A Happy Demon Is A Recovering Demon
This has taken too long to put up...it's not been a brilliant few weeks in my life, so I accept that this fic might seem dated now compared to when I started it in early October!
I've also not been watching the WWE product lately, only keeping up with it via social media.
Still miss Finn though :(
Anyhoo, hope you like this little fluffy piece :D
Finn Balor was at home, once more fresh from a day's rehab. He'd recently had stem cell surgery, but his rehabilitation was progressing so well, the doctors and trainers down at the Performance Center were talking of his return possibly happening sooner than Wrestlemania 33, which until now had been his goal and target. It was long enough to not risk coming back too early, but not so long that people would forget about him.
Admittedly, having his heart stolen by one Sami Zayn had given him one hell of a boost. It might be wasted as New Day's catchphrase, but Finn had always maintained that one should never underestimate the power of positivity. And being Sami Zayn's boyfriend (secret for now) was one hell of a positive thing. Finn had been walking on air since that memorable September day, when Sami had come around just to hang out...and they'd ended up in bed together at last. And then had blissful morning sex the following day, Sami making sure that he pleased Finn without compromising that tender shoulder. They'd gone out for coffee...walked in the park feeding the ducks...had lunch together...just making the most of the limited time they'd had to truly connect before Sami had to get back on the road and Finn had to prepare for some advanced stem cell surgery.
But it was now the middle of October, and it was definitely fall. At least if you went by the shops and people's driveways in the Sunshine State. Pumpkin spice products were creeping onto the shelves, the large orange fruits themselves in question were showing up on supermarket shelves. So it was merely 'pumpkin season' as it was still shorts weather and the trees were obstinately green still.
Finn missed the autumn of Ireland, whereby now the mornings would be darker, night time brought a chill in the air and the trees would be changing to various hues of yellows, oranges and browns.
And Finn was currently unlocking his iPad.
Sha Samuels, one of his close indie friends still working in Britain, had alerted Finn to two contestants on Britain's American Idol, X-Factor, and Sha had told Finn that he would LOVE them.
So Finn, being the little curious cat he was, and with time on his hands, had looked up the act in question, two flamboyant twinks named Bradley and Ottavio who performed as 'Bratavio'...and he was now OBSESSED with them. They were glitter, drama, over-the-top and as proudly camp as can be...and they'd gotten small-minded Brits all frothing at the mouth. And FInn was LOVING IT. WHY should fem guys 'tone it down'?! You don't tell women to 'tone down being women' or men to 'tone down the masculinity'. In fact, it was making Finn want to be even more fem.
Sha Samuels:
Mate you HAVE to see this week's X Factor *laughter emojis* You know it aint my thing but I bet this is right up your alley LOL
Fergal Devitt:
I WISH I WAS IN BRITAIN *crying emojis*
Sha Samuels:
You have the internet don't you, ya mug *tongue out emoji*
So Finn was on the ITV website, opening up Bratavio's latest performance.
And despite nobody being in his house, as he watched the colourful display unfold, he let out a massive SQUEE! of excitement. He was a 35 year old man having a teenage tumblr girl moment...or what others would term...'stanning'.
A mashup of Vengaboys' Boom Boom Boom Boom and the iconically trashy Barbie Girl by Aqua?!
HE LIVED!
Fergal Devitt:
OMG OMG OMG OMG YOU NEED TO SEE THIS
Cody Runnels:
What is it now *laughter emojis*
Fergal Devitt:
*link*
Cody Runnels:
Funnily enough I've been watching XFactor whilst doing shows in the UK hehehe...I saw them and thought of you *sassy girl emojis*
Fergal Devitt:
THEY SLAY *crown emojis*
FinnBalor BRATAVIO BradleyHuntUK OttavioUK I LOVE YOU BOTH *kissy emoji* *raised hand emojis* *finger and thumb emoji* you are #2Sweet
And what? He was allowed to tweet whomever he liked if it made WWE look good! And plus, well, Finn was popular with fans, he wasn't being egotistical by knowing this. But was he wishing he was in Britain now or what? He would be begging Triple H to get him VIP passes to the next XFactor live show just to go and gush to Bratavio in person. So what if they were at least a decade younger than him?
A knock came at his door.
Who could that be this sunny afternoon?
