DISCLAIMER: I own no rights to Cirque du freak or any of the characters.

A/N: This story is in Darren's POV. The Italics are present and the normal text is flashback and the flashback is during the third book.

SUMMARY: What if he couldn't stop drinking her blood?

TITLE: Beautiful nightmare

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Arriving at my tent Crepsley stood outside and waited for the young vampire. As the door opened I peered out and grinned at him before disappearing inside for a moment and closing the door behind me.

"Be right out just a minute!" I shouted at the frustrated knocks at the door. "Right gees calm down grandpa." Mr Crepsley hated it when I called him that but said nothing to keep the peace.

"Do you still have the nightmares?" He asked me in wonder.

"Yep, every night continuously, they never stop." My voice was weaker than usual and quieter too.

"Shall we go and feed? I am a little peckish." I looked at him in exasperation and stormed off in front of him. "What now Darren? Stop being so stroppy, oh right yes I forgot. Tell me about the dreams." He shouted to me while I calmed down a little near a tree. I hadn't drank blood since that night , I couldn't. My dreams about what happened and what I had done to Debbie haunted ,e still and wouldn't cease. Walking back to Crepsley I sat down beside him on a pair of deck chairs and looked at him, teary eyed.

"I can't tell you, I just can't do it."

"Try to or you will never get over it." Fighting he knot that had formed in my throat I blinked back a few tears and began to tell the horrifying tale.

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I woke really early in the morning; it must have been about five am. Realising I wouldn't fall asleep again; I poked my head out of the large window. It was stuffy in the room and I needed some fresh air and to clear my head. That same day I had met Debbie Hemlock in the square. I felt like I had known her since childhood and it felt nice to have someone my age there. Evra was a little older than me and Crepsley-well a lot older than me. Since I had left Steve, I had been pretty lonely. I was really good mates with Evra and we were like best friends but there was something that I missed. I didn't know what it was but I missed it all the same. Closing the window, I thought about Debbie and her family. They seemed so genuine and friendly.

"Is there a problem Master Shan?" I jumped and swivelled round to see Mr Crepsley towering over me.

"No, no problem at all. I'm gonna go for a walk." His brow lowered into a frown; as per usual he never smiled. I thought he would be happy to see me gone for an hour or two.

"At half past five in the morning?" Nodding I grabbed m jacket from a chair in the corner of the room and headed for the door. I wondered weather the receptionist would still be there or not…doubtful. The lights in the hallways weren't very bright but seen as I had come from a dark room, they seemed a lot brighter. When I was outside, the cold air hit me and I shivered. Even though I was half vampire, the air seemed bitter and wintry. The square was deserted and seemed like a ghost town. I was sat outside Debbie's house on a bench, staring at her bedroom window when a voice came from behind me.

"Why are you staring at my house?" I turned my head to see Debbie stood there, staring at me as though I was a freak. (Of course there is nothing wrong with freaks seen as I live with them).

"I was just taking in the morning air ya know." Nodding she sat down next to me and blew into her hands to keep herself warm. "What were you doing here?" I asked her, interested in what she would say.

"Nothing, just walking, I woke up early so thought that I might as well get some air." I smiled at her and leant back on the bench. I felt something different being with Debbie. I didn't know what it was and didn't know when I had first felt like that.

"So, you busy tomorrow?" Her eyes widened as she turned to look at me.

"Are you asking me out, Darren Shan?" Nodding feebly I stood up to walk away but she pulled me back down and I crashed onto the bench. "I'm not busy tomorrow." I looked at her in shock, had she just agreed to go on a date with me? Excitedly I ran back to the hotel room, slammed the door behind me. Evra rolled out of bed and fell to the floor.

"Ouch, Darren buddy were ya bin?" Blushing, I turned to face a bruised Evra.

"Oh somewhere, I'm not gonna be here tomorrow." He stared at me in eagerness before standing up off the floor and brushing off his shorts.

"Why not? I'm gonna be on my lonesome tomorrow!" He jokingly grumbled to me with a smirk on his face.

"Well, I have a date tomorrow." My voice went quieter when I reached the word 'date' but Evra seemed to hear just fine. He sniggered when I had finished.

"A date, who with? Is it with Debbie Hmm, hmm?" His voice was excited and loud. I didn't desire to tell him because it was awkward, telling him about my first date.

"Yeah it's with Debbie." He nodded and grinned blissfully. I think he was happy that I was finally dating someone but I felt bad leaving him on his own. "You sure you'll be okay on your own?" He nodded and smiled before making breakfast and turning on the TV. A week passed and I was really falling for Debbie, she was incredible, gorgeous and hilarious. We spent almost every day together and were practically inseparable so I figured that I needed to tell her the truth about what I really was…a vampire. I waited for her in front of her house until she came to the door. She smiled sweetly at me before stepping out of the front door and closing it behind her.

"Hey, Debbie I have something to tell you." She looked at me dejectedly and kissed my cheek then listened intently.

"Go on, I'm listening." She was very chirpy considering what I was about to tell her. I didn't know how to tell her. I couldn't just say- 'I really like you by the way your boyfriend's a half vampire but hey he won't kill you so all's good'. It doesn't pop up in everyday conversation.

"Okay here we go; I'm not the Darren Shan you think I am." Her eyes widened as she frowned. She opened her mouth to speak but was cut off before she could start. "Let me finish, I'm…a…" This was really difficult and Debbie had fallen silent, expecting me to tell her. "I'm a half vampire." The words just blurted out of my mouth before I could think about them and Debbie was in shock.

