After much searching, Henry finally found Jo in the police department's shooting range. She was quickly obliterating the heart out of the paper silhouette in front of her as he slowly walked towards her. He wasn't looking forward to talking to her and already felt dread building in his stomach over the impending conversation that was sure to quickly turn into an argument.
It was almost hard to remember that there had been a time when he hadn't had any anxiety over talking with her. Things between them used to be so easy; he used to look forward to every opportunity he had to speak with her. They'd had fun together. They'd made each other happy. But that seemed like a very long time ago. Nearly two months had passed since those days of ease and it pained Henry to see how far they had come from those times.
It was made even harder to accept by the fact that he didn't know why it was happening. He felt like he was losing Jo a little more with every passing day but he was still no closer to finding out what was taking her from him than he had been when the trouble had started. There was very little of the Jo he knew in the woman that was in front of him right now and the relationship between them seemed to have nearly disappeared.
Henry took a deep breath and steeled himself. He waited until Jo was done shooting before he approached her and once she had turned to load another clip for her gun he tried to get her attention. He called her name several times but she didn't hear him through the noise cancelling headphones she was wearing. Finally, he decided to reach out a touch her shoulder slightly.
She jumped, startled at the sudden touch, since she had not heard him coming. She turned towards him, a glare on her face as she took off her headphones. "Henry, you don't sneak up on someone when they have a gun in their hand."
Great. She was already irritated with him. He wasn't even about to point out that she didn't have the gun in her hand and he had waited to speak for that very reason. "Sorry," he said instead, letting that argument go.
"What do you want?" she asked impatience in her voice.
He tried not to let it hurt but it was impossible to stop it. That's how their conversations had been as of late: short, strained and to the point. They were nothing more than they absolutely had to be. And he hated it. He wanted to talk to her about something besides work, which they only seemed to talk about because they were forced to talk about. He wanted to talk about nothing at all if they felt like it. But their interactions were only work related and even those Jo had reduced from the frequency they used to share.
Jo, however. did not seem to feel the same desire to change their current situation, so he would keep the matter at hand straightforward. "I just spoke with Reece," he said cautiously.
He watched as her face fell and she turned back to working on her gun. He expected her to say something but apparently she was going to try and avoid the subject entirely. He took a couple of steps towards her while still leaving a decent amount of space between them.
"She told me that you and her got into quite the argument."
"We had a disagreement; that's all," she said with a shrug.
"It's unusual for the two of you to argue."
"Reece and I don't always see eye to eye about things."
"It's not like you to be disrespectful though. Yes, I've known the two of you to have differences of opinion from time to time but you've always shown her respect even when you did think she was wrong."
"I wasn't being disrespectful. I just didn't try and hide my opinion from her this time and I guess she didn't like having someone disagree with her."
"That's not the way she made it sound."
Jo turned around to face Henry. "I was right about the Reynolds case," she said firmly. "I'm sorry she doesn't like the way it was handled but that doesn't change the fact that I was right in the end."
"Jo, that may be true. But it sounds like you didn't handle it in the best way. It sounds like you were looking for a fight."
"Oh really? So, what? Did she call you in just to tell you how inappropriate I was acting?"
"She called me in to see if I knew of any reason that would explain your change in behavior lately. She knows we have a personal relationship as well as a professional one and she thought I might be able to shed some light on the situation." At least we used to have a personal relationship.
"How fortunate I am to have so many people talking about what's wrong with me. It's heartwarming really," she said with sarcastically. "So, what did you tell her?"
"I told her I was as lost as she was. What else was I supposed to tell her? You haven't told me anything."
"There isn't anything."
"Come on Jo," he said, not believing it for a second.
"I don't care what Reece thinks."
"Jo," he pleaded urgently. "She said this isn't the first time this has happened. She told me that she told you that if there is another incident like this then you are going to get suspended. Aren't you worried about that?"
For a second it looked as if the threat bothered Jo. It certainly bothered Henry; he had never known Jo to get in trouble at work, especially not to the point that her job was in jeopardy. But she quickly shrugged it off. "She's just angry. It won't come to that."
"She's worried about you." So am I.
"No, she isn't. All she cares about is whether or not I can get my job done."
"That isn't true."
"It isn't?" she said crossing her arms. "You know what she said the first time she met me? She said that she had read in my file about my husband dying recently but that she couldn't cut me any slack for it. I hadn't done anything wrong but she felt it necessary to let me know I would be allowed no slip ups. She doesn't care what's going on in my personal life; it is not to affect my job at all."