Whistling Barbie Girl to himself, Finn SASHAYED like a BOSS to the door and opened it with his free hand.
"Oh HEY," beamed Shane Thorne, "You busy with your Batmobile?"
"Bitch I finished the Batmobile the same week I was cleared to build Lego again," Finn sassed back, standing by to let him in.
Shane was coming to help Finn finish decorating his house for fall. If the weather outside still suggested summer, the cute Irishman and former champion was going to bring the season inside. He'd been out shopping for various botanical anointments, such as pine cones, cinnamon sticks, oranges. He'd found a beautiful scarlet maple leaf wreath for the front door, which not only screamed fall, but also reminded him of his red-haired Montreal boyfriend.
He'd also been buying pumpkins (He had to get Shane to do the carrying) to carve up ready to deck the porch.
"So how was rehab?"
"Painful. But doctors say I'm doing very well...but enough of that...I NEED TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING."
"Is it those Bratavio guys?" asked Shane, "I did see your tweet gurl. So I checked them out."
"AREN'T THEY THE BEST?!" squealed Finn.
"We should go to Britain and hunt them down and party with them," Shane gushed, "Who's your favourite? THe tall one with big hair...I live for his crop tops."
"BRADLEY. But they both slay. I want his wee shorts..." Finn camped.
"Oh imagine if some stereotypical wrestling fans had your house bugged?" snorted Shane.
"Who cares? Bratavio have reminded me that no fucker has the right to tell us fem boys to 'tone it down'!" Finn said, "In fact, I'm gonna tone it UP."
"YAAAAAS. Make them sweat down at the PC. Do our makeup in promo class."
"I'm gonna glitter my face like Bradley for training tomorrow!" Finn gushed, "I am literally full of life right now...they did a Vengaboys and Aqua mash up and I can't stop booty bopping!"
"So how's things going with lover boy?" teased Shane.
"PERF!" squealed Finn, "We text constantly and he calls when he can. Apparently he and Neville are starting to talk more civilly which is good cos they were such good friends before their 2 year dramafest of a relationship."
"And him making it up with the ex doesn't bother you?"
"No. Should it?"
"Just sayin' henny," Shane said, "Sami's already cheating on Zack Sabre Junior with you and now he's thawing towards Hobbit Man."
"Shade Neville once more and I'll tell the world about the two guys and a camera incident," threatened Finn.
"Nick and I are just close friends who happen to also enjoy fucking like dogs on heat regularly, I'm a young and beautiful single girl who can bang whom she wants," Shane did 'sassy girl emoji' to make his point, "Plus we also enjoy abusing your little Scottish puppy mate. Try harder 1 Arm."
"You and Nick are riding high on NXT at the moment, wouldn't want footage of you being double penetrated and begging for a third in your maw leaked now would you?" Finn clapped back.
"Just means Nick and I will be more popular with The Gays trademark," Shane replied, "Anyway, you've been DP'd a few times."
"Yeah...but my vag is only open to one man now," Finn said, "Oh Shane...he's so perfect. Still can't believe he and I are together."
"But there is a lanky evil kween standing in the way," Shane replied, "How are you gonna take care of ZSJ?"
"Hopefully have him walk in when I'm sat on Sami's beautiful face?" sassed Finn.
"I'd prefer him to walk in whilst Sami is buried balls deep in you," Shane grinned.
"Don't Shane. Please. My vag is already twitching at the memory of that day."
"Feeling the strain again girl?"
"Too much.." Finn lamented, "But...he is coming back to Orlando next week and we can catch up then."
"If he did manage to dump ZSJ would the magic go away? Cos I bet the whole secret thing is putting several inches on Zayn's topping skills."
"Oh REALLY?" Finn sassed, "I have dick pics."
"Show me go on.." Shane urged.
"He'll kill me."
"I won't tell if you won't."
"OK then, you twisted my remaining arm," Finn said, hunting through his phone and finding the latest of MANY nudes of Sami. Mmmmmm.
Now he was hard in front of Shane.
He showed his friend.
"Ooooh wow...he hides that under those long tights..." Shane breathed.
"Yup. I'm still trying to convince him to switch to trunks to show off his amazing legs."
"I'll say this girl," Shane replied, "He is slept on."
