Consensual Tampon Sex, by Dickfart
Bella SWAN said, "Edward, I'm birthing."
"Bella."
"Birthing more."
"Bella!"
"Birthing just a few more inches."
"BELLA!"
Just as Edward sunk his teeth into Bella's bowels, and the turd plopped into the toilet.
"I birthed a poopy," said Bella, with no expression on her face whatsoever. Then she looked down at Edward with his teeth inside of her. "Does this mean I'm a vampurr?"
"Bella," Edward said, and Bella put a treat on his nose so he would beg for it. It was one of her used tampons. Brian Griffin was offended on Edward's behalf.
The End