A Single Reality
A white room, men standing around me, each wearing a white lab coat. They smile brightly, but I don't know if they're real. Admitting they're real would mean admitting my family and my friends are fake. These men say they're trying to help me, but I don't believe them. My parents should be the ones helping me, not strangers. These men say my family is fake, that they, themselves are the real ones. They tell me this over and over, but it's not right here. Not right.
I tell them so and they respond with, "Why is it so wrong? Is it because it's the truth? Do you prefer the dream to reality? Have you been caught in the lies?"
They say that they can help. Say that they can free me from the illusion. They say it's better, easier without the confliction, and that the solution is simple. If it's true I want to know. I want to know how to make the pain of having everything and then nothing stop. I just want it to stop.
"Kill the fakes," they whisper. "Cut all ties to the other world. You must stop it yourself. Stop the corruption with your power. Then you'll be free. The pain will go away. You'll be free to move on. That's what you want right?"
No. I don't want to kill anyone. Sacrificing others for one's own freedom is wrong. This world is wrong. It's fake! I finally know now. This is the fake world! The wrong world! The evil world! The world that is black. Black as death and pain. And lies. Never to be white. Never to be real.
Bam! Crash! I bolted awake in a cold sweat. I heard voices calling my name. I looked round the room and saw the familiar faces of my parents.
"Mom? Dad? What's going on?" Why were they in my room? Is everything okay?
"You were screaming," Dad said. "We couldn't wake you up until now." His face and that of my mother's were contorted into expressions of worry and concern.
When he mentioned screaming I remembered. The white room, the doctors, the pain, everything. I told my parents it was merely a dream. They left me to sleep reassuring me that should I need anything I just had to call for them. I lay back down but did not close my eyes. I stared blankly at the ceiling of my room. The sounds of the storm outside my window lulled me into a dreamless sleep.
The next two weeks flew by in a whirlwind of laughter and smiles. I hung out with my friends, went to dinner with my parents, and spent time with my relatives at a family gathering. The sun shone and all seemed right with the world. That innocent peace was short lived.
My perfect world was once again ripped away from me. Lulled to sleep by the sounds if a storm, I had no dreams that night just like any other. Until...
Bam! Bam!
"Wake up my dear. Time to leave the dream world. You can't sleep forever," sounded the falsely sweet voice. Just like that, I was back in the white room, with the doctors huddled around me. And again, I had nothing.
"Dream world?" I asked haughtily. "This is the dream world. You are the fakes. Any minute now I'll wake up and you'll be replaced by my friends and my family. The wondrous warmth I feel in their presence will return and once more you will all fade. Reality will once again take me back to my family. Where I belong! You don't exist in my world and you shouldn't either! The warmth of reality and love will always prevail. This world is so wrong because the other is so perfect. There are no lies and no deception. No one hides behind the mask of innocent aid. You are only pretending to help me! You are deception itself."
They are surprised by my words. It's written on their faces. But why are they surprised? Are they surprised that I discovered the truth?
"If that is what you truly believe, let me ask you a question." I looked to the one who spoke. "If we are not real, how do you know they are real?"
"That's easy," I say. "I know they love me and each other. They would never hurt anyone. You on the other hand, are too quick to use pain and deception for your own purposes." they flinch at that, guilt shadowing their faces.
"I believe that perhaps they are not as loving as they may seem." He looked away. "I'm sorry." he whispered.
Bam!
I opened my eyes and I was greeted by the sight of my room. Lightning flashed across the walls. I remember what the doctor had said and jumped out of my bed. Dashing down the hallway towards my parent's bedroom, I saw a crack in the door. Light poured out, silhouetting my father standing over my mother.
I took a hesitant step forward. Peering through the crack in the door I clearly saw my mother and my father. What I saw horrified me.
My father had never raised his voice against my mother, much less his hand. The thought of him hurting my mother was...unthinkable. My mother was lying curled up on the floor as my father looked down at her. She was crying, tears streaming down her bruised cheeks.
As I watched my father began to yell and curse
and kick at my mother's crumpled form.
I blinked back the tears in my eyes and blindly ran down the hallway. I fell against the wall and a loud crash sounded throughout the entire house reverberating down my spine.
I blinked, opening my eyes to a familiar white room. I heard the doctor's voices and kept my eyes closed.
"-her. If we don't find a way to help, she'll be lost! These hallucinations are her memories! Surely you've realized! We'll fail if she remembers! She'll be mentally destroyed all over again...we have to stop it." said a disembodied voice.
"You think I haven't realized? I don't want to see her like that again. But we can't stop it...her memories are being forced to the surface. It's horrible what happened to her, and I don't want her to ever remember that. No one should ever go throughout that." sadness seeped into his words.
No. Wrong. This can't be right. This isn't how it works! They are not helping me! They want me to crack! Bam! No! This is wrong too! That blood is not my mother's! She'll get up any second! She will! I know it! Bam!
"She remembered her mother's death. I don't think we'll be able to help her forget again."
No! Stop! I don't want your help! Bam! Father! No! I don't to see that blood anymore!
Wrong. This isn't right. If I know of two worlds, then one is black and one is white. One is good, one is evil. One is fake, and one is real. Black and white. If the black world does good, white is mixed in creating grey. And if the white word does bad, then black is mixed in creating grey. Two grey worlds just won't do. One is good and one is evil. If the good world does wrong, it's not so good. If the evil world does right, it's not so bad. Now, we can't have that can we? If two worlds blur the lines, then BOTH will be destroyed!
Hee hee! What to do, what to do? Hm. Ah! I know what I will do! I'll bind them up with thick thick rope. Around their wrists and around their throats! Then I'll make them sleep sleep sleep. A quiet sleep so they will not weep! And when that job has been neatly done, I'll count down from three to one! When I reach one I'll reach for the nozzle. I'll open it up and release the gas. That noxious gas that's sure to kill them. Kill them kill them kill them.
I like that plan! Yes yes that will surely work!
Tie them up! with lots of rope. Bam! Tight it tight around their throats. Bam! Make them sleep. Bam! So they won't weep. Bam! Then let them breathe in the gas! Bam!
Now the job is done. Although, I fear, I am undone. My breath has become labored. My vision is blurring. No more can I see the world. I fear the gas has done us all in. Heh, maybe, just maybe, I was wro-
To us the world is different. As we are to the world.
The world is just an illusion. Always trying to change you.