"It's because he's not airbrushed unattainable perfection," Finn said, "Sami's hotness is the real kind. And he's solid. His thighs...UNF..."
"Need to cool down? I spy something happening in your shorts. And excuse me. You are the epitome of unattainable."
"You and Nick both got me," Finn giggled naughtily, "But ANYHOO. Oooh DM. OMIGHOD!"
He squealed like a Directioner.
"What now?" Shane said, "I think your window just cracked."
"Look!" gushed Finn.
Message from BradleyHuntUK
*hearteyes* thanks hun! *kissy emoji* youre HOT! *tongue out emojis*
"Do you cast spells on every boy you talk to?!" Shane exclaimed.
"Awwwwww OMIGOD Bradley from Bratavio noticed me," sighed FInn, "Come! I must send him a selfie!"
Shane stood next to him as he held up his good arm and took a beaming selfie of them.
FinnBalor:
Both my friend SHane and I think you and Ottavio are amazing! *kissy emojis* I hope you win XFactor *heart emoji*
"HEY GURL!" Shane suddenly gasped, "We can be them for Halloween!"
"OMIGOD YAAAAAAAAAAS!" squealed Finn excitedly.
BradleyHuntUK
OH WOW *hearteyes* he's UNF *tongue emoji*
*briefs selfie*
*face down, arse up nude selfie*
"Oh...um...he just sent me an arse picture.." Finn blushed.
"You get boys wet, what can we say?" Shane smirked, "Are you actually blushing?"
"Yes. Bratavio are the best thing I've ever seen and now it looks like one of them fancies me! Imagine someone you stan for sending you a nude!"
Knock knock knock.
"Who can that be?"
"See who it is," Finn said, typing a response to Bradley.
"You better not try it on, he's too young for you."
"What do you take me for?"
"A massive hoe?"
"Shut up and get the door!" sassed FInn.
FinnBalor
Darling I'm flattered *monkey emojis* Do you know much about me? I'm almost twice your age...I'm 35. I'm also taken, sorry. Doesn't mean I don't think you're incredible *kissy emoji*
BradleyHuntUK
I like older men ;) if youre ever in Birmingham and want some fun hehehe *kissy emoji* but tbh im flattered a hot wrestler likes us :P xxxxx
FinnBalor
I'm a bottom I'm afraid *cheeky monkey emoji*
BradleyHuntUK
Always the hot ones *smoke from nose emoji* *wink emoji* btw you have an amazing ass ;)
FinnBalor
Suppose I can give you this...you can look but ya cant touch hehe
He browsed his camera roll.
FinnBalor
*face down, arse up selfie with tongue out*
BradleyHuntUK
*water drop emojis* I'll keep this ;) and thanks again for the Twitter luv *heart emoji* hunni xx
FinnBalor
More than welcome darling *kissy emoji* KEEP SLAYING *crown emojis*
BradleyHuntUK
Oh we will *nail paint emojis*
"OHHH FERGIEEEE?" camped Shane, "I have a surprise for you!"
"Put it on the table," Finn said, not looking up "Just going for a wee."
He minced out to the downstairs toilet, phone glued to his one good arm.
"Engrossed in his phone as usual," chuckled Sami Zayn, "HEY!"
He protested as Shane heaved him up with ease and placed him on the coffee table.
"He did say put his surprise on the table?" Shane grinned, "OOOh Peanut Butter M&Ms.."
"They're for Fergal.."
"He can share," Shane swiped the bag and tore it open.
"You're a greedy little shit," complained Sami, "I know about you and your candy snarfing habits."
"And what of it? Fergal doesn't eat candy anyway. You should know."
"He's healing!"
"So? He should still be watching his figure."
"Who you talking to?" Finn had sashayed back in.
"Hey.." Sami waved adorably from the table.
"This was my surprise?" Finn gushed, eyes turning into sparkly pink hearts once again as Sami stood up and embraced him.
"Yup," grinned Sami, nuzzling and kissing the happy Irish sprite.
"Shane's been helping me decorate the house for fall," FInn said, "What do you think?"
It was then that Sami took in the bowls of fir cones, cinnamon sticks, twigs and oranges on the table; the glass candleholders filled with whole shelled hazelnuts, and the tiny pumpkins on the DVD shelves (they were being sold as 'munchkins' down at Walgreens and Finn just had to have them based on the name!).
