Ch 1: When You Wish Upon A Star
Disclaimer: This is an AU story where Jude joined the church six years earlier than she actually did. She was still dumped by Casey and hit Missy, the girl in blue, both back in 1943, just before becoming a nun.
January 1949: St. Ursula's Home For Lost Children
Five-year-old Mary Eunice held her rag doll tightly to her chest. It was the last thing she had from home and she couldn't bare the thought of someone taking it from her...like everything else had been taken, so cruelly, and very quickly. The blonde shook as she tiptoed down the hall; the rickety old hardwood floor creaked beneath her steps as she inched along. In truth she was scared to death to move and yet she kept walking, something inside her propelled her to investigate her new surroundings: St. Ursula's Home For Lost Children. Part of her wanted to hide in a corner, curl up into a ball and cry, and another piece of her sought comfort so desperately that she had to at least try to seek it out.
She was five, and as such she'd already been put to bed. Some of the older kids however, were still up playing and doing homework. Mary could not sleep and had gotten out of bed to be alone, the faint hope that she'd find a friend hung loosely in her heart. So far, you see, no one had been nice to her here. The other children were so unlike herself: mean, loud, competitive, cruel...she was shy, quiet, and so introverted she could barely communicate with her family...well, back when she had a family. Mary Eunice walked out of the main rooms of the orphanage, where all the other kids were playing and down a dark narrow hall. No one had been willing to include her in their game. Mary was both crushed and relieved by this: she wanted to be included, but she was too distraught to play or talk with anyone. In fact, she had not spoken since it happened. Since she'd been told she was all-alone in the world now at five years old.
By now she thought she'd met everyone and was searching out a place of solace where she could look out the window and watch it rain. Mary was experiencing wavering moments of being alright, and then suddenly, without warning, she'd start to miss her Mommy too much and that lump would develop in her tummy again and she'd cry. Mary knew she needed to be alone when she cried next time. She'd cried her first two days there and this older boy, the bully Billie Porter, had punched her in the stomach for it.
Mary Eunice walked what felt like a great distance until she reached a small supply closet at the end of the dark, dusty hall. The door squeaked as she opened it and the little girl jumped back, afraid to go inside at first. But Mary Eunice felt the tears coming on and that more than anything else urged her to climb inside. Mary closed the door, her little eyes widening in the dark…she'd forgotten she was terrified of the dark too. She hugged her doll tighter and sunk to the ground as she began to blubber. Being so small and even more consumed by her own emotional state, Mary Eunice had not had the awareness to realize that she'd been being followed all this way, nor did she hear the sound of the nun's shoes going 'clunk-clunk-clunk' come to a screeching halt when she reached the supply closet.
Sister Jude lowered her head sympathetically, and reached out to the door handle of the cabinet wondering how much privacy she should give the little girl. She had not met little Mary Eunice yet, but had not been able to take her eyes off of her in the three days she'd been there. She was so adorable and Jude felt terrible for her: her story was more than tragic, and touched Jude deep inside her heart. Jude waited a moment and then got on her knees, opening the cabinet door.
"Ha!" The little girl jumped when she saw Jude, trying to hide her face.
So far, Mary Eunice did not like these nuns; they were mean ladies who made her even more afraid of her new environment.
"Ah honey." Jude smiled.
Mary looked up at the blonde nun's eyes, noting that she looked like her Mom. That made Mary feel more comfortable, but it also caused her eyes to well up with tears again.
"I know yar scared. It's alright."
"I-I miss my Mommy." She whispered.
"I know love. Here, come here."
Jude held out her arms to the child. Mary paused, looking at her up and down very carefully, quickly realizing that Jude was going to hug her, rather than take her harshly by the arm and drag her somewhere she didn't want to go. Mary held out her little arms and Jude picked her up, pulling her on her lap.
Neither of them said anything as Jude wrapped her arms around the girl, beginning to rock her as soon as she had her in her grasp. She felt Mary Eunice wrap her tiny hands around her arms, clinging to her tightly as she began to cry again.
"Oh sweetheart, it's okay, it's alright. Shu, ya just cry, it's okay ta cry did ya know that?" Mary nodded.
"I'm scared." She whispered.
"I know, I know, but yar gonna be okay. Yar a brave, beautiful girl." Jude gently lifted Mary's chin so that she would look up at her and began to dry her tears. Mary just sniffled.
"I'm scared. I wanna go home."
"I know ya do angel." Mary was surprised when Jude kissed the top of her head and picked her up.
She needed that simple kiss so badly, Mary didn't know how or why, perhaps it was supernatural or deeply psychological, but she was very suddenly at peace in this nun's arms and she felt like she wanted to stay in her embrace forever. Mary Eunice, who had not really slept in days, yawned and laid her head against Jude's shoulder.
"Where are we going?" She asked, fighting sleep now as Jude began, very slowly, to walk down the hall toward the room where the child slept.
"Yar a tiny girl, and its time far bed." She said, rubbing the little girl's back.
"I don't wanna go to bed…I wanna go to see Mommy and Daddy."
"I know ya do." Jude whispered, a tear rolling down her own cheek.
Somehow this girl's story reminded her of her own and it hurt deeply. Mary yawned again and wrapped her arms around Jude's neck, seeming to finally settle into sleep in her arms.
"There, there, that's it." Jude whispered as she lay her back down.
Jude sat down on the side of the child's bed as she prepared to tuck her in. All the children around them were fast asleep, and so it was as if the two were alone.
"Mmm…" Mary Eunice mumbled in protest.
"Shu, go to sleep." Jude whispered, running her fingers through the child's hair.
"No I…" She yawned. "I miss home too much. I want Mommy."
"I lost my Mommy too." Jude whispered, placing her forehead against Mary's. "I understand."
"You did?" Mary felt sad, but somehow comforted by this news, as if she had company in her mourning. Jude crawled into bed with Mary and took her into her arms, holding her tight.
"Yes. And I know ya wanna go home."
"I want stuff ta be okay." She whined. It was obvious to Jude that the child was overwhelmed both with sadness and exhaustion.
"I promise things will be okay, one day. Ya know what helps me?"
"What?" She inquired.
"Well look outside look up at the stars."
"Are Mommy and Daddy there?"
"Yes, yes they are. And they want ya ta be okay. All ya have ta do is look up at the stars."
"Like that one?"
"Yeah like that one." Jude whispered enthusiastically at the child's selection of a particular star. This one hung low in the sky and shined so bright it was as though it was there just for Mary Eunice. "Ya pick a star and ya make a wish on it and ya wish real hard and one day, it'll come true."
Tiny Mary Eunice McKee closed her eyes and wished upon the brightly shining start.
"What'd ya wish?" Jude asked.
"I can't tell you, it won't come true!" Mary whispered. The child was enthused now and Jude was ecstatic she'd been able to distract her from her sorrow, at least for a few moments.
"Oh, that's right." She smiled.
Jude kissed Mary Eunice and began to rock her, humming a soft tune as the girl yawned again, unable to keep her eyes open now.
"Good night sweetheart. I hope all yar wishes come true."
"Ni-ni…" Mary was barely able to say.
Sister Jude held the little girl and rocked her to sleep, having no idea that the child's wish had to do with her.