How X-Men Eat A Reeses Peanut Butter Cup
This is part 4 of my insane fanfic.
Be nice.
X-Men belong to marvel.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
The Airplane Ride
And so the plane took off from New York. The X-Men are on their way to California, but something is about to go wrong……….
Passenger Room 1
Storm: What I tell ya!! We got in just like I said.
Cyclops: You also scared everyone else on the plane!
Bobby: (sarcastically) Thanks Storm. I won't be able to flirt with any cute girls here.
Rogue: BOBBY!!! L
Bobby: Just kidding.J
Storm: Behave children.
(Behind storm is a snoring woman)
Mystery Fat Woman: (behind Storm) Hey, SHADDUP!!! People are trying to sleep here!
Storm: Sorry, geez.
Jean: ……………I feel his presence. I can't tell where he is.……………but he's on this plane.
Rogue: Give it up Jean. Toad is dead.
Cyclops: If he were alive…I'd ask him where he gets his hair gel.
Everyone: EWWWWW!!!
Mystery Fat Woman: What did I say!!! WHAT DID I SAY!!!
(X-Men stare at fat women with fear in their eyes)
Mystery Fat Woman: I SAID SHUT-UP!!!
Bobby: Why don't you shove your words up your ass FAT WHORE!!!
WHACKKK!!!
(Mystery fat woman hits Bobby with a purse full of food. Her snacks scatter everywhere)
Everyone: EWWWWW!!!
(A piece of fried chicken hits storm on the head)
Storm: OWWW!!!
(Everyone snickers)
Storm: (Angrily) I'm going to the lady's room!
Wolverine: Ya mean the crapper?
SMACKKK!!!
(Storm slaps Wolverine)
Jean: I'd thought for sure she'd use my rabbit foot thingy.
Storm: Be right back.
Cyclops: I'll kill Xavier for this. How could he make us go to California on coach seats with these disgusting, smelly, low-class people!!!
(All passengers including the X-Men look at Cyclops)
Cyclops: Um…………I meant that in a good way?
Mystery Fat Women: Let's get him!!!
(Passengers get up from seat and start beating up Cyclops)
Cyclops: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(He screams in pain and agony)
SMACKKK WHACKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Bobby revives)
Bobby: (dizzily) Where's our luggage?
Jean: It's right……………………………here.
Wolverine: What's wrong?
Jean: This isn't our luggage.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Passenger Room 2
Cherry: Man, I'd thought for sure we'd miss the flight.
Sabretooth: Man, (snickers) that was funny the way Toad had to jump to get in.
Toad: It was not. Besides, it's your fault. You made me carry the luggage.
Mystique: So……….where's our luggage?
Toad: It's right………..here.
(Toad's eyes widen)
Mystique: Something wrong Swamp boy?
Toad: No…nothing.
Mystique: I'm gonna get something to eat.
Toad: GOOD GO!!!
Sabretooth: I gotta go with Mystique…and make sure she doesn't get fat.
WHACKKKK!!! (Mystique hits Sabretooth on the side with Toad's metal bar)
Sabretooth: SHHHIIITTTT!!! (Grabs his side in pain)
Toad: So get going.
(Mystique and Sabretooth give Toad a weird look than get up and walk away)
Cherry: Ok, what's wrong?
Toad: Nuthing. Why don't you go with them?
Cherry: You can fool them, but you can't fool me!
Toad: No really, everything's normal.
Cherry: (Angrily) One, you never let Mystique get away with insults Swamp boy, two, you never use the word normal, three, you'd never miss the chance to make fun of Sabretooth, and four, you like being with me. (Toad blushes)
Toad: The luggage……… This isn't our luggage.
Cherry: WHAT!!! I had a lot of stuff in my suitcase. If you don't find me my luggage I will kill you!!!
Toad: See, that's why I can't tell Mystique or Sabretooth about the luggage. THEY'LL KILL ME!!!
Cherry: Well you deserve it!!! HOW THE HELL COULD YOU LOOSE OUR LUGGAGE!!!
Toad: I don't know.