"I bet he didn't even notice," Shane smirked, already a good two-thirds into the bag of M&Ms.
"I did...I love the maple wreath," Sami smiled.
"I saw it and had to have it...thought it would be a reminder of home for you.." simpered Finn.
"Is it my cue to leave?" Shane piped up, "You won't need me now a big strapping otter has shown up?"
He was being a naughty boy and flirting playfully with Sami now Finn had shown him that nude. He was beginning to totally see why Finn was so crazy about the redhead. Sami gave off that klutzy purity with his slacks, animated hand gestures when he talked and of course, that flat cap...but he had a hot body underneath. Not that Shane would ever consider trying to take his friend's man...but damn. He should have looked at Zayn more when he had the chance. Never mind. There were other hot flame-haired otters (foxes) out there to be had.
"You don't have to," Finn pouted.
"I'm fine...oh by the way...show him Bratavio.." smirked Shane.
"WHat's that, a kind of Italian stew?" asked Sami.
"Our Halloween costumes," Shane said, "Well, must dash."
He downed the last of the M&Ms, tossing the now empty bag at Sami who side-eyed him so hard, before sashaying gaily out of the house, humming to himself.
"Greedy bastard...these were meant to be for you," pouted Sami.
"I can cope," smiled Finn, "I'm just happy you've come home.."
More kisses.
"So what was this Bratt thing he was talking about?" asked Sami, "Halloween costumes?"
"Omigod you MUST see this. You know the XFactor?"
"Yeah...?"
"Just WATCH!" squealed Finn excitedly, picking up his iPad which was still on the ITV website.
Sami's eyes widened. This was gay on another level. Not really his thing, but it warmed his heart to see how happy it made Finn. He knew of course how Finn got about anyone who dared to tell flamboyant, feminine guys to 'tone it down' and these two guys were going at it 200% on British television.
But Sami couldn't help tapping his foot to 'Barbie Girl'. Damn it! OK he kinda liked that. Those guys couldn't sing for toffee but hey, it was entertaining. Enzo Amore's in ring ability was limited but he was the most entertaining man in WWE by a good country mile.
"So you and Shane want to dress as them for Halloween?" he snorted.
"YAAAAS."
"So you don't want to be Katya from Drag Race All Stars then like you were on about last week?"
"I'd have to shave for that.."
"But neither of those guys have beards.." Sami said.
"I want Bradley's shorts like no tomorrow.." Finn gushed, "Oh...hehehehe *extremely camp giggle*...um...Sami...would you be mad if I told you that Bradley...he's the wee blond by the way...um...he Dm'd me today..."
"Did he now...Fergal. What have you been playing at?" play-scolded Sami.
"I didn't do anything!" Finn was blushing, "I just tweeted how amazing I thought they were and he just slid into my DMs...he sent me nudes Rami..."
"Well Fergal, you are beautiful, I can't blame him for that," Sami smiled.
"Shush. You must think I'm such a cheap ho."
"Did you send anyting in return..?"
"Yeah...I did tell him I was taken and a bottom but well...I sent a booty shot."
"Fergal. How can I be mad when Zack doesn't know I'm here..." Sami grinned, "I'm cheating on my fiance with you. Hey, if you made a Brit TV guy happy, who am I to judge?"
"I won't do it again, I got a wee bit caught in the moment."
"Well, what's left to do with the house?" Sami said, stretching, so his tee rode up. Finn's eyes went south, spotting the waistband of Sami's briefs...wait...Trophy Boy? That was a jock.
Oh SAMI.
Finn just grinned cheekily.
"Underwear is compulsory," he camped.
"Good," Sami was peeling his tee off, "This state's lack of seasons is getting old now. So sweaty."
"Shorts too," FInn said.
"Oh already there," Sami said, his well-proportioned, muscular furry body now shown off in an Andrew Christian Trophy Boy jock. His ass, still smooth (he'd not stopped manscaping down there) was framed in bright colours.
"Wow..." Finn was drooling.
"Want me to help you off with those?" smiled Sami.
"Have all my arm stuff on. I got such a telling off from the doctors for having sex with you...but I'm making good progress. You can take me shorts off if you like."