Henry knew that such sentiment was necessary with Reece's position and in this situation. He knew that Jo understood that too but he also knew that it still must have hurt Jo to have to hear it. His voice was even softer when he spoke again. "What is going on in your personal life?"
"Henry, we've been over this," she warned.
"Yes, we have. But you still haven't told me the truth. You say Reece doesn't care about your personal life. I do. I care and I'm asking now."
He watched as her face softened for an instant and for moment he thought he had broken through. But then he watched as it hardened again and she turned her back to him. "Nothing is going on," she said stiffly.
"Yes it is," he insisted, his desperation leading to frustration. "But you won't tell me what it is."
"I don't know why you insist on making me out to be a liar."
"Maybe because it fits," he said, becoming angry now himself. "You say nothing is wrong but this, this isn't you. Reece was right; you were reckless and careless on that case. You went in there by yourself, without back up. The case ended successfully but it could have easily gone the other way. You jeopardized your safety and the outcome of that case. Not to mention you were so hung over when you got here this morning it did not take special powers of deduction to see."
Henry was interrupted from his speech by the loud sound of Jo slamming her gun against the table. "Henry, that is enough!" she shouted, her voice was dangerous and it made him stop. He'd heard her fierce before but not dangerous. Her tone held every suggestion in it that he would be wise not to continue.
Silence hung in the room for a few minutes before she spoke again, this time, alarmingly quiet. "We are done here."
It did not take long for Henry's unusual and brief spell of anger to fade completely and be replaced with deep guilt. He hadn't meant to get angry with her. He was just so frustrated with being put off and distanced from her for weeks now, that he had let it get the better of him. He wished he'd held his tongue and remained gentle with her.
He knew she was hurting. Something was wrong whether she wanted to admit it or not. And he just wanted her to open up; he just wanted her to let him in and not try to handle it all on her own. That had been his goal all along. But getting angry at her and pointing out her faults was not the right way to go about gaining her trust and making her feel open. Things had already been such a mess and now he'd made it even worse.
Jo had already put on her headphones, clearly done speaking with him. She started shooting again, her actions taking on a more heated tone to them than before, the paper figure suffering the loss of its head as she took her frustration out on it.
Jo was standing right in front of him but he had never missed her so much.
Henry knocked on the door in front of him, feeling nervous and uncertain. He still wasn't sure this was the right the thing to do. This could either make things between him and Jo better or make them infinitely worse. But he was out of any other options and he didn't know what else to do.
"Henry," Iona greeted, a smile on her face when she opened the door of her office to find him standing there. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
Henry noticed she was pulling on a robe to cover herself and he kicked himself for not thinking ahead. "I'm sorry. Am I interrupting a session?"
"No," she said with a smile. "I'm in between appointments at the moment. Do you want to come in?"
"If you have a minute to talk?"
"For you, Henry, I always do. Come in," she said stepping aside and letting him in.
He followed her to the middle of the room and sat on the couch and she sat in the chair opposite him. "So, what brings you here?" she asked with clear curiosity.
Henry took a deep breath, feeling anxious, though he wasn't sure why. He'd never been nervous around Iona, even when he had found himself about to receive a "professional demonstration" from her. Maybe it was because this time, it wasn't his problems that he needed help dealing with. This time, so much was at stake. "I need your help."
"Now, Henry if this is a professional matter I'm going to have to stop you there. I told you I don't feel comfortable seeing you as a client. However," she added with a devious smile, "if this is a matter of pleasure we can discuss it at any length you want."
"I am in need of your professional assistance but not for myself. It's Jo."
Iona noticed the concern in his voice when he said her name. Henry watched as Iona's demeanor became serious, more detached and professional. "What's wrong?"
Henry wrung his hands together, potently feeling the worry that had built up in him over the past two months. Iona's voice was so full of concern and it made him realize how heavy this burden had been to him. He hadn't known how much he had needed to talk to someone about this and he was glad he had the opportunity now. He had tried to handle all of this on his own but he had failed. He knew he needed help.
"I don't know," he said shaking his head in worry. "She hasn't been herself in so long. I know something is wrong but she won't tell me what it is. I'm losing her."
Iona gave him an encouraging smile and when she spoke her voice was calm and full of reassurance. "I'm sure things aren't so bleak as that. Let's sort this all out. Did you two have an argument?"
