"All or nothing Rachel," Ivy whispered. "I won't touch you again. It is your choice."
Rachel sat up in bed with a gasp and turned her head to face the door. Right across the hall was Ivy, her best friend, business partner and the star of her darkest dreams.
"Urrrg." Rachel threw herself back against her pillow with a groan and flung her arm across her eyes. "What am I going to do," she whispered to herself, "I love her as more than a friend, more than I should as my best friend, but I've never thought about any other woman in that way.."
Sighing to herself, Rachel rolled on her side to face the door and Ivy in her room across the hall. She knew that Ivy wanted her as a lover and partner for all time. Ivy, Ivy, Ivy. With her gray silk voice, beautiful hair and dark enchanting eyes.
And her teeth, Rachel thought with a shiver. Can't forget those teeth. Slowly Rachel raised her hand to draw her finger down the scar that Ivy had given her the last time they had tried to find a blood balance. It had almost worked, until Rachel had a memory of Kisten's killer.
Pulling her hand away from her neck, Rachel decided to try to be reasonable and lay the facts out. Did she love Ivy? Yes, more than anyone else, including Jenks. Ok, could she picture her life without Ivy in it? No. In fact, when she thought she had lost both Ivy and Jenks, she almost took her own life.
Alright, next: did she find Ivy attractive. Well sure, duh. She always noticed who beautiful Ivy looked no matter what she was in; her work leathers, in her robe first thing in the morning with her hair all mussed or getting ready to go out on a date.
Rachel sucked in her breath. On a date. With someone else. Just what was that feeling in her stomach? Was she jealous? No, she wanted Ivy to be happy right? Right? Then why did the thought of Ivy with someone else cause a drop in her middle?
Rolling onto her stomach, Rachel punched her pillow into a more comfortable position before snuggling into it. She drew in a deep breath and caught a whiff of Ivy's sent. Incense. Closing her eyes, Rachel thought about all her past relationships in comparison to her feeling for Ivy.
Nick. Well, Ivy had him pegged pretty early on, and Rache had to agree with her. Kisten, there was that same pang in her middle with thinking of the loss of Kist. Nope not quite ready to deal with that yet. Marshall, Marshall was a good friend and a power pull doesn't a relationship make. Pierce. Yes, Pierce had a good hold on her, but is he actually good for her? Hmmm.
The only one that even came close was Kisten. God, she missed Kisten and knew that Ivy did too. But they had both moved on. Rachel to Pierce, and Ivy to Glenn. Did Ivy love Glenn? Had it gone that far? Did she love Pierce. Maybe, Rachel knew that she cared for Pierce and that Ivy cared for Glenn. But could it go any further? "I just don't know," Rachel whispered. "Ivy, I'm so confused."
Frustrated with herself, Rachel got up to go to the bathroom. After flushing, she washed her hands and looked at herself in the mirror. Grumbling, she leaned back over and washed her face and for good measure, brushed her teeth.
Slowly heading back to her bedroom, Rachel paused across from Ivy's door. She shuffled her feet backwards until she was leaning against the wall. Tapping her fingers against the wall she muttered, "Screw it. There's only one way to find out, right?"
Pushing off the wall, Rachel headed for Ivy's door.