I hate him. I really, really do. And I try my best to avoid him. But then he did something I never expected. I mean we broke up months ago. Because he thought that while I was searching for my parents in Australia I was seeing somebody else.
So that just proves that Ronald Weasley is an idiot. How could I bloody be seeing somebody else if I had just spent the last year hunting down Voldemort with him and Harry?
And then it hits me. Harry. He thinks I was seeing Harry. What a dumbo. What an idiot! Harry's with Ginny, and he's like a brother to me. Nothing more. I don't see how he could possibly think that. Just because Harry helped me hunt down my parents and Ron stayed behind to comfort his family does not mean I love Harry. But apparently Ron thinks it does. That's why he broke up with me. And I can remember that day perfectly. It was Christmas Eve at the Burrow...
"Hermione can I talk to you?" Ron says nervously. I beam at him and follow him into the living room. This is it, he's going to tell me he loves me!
"Mione, I don't think we should see each other anymore," he mumbles as he shoves his hand into the pockets of his worn out jeans.
What? I wasn't expecting that. Who the hell does that idiot think he is anyway?
"What the hell Ronald?!" I yell at him. Seriously, what git breaks up with their girlfriend after she helps him and their other best friend defeat a crazy murderer/ dark wizard/ idiot man named Tom Riddle? It's unheard of!
"Well, I think you're seeing someone else. But don't let me get in your way. Nope, I'll just get on with life," Ron spits sarcastically. I just stand there gaping at him. I probably look like a crazy ex girlfriend already. Just think, in a few months I'll be stalking him to work and all that stuff that crazy ex girlfriends do. Which I wouldn't know obviously, seeing as I've never been a crazy ex girlfriend.
"What the- How the- Why the- I'm not even- You think- Huh?" I sputter stupidly. Ron looks half amused, and half confused at the same time.
"I have to go Hermione. I'm sorry," he leans in like he's about to kiss me, but then pulls away and walks out the door. And that's when I fell to the floor in tears.
So that's how dear Ronykins broke up with me. But that's old news now. That happened three months ago actually. But that's not the story I'm trying to tell. My story occurred a week ago...
RON'S POV
I was an idiot. Actually, I quite frequently am an idiot, so it's not a first, but disappointing nonetheless. So now here I sit at my kitchen counter listening to stupid Celestina Warbeck singing a stupid cauldron of stupid hot strong stupid love. How stupid.
"Ron we need to talk," Ginny hisses at me from across the room. She's sitting on the stupid couch reading a stupid letter that Harry stupid Potter sent her.
"What do you want to chat about now, Ginevra?" I growl remembering the last time she wanted to talk to me. That's when she told me she was buying me a dog. I didn't want a dog, but she thought I was lonely. So now I'm stuck with Snickers the Labradoodle. But actually I've grown fond of him.. what am I talking about? I can't even concentrate for one minute.
Ginny plops herself down on the counter so that she's facing me.
"I'm inviting Hermione over for dinner," she says softly. Where's that dog when I need to throw something?
"No you aren't," I snap at her. Ginny smacks me on the back on the head with the Daily Prophet, which had been resting on the counter beside her.
"You have to make up with her! Honestly you're just paranoid! She's not seeing Harry! I'm seeing Harry you wombat! And I find it insulting that you think he would cheat on me!" she screeches.
Then I get snacked again as Ginny proves her point.
"Your matchmaking efforts will be futile, like they always are, and I don't even want Hermione anymore. I'm seeing someone else now," I say. Okay that's a lie, but I need to make myself sound less pathetic. Ginny raises her eyebrows and smirks at me.
"Oh really?" she says, going through the motions.
"Yeah!" I say defensively. "Her name's, erm, Glenda," I finish lamely. I actually don't know any Glenda's but it's the first name that came to mind.
"Okay well then best of luck with 'Glenda'," Ginny sneers. And with that she hops off the counter, gets one last smack at my head, and leaves the room.
HERMIONE'S POV
I don't know why I agreed to this. It's a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. And I, being my lovely, brilliant self, never make bad decisions. Until now, of course.
So now I'm knocking on the door of the Burrow, and wondering how the heck Ginny convinced me to come. Percy answers the door, and grins at me. He's always been fond of me. I find him very annoying though.
"Hello Percy, how have you been?" I say brightly. Yup, that's a believable greeting. I should be an actress.