"Oh I'd like very much," teased Sami, "Sit."
Finn perched on the armchair, raisng his legs obediently as Sami kneeled down to whip his shorts off.
Finn then stood up to show off his tight, skimpy green briefs. Across the booty was written 'Pinch Me, I'm Irish'.
"FERGAL.." Sami was doubled over in laughter.
"What? Bex bought me these donkeys years ago, thought I'd break them out," Finn grinned, "Well. You not gonna pinch it?"
"Prefer to slap it," Sami teased, spanking him.
"Owww...harder."
"Behave."
"But Sami..."
"Right...house decoration," Sami said loudly, "What's left to be done?"
"Just carving the pumpkins," Finn said, "Only so much I can do with one arm."
"Maybe tomorrow," Sami smiled, "Let's just chill. I'll cook."
"Yaaay.." Finn nuzzled him. But seeing Sami in just a jock was making him horny. He climbed onto the redhead's lap.
"Behave. I got a slapped wrist from Dr Sampson for risking your shoulder," Sami said, though he wouldn't mind some fun to release some tension off the road. His phone was on airplane mode so Zack couldn't harass him. He still hadn't come up with a way to break off this doomed engagement yet.
"I can have sex with one arm," Finn whispered sultrily, grinding against Sami's bulge. He began to kiss him more deeply.
"Fergal...baby..." Sami was writhing. He was feeling a certain way in this jock. He'd seen some gifs of a porn flick on Tumblr featuring a bottom who looked terrifyingly like him. And he was craving to be that again. But how could he sweet talk Finn into switching for the first time?
"Mmmhmm?" Finn began to kiss his neck.
"Would you...*moan*...ever be open to new stuff with me?"
"How do you mean darlin?" Finn's accent was thicker than ever.
"Well...you do pack quite some heat," Sami began to stroke the bulge in Finn's green briefs.
"Rami I don't top. It does nothing for me," Finn whispered, "I don't even like being wanked off in sex."
Damnit. Maybe once Finn was healed, Sami could try and persuade him again.
The smaller man climbed off.
A damp spot was visible in the green fabric.
Sami stood up.
"Want to go upstairs?" he asked.
"Please. Sorry Rami but it's so little I get to see you and now you're my boyfriend I want to make the most of your visits.."
"You don't have to explain yourself to me," Sami said gently, kissing him and stroking his pretty face, "We have obstacles. We can just work around them and keep that arm safe."
"I have talented hips *camp giggle*."
"And don't I know that," smiled Sami, "Get your Irish ass up those stairs."
"Sorry I can't get naked this time," Finn said sadly, padding out of the room with lots of hip sway and fem wiggling.
"I get to look at your pretty face, that's enough for me," Sami said, following him out. Why couldn't he have just said no to Zack and just realised sooner that he was in love with Finn? None of this cloak and dagger stuff. But never mind. Soon they could be together officially.
Finn was sat on the bed, awaiting him.
Sami peeled the jockstrap off.
Finn leaned back and raised his legs so Sami could relieve him of the briefs, being careful to not put too much weight on his slinged-up shoulder and arm.
Sami peeled off the briefs, Finn's enchanting scent creeping into his nostrils.
"When I'm healed you can rip them off with your teeth," Finn had a wicked smile now, "How would you like me darlin?"
"What position would put the least strain on your shoulder? Hang on baby...no no stay where you are...allow me."
Sami crawled onto the bed and positioned himself behind Finn, who immediately rolled to lean on his good arm. Mmmmm. This could be intimate. Just make him ooooh, Sami. That's all he asked.
"Lube is in the drawer," FInn whispered, "Just be gentle darlin."
"Your house, you set the rules."
"OUR house now."
"Oh...yeah...ha...keep forgetting. Been a while since I had a chance to come back to Orlando!" Sami was rummaging in the drawer for the lubricant. No poppers this time. He coated his fingers and slowly began to insert them inside the beautiful, silky-smooth bubble butt.
"Ahhhhhh..." gasped Finn in deep pleasure.
"Miss me?"
"Mmm hmm...ahhhhh...ahhh...ahhh...yeah..."
"Feel good?"
"Perfect. You're just so good with your hands darlin."