"No, not initially. But I can't help feeling that I've done something wrong. She says she's isn't mad at me but her actions say otherwise. She's been so short tempered and angry lately. It seems I'm always doing or saying something wrong. And she's distancing herself from me. We used to go out for drinks or dinner after work, often. Now she refuses every invitation. We haven't been anywhere that wasn't work related in months."
Iona took all of this in before asking. "Does she seem to be acting this way with everyone or does this behavior seem to be directed only at you?"
"It's everybody I think. She's been excluding her partner, Detective Hanson, out of work lately, handling things on her own if she can get away with it. And she's been frequently bumping heads with the Lieutenant. If you knew Jo, you would know how odd that is."
"Is there any other behavior that is new or troubling?"
"Well, what I've mentioned already is what troubles me the most. Jo isn't an angry person and she's not usually so intent on isolating herself. But she has also been coming to work hung over frequently, which is something I haven't known her to do since when we first met. She's been extremely careless. I'm afraid if something doesn't change soon she'll lose her job."
"Jo has a very stressful job. Has anything significant or traumatic happened recently?"
Henry shook his head. "Not that I know of. I asked her about it a few times, when this all began and she denied it. Then she became angry whenever I brought it up so I stopped. But that only make me more certain that something has happened that I don't know of. "
"So, the behavior came on suddenly? It wasn't gradual?"
"Yes. But it has been growing worse and worse over the weeks."
Iona paused and thought about all that Henry had said. "It certainly does sound as if there is something going on. But I have to ask: what prompted you to seek out my assistance? Maybe traditional therapy would be a more appropriate place to start."
Henry couldn't help but feel the hopelessness building inside of him. "We've already tried that. When Jo started having problems at work Lieutenant Reece ordered her to see a therapist. Like you said, her job is stressful and it builds up on everyone eventually. She thought maybe Jo was just going through a rough patch. And Jo went, for a while. But recently she's given up going, despite the threats of reprimand she's been given if she doesn't continue."
"Did she give a reason for why she stopped seeing the therapist?"
"She said it wasn't helping; that it was a waste of time." Henry paused, feeling the swell of emotions building in him. "Can you help her?" he asked desperately. "I'm sorry, I came here like this; I don't mean to put you in an unusual position. I just don't know what else I can do."
Iona smiled warmly at him. "Henry, you don't need apologize for seeking out my help. I would always been willing to help Jo despite whatever may be between you and me. I'm sure we can get to root of the problem."
Henry let out a sigh of relief. "Really? That's wonderful."
"That being said," she said holding out a finger to stop him, "It will be up to Jo whether or not she wants to participate in this form of therapy."
"Yes, of course."
"You need to discuss this matter with her and see if this is even something she would be interested in. Not many people are comfortable with this kind of therapy. It does work well in situations where all other attempts have failed but in order for it to be effective she needs to feel comfortable with it."
"Right," he said nodding his head but feeling some of his newfound hope leave him. He hadn't really thought that far ahead. He felt silly now to realize that he hadn't even considered that yet. Would Jo be comfortable or even willing to come here? He doubted it. What would she even say if he asked? He was almost certain she would say no.
"Henry?" Iona asked, seeing the change in his tone.
"I just want her back," he said quietly.
"I know," she said reaching out to take his hand and give it a squeeze. He looked up at her and she smiled. "Don't worry; we'll get there. Bring her by tomorrow and I'll see what we can work out."
Henry willed himself to draw on the positivity he heard in her voice. She made it sound as if it really would be alright and he tried to believe that instead of all the doubts in his head.
The cab pulled up to the curb and Henry opened the door, holding his breath as he got out. Somehow he had managed to convince Jo to come with him after getting off work but he had no idea how things would go from here. He had apologized to her after their fight and he was surprised but delighted that she had forgiven him. It had given him more cause to hope than he'd previously had that maybe things could be resolved between them. It had given him the needed momentum to ask her out which she had actually agreed to. They hadn't been out since this whole mess began and he knew that it was a good sign that she was agreeing to it now.
Unfortunately, it was under false pretenses; Jo didn't know where they were going. Even though their next conversation had gone better than the one they'd had in the shooting range, he had still chickened out. He'd just been so relieved to have found a small bit of good will from Jo that, rather than be encouraged by it, he was terrified of losing it. He was certain that the moment he brought up coming for therapy, especially of this nature, she would refuse and be upset at him again.
