AN: This is a sample chapter to see if people would actually read this story. It will have Callie's P.O.V. if I continue. Some things are from personal experience and some are not. Leave reviews or contact me on Tumblr (perfectpoundcaking) if you would read more.

Disclaimer: I do not own any Grey's related stuff I just like to make stories, okay! All characters belong to Shonda and the Grey's makers.

She couldn't remember when the first time she cut herself was but she remembered what happened that day. She remembers being alone; her brother at a friends and her parents at dinner. She remembers trying to find something; anything to make the pain go away.

Arizona's P.O.V.

Sadness. Loneliness. Anger. I felt all those things. I looked in every cupboard and drawer for something, anything to take all the feelings away. "Falling" down the stairs and "accidently" burning myself on the stove just doesn't work anymore. I walked in the bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. My hair, curly and blonde was messily thrown in a ponytail. I had mascara running down my face. And I could still feel tears welling up in my eyes, then proceeding to roll down my cheeks. My eyes red and puffy from squeezing them shut so tight. I looked around taking in the surroundings of my first floor bathroom. The walls painted a cream color, the tan rug next to the tub and the shower curtain covered in brown and teal designs. I pushed the curtain aside and took my hair out of its elastic and started the shower. Then my eyes fell on my purple razor next to my mother's pink one. I picked it up and looked at the blades. They were thin and slightly dull from its usage. I knew we kept new ones in the bathroom closet, so I walked over and bent down to reach the third drawer. Opening it I took a violet one and studied it. I asked myself how I could break it to get the blades out. The razor was disposable.. meaning cheap, soft plastic. I walked into my father's study and grabbed the scissors he keeps in the top drawer of his desk. I walked back into the bathroom and took the trash from its corner and leaned over it. I cut the top in half then the sides and bottom. The blades came out fairly easy. There were two, both never been used, sharp as possible. I knew they weren't sterile so I put some rubbing alcohol on them. I pulled my pajama pants down my legs and ran my hands over my thighs. I was mentally measuring where my shortest shorts would cover. When I found the perfect place to mark my skin. I lowered the blade to my thigh. I didn't push too hard, not knowing just how easily the razor cut. I made a cut about half the size of my pinky. I felt new feelings. Adrenaline, control, relief. I don't know why I felt these things but it felt sort of... good. I marked my skin three more times before wiping the blood that gathered there. After I stopped is when I felt the physical pain of having cuts marking my flesh. I don't know why I panicked, but I did. I quickly applied antibiotic ointment and a bandage from my mother's "I used to be a nurse" first aid kit. The sound of my shower running brought me out of my panic. I took off all my clothes and threw them on the floor to be picked up later. Stepping into the warm spray immediately relaxed my muscles. I took the washcloth off the faucet and wet it. I wiped and rubbed all the makeup on my face off, and washed my hair and body. As I turned off the water I heard the front door close then my father.

"Zona, are you up?"

Then my mother, "Shh Daniel. She's probably sleeping... or trying to."

I wrapped a towel around my body and one around my hair. I exited the bathroom and made my way into the living room. "I'm not sleeping. Just a late night shower to relax before bed."

My mother sat down on the couch next to my father as I sat on the armchair across the table. "Sounds nice. So how was your night?"

"It was good. I watched a few movies, and did my laundry. Then I took a shower."

My parents looked at each other the same way they do every weekend. My mother finally spoke. "Arizona, we want to ask you something." I nodded for her to continue. "We've been in Miami for a little over a year and Tim brings his friends over all the time... You haven't brought anybody here except your cousin, and we haven't even seen her in a while-"

"What your mother is trying to ask is are you making friends? When you talk about school it's always about your classes. Nothing more."

I wanted to tell them everything. Like how Teddy was supposed to be there for me like she said she would but her friends for some unknown reason disliked me and urged her not to hang out with me often. Or how the people at school were just plain mean. (I have been out to my family for a while and I don't like hiding who I am so everybody knows.) Even though there's other gay people at school everybody decides to pick on me for it. (They make fun of me for the stupidest things like my grades. (It's not my fault I'm smart and I use that to my advantage.) They laugh at me because I like to read and write. And how I hurt myself to get rid of the horrible feelings of all of it. But I didn't. "Yeah. I just, you know how much I'm focused on my school work. I just need to focus on that for a while since some things they've learned and I haven't and vise versa. That's- uh- that's all." I looked both my parents in the eye to ensure I was fine.

My father nodded and my mother got up and hugged me, "Okay honey, we just wanted to make sure you were okay. We're going to bed and I suggest you do too. It's late and we have a long day ahead of us. Goodnight, we love you." Her and my father got up and went to bed.

"I love you too. Goodnight." I sat there for another minute and sighed.

Nothing about this night is good.