A not so perfect sick day.
[Shinra HQ]
Rufus: Well I guess that concludes our meeting. Now if you'll excuse me I have to play cards with Sephiroth and Hojo.
Palmer: Mr. President! Mr. President!
Rufus: Palmer this better not be about why we have a dounut shortage cause I don't give a crap.
Palmer: [Lowers his hand]
Rufus: Bye.
[Rufus leaves]
Heiddeger: Let's play tetherball.
Shinra Executives: YEAH!!!!!!
[North cave]
Sephiroth: [opens up a package] At last! My very own copy of the first Telletubbies tape.
Fanfic readers: .............
Rufus: What the hell? Sephiroth what the hell happened to you?
Sephiroth: Aeris told me I was too violent so....
Rufus: Stop seeing Aeris.
Sephiroth: No.
Rufus: C'mon it's for your own good.
Sephiroth: Bite me.
Rufus: Grrr.....anyway wanna go see Reno he's a little sick.
[Hospital]
Reno: [Coughs] Stupid Kain. Those FF4 charachters have bad diseases.....
Elena: Just drink your medicine. [Crams a whole bottle of Pepto-bismal down Reno's throat.]
Reno: Ugh....this stuff tastes like.......old people.
Rude: Hey Reno you have some visitors!
Sephiroth: [Gives Reno a fruit basket]
Rufus: [Hands Reno a get well soon card]
Reno: Thanks guy's is anyone else here?
Rufus: Yeah. [The door busts down and every person in every Final Fantasy game is there]
Ex-Death: I heard you were sick. I rushed over a soon as possible.
Cecil: Oh thank god Reno's okay......
Elena: Just a sec. He need's the thermometer.....in the you know where....
Reno: NO OH GOD!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!!!!
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]
Tifa: [Holding thier son Zack from the last story] Cloud you don't look so good.
Cloud: [Coughs] I'm fine.
Tifa: I'll go get the doctor....
Cloud: No don't leave!!!!
Tifa: I'll have Cid look after Zack.
Cloud: Good. Now he can learn some new words....
Tifa: What?
Cloud: [Looks up] NOTHING!
Tifa: [Gives a suspicous glance and carries Zack out of the house]
[Cid's house]
Tifa: Now he need's his vitamins,his....
Cid: Yeah,yeah I know how to take care of kids.
Tifa: all right. Bye. [Leaves]
Cid: Say hi to uncy Cid Zack Strife. [Zack bites Cid on the nose and Cid runs around screaming]
Shera: Captain?
Cid: &&^*%$^&$*& LITTLE KID!!!! STUPID PIECE OF S*IT BRAT!!!!
Shera: Oh Cloud and Tifa's baby,how cute. [she holds Zack and Zack dosen't harm her]
Cid: What the hell? He's being nice to you!
Shera: Maybe he just likes me more.
Cid: [Put's a bandaid on his nose]
[Hospital]
Cloud: Reno? You got the disease too?
Reno: Yeah:
Voice: We got it too.....
Cloud: Rufus,Sephiroth and Hojo?
Hojo: Stupid Kain. He ate one of those McDOnalds hamburgers.
Rufus: Yeah.....We told him not to eat the burger with the green spots BUT NO........
Sephiroth: [Is reading a RPG order catalog in bed] Damn if I weren't sick I'd BUY that emerald WEAPON look alike....
Aeris: [Holding a flower basket] Hi Sephy....
Sephiroth: [Turns scarlet] Hi....Aeris. [Aeris kisses Sephiroth on the head and Sephiroth nearly faints]
Yuffie: Hi Reno!
Reno: Yuffie.....[Blushes]
Hojo: What about me? [Lucretia comes in] Hi honey! [Lucretia whacks Hojo on the head with a wooden chair] OW!!!!!
Lucretia: Asshole. [Walks out]
Cloud: Looks painful....
Voice: Dr. Kefka to see the sick patients.
All: Dr.KEFKA????
Kefka: Wahahahahhahahahahaha I'm back. And I got a medical degree!
Sephiroth: Oh no......
Kefka: [Looks at Sephiroth] You can be the first one to get this horrfying painful shot in thier buttcheeks. Bend over.
Sephiroth: Make me.
Kefka: [Starts singing]
Sephiroth: STOP! I'LL DO IT!!!!!
[Cloud&Tifa's villa]
Tifa: I'm going to go visit Cloud.....[Sephiroth's scream is heard in the background] Damn Birds.........