Sami was now coating himself very generously. Time to make Finn happy. He had such an amazing ass. Sami would be happy just spending time playing with it. But he knew Finn needed more than just idle assplay. Finn raised his right leg to give Sami easier access to his opening.
Slowly...slowly...Sami eased himself in.
"Ahh...oww...owww go slower.."
"Sorry baby..."
"In a bit...ahhhh yeah...ahhh ahh...oh Rami that feels so nice...oh so deep darlin.."
Sami was now embedded inside the elder, smaller man.
Finn hadn't had it on his side on a while. Oh it felt so GOOD. So intimate. And he could kiss Sami with no strain on his delicate shoulder and repairing pec. He jsut wished he was as naked as the redhead. Didn't feel right with his Furby tee and full sling on but he had to put his health first.
Sami began to move in and out, taking his time to go nice and deep...relishing the high-pitched 'ahh ahhh ahhh's leaving Finn's glossed, pouty lips, a look of pure contentment on his pretty face.
"Ahhh...ahhhh...ahhh..."
"Good boy...good boy.." Sami purred, "Baby..."
"Ahhhhhhhh! AHH...oh darlin just there.."
Sami had hit his prostate just right and he was craving more. He wanted to be OWNED. But he knew he had to keep it gentle. Sami began to thrust in and out harder, without risking hurting Finn's shoulder. He held the 190lb warmth steady as he used his hips to pleasure him.
"AHhhh...ahhh...ahhhhh...ahhhh...ahhhh.."
Finn sounded so feminine.
And Sami liked that.
He slowly peppered Finn's neck with kisses.
"Ahhhh...ahh...mmm...nnnn...mmm..." Finn turned around, desperate for kisses, whining against Sami's bristled lips.
Sami obeyed and kissed him.
"Ahhh...oh Rami...please don't stop.."
"I won't baby.."
"Wanna be your baby.."
"You are...ohhh fuck...sorry you're so tight I'm not gonna last.." whispered Sami.
"Oh please...please..." Finn wanted to feel Sami cum inside him, wriggling so his prostate took even more stimulation, "Ahhhh ahhh...wanna...wanna cum with you...ahhhh don;'t stop darlin..."
Sami could feel it...the tight warmth was causing him to boil up inside...ideally he wouldn't have minded doing this with something stimulating his own prostate but he had a dildo he could use on the road to sate that...right now it was about pleasing Finn.
Finn was perched on a chair in his kitchen, watching Sami cook. The redhead was now more modestly dressed in a Misfits tee and grey sweatpant shorts, and insisted Finn rest and that he would handle dinner by himself. They'd been having another one of those deep conversations about the art of wrestling and the state of the current product. Finn wasn't happy with the fact Sami was floating in no-mans-land on Raw.
"I'm on every live event," Sami said, "That's why I've not been back as much as I'd like. Don't worry about me when you should be concentrating on getting your fine ass back in the ring."
"But I do worry Sami," pouted Finn. Even though they were now a couple (behind ZSJ's back), he still preferred to call Sami by his ring name unless they were in bed. He didn't want to jinx this relationship by being on real name terms all the time. Plus everyone called Sami by his ring name generally. And 'SamiFinn' was a cute portmanteau.
"And it's sweet that you do," Sami smiled, "I've been told that my new merch hat has completely sold out everywhere. They legit have no more in stock. I think I'll be fine."
"I forgot to buy myself one...DAMNIT." Finn punched the table.
"Hey hey...calm down."
"I mean it Sami, I should always be buying your merch! You buy mine! I'm supposed to be your boyfriend!"
"Speaking of the merch," Sami said, "I posted a Snapchat in a Balor Club tee and got hell-for-leather from Zack about it. He demanded to know why I'm not buying Suplex Wrestling apparel."
"He didn't?"
"He did."
"Sami you need to just end it. The longer you leave it, the more likely I'm going to say something. I don't want to hide us forever darlin. The fans love to ship us."
"Let them suspect Fergal. Our relationship should be our business, not the fans."
"True," Finn admitted, "Zack's been messaging me about planning the wedding...it's the most uncomfortable I've ever been."
"Oh GOD..." Sami sighed.
"See what I mean?" Finn said, "He is still my friend and you just need to be cruel to be kind. Just tell him you're not ready for that kind of commitment."