"Oh just spiffing Hermione! Why don't you come in?" he begins. Spiffing? Who says spiffing? I walk into the house anyway, even though I'm a tad creeped out by his comment.
"That's great Perce, um do you know where Ginny is?" I say in a subtle attempt to get away from Mr. Spiffy.
"Oh I do believe she's out back frolicking with the chickens," he says as he leaves me alone in the foyer. I can't help but notice he's acting strange. I mean Percy has always been strange, but 'spiffing' and 'frolicking' just prove the point even more. He really does nothing to help himself.
So I walk into the kitchen and out the back door to see Ginny screaming at a chicken. Sometimes there are just some things you hope you'll never have to witness, and this indeed tops them all. Because I am now watching my dear friend as she yells her head off a scared little chicken.
".... and then she tells you that knows your brother better than you! But he's my BROTHER, I think I know him better than Phlegm! But you don't have to worry about half Veela wombats do you? No you're just a chicken! Answer meeee!" Ginny screams at the poor thing. It makes a funny clucking noise and scurries away.
"I never liked you anyway," Ginny hisses after the moving poultry.
"Erm hello Gin," I say uncomfortably. She jumps and spins around to look at me.
"Urgh you heard that all didn't you?" she asks rubbing her temples. I nod sympathetically and she just shrugs in a 'What are you gunna do?' sorta way. It's funny how Ginny and I can have these kind of conversations. We just get over each others issues and live our lives.
"Oh I left my wand in my room. Darn. Hermione would you mind fetching it for me?" she asks. I roll my eyes. This is obviously a poor attempt to get me to run into Ron. I really don't feel like doing that. So I do the accio spell, silently in my head of course, and catch Ginny's wand in my free hand when it comes hurtling out the window. However Ginny mutters some swear word under her breath and I get the impression that she's going crazy. It all starts with yelling a chickens, and then muttering to yourself... Poor girl. I hand her her wand anyway (even though I'm not sure she's in the right mental state to actually use it) and she gives me a forced smile. It looks like a smirk. Maybe crazy people can't smile. But obviously I wouldn't know. I have never been a crazy person.
Just then Ron chooses the perfect moment to burst out the back door. A tiny little dog scurries out behind him and I wrack my brains but for the life of me cannot remember him ever mentioning that he wanted a dog. But I guess people change. And then they break up with their girlfriends. And then they buy dogs. That's life, I suppose.
"Er well I gotta go, thanks anyway Gin," I say. Ron looks upset and Ginny looks furious. I really don't care though, when I leave she can just go vent to the chickens again.
"No you won't be leaving damn it!" she snaps. I take a step back and nod my head in fear. If there's one thing Ginny's taught me it's that you NEVER mess with a Weasley girl.
So an hour later I find myself sitting at the kitchen table with Ron, Percy, and of course Ginny. Everyone else was at some Muggle lovers convention that Mr. Weasley had dragged them all to.
"Er, Percy it's a bit crowded in here, don't you think?" Ginny says. "Maybe we should go clean the attic for mum."
I'm not stupid. I know she's trying to leave me and Ron at the table by ourselves. However Percy goes along with it and soon I'm sitting at the table, thinking of something I can say to Ron.
"Mione, I want to apologize," he begins. "I was a right git, the perfect idiot, but I shouldn't have accused you of cheating. I have more faith in you than that love, believe me. I was just worried that you may want to move on."
Wow. I was not expecting that at all. And coming from Ron... it's touching. Seriously. I blink back tears.
"Oh Ron!" I exclaim happily as I lean in to fling my arms around him. However, he beats me to it, and then he kisses me. And everything feels right.
And it's as if his kiss is a panacea to all the pain I've ever gone through. And I can list a myriad of reasons why I would be willing to forgive him. So I do.
1 YEAR LATER
"Oh and the napkins! I want the checkered ones! No no no, I told you Ginny, NO stripes!" I growl at my bridesmaid. Ginny smiles and lets out a small little laugh.
"Mione thank God this wedding is almost here. Ron's lucky and all, but you're driving me bonkers!" she jokes as she scribbles down 'checkered napkins' in her wedding planning notebook.
"Yeah well thanks for all the help. We'll sort out the rest tomorrow Gin, but I have to go meet my mum for tea," I say as I gather my stuff to leave. And as I'm walking towards the front door I swear I can hear Ginny out in the back, screaming about the wedding to a chicken. But I guess some things never change.