Instead, she thought they were going out for drinks. He hated that he had lied to her. Really, he knew he was a coward for not discussing the idea of therapy with Iona with her. He didn't quite recognize himself or his actions these days either. These past weeks with Jo so unlike herself had put him on edge and left him not feeling like himself too.
Henry held the door open and waited for Jo to get out and follow him, awaiting the verdict and was almost certain everything was about to blow up right in his face. Jo slid to the edge of the seat and looked at their destination then she turn to glare at Henry.
"This doesn't look like a bar."
"We can go afterwards," he offered lamely.
"No," she said shaking her head firmly, angry.
"Just try and have an open mind," Henry said with as much positivity as he could muster at this point. This was his last resort and if this didn't work he had no idea what else to do. He desperately needed this to work and he wasn't sure how he would cope if she didn't even give it a try. He needed his partner back and he couldn't see any other way to reach her besides this.
"Absolutely not," she said crossing her arms and sitting back against the seat, looking as if she had no plans to get out. "You lied to me."
The way she said those last few words conveyed that, despite the obvious anger on the surface, she was really hurt by the lie. Henry hated himself for it. He should have come up with a better way. "I'm sorry," he said sincerely. "Can't you just give it a try? Please?"
"Henry, you know how I feel about her."
"I know you find Iona's methods to be unconventional but you may be surprised at their effectiveness."
"Unconventional? Unconventional! That's a nice way of putting it. The woman beats people in her underwear and calls it 'therapy.'"
Henry sighed. This was going about as terribly as he had worried it would. "Yes, her means are unusual but sometimes that's what a situation calls for."
"Listen, I know she got in your head and convinced you that she's credible and that her methods are beneficial. You might be undone by her whims and whatnot but I won't. She would have to do a little more than traipse around in her underwear and sweet talk me to get me into handcuffs."
Henry had to admit that comment stung a bit. He knew it had looked bad when he had been caught at Iona's office in handcuffs awaiting the professional demonstration of her services. But he hadn't realized how little Jo thought of him for it. He didn't know she had viewed him as weak because of it. He reminded himself that she was angry at him and she had every reason to be to help chase away the bite of her words.
"Jo, nothing else it working," he said tiredly. "You have to admit there's a problem here. I don't know what it is but you can't deny that there is one."
He dared to call her out on it again, this time much gentler than the last. This time, doing things right, conveying his concern for her in his tone and not his frustration. Still, he held his breath, fearing she would retaliate at the words.
She looked away from him. She didn't confirm it but she didn't deny it either and that was closer than they'd gotten so far. He knew she was embarrassed and hurting and his heart went out to her. She had been so resistant, putting up so much of a fight against any help. He didn't know why she did it and he wanted nothing more than to help her. He hoped maybe now she would let him.
He leaned down closer to her and spoke softly. "I know something is wrong. Fighting with Reece, letting work slip, that's not you. I don't want you to lose your job. I wouldn't have brought you here expect that nothing else seems to be making things better."
I want my friend back
He thought that to himself but he didn't add it out loud. That was the real reason he had brought her here. While he did care about her job and he didn't want her to jeopardize it their friendship was what he most wanted to retrieve. He felt like he was losing her and he just wanted her back.
"This won't work," she said quietly after a few moments of deliberation. He could see her demeanor soften slightly and he knew he had reason to hope. She did still care what he had to say; maybe he could still get through.
"Then try it, if for no other reason, except that I just ask you to."
"Fine," she finally huffed, trudging out of the car. "But don't expect any miracles or anything. I know you believe in what she does but I still don't get it and don't see how it's supposed to be therapy."
Henry's face lit up at her agreement and though Jo felt a little sick at the prospect of what she had agreed to, to see the effect it had on Henry she couldn't say she had made the wrong decision. "Just giving it a chance is all I ask."
He offered her a hand as she got out of the cab but she waved it away and walked on ahead of him. She wasn't happy with him and she wasn't happy to be here but she was willing. That was something he told himself.
They walked up to Iona's office in silence and Henry knocked on the door. He glanced over at Jo, trying to read her expression as they waited but all he could see for sure was anger. He hoped he had made the right decision in seeking Iona's help. If this didn't work out he may find himself in an even worse place with Jo than he was now.
Iona opened the door and smiled at them. "Henry," she greeted first before turning towards Jo her smile growing even warmer at the sight of her. "Jo. I'm glad you're here. Come in."