"He won't buy that. He used to make fun of me for wanting marriage remember? And why can't I just tell him about us? What you more worried about Fergal? Us or your friendship with him?"
"Because he can be a malicious wee queen. Plus I'm still hurt by what Stuart did."
"You did kinda screw him over...albeit with me...ahem...and Cody.."
"So you can't get on your wee soapbox, Sadie," smirked Finn, "How long's your pumpkin got left?"
"Ten minutes."
"Shouldn't you be prepping your veg for the soup rather than chatting?"
"Watch it," Sami waved the knife in his direction, "Don't get bossy."
"I'm hungry," Finn said, "Especially for your cooking."
"I've been told my pumpkin and chilli soup is legendary," Sami said, getting busy chopping up an onion and an apple, "Sure soup is all you want?"
"I have an idea, lemme just ring ma.." Finn dialled his mother and placed his phone on loudspeaker.
Pick up.
"Hello love.."
"Hi ma...hey...can you message me your soda bread recipe please? Sami's cooking his famous pumpkin soup.."
"Is he now? How is your shoulder?"
"Talk more later...Sami needs to know hehe."
"Thought of you when watching XFactor by the way," his mother laughed.
"BRATAVIO GIVE ME LIFE!" squealed Finn, "Vote to keep them in!"
"Hi Mrs Devitt," Sami said, "Fergal's already been DMing one of them on Twitter."
"Has he now," laughed Finn's mother, "Well there's a surprise."
"MOTHER. Soda bread. Flour..." Finn blushed.
"You are not too old to put over my knee young man do you hear?" his mother was clearly laughing over her stern voice, "Buttermilk, baking soda..."
Sami was rummaging in the cupboards and fridge.
"No buttermilk," he said.
"Regular milk and a wee bit of lemon or vinegar," Finn's mother replied instantly, "Handle it as little as possible...slash a cross in the top and bake for 40 minutes at 180. Or the equivalent."
"Ok Delia," Finn giggled, "Or should I say, Rachel. Speak later ma. Love you."
"Love you. Take care darling. Tara for now."
She hung up.
"How much flour?" asked Sami.
"A pound, I used to help her in the kitchen when I was a wee boy," Finn beamed, "A gill of milk..."
"A what?!"
"About a cup. She had an old jug."
"You're an old jug."
"SAMI."
"What's 180?"
"350. And remember no kneading."
"Since when did you become a baking expert?"
"Because my ma is a baking queen? And Eden's cookies slay my life."
"They are fucking good. Aww she's such a loss to WWE."
"She'll make TNA worth watching."
"That was the best soda bread in ages," Finn sighed happily, "You're almost as good as ma."
"Considering how highly you rate her cooking I'm taking that as a huge compliment," Sami said, "I'll pay for the carbs later."
"SAMI. Enjoy yourself. And that's coming from ME. When the sling comes off, I'm gonna bake for you."
"Could it be naked baking?" Sami teased.
"Oh I'm sure I can manage that." Finn smiled, "Your soup is just...I missed that from NXT. OOooh...can I come with you to Canada when you go spruce picking?!"
"Awww..." smiled Sami, "Course you can. I warn you though, I will shoo you out when it comes to brewing the beer. I have my own way of doing things."
"Don't give any to that messy bitch," Finn sassed, "I'm so over her. And I think so is Summer."
"It's sad. I know I used to read her for filth all the time but I was legit sad about Saraya and Summer breaking up," Sami sighed, "I don't like what Del Rio has made her into. It's like she's trying to forget she ever dated a woman."
"I want to know if Summer and Stella Kae are together," Finn said, "I hope they are."
"Me too. Saraya needs to grow the fuck up," Sami replied, "Fergal...what are you doing..."
Finn was tapping away on his phone, giggling naughtily.
He was posting the rather mean meme somebody made, featuring a backstage photo of Paige and AJ Lee back in the days when Paige was NXT women's champion and AJ was Divas Champion, with 'When you love to wrestle but dick is life' superimposed on top. He captioned it with the nail paint emoji, the frog emoji, and the coffee emoji.
"FERGAL!" Sami was cracking up as he saw Finn's tweet, "You are such a shady bitch."
"How long have you known me?"