(Dark negative energy starts to flow around Cherry)
Cherry: MURDER! I will kill you!
(Toad begins to whimper, and then he finally cries)
Cherry: Quit crying ya wimp!!!
(Toad makes an effort to stop)
Cherry: Pull yourself together man!
SMACK!
(Cherry slaps Toad twice!)
(Toad's face is completely red)
Cherry: (Sigh) Cure! (Toad's face heals)
Toad: (Angrily) OWWW SHITTTT! That hurt like hell! Are you going to chastise me like Magneto does?
Cherry: (Thinks) Wow, he knows what chastise means? I guess that means he is not a retard like everyone said. (sigh) I don't make guys I like miserable. (Toad blusher even more) don't worry. I know what it's like to screw up.
Cherry: (Sigh)
Toad: Are you going to have a flashback?
Cherry: (Dramatically) Not till the final part of this crazy saga.
Toad: Oh.
(Toad and Cherry split up and go around asking people for their missing luggage)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Somewhere on the plane
Toad: Excuse me miss, did you happen to see a green, reptilian suitcase.
Mystery Lady: NO! I didn't see a reptilian suitcase! How dare you use animal products, you, you, you monster!
Toad: Well s'cuse me you fat animal freak!
Animal Freak: FAT?! I'm not fat! How dare you!
WHACKKKK!
(Fat Animal Freak hits Toad really hard on his spine with a karate chop!)
Toad: OWWWWWWW!!! My spine!
Animal Freak: Ha!
(Toad crawls back to passenger room 2)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Passenger seats 2
Jean: What's taking Storm so long?
Wolverine: It's the crapper, she's suppose to be crapping at least an hour.
(Cyclops revives from the floor)
Cyclops: (High-pitched voice) Wolverine!!! Don't be so disgusting!!!
Wolverine: Shut-up DICK!
Cyclops: OPTIC BLAS///
Jean: If you fire so much as one optic blast on this plane I will///
WHOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
(Everyone turns to face Bobby)
Bobby: Whoops!!! (Jingle bells theme start playing in the back round)
Everyone: BOBBY!!!
(A fat gay man in a dress is completely frozen, along with little cockroaches on his face)
Bobby: My bad!
Jean: (Looks at cockroaches) I think I'm going to throw up.
(Jean runs to the crapper, I mean restroom ^-^)
Rogue: (Looks at the luggage Jean was carrying) I wonder what's inside the suitcases?
Bobby: (Exited look on his face) Let's open them!
Cyclops: Now children, it doesn't belong to us. Let's just leave it alo///
Wolverine: (Dumps a brown suitcase on Scott) Shut-up Cyke and start opening.
(Everyone opens suitcases)
Cyclops: What? There's nothing but meat and 4 steaks in this suitcase.
Rogue: Wow, this pink one has red, blue and green marbles. Wow! Playgirl porno!
Cyclops and Wolverine: Don't look at the porno!
Bobby: (Looks at green suitcase) There are Darth Maul action figures in this one. EWW, everything is sticky! Wow, look at these glasses!
Rogue: Give me that!
(Rogue puts on glasses)
Rogue: (Moronically happy) Look at me everyone.
(Cyclops takes a picture. Everyone laughs and gives her thumbs up)
Rogue: Guys I feel dizzy.
Bobby: Take off the glasses. That monstrosity on your face is going too mess your lovely brown eyes.
Rogue: Bobby you do care about me. (Rogue faints from being dizzy)
Wolverine: Whoa!!!
Cyclops and Bobby: What?
Wolverine: There's nothing but guns in this one…and Slim Fast shakes.
(They stare at the blue suitcase)
(Rogue recovers and puts the glasses back into the green suitcase)
Cyclops: If someone sees us we are screwed again. Everyone close those suitcases.
(Everyone does)
(Suddenly a girl with light pink hair comes close to them)
Cherry: That's my suitcase!
Rogue: What?
Cherry: You found my luggage.
(X-Men sigh in relief)
Cherry: My porno, my sweet and heavenly porno! Here's your luggage.
(Cherry dumps X-Men's suitcases on Wolverine)
Bobby: Hi, my name is Bobby, you wanna go out with me?
