Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto T_T

Just kill me now: chapter 1

Iruka's feet hit the floor hard, stumbling slightly in his distress, he swiped hot tears from his flushed cheeks with an angry growl. 'Why is this happening to me!' His mind screamed, the nauseating embarrassment clamped his stomach. Swallowing hard he moved his hands into sign, his dark eyes glared to his right as his shadowclone appeared beside him. 'They'll be looking for me, throw them off,' his mind instructed, a single nod from the clone was his only response before it bolted in the opposite direction. Iruka sniffed, wiping his eyes that continued to flood with mortified tears, he needed space, he needed quiet, he needed to be far far away from that fucking asshole, Genma!

A deep inhale shot into his lungs, flaring his nostrils, his insides sparked with rage at the thought of the smug faced senbon sucker. With an abashed whimper he bolted towards the forest, knowing that if he didn't settle his murdersome rage he would end up killing someone. Iruka ran through the thick shadowy foliage as fast as he could, leaving behind a trail of whirling leaves and sparkling tears, weaving around huge trees and lush shrubs his eyes fixed dead in front of him, his jaw clenched, his skin still burning with a fierce blush.

Iruka skidded to a stop, sliding out of the forest and onto hard dusty earth that kicked up around his feet, his eyes squinted in the hot glaring sunlight, his hands resting on his knees as he fought to win back his breath. He straightened with a weary sigh, drinking the his surroundings an appreciative smile flashed across his lips, the beauty of the lake seemed like an instant salve to his stinging pride.

The air was fresh, the cool crystal waters glistening in the sunlight, surrounded by gently rustling trees, the busy hum of the village no longer able to reach his ears. He felt some of his tension instantly drain, his favourite hiding place truly was stunning. His eyes narrowed, pausing to scan the surrounding area for signs that he had been followed, his ears listening carefully as he stood silently unmoving.

Iruka breathed in the cool air of the lake, wiping a flushed cheek on his forearm, finally satisfied that he was alone he strolled stiffly over the the waters edge, pinching the bridge of his nose he winced against the piercing headache that clamped over his temples. He placed a foot onto the surface of the water, pushing his chakra down to the soles of his feet he felt the tension of the surface beneath him harden, he found his footing and started to walk out onto the lake.

A humiliated groan left his lips as his mind began to race, 'Oh Kami, this can't be happening!... How could Genma do that! Embarrassing me like this!... I would never- and Kakashi-sensei! Oh Hell! He was standing right there!... He probably- fuck knows what he thinks of me now! He definitely hates me!... I'll never be able to look him in the eye after this!... How could I be so stupid! Letting myself fall for Naruto's new sensei! I'm such a fucking loser! I'll be the laughing stock of the village!... Fucking outed in front of all those people!... Nice one, Genma!... Shit! what if they disapprove? What if they don't trust me around their children anymore? Could I lose my job over this?... and Naruto! What if they take my guardianship away!' Iruka's breath hitched, anxiety clamping his throat, wet hot tears dripping from his chin as he sobbed. His hand fell away from his face, he looked down at the water sloshing and swaying beneath him, the gently spray dampening his trouser legs.

Iruka pushed himself on, watching as the lake floor fell further away, darkening as the water continued to deepen. When he reached the centre of the lake he stopped, glancing back at the forest as his hands moved into his own secret sequence, "Water style, submerged air vessel jutsu," Iruka whispered to himself, his fingers interlocking into the last symbol, his chakra pulsing out of him with a static crackle. The water around his feet began to swirl, Iruka sank down, hugging his knees to his chest as the water began to whip up around him in twisting tendrils, raising high above his head and rotating over until he was sealed into a huge pocket of air that slowly began to sink down, enclosing itself beneath the surface of the water with a gentle 'slosh'.

Iruka sat silently, resting his forehead against his knees he hugged himself tightly, feeling the air around him cool as his bubble sank all the way down to the bottom of the lake. He felt the emotions inside of him building, sadness, anger, anxiety, frustration and embarrassment all mixed with fury and blind rage.

His body began trembling, the pain in his chest was becoming too much, the pressure in his head building, he couldn't breath, he let out another fierce sob, squeezing his eyes tighter shut, "I can't take this anymore!" he shouted, his hands clamping onto his scalp, he felt sick, his skin was on fire, his insides were shaking, struggling to keep his temper from clawing its way out of him, he yelled in pain moving to press his forehead against the wet flooring of his chamber.

Tears spilling from his eyes he released a strangled whine, curling himself tightly into a foetal position he covered his face, panting for breath as his resolve melted away and the anguish began to leak out of him, safe and alone in his cold, dark bubble.

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Thank you for reading! please tell me your thoughts! Now... On to the next chapter! ^_^