"You're a half vampire?!" She screeched at me with her eyes gathering tears. "D-do you like kill people?" I shook my head sensitively and wiped away some of her tears.

"We don't kill; we just make a small incision, take a little then heal it back up again." She stared at me once more but not in worry, in disgust and anger.

"And that makes it okay does it?" She seemed hurt but she would just have to accept it because it was who I was. "I still love you Darren but you're a monster. I can't …" She fell silent again and didn't continue.

"Debbie, I know it hurts but this is what I am, who I am. Can you accept me, or not?" Her face fell and she looked at me with deep disgust. "Please Debbie, please just say yes." She peered up at me and nodded before taking my hands.

"I don't care what you are, Darren." Her voice was soft and hushed but still I could detect a little dismay in it. "I was…just shocked from the news." I smiled and let go of her hands.

"Debbie, I haven't been drinking much blood because my mentor has been busy. I'm getting weaker basically." I sighed dejectedly, trying not to scare her. "I can't seem to find the blood or the need to drink but I have to so…" I think she knew what I was asking. "Can I drink…" I stopped because of the look on her face. She was as white as a sheet and her eyes flickered from side to side.

"You want tuh-to drink my blood?" I nodded, ashamed of the proposal. "What will happen if you don't drink my blood?" I looked down desolately and then back up again to face a nauseous looking Debbie.

"Well, I will die most probably." She turned even whiter (as if it was possible) and nodded her head slowly.

"Fine, I'll do it but be quick." She tilted her head to one side as I laughed quietly.

"I don't bite your neck that could kill you! Besides I feed while you sleep, it makes it a hell of a lot easier." I grinned at her, content that she would help me. "I should go, Evra and Mr Creps… my dad will be wondering were I am." With that I hugged her and ran to the hotel room. When I arrived, Evra was reading old magazines and Crepsley was just waking up. He pushed the coffin lid up and gazed out to see a flushed me and a surprisingly intellectual looking Evra. In my defence I had ran back from the square in record time.

"Morning boys are you okay Darren?" I bent down and gasped for air before standing up straight again and nodding.

"Fine thank you." He stood up and looked at me suspiciously before sitting down next to Evra on the small sofa in front of the bed.

"How did it go with the girl? I believe her name is Debbie is it not?" I nodded and looked around curiously. How had he known about Debbie and me?

"Good, it went great in fact." My voice was unconvincing and I think he had found out that I wasn't drinking blood anymore.

"Not by the noises I heard. The screaming, crying I thought it went quite shoddily actually." He was right of course he was. I had just told my girlfriend about what I really was; did he think she would just say oh okay then and leave? Glancing up to see Mr Crepsley, I almost told him about my suggestion. I didn't, couldn't. Not now maybe when I had done it I would tell him but I knew he would try to come between me and Debbie.

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"So that is why you didn't tell me?" Nodding I looked up at the moon and saw how big it was. It was just like it had been that night. Mr Crepsley's voice was low and dull. I kept wondering why he was being so nice; why he was being considerate all the time. I didn't ask him though, I didn't really want to. "Believe it or not Darren I care about you, more than you may think sometimes and I hate seeing you hurt. So tell me the rest of the story." I agreed and told the rest of my nightmare.

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That night, while Debbie was sleeping, I snuck into her room and pulled back the covers and scratched her leg. I couldn't stop drinking it but I had to. Managing to pull myself away I healed the cut and jumped out of the window into the night sky. I was worried that I had drunk too much blood but reassured myself and went to sleep. At about seven in the morning, there was a banging on the door and Mrs Hemlock screamed my name. Rushing to the door I opened it and she grabbed my shirt and started to sob.

"Debbie, it's Debbie!" My face went white as she explained to me about Debbie. "She's apparently lost a lot of blood but no one knows how." Me! I had drained Debbie almost of her blood. I felt sick and couldn't look at myself in the mirror on the wardrobe door.

"Where is she?" I panicked as I spoke and my voice broke as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"In her room, she is too fragile to move so needs a lot of rest until they know the real symptoms." I rushed over to her house and scaled the wall till I was at Debbie's window. I climbed over the window ledge and saw her… her corpse like body. All feelings of tiredness, sickness and fear went as all I felt was guilt. I ran my hand over her cheek and pushed a few stray locks out of her eyes. Leaning down so I was eye to eye with Debbie, I whispered in her ear.

"Who did this to you?" I was hoping she would say that she didn't know but she didn't.

"You did Darren Shan, I'm not afraid though. If I have to go I have to go at least I did it to save a friend." I watched her last breath as she smiled sweetly and dropped her head onto the pillow.

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"That's were it ends. Where I wake up from the cold, hard reality knowing what I have done." Crepsley looked at me in sympathy and placed an arm around me.

"You should not feel this guilty Darren. She survived through it and is fine now."

"I know but the thing is that I almost killed my girlfriend because I couldn't control the vampire inside me." Larten looked into my deep blue eyes and sighed.

"It will be hard but you have to let go and that is why you cannot see her again. It would be too dangerous for you and her so I am sorry but that is the way it is." I smiled and looked up at him before standing up and brushing the dirt from my 'pirate costume'.

"Thanks Mr Crepsley for helping me through this."

"You are welcome Darren. You should not have anymore nightmares about this." It was true, I didn't. From then on I slept sweet dreams instead of beautiful nightmares about Debbie.

A/N: So there you go remember to review. This story can be beta'd by the reviews from you guys thanks for reading.