America: Australia, Sealand, initiate evasive maneuver number 37.
Australia and Sealand: Right! *they disappear*
England: HOW DO YOU GET THEM TO LISTEN TO YOU?!
America: England, there is a difference between saying something... and speaking it.
*Later at the bar*
France: *walks in and raises his eyebrows at drowsy England sipping liqueur* You again?
England: America is a born leader... *takes another gulp of alcohol*
*England puts a sailor hat on a random blonde boy on the street and a koala on a brunette guy*
News anchor: Breaking news as videos of a man grappling with a koala in London go viral...
Other countries: BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Australia: *shaking his head* Dad is just asking for it at this point, mate.
America: *sighs* I can't wait to move out.
- Meanwhile
Brunette: *trying to get the koala off his face* GET AWAY FROM MEEEE!
England: That's just what my boys would say!
*England is in Tamaki Suoh euphoria reminiscing about his sons as the poor guy finally gets to run away. France walks past with a big smirk on his face, holding boyhood Canada's hand. Canada was slurping the ice cream France just bought him.*
*And across town, Australia finds out that his koala is missing and posts reward signs all over town in a frenzy.*
*England is found sobbing and drinking in an alleyway, wearing a baby's sailor hat, hugging a koala bear, and there are hand painted toy soldiers spread out on the cement around him.*
*America, Sealand, and Australia find him.*
America: Dudes, I knew we would eventually wind up taking care of him, but not THIS soon.
*France and boyhood Canada walk in.*
France: Ohohohohohoho! How pathetic! *flips hair* I'm absolutely a superior parent!
*Canada walks over to America, sucking his thumb on one hand, takes America's hand in the other.*
America: Who are you?
*The kids, including Canada, wander off*
England: Yeah, bloke? If you're such a good parent where is your child now?
France: ... You do not know where your children are either and you have THREE. Zis. Changes. Nuzzing.
England: America is a free spirit, he's constantly slipping out of my hands! The child is too independent! I can't deal with him! Australia is constantly causing the worst kind of trouble, he is the reason I'm known for my policemen! Wee little Sealand is constantly trying to be like his older brothers! He wants to grow up so fast, and he's so stubborn! You have America's quiet, well-behaved twin to take care of and that's IT. I would highly doubt we are on the same playing field!
France: Joo talk about ze playing field, but your football coach is Italian...
England: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT ON ME!
Austria: Will you two stop ARGUING?! *drops chibitalia into England's arms* You're such a good parent, then TAKE HIM! I've been trying to play the piano for the past. .. *voice drifts away as he storms off*
Spain: *shaking his head and carrying Romano* That's a bad dude...
France: Ah, has le petit Italian come to teach England ze football?
England: SHUT IT. Great, now we have how many children under our care? And we've already lost four.
Spain: They are bad men too...
Spain: *finally speaks up* I'm ashamed to call you guys amigos. *turns around and reveals Australia, America, Sealand, and Canada all clinging to Spain's hind legs.*
*England and France's jaws drop and Spain turns his head to smile brightly at them. They also notice a cute turtle perched on top of his head.*
Spain: My work here is done. Come along, Romano, Señor Tortuga.
Romano: I hate you.
England: … Well, at least his kid hates him too.
Sealand: We don't hate you!
America: Speak for yourself, little bro.
England: *pulls Sealand aside, squeezes him and strokes his hair* Now, don't you listen to America and Australia, my sweet, innocent young one. I'm superior, I'm the boss, and you love me! Also, France smells. *snaps his fingers in front of Sealand's face as if to wake him up from a trance* Got it?
Australia: You're weird, mate.
Spain: Agreed.