Jo somehow plastered on a smile, though she was sure it looked incredibly fake. She wasn't sure how to respond to that since this was not where she had expected to end up and was the last place she wanted to be.
She walked reluctantly in but when Henry tried to follow, Iona reached out a hand and stopped him. "Thank you, Henry, for bringing Jo by but we'll take it from here."
Jo had a brief moment of panic. Henry wasn't going to be staying? She hadn't had long to consider what was going to happen in Iona's office but she had at least expected Henry would be there with her. This was his idea after all. She had no idea what Iona was going to do with her and she didn't want to be alone for it.
She glanced at him. There was clear surprise on his face as well. He had obviously expected to be allowed to stay too. "Are you sure you wouldn't rather I stay?" he asked Iona trying to appear unalarmed.
"I'm quite sure," Iona said putting a hand on Jo's shoulder to lead her in.
Henry must have seen the look on Jo's face because he spoke again. "I thought I would be staying with Jo."
"I'm sorry, Henry," Iona said turning to him her voice a little stricter. "I thought you meant for this session to be for Jo."
"I did. But maybe it would be best if I stayed."
"Would you rather this be a couple's session?"
Part of Jo hoped maybe he would say yes. Didn't he see the distress on her face? Couldn't he see how much she didn't want stay here alone with Iona? This had been his idea not hers; it didn't seem fair that he would leave and she'd been left to deal with it by herself. While it might be embarrassing to go through this with him there that thought was preferable to facing this alone.
When he had spoken to her down at the cab she had thought maybe he was finally starting to understand. She thought maybe he was beginning to see what she needed from him. She silently pleaded with him to see, to decide to stay with her.
Henry seemed surprised and startled by the idea. "No, of course not," he said shaking his head quickly to Iona's question.
Jo rolled her eyes and shook her head at his quick denial. Like all of the other silent pleadings she'd uttered over the past few weeks, this one went unheard as well. Henry's clear lack of desire to stay with her while Iona beat her problems out of her only reminded her of why she was mad at him. Of course, he wasn't going to stay here and help her through this. She wasn't sure why she thought he would. She was alone in this.
"Then of course you can't stay," Iona said. She stepped back and Henry shot Jo one quick look. She was sure he was trying to give her some encouragement before he left but she avoided it quickly, her frustration at him building by the minute.
"That's better, now that we've gotten rid of him," Iona said, turning towards Jo after she had closed the door. Part of Jo couldn't help but agree completely but part of her already wished Henry would come back.
"Do you want Henry to stay?" Iona asked with concern when she noticed the way Jo was staring at the closed door. "Because he can if that would be more comfortable for you. I sent him away because I thought you'd prefer the session to be more private."
Jo stared at the door another minute before shaking her head and putting on a look of confidence. "No. It's better this way."
"Please have a seat," Iona said gesturing towards the couch.
Jo gave her a confused look. "I thought Henry brought me for a session?"
"He did. We'll start by sitting and having a chat."
Jo supposed that she had assumed they would just get straight to the beating. After all, Iona's services weren't supposed to be conventional in any way and sitting on a couch and talking sounded very much like regular therapy. In a way, Jo was more worried about the idea of talking than she did with whatever else Iona may want to do with her. She had no intentions of talking about her feelings, especially to Iona.
Jo sat down on the couch, taking off her coat as she did and Iona sat on the chair opposite her. Jo couldn't help staring around the room a little bit more thoroughly than she had the last time she'd been here. The only time she'd been in Iona's office was in connection to the Gaines murder. At the time, Iona had been the suspect, the one whose actions were on trial. Jo couldn't help but feel she was in that position now.
Her gaze got caught on the red curtain to the right of the room, behind which Iona kept all the tools of her trade. That room Jo had searched thoroughly and she couldn't help but be distracted by memories of what she had found there. Last time, she had been the one in charge; she came and went freely in her investigation. Now Iona would be the one in charge. She would be giving Iona permission to bound her up and hurt her. Really thinking about that she wondered if she could actually do this. She thought she could just for Henry's sake but she was alone and she wasn't sure she could go through this by herself.
"Jo?" Iona called.
Jo turned towards her and realized that Iona must have called more than once while she had been sidetracked. "Yes?"
"Is everything alright? You seem a bit preoccupied."
"Yeah. I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Well, I only found out I was coming here a few minutes ago, so I guess I am still trying to get over the shock."
Iona sighed. "He sprung it on you then?"
