warning(s): spoilers for the fight against Medusa in Pendrago Shrinechurch and Symmone in Pendrago, also Alisha's DLC.
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In Rose's life, there are two kinds of person.
Bad guys; means judgement shall passed.
Good guys; and they shall live.
For Rose, it has always either one of the two. It is a binary answer; there is no in-between. That's why she doesn't like the things she can't hear or see, because they can't be explained. Because she can't decide which group they fall into.
And when she finally managed to interact with seraphim, the answer becomes clear. They fall into the first group―at least for these seraphim on Sorey's side.
(But she still can't decide about this wind seraph.)
The One Who Falls into Two Groups
Tales of Zestiria © Bandai Namco
This is a work of fanfiction, simply written for the purpose of enjoyment and entertainment. I gain no financial profit from writing this.
She knows fighting the Lord of Calamity isn't this seraph's reason to join the group. He doesn't seem to care about it; it's more like he has his own reason to join them.
"Have you been with them from the start?"
"No."
"Why do you join them?"
And he falls into silence.
It will be far too convenient for Rose if he just answers easily. She needs to hear his full story before deciding if he's a good seraph, or a bad one. It's not like she wants to kill him, he doesn't seem like one that will bring people into suffering. So why is she so fixated on knowing more about this seraph?
She just has a hunch, a pain in her chest, sometimes stabbing her and taking her breath away.
And that's when she doesn't expect an answer escaping between his pointy teeth.
"... Vengeance."
(How typical.)
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"Why are you following me?"
He halts his breath, only to resume the second after. She notices that, and takes that into account. She doesn't like finding someone behind her each time she turns around, following her like some loyal dog.
"I can stop if you want."
(Yet his presence isn't that much of a bother.)
"When you're around, the wind feels nice."
She breathes in the fresh morning dew into her lungs.
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"You can only bring one seraph with you. Who will go with you, Rose?"
She doesn't need more than a second to set her eyes on the wind seraph―still standing up straight with his arms crosses over his chest. She knows the best seraph to go in with shall be the one she's most synchronised with. She knows Sorey also believed the same, that's why he went in with Mikleo in that other crucible.
When you have to fight numerous hellions with only one other person by your side, of course the best bet is to enter it with the one you can entrust your back to.
But the intensity of malevolence inside the crucible is making her sick. She isn't ready for what to come. It is a much wiser choice to come back next time when they're more ready.
(Next time they come, she has to muse for hours before deciding to go in with Lailah.)
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She brushes his fringe away and gazes deep into his clouded eyes. They stare straight at her, except they're not really looking at her. Such strong eyes have always been hidden behind his stupid haircut.
"How beautiful..." she accidentally let it slip out.
"You can't expect me to say anything about you."
She chuckles. Of course, he can't see her after all. It will be more suspicious for Dezel to be complimenting Rose on her appearance.
"I can tell you." She pulls off his gloves and brings his hand to her head, "I've got red hair. You said you aren't always blind, so you must have remembered the colour. It's almost the same tint as the dusk sky."
It continues to the side of her face, "I've got blue eyes; they're more like clear water to me though."
She doesn't need to lead his hands for him to find his way brushing behind her ears and hair. She smiles, she never likes intimate touches like this, but when Dezel does it, it feels like those hands have found their way home.
He roams around her neck and she shudders at the touch of his big hand. She catches his hands and presses their palms together as she lines up the bottom of their hands.
She never realises his hand is a lot bigger and sturdier than hers. Her own callused fingers are just lithe woman's fingers compared to his.
She threads their fingers together and turns back to his vacant gaze―the same empty expression. She closes in her face, only to stop midair inches apart. She stares into those unwavering pale gray, "Is it okay?" she whispers.
He grips her hand tighter, and she decides it's a yes. So she leans in to bump their lips together, softly and barely grazing. But when his she feels his lips parts a bit, she slides in her tongue to scrape over his jagged teeth before pulling away right after contact.
Her laugh fills the room and brings frown to Dezel's face. "... What?"
"I've always wanted to try that―you know, your pointy teeth."
She bumps their foreheads and presses one more peck on his lips, "The rest can wait after we beat Heldalf."
(But he's not there to see it happens.)