Rogue: Bobby!!!
Bobby: (Annoyed) What?
(Rogue touches bobby and absorbs his powers and personality)
Bobby: (Sleepy) Rogue cut it out. (Bobby passes out)
(Rogue turns to face Cherry)
Rogue: So, you wanna go out with me.
WHOOSH (Rogue makes ice roses and hands them to Cherry)
Cherry: I'm sorry. I'm not a lesbian.
Rogue: I'm not a lesbian! I'm a boy, cutie!
Wolverine: Don't pay any attention to her. She's just a little crazy.
Cherry: Um, okay…See ya. (Cherry grabs her suitcases and walks away slowly from the group, than runs like mad)
Rogue: She's cute.
(Bobby revives)
Bobby: You know Rogue you are starting to get on my nerves!
Rogue: Shove it up your ass Popsicle boy!
WHACK!
(Bobby hits Rogue one the head with the rabbit foot thingy)
Wolverine/Cyclops: That's gotta hurt.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
Passenger Room 2
(Cherry jumps on Toad. They both fall over, suitcases and everything.)
Toad: OHYYYY! My spine!
Cherry: I've found them!
Toad: You found the suitcases?
Cherry: Yeah!!!
Toad: Whoopee! Now I'm not going to die!
(Mystique and Sabretooth return)
Mystique/Sabretooth: What's going on?
Toad/Cherry: (On floor) Nothing!
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
CRASH!!!
Everything goes black!
Attendant: Passengers something's wrong with the lights so get your flashlights out.
(Jean goes into the girl's restroom)
Jean: What's that smell!
Storm: Umm, some girl just ate burritos.
Jean: My god Storm! Use wind powers to blow the stink away!
Storm: My power doesn't work in here! Unless you want me to make a hole on the plane!
Jean: I can't see damn it!
(Jean and Storm try to exhale)
Jean: (Faintly) Storm…do something.
(Jean and Storm faint from the horrible smell)
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Passenger Room 2
Toad: I'm telling you Cherry. If you hold a steak in front of his face he'll tell you all his sexual fantasies!
Cherry: Umm? Okay! Let's do it! (Holds a flashlight in front of Toad)
(Toad takes a piece of steak out of Sabretooth's luggage)
Cherry: Woo! This is gonna be fun.
(Toad holds the piece of steak in front of Sabretooth's face)
Sabretooth: (Sleep talking) Mommmy. Oh mommy. Yeah…go Mystique. Get naked baby…wooo! Turn into a cowgirl!
(Toad and Cherry snicker)
(A very powerful flashlight came on)
Mystery…No it's Fat Jabba from Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo: Steak! Did you say STEAK!!!
Cherry: Umm, yeah.
Jabba: Give me that steak!
Cherry/Toad: CRAPPPP!
(Too late. Jabba lands on Toad and Cherry)
Attendant: We are now landing in Hollywood! Good grief.
Cherry/Toad: Ouch!
(Ice roses pop out of Cherry's tech vest from the pressure of Jabba's weight.)
Toad: (Jealous) Where you get those?!
Cherry: It was a gift from…a lesbian woman. Sort of.
Toad: (Relief) Oh.
Jabba: Keep it down! I'm trying to eat my steak!
(Alex suddenly appears)
Alex: Hello sir. It's nice to see you again.
Toad: Hi Alex, um could you help us out?
Alex: Sure! Hey, you're hanging out with a girl.
Toad: So what? Help me out!
Alex: No way man. You've got cooties! Frog guy and pink girl sitting in a tree///
Toad: SHADDAPP!
Alex: K I S S I N G! First comes love than comes marriage. Than comes Frog guy with a baby carriage!
(Alex runs out of sight)
Cherry: Damn it!
Toad/Cherry: Someone help!
Jabba: (Looks at Toad who is still trapped in her butt) I'm not just some hot babe with big tits. Wanna go out with me frogman?
Toad: NOOOOOOO!
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
Being under someone's butt has got to hurt!
I mean no disrespect to fat people or gay people!
Please Review!