"Yes."
Iona shook her head. "I was afraid he would do that. I certainly didn't ask him to. I encouraged him to discuss it with you ahead of time, to see if it was even something you were interested in. I apologize that he didn't give you that consideration."
Jo was surprised by the sincerity in Iona's voice. "It's alright," she said with a shrug.
"Jo, if you don't want to be here, you don't have to stay."
"I'm not enthused to be here, no offense," she admitted, "But Henry asked me to and I'm sure I'll never hear the end of it if I don't at least give it a try."
Iona smiled. "Henry can be rather persistent. But again I stress, being here is your decision. Henry doesn't get to decide it for you. If are not comfortable with having a session then we won't have one. I need to know that you are comfortable proceeding."
Jo deliberated for a moment. She wasn't surprised that Iona needed her consent but it was harder to give it than it was to pretend that she had no choice in the matter. She wasn't really comfortable with it, truth be told, but she also knew that there wouldn't be getting out of it. Henry really wanted her to try and she would do it for him. For all of their problems recently she did care about him. She didn't want to hurt him and this seemed to mean so much to him that she was willing to do it for him.
She sighed. Honestly, she was also exhausted and didn't feel like putting up a fight. It seemed like that was all she ever did anymore and she was tired of it. She couldn't even muster up a reason enough to say no.
"I am. It's fine; I give you permission."
Iona studied Jo for a second. "Are you sure you're comfortable with this?"
Jo shrugged nervously. "I'm comfortable enough to stay, if that's what you're asking. But it does feel a little strange to be here."
"I realize that this must feel very awkward to you; this is all completely new to you. But I assure you that this situation is not uncommon and not one you need to be embarrassed of. I have clients from all walks of life including many female clients. I assure you that there is nothing sexual about what I do. Although domination is most commonly associated with and used in sexual situations my methods are purely for therapeutic purposes."
Jo felt her face flush despite herself. This was so awkward. Iona's words seemed to make her feel less at ease instead of more so. She had assumed that Iona was a prostitute throughout the entire Gaines case and she supposed part of her still believed it until recently. Even if what Iona said was true, this still felt like getting terribly close to a line that she was not at all comfortable crossing. She cursed Henry again for bringing her here; she would kill him for this.
"Alright," she finally agreed but it sounded as unsure as she felt.
"There is nothing wrong with getting help when you need it either," Iona added. "Sometimes we get ourselves into situations that require a little more coaxing than normal to get out of. That's nothing to be ashamed of."
This was also something that Jo had a hard time with. It didn't feel alright to need the help. She didn't like needing help. She took care of herself. She had always prided herself on keeping it all together, on making it appear as if she were fine even when she wasn't. Being here was only a reminder that she was failing terribly at that. She was coming undone and everyone could see it.
"I would be happy to answer any questions you might have about what I do," Iona offered when Jo still remained silent.
"No, it's fine. Just proceed like you normally would," Jo said quickly, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.
"Alright. Now I've heard Henry's side of the story but I would really like to hear yours."
"What do you mean?"
"I want to know what's going on. What's bothering you?"
"Nothing. I'm fine," she said quickly like it was an impulse. She didn't even have to think about this lie any more. It came to her instantly, almost as if it were the truth.
Iona could obviously see through that. "That isn't the way Henry made it sound."
"Henry is just blowing things out of proportion."
"Really? He said you've been having some trouble at work. Is that not true?"
"Well, yes I suppose that's true," she admitted reluctantly.
"Do you want to tell me about it?"
"I've just had a few disagreements with my boss. But it isn't a big deal. Henry is much more worried about it than he needs to be."
"Alright," Iona agreed, not believing what Jo said but not pressing her on it. "Things seem like they might be a little strained between the two of you lately."
"They have," Jo admitted.
"Is there a reason for that?"
"No."
"He said you haven't been acting like yourself lately. Have you been feeling not yourself lately?"
"No, I haven't been feeling like myself…for a while now," she admitted, surprising herself by telling the truth.
"Why is that?" Iona said gently.
Jo stared at Iona for a moment. For some reason, she felt like she wanted to tell Iona about it. She wasn't sure why that was. She didn't have a lot of respect for Iona and her particular line of work. She really shouldn't want to talk to her. But right now, Jo couldn't ignore the concern in Iona's voice and it was so welcome to hear. Still, she hesitated.