"What if she picks a fight with you?"
"Let her. I'll just spill the tea on why she's really suspended...in fact, I may have already."
"How? Fergal...tell me."
"I told a gossip site anonymously. Don't do drugs, kids."
"Fergal. You scored some cocaine to take with Cody and me!"
"Just as a one-off."
"Fergal. Just remember who else witnessed that."
"Oh. Shit. Ah well. Who'd believe her over squeaky-clean Finn Balor?" Finn did the 'sassy girl' emoji with his hand as he crossed one leg over the other. His tiny shorts rode up even more.
"What if her mom comes after you?"
His phone began to ring.
It was Paige.
"Answer it then," Sami said with a grin. Usually it was him facing up to making fun of her. But he was glad it wasn't this time, what with Zack emulating her tattoo and all.
"What?" sassed Finn, answering.
"You can take that shit down right now Devitt!" barked the heavily accented fury of not Paige but Alberto Del Rio.
"Awww did she get the man in to tell the big bad bully off?" Finn's bad bitch self was back in full flow.
"You're a coward Devitt. I will come to Orlando and break your other shoulder."
"Like to see you try old man. Will you get your wee bit of skirt to hold me down while you do it?"
"RAYA AND I ARE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP!" roared Alberto, accent thicker than ever in his rage.
"Who ya tryin' to convince darlin? Me or yourself? I'm not the middle aged divorcee chasing young slappers."
Sami was doubled over in mirth, covering his mouth. MEOW! OK he took it back. Finn's sharp tongue gave him life. At least when it was used on mutual enemies like that.
"You are disgusting," snarled Alberto, "I will have you fired perro."
"Correction Bertie. 80% sexy, 20% disgusting," clapped back Finn.
"You will regret this..." Alberto was apoplectic.
Finn just gave a malicious grin.
"Regret is a dish best served cold - wait no, that's revenge," he said. Oh yes. He managed to get in two of his favourite Katya Zamolodchikova quotes into this one conversation! Oh he was so proud of himself! And he bet Alberto had no idea.
"Who is it on the phone papi?" came Paige's voice from the background, "Papi you OK?"
"Hang up.." hissed Sami.
Finn did so.
"Meee-ow," Sami sighed, "Oh my God...you killed me."
"If you watch Drag Race with me like I keep begging you to, you'll get more of the references Coddles, Shane and I make," Finn said, sucking his thumb.
"Fergal. You know it's not my thing. You and Cody managed to get me to sit through the whole first season on the road but I really don't think..."
"Come on!" Finn got to his feet, "Much as I love Forensic Files, it's my turn to choose what we watch on Netflix."
"But you watch the latest season, so you know who wins all the others, why sit through it all again?" complained Sami, following him into the lounge.
"Sambo I'm impressed you know who Alaska Thunderfuck and Katya Zamolodchikova are," grinned Finn, "And you also can at least appreciate Michelle Visage. I actually used two Katya quotes on Del Rio just now."
"Fergal I keep seeing people talk about them on Twitter...wait..you used...really?...jeez...fine, I can watch it with you."
"YAAAAY. You never know Sami, you may find you like it."
"But every gay man watches it. It's basic."
"How dare you call Ru basic, Drag Race is compulsory viewing if you enjoy sex with another man."
Finn fired up Netflix with his remaining arm.
"Let me set it up, sit that cute butt down," Sami ordered.
Finn perched on the sofa with a grin.
Sami began to search Netflix. He supposed he should broaden his own horizons a bit. At least now he'll finally get where Finn and Cody model themselves. He knew Zack watched Drag Race religiously.
Finn picked up his phone.
FinnBalor I feel like straight people need to calm down sometimes and reflect on their own choices *sassy girl emoji* *mexican flag* *Union Jack flag* *nail paint emoji*
"FERGAL.." Sami had sat back down, having put on episode one of season two of Drag Race, "Stop the shade throwing."
"Why? Admit it, you find it funny."
"I do but I also care about your career."
"I'll stop shading them when they split up," Finn said, leaning into Sami and nuzzling, making himself comfortable.
Perfection.
Sami's cooking. Sami's dick earlier. And now Sami was agreeing to watch RuPaul just for him!
A happy demon...is a fast-recovering demon.