This is a disclaimer that is indicating I do not own rights to Sue Sylvester or anything associated with her or her association with Glee. These are fictional reenactments of topics I assume she would discuss on her portion of the nightly news broadcast. These are not personal opinions of mine, they are completing generated for comical purposes. So laugh, in this economy it's the only thing that's free!
Wheelchair Ramps Are De-Beautifying the Country By: Sue Sylvester
"I believe the degradation of our prodigious country lay soling in the laps of paraplegics and their only source of mobility. Wheelchair ramps are popping up all over the country for what may seem like a convenient opportunity to attract more business. Well I'm here to tell that is not the case! Wheelchair ramps, once used to allow monstrosities in wheelchairs to assimilate into normal society, now are being used to cause morbid obesity, less economic stimulation and the increasing demand for more fabric to make larger sweat suits for you fatties. Wheelchair ramps are causing massive genocides on the bovine population, for reasons of producing steaks and bigger leather jackets for the rotund. Fabric weavers around the world are working overtime to produce more fabric for you to be able to let out and expand your current wardrobe. Small Asian children in sweatshops are working overtime to produce larger clothes for those choosing to walk up a ramp and not participate as an American and take the stairs, which is our emancipated right. You remember every time you take a step onto a wheelchair ramp you are not only allowing your thighs to spread wider, you are also causing those children to work harder to make your extended sized jeans which could possibly be killing them. So you are not only killing valuable members of the worlds work force, you are also a terrorist for not partaking in your patriotic right of using the stairs and for that you must be punished. And that's how Sue C's it!"
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