"Jo, you can tell me," Iona encouraged. "Henry may have brought you here but the only way he'll know what happened here or anything you said is if you tell him yourself. You know my confidentiality policies are very strict. You don't have to be worried to tell me."
"I'm not worried. There's just nothing to tell," she insisted, pushing back her brief moment of weakness.
"I just want to help you get to feeling better. Not feeling like yourself isn't a good thing. And it must have been provoked by something," Iona pressed slightly.
"Well, you seem to know about everything already; I'm not sure what I can add that would be helpful," Jo snapped.
"I've upset you," Iona said, noticing the tone in Jo's voice.
"No. No, I just don't appreciate being ganged up on and deceived."
Iona had upset her, whether she was going to admit it or not. She was just so tired of this. For weeks everyone had been acting as if they knew what Jo was going through. They told her how to feel even though they had no idea what was wrong. Iona was no different. It would be an error on her part to think otherwise.
"Jo, I hope you won't see it that way. We both just want to help make things better for you. While I agree that Henry's approach to getting things done isn't always the most ideal, his heart is in the right place."
"Well, I don't fault him too much about it," Jo replied defensively. "He asked me to come, so here I am. I'm being a rather good sport about it, all things considered."
"You are, I agree. But I mean what I say about Henry. I know from where you're sitting it appears as if he deceived you into coming. And he did. It was wrong for him to bring you here without telling you where you were going. But from where I sit I think you are a very fortunate person."
Jo couldn't help but be irked at this. "Well, maybe you wouldn't if you had heard as many lies and half-truths from him as I have. I know he thinks most of them get by me but they don't. It doesn't feel very good to know he feels himself high and mighty enough to decide which information you should be privy to."
"Henry is a private man. He does have secrets. But there is also something else to be said about him. Even though he doesn't always get things right with people, he has one of the greatest capacities to love that I've ever seen. When he cares for a person it's completely, and I think that you are one of the people that he cares for."
"No," Jo disagreed instantly, shaking her head and looking down. No, he doesn't. I thought maybe he did…but he shouldn't anyway, she thought to herself. She was feeling vulnerable and she wanted Iona's words to be true. She wanted them to be true so badly.
"I disagree. I've seen a lot of people come into my office. But it's hard to recall very many who were here because someone else took a special interest in them. Almost everybody I've seen in here is here because they chose to be not because anyone else cared enough to seek help for them, like Henry did for you."
Jo felt tears in her eyes as she looked down at her lap. All this time she had thought that Henry had been so oblivious to what had been going on. It would be a mistake to think otherwise. Just tonight she'd been wrong about him. When he had apologized for their fight and asked her out for drinks she thought they were making some positive progress. But in the end Henry had only been lying to her. While his actions to Iona appeared as if he genuinely cared for her, she knew better. Everything was not as it seemed.
"It's obvious that you and Henry care about each other very much."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, he came here seeking help for you because he wants you to feel better. And you obviously care for him because you agreed even though you don't think very much of what I do. You both did what you did for each other."
"You don't know anything about us."
"Jo," Iona said quietly. "Henry said 'I just want her back.' He said that about you. He misses you."
Jo squeezed her eyes shut as they burned with tears. Did Henry really say that? Did he really feel that way? No, Henry was just sticking his nose into her business, just like he did with everyone. It didn't mean anything.
She couldn't allow herself to believe it did. She had believed maybe he loved her once and she had been let down. If she believed it again, she would be let down again. Now, she couldn't even expect him to feel that way. Not now when she knew what kind of person she was.
Henry had brought her here because he thought he knew best. He thought he understood her and he thought Iona could easily get the truth out of her. Everyone thought they understood. Everyone acted as if they knew what was going on. But they didn't know anything. They didn't know her. It wasn't so simple and she was going to show them.
Jo stood up suddenly and awkwardly. Iona looked up at her questionably like she thought Jo was about to leave. "Listen, I'd just as soon get this over with as quickly as possible," Jo said firmly. "We might as well get started." She was tired of talking. Talking didn't change anything. It was why she had stopped seeing the therapist she'd been ordered to see. It wouldn't make any difference here either.
Iona stood and faced her. "Alright," she said reading Jo's expression, a little surprised by the quick change. "I like an enthusiastic client. I suppose there isn't any reason to delay."
Jo didn't like being referred to as one of Iona's clients but she didn't want to waste any time quibbling over technicalities. She made her way over to Iona's inner room, yanked back the curtain and let herself in.