In The Arms Of Your Angel, an eastenders fanfic

In the arms of an Angel

It was Karaoke Night at the Vic. Syed looked across the room and saw Christian sat with Jane, Roxy and Lucy. He had silent tears streaming down his face. Syed longed to go and wrap his arms around the older man and tell him that he would tell everyone everything as long as he would be there when he had. But he couldn't. His family meant too much to him to risk. That's what their last argument had been about.

----------------------------Flashback---------------------------------

"You obviously don't care!"
"Christian you know that's not true!! I love you!"
"You obviously don't otherwise you wouldn't care what anyone else thought about you. I guess I'm just not important enough."
"Christian!!"
"Just go Syed...And don't come back...I won't be your dirty little secret...I've done that bit and I got over it. I cared enough to be true to myself and everyone around me."
"Christian!!!!!"
"JUST LEAVE!!!"
Syed nodded, identical tears streaming down their faces. He pressed his lips to Christians one last time, his heart breaking when Christian pulled away.
"I love you Syed, but it hurts too much." Syed turned and left Christians flat.

--------------------------Flashback------------------------------------

You spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always one reason,
To feel not good enough
And It's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh, beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
Let me be empty
Oh, weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

Christian had stepped up to the microphone and had started gently singing into it. It was open mic night at the Vic and he had decided that he may as well get Roxy off his back and make a point all in one go. Syed, Amira, Zainab, Masood and Tamwar were sat in the corner of the Vic, talking gently amongst themselves, Syed just didn't look interested. His head had shot up when he heard Christian's soft tone singing the words and he had put his head down soon after so his family couldn't see the tears that had sprung up at the corner of his eyes. This song was special to them. As he lifted his head, his gaze locked with Christians and he could see the older man singing this to him gently as he tried to fall asleep. He gazed intently into Christians eyes, letting the words the older man was singing wash over him. He began singing the words under his breath, causing Christian to smile shyly under the spotlight. Bringing a fantasy to Syed's mind of his and Christian's time together.
"Babe? Syed? Are you okay?" Amira's voice cut through his fantasy. He turned to her.
"What's up?"
"Your Mum's tired...She's going to head home." Syed nodded impatiently and turned back to Christian.

In the arms of the angels
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Amira, Zainab, Masood and Tamwar began to stand. It wasn't until they had reached the door to the Vic that Syed wasn't with them. He was still watching Christian intently.
"Syed!?!" His head span from Christian to his wife.
"We're going." Syed nodded his head and stood to leave. As he reached the door he stopped, Christian had stopped singing. Roxy's voice came through the speakers.
"Anyone want to make this a duet? Come one there's gotta be someone who knows this song?." Everyone in the Vic started shaking their head. Sub-consciously, Syed raised his hand. Roxy nodded eagerly at him and handed him the mic she had been speaking through. As he caught hold of the mic the rest of his family re-entered the Vic. He started slowly making his way over to Christian, singing smoothly as he made his way to the stage.

So tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
that you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escape one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Or this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees

Syed reached the stage in time to sing the second chorus with Christian.

Once they had finished the chorus Christian signalled Roxy to pause the track. She did it, with a slight look of confusion on his face. He nodded to Syed and her expression changed from confusion to shock. Christian leant over to Syed and whispered in his ear.
"It's all you now Sy...Here's the part where you make a choice." Syed looked at Amira and his family, his mum was shaking her head and Amira had a confused look on her face, whereas his Dad and Tamwar were nodding. He caught his Dad's eye.
"You love him, don't throw that away." His father mouthed to him. Shock registered in Syed's features, his Dad knew? He nodded and turned to Christian. He pulled his gaze up to meet Christians green eyes, which were sparkling with tears. Syed lifted the mic to his mouth.
"I'm sorry." Christian's eyes darkened and his gaze dropped to the ground. He nodded and dropped his mic. Syed caught it just before it hit the floor.
"I am so sorry Amira; I can't lie to you any more." Christian's head shot up, tears lighting up his eyes as the sparkle in them shone. Jane, Lucy and Roxy beamed. Amira stepped forward.
"Syed, what do you mean, what are you apologising for?"
"For lying to you...I don't love you." He turned to face Christian. "I love him."
Gasps flitted across the Vic as Syed dropped the microphones he was holding and threw himself at Christian, pressing their lips together, running his hands through Christian's hair as Christian pushed him against the wall of the stage. Amira sobbed and ran out of the Vic. Syed pulled away from Christian and looked over to his family. His Dad and Tamwar looked content, his Mum had a look of disgust on her face and Amira had already left. Syed shrugged and picked up his microphone.

You're in the arms of your angel
May you find some comfort here

"Feel better Sy?" Syed wrapped his arms around Christian and nodded. He knew that whatever happened, as long as he had his angel with him, he could survive anything.