AN: Part Two! Yay! No, really, I wish I had this kind of inspiration while writing Saving Me. Meh, but such is the way of writers block. SO, I gotta do my writing where I can. Anywho, for those who subscribed, here you go. For those you who didn't and just read, and didn't review, thanks for reading, but please review and tell me what you think! I wanna know if you hate it too! Also, owners are Kripke and Cyndi Thompson.
It took me by surprise when I saw you standing there. Dean had seen the angel for the first time in almost ten months, since the time on the street. Dean's breath caught in his throat and it killed him to know that they weren't together. He wished he had stayed, with Cas, and not gone to Lisa. But, Lisa was what he thought he had wanted. And he found out that she wasn't.
Close enough to touch, breathing the same air. He looked Cas up and down. He still wore that damned suit and trench coat. God, how he wished he could cuddle up into it.
"H-hey, Cas," he managed to get out. Cas tilted his head at the stutter, but didn't question it.
"Hello, Dean," Castiel replied. "How are you?"
Dean closed his eyes for a moment. He honestly didn't know how he could answer him. Dean had just walked in to Bobby's, for their weekly lunch, but had seen Sam's Charger outside and assumed only Sam would be here. He wasn't really prepared to see the man he was so desperately in love with.
You'd asked me how I'd been, I guess that's when I smiled and said, "Just fine."
The angel nodded at this response, not really sensing the internal war Dean was currently having. Cas turned to speak with Sam, thoroughly ignoring Dean now.
Oh, but baby, I was lying. Dean wanted to scream and push Cas into the nearest wall and... he didn't know what. Ravish him? Tell him how much he needed the angel? Punch him?
What I really mean to say is I'm dying here inside. And I miss you more each day. There's not a night I haven't cried. And, baby, here's the truth... I'm still in love with you. That's what I really meant to say.
He could feel his heart breaking again. He looked over to see Bobby staring at him. He nodded to him and looked out the window, not wanting to listen to the conversation. But, shortly the conversation died, and Castiel was leaving.
As you walked away, the echo of my words cut just like a knife. Why didn't he tell him how he was really feeling? Why didn't he say that he still needed the angel?
It cut so deep it hurt. He could almost physically feel the pain of how much he ached to just... touch Cas. It was like Hell, only worse. He closed his eyes, feeling the tears begin to brim. Did Castiel just feel nothing for him anymore?
I held back the tears, held onto my pride, and watched you go. He watched as Castiel dissappeared. A sigh of relief and anguish left him.
I wonder if he'll ever know. But, probably not. Dean didn't have the balls to tell him, and he knew Bobby wouldn't ever say a thing to him. He couldn't take the extra pain if Cas turned him down. He didn't know if he could live with the knowledge that Castiel didn't love him anymore.
But, he wanted to tell him so bad. And he knew that he would always love Castiel. Would always wait for him.
What I really meant to say is I'm really not that strong. And no matter how I try, I'm still holding on. And here's the honest truth... I'm still in love with you. That's what I really meant to say.