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Looking at their shared wallet, Rose usually books only one room for the six of them to share.
We've got two beds, enough for Sorey and me. The rest of you can just stay in Sorey. I'm not paying extra.
But that night, only that night, she suggests getting two rooms.
"As a girl, I don't want to always share a room with a man, y'know?"
(But they all know the actual reason.)
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She finally gets the time alone she needs. Yet she only feels lonely.
Uttering his name only brings more bitterness on her tongue. Tears won't flow, because she forgets how to cry. His words ringing in her ears, over and over and never wants to stop. Rose doesn't want it to stop.
She recalls her first impression on him; he worries too much, but now that she thinks about it, it's always only about her. Because he thinks of Rose as a vessel, he didn't want any harm on his puppet for his revenge of course.
(Dezel should have belonged in the second group; the ones who deserves judgement.)
But even after knowing it, Rose doesn't feel the slightest anger within her. He's been controlling her body without her even knowing, but the only thing she feels is only the realisation.
'Oh, so that's why I have high resonance. It's thanks to him.'
'It's him who starts the Scattered Bones, it's thanks to him I'm having so much fun all these years.'
'Is it also him who saved me countless times I'm in a pinch? I have to thank him.'
'Oh, so Dezel has always been here with me. That's why I feel so comfortable with him.'
(Dezel should have belonged in the second group; yet he also falls into the first group. And that's the first time she finds someone who belongs in-between the binary.)
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The way Zaveid joins them is just too convenient.
He happens to join right after Dezel's passing, happens to bear the same element, happens to use the same weapon as him.
Zaveid appears. And supposedly replaces Dezel's position as the Shepherd's wind seraph.
But, it's not the same. It just can't be the same.
Dezel will awkwardly stop his track and crouch down to play with wild animals, while Zaveid won't.
Dezel will bring calm breeze, while Zaveid will bring short gust of breath.
(―which she misses.)
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Her eyes follow after the light seeping through her window. On her bedside are Talfryn and Felice, worry and pain on their face as much as she can imagine. She remembers the time when they are still trading all around Glenwood, and even killing people they deemed unworthy.
Now everything seems so distant.
She doesn't mention his name anymore these days, neither hear it from another's mouth. There's no proof that he has ever live, as if the wind seraph named Dezel never existed.
Slowly but surely, he'll be left forgotten.
She doesn't know him for that long (not counting the time Dezel followed her without her even knowing), not long enough for her to cry each night and mope all day. His death makes her skip a meal, keeps her awake for two nights, and stops her from turning around to look behind her for three weeks.
But that was all.
Other than that, she still eats, she sleeps, she fights hellion and helped Sorey with his quest to purify the land. After it's over, she became the Shepherd, still trading all over the Glenwood, works as the leader of Scattered Bones.
She's so busy with her life that she's only reminded of him each time the wind combs through her hair.
But now in her last moments, his face is the only thing in her head. That may be rude to all the important people in her life, but she's lived long enough with them.
(When Dezel died, she promised herself to devote her life to those still breathing around her. And after she's done with it... her soul will stay with Dezel.)
She breathes in the fresh morning dew... and smiles.
'He's here...'
She whispers to her comrades, "When I die... bury me in some place high where I can feel the wind."
Everyone moves forward, and so does she. And now that her life's about to reach the end line, she just wants to sit and breathes in the wind, letting it play with her hair and feeling his presence with all her senses.
Dezel didn't die. He only returned to his element. He becomes one with the wind. And Rose wants to be the one to embrace the wind after her road comes to its end.
She closes her eyes.
(Before her last breath, she wonders if human can become the wind after they die.)
End.
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a/n1: I ship Dezel/Rose ever since their first appearance together and I was so down when Dezel died. I didn't expect that coming. (I know Zaveid's suppose to join the group as wind seraph but I never give it more thought that he will replace Dezel.) this idea have been stuck in my head ever since I saw the first epilogue. her grave is just soo high up I bet the wind is always there with her sobs they're happy now. (that's also the main reason I prefer the headcanon of Rose not becoming a seraph after she died.)
a/n2: this came out longer than I expected. the draft was just 400 words so I didn't anticipate something more than 700 words.
a/n3: I hope you enjoyed this, thanks for reading!