I do not own Lost.
.Letter to a Dead Man.
Dear Charlie,
I don't know why I'm writing this. The strange urge to tell you about all that's happened to us, to me, hit me and I couldn't resist. There's no grave to visit, or I would tell you this in person. Instead I'll put it away on the mantle, next to your DS ring that's still just a tad big for Aaron.
We got off the island, Charlie. Aaron, Kate, Jack, Sayid, Sun, Hurley and I - and it's all thanks to you. The helicopter came; it swooped down like it had come straight from heaven, and picked the seven of us up. We would have gone back, we would have saved everyone else - but the island disappeared. Into thin air. Can you believe it? Aaron started crying, and it made me wonder where you are now. Floating, all alone, in the middle of the ocean? Of course, that thought was too depressing and I started to cry with Aaron. (I miss you, Charlie.)
I couldn't give Aaron up after that - though I'm sure the whole world would have taken him in. The Oceanic Seven, that's what they're calling us. What a rotten name, don't you think? We're labeled for life.
Anyway, Aaron and I settled down in LA, a cozy little house on the outskirts of the city. No one knows the truth - we had to lie about the whole island. No one knows about Sawyer, Boone, Shannon, Eko….you. It's so hard, having to lie to the whole world. I wish you were here - then I could really talk to you, instead of having to write this empty letter.
Oh, now I'm crying. I know you wouldn't want me to cry - Desmond told me you went down to that hatch knowing you were going to die for us all. I won't bore you with details, but it makes me feel so guilty, so….I don't even know.
Speaking of Desmond, anyway, you'll never believe it. He got off the island too, and met up with Penny. They have a son now, a year younger than Aaron. His name's Charlie. Yeah, after you. When they told me I hugged them so tight it hurt and oh, boy, Charlie, the baby's beautiful. You'd love him.
Sun had her baby, too. Ji Yeon - she said that's what Jin wanted. Jin…..he was on a freighter, Charlie, and we watched it explode. He's gone, just like half the other people from that cursed island. Are you with them now? Are you watching over Aaron and me?
I like to think you are.
Hurley, he called me up about a year after we left. I'd heard that he was admitted to Santa Rosa Mental Hospital, but I didn't have time to get in touch and talk to him. So he called me, with one of the pay phones in the hospital.
"Claire," he said to me. "I know you aren't going to believe me, but I'll tell you anyway. Charlie, man, Charlie says he loves you."
He hung up right after, so that I couldn't say anything. I called back a moment later, only to get a busy signal. Charlie, was he telling the truth? I don't - can't - believe him.
But when I looked it up online…it said Hugo Reyes had been admitted to the asylum for seeing dead people. This was unconfirmed, of course, just a bunch of estimating and research. But…what if was true? Did he really, truly see you, Charlie? Oh gosh, if he did I….I wish was him for a moment. Then I could see you, Aaron could see you.
Aaron. He doesn't remember you, Charlie, but and it tears me up when he asks where his daddy is, because all the other kids have daddies, and all I think is 'Charlie's your daddy, Charlie's your dead daddy.' But of course I can't tell him that. So I sat him down and explained that you, Charlie, were in a better place now. (I figure mentioning Thomas isn't a good idea. Aaron will just be even more confused then he is now.)
It's so hard without you, Charlie. Not knowing whether you're still out there, or whether you can see us or not. Aaron…he may not remember, but he still can sense it. Whenever I play Drive Shaft (I bought your CD) we both start crying, and he doesn't know why. I wish you'd never swam down to that hatch, Charlie. I wish you were here with me. I wish…I wish…
I wish I hadn't been so scared to say I love you. Thomas…he tore me up, and it was so soon afterwards when I met you, I was just rejecting it, I couldn't handle it. But it's the truth, I'm sure of it.
I'm in love with a dead man.
I'm in love you, Charlie.
- Claire