This is the summer of 1965 and I am returning to Kellerman's. This is going to be the hardest thing I have very had to do in my whole life. I have not seen Johnny since I left Kellerman's , 2 year's ago. This has been the hardest 2 year's that I had ever had to experience. He was once my life , my love, the ever forgoing beat of my changing heart. The thing is when I left him that summer of 1963, I was pregnant. I unfortunatly lost the baby, when I had an accident. I fell down the stair's that led to the dinning room at my parents house. None of us knew that I was going to have a baby. As I lay there on the floor at the bottom of the stair's , my mind drifted back to that last summer, the last summer of innocence, of happiness. I left my body laying there in a puddle of blood , I then had nothing left of the life that I had once wanted. Johnny was gone, his flesh and blood was once no more and now that brings me here , on my way to the Catskills. On my way to try to bring something back that I had once had. My heart and soul went with the baby , that if I had known,that baby would have been my life, the piece of Johnny that I lost. Love has not touched me since the day that I fell down those stairs.
I am riding down the freeway listening to my music, all the sad music was passing through my ear's , like clouds do on a cloudy day. I remembered Kellerman's and the life it had shown me that I could have had. If I would have known then what I know now, I would not let him leave without me. This was all on me and there was nothing that could ever change the fact that I screwed this up. I wanted nothing but for Johnny to be happy, so I left him a note saying that I love him and that I hope that one day we would cross paths again. I sat that note on his record player and walked out of his life. I know that now that he probly hates me, but I have to try to make things right. I hope that he will have it in his heart to forgive me. There was nothing that was ever going to make me happy again , until I can tell him why I did what I did.
It was not long before I came across the sign that say Kellerman's. I looked at the sign sighing. This was where it all started. Where I lost myself to an amazing person, where I lost my innocence , where I became a woman of my own, where I lost my Daddy. My Dad never turned his back on me but the dissappointment of finding out of my carelessness , hurt our relationship tremendously. He is still here for me and still trys to make me happy, but there is nothing there that can make me happy. In a few short months, I managed to mess my whole life up and loose everything that I had. Lisa of all people was the one that has always been there for me after my accident. She always trys to bring my spirits up and make me see that things are not always as bad as they seem. Lisa was now my saviour and strong arms that I reach out to when my dreams take to that place that I long to be at. This is her idea and I will never know how to thank her for giving me that push.
After a few more minutes I pull into the parking lot in front of the main house. I got out my car and looked around, nothing has changed. I seen Max and Neil walking around greeting the guests and talking with the staff. Max looked my way and gave me a wave. The next thing that I knew it, I was facing Max, with a smile on his face. "Baby Houseman, how are you? Your father said that you was going to be here." I gave a weak smile and nodded my head in agreement. "So Baby, your father sent me the money for everything this summer, everything is paid for even the meals, if you need more money , he sent me some for you."
"Thanks Max, I appeciate it, if I need anything I'll let you know." Then I felt a hand reach my shoulder. I turned in suprise. It was Billy, he was standing there with a smile about the same size of his head. I couldn't help but laugh, he was such a character. If you knew Billy , you would have to love him , everyone does. He has the a magic that everyone needs in their life. I have had a pleasure of being his friend.
"Baby , how the hell are ya? I havn't seen ya in a while, where the world have you been hiding?" I looked up at him with contempt in my eye's.
"Ah no where really , just been trying to stay on track."
"Oh thats right Miss College girl there , right?" He smiled again to let me know that he was proud. I started to feel a little uneasy.
"No, I am not in school, I did take some classes for a 2 year program, I am out now." I just shook my head.
"Well what a suprise, what happened to the big school that you were going to go to?" I could feel the tear's starting to show in my eye's. I am sure that he felt the tension that raidated off me. "It's alright Baby , you don't have to tell me anything, I understand that it is none of my business."
"Oh your ok , I didn't mean to act that way, its just a long story and maby sometime when you get the chance we can talk about it, I know that I can trust you with anything."
"Yea, that would be nice, maby I can help you out." I gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm sure you can, more than you will know." So I picked up my personal bag and motioned for Billy to get the ones that were still in the trunk. He walked me down a path that was in the direction of the staff quarters.
"Hey Billy , why are we going this way, isn't the guest houses still out front and on the south side?" My eyes were squinted and looking rather odd. He looked at me with slight amusment.
"Well we sorta ran out and we had to give you one of the instructers cabins, but don't worry, no one will bother you, beside they have got it pretty nice for ya, girl."
"Oh no your kidding, which one is it?" My heart was racing and my hands were sweaty. I knew where this conversation was going."Oh please tell me no, its not going to be that one is it Billy?" The moment of no control was about to make an entrance.
"Oh don't worry, its not that one it is the one that is around to the other sides of those tree's." I gave a rather large sigh.
"Well as long as it is not the one that Johnny was in when I was here last."
"No, he's in that one." My heart lept to my throat. This cannot be happening, he will be that close. How in the world do I get in these messes, it never fails to happen. He hates me and I am here to try and patch things up and they put me in a room right next to his. I could kill Max Kellerman right now.
We made our way to my cabin , where Billy let me in to put my bags up. I looked around the room, everything that I needed was there and it looked identical to the one that Johnny has. I galanced at the corner and there was a turntable on a small table, with some records stacked up against the wall. I walked over and thumbed through the records , to see what they had for me to listen to. There was the Chi-Lites, Solomon Burk, and few more that I knew. I reach for the Solomon Burke and it had Cry to me in bold letters written on it. I decided that I would have a listen, I hadn't listened to that song in 2 year's. I felt that I needed to get some of my demons out of my closet and this was one of the ways that I thought that I could achieve that goal. I looked over at Billy and said. "Billy I think that I need to be alone, would you please come back and we can eat dinner together." He galnced over at me and shook his head.
"You know it, I would love to." WIth that Billy turned and left the room, leaving me to my thoughts. This was going to be an indcrediable summer.