[Hospital]
Kefka: Now my pretties we're going to test you reflexes with the Doctor's Hammer.
Cloud: That dosen't sound so painful....
Kefka: [Picks up sledge hammer] Oh it dosen't?
Cloud: Good God!!!!
Tifa: Hi honey. Hello doctor....Kefka.
Kefka: Hi I just need to check your husbands reflexes.
Aeris: Go and do it to Sephiroth too doctor.
Cloud: Tifa help....
Tifa: The doctor knows what's best dear. Even if he is the main villan of FF6 and he poisioned a whole village.
Kefka: [Picks up a cup of water what is purple and bubbling] Wanna sip Hojo?
Hojo: NO!
Kefka: [Slams the Sledgehammer on Cloud's leg] Wahahhahahahahahaha marvolus PAIN!
Cloud: Ow.....
Nurse: Hey this man is no doctor!
Reno: I can see that!
Surgon: GET HIM!
Kefka: Bolt3! [Lightning hits the doctors]
Tifa: [Kicks Kefka in the nut's]
Kefka: OWIE!!!!!!
[Cid's house]
Cid: [Is on crutches and a full body cast]
Shera: Goochie Goochie goo. [Zack laughs]
Cid: Stupid kid......
[Hospital]
[Reno Cloud and the others are cured with Kefka in a hospital bed]
Reno: Okay how did you come back this time?
Kefka: I'll never tell. CURE3! [Kefka is cured and leaps up]
Locke: Stop Kefka.
Seifer: Yeah surrender.
Kefka grrrrr....... I can take you all down.
Cecil: But not me.....
Terra: Or me....
Ex-Death: Or me.....
Kefka: Oh yeah! I got Pepto-Bismal and I know how to use it!!!!!
[Everyone gasps]
Yuffie: N-not pepto-bismal
Ex-Death: It tastes like crap and it just makes you feel worse.....
Kefka: Wahahahahhahahahahahhhahhahahaha.......
Heiddeger: Gyahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!! [Author boots him to another fanfic]
Kefka: Now what was I going to do.......Ah yes kill you!
[5 minuites later]
[Everyone is tied up over a huge vat of Pepto-Bismal]
Kefka: Once I pull the switch......
Cid: [Bursts in] DAMN KID!!!
[Zack bites onto Kefka's arm and clings there]
Cloud: [Sniffs] That's my boy......
Kefka: Ow get it off! Get it off!!! Not down there! [Zack bites Kefka in the special spot] OW!!!!!
Tifa: Sorry he just got his teeth and he's still teething.
Kefka: Ow! OW! OW!!!!!!! [Falls out the window]
Cloud: Is he gone for sure?
[Kefka arises on a broomstick]
Kefka: [Writes: Surrender Cloud while on the broomstick] Wahahahhahahahahahaha [A plane hit's him] Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Tifa: What a weird ending.
Zack: Gah...gah....
Cloud: He's going to say his first word......
Zack: Fu,Fu,Fu-
[Outside the hospital]
[A bunch of Pidegeons fly off the roof]
Janitor: Wow weeeee WHAT PROFANITY!
[Hospital]
[Everyone looks at Cid]
Cid: There is no evidince I taught him that word! [Bangs his foot on the bed] OW SH*T! THAT %&*% HURT STUPID *&(%*%&%&*$*$ I AUGHTTA ^&%(&&%*&%&%^%$^%#%%^&$*&$&&$^$$$^##$ YOU UP!
Cloud: That's our silly Cid! [Everyone laughs]
Sephiroth: Hahhahahhahahahahahha......I don't get it.
Aeris: C'mon Sephy let's go home and.....heeeeheeeeheeee
Sephiroth: YES!
Elena: Hey Rufus how about we.....make a little lovin?
Rufus: HORRAY!
Tifa: Cloud you know the routine!
[Yuffie is already dragging Reno out the door]
Hojo: No lovin for porfesser Hojo?
[Lucretia comes in with a chainsaw]
Hojo: AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
THE END
HOPE YOU LIKED IT! IF YOU ASK FOR MORE YOU WILL GET MORE
[Epilouge]
Kefka: Where...am I......
Voice: Hello old friend...
Kefka: V-Vormav and Izlude.
Izlude: Daddy! He's the one who bewat me up!!!
Vormav: Oh Saint Ajora smite this one....[Ultima the Perfect body comes down and beats the living crap out of Kefka]
Kefka: Not the face! Not the Face! Want Pepto-bismal? [Get's hit harder] OWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!