Chapter 1 - The Aftermath.
Some real fresh air. Taking a deep breath, with the rain falling on his face he finally felt alive. As he looked around he saw a figure far off in the distance. Was it him? It couldn't be surely, he looked all wrong…
Suddenly, the ringing. As he clutched his head in agony he could've sworn that the figure was him, but as he looked up he wasn't there. But as he didn't get enough of a look to be sure, he dismissed it as his mind playing tricks on him. An EMT rushed up to him, speaking to him, putting a blanket around his shoulders. Leading him to the back of an ambulance to be checked. Everything is still ringing, a piercing sound that goes straight through his skull and makes his eyes water. Eventually, it subsides and the hubbub that surrounds begins to make its way into his head.
"Detective, are you okay? Can you hear me? Detective!"
The voice is concerned but full of authority and after his ordeal he is too tired and numb to do anything, is happy to be led and probed as the EMT does her thing. He stares at her badge with her name on it. Kiera. What a lovely name, he thinks. Suddenly, Kiera is pulling his face so that he looks her in the eyes;
"Detective Castellanos, talk to me. Are you in pain anywhere? You look like you're hurting."
He was hurting, Seb thought to himself. He was hurting more than he ever thought he could. He has had his left leg mauled by a chainsaw wielding maniac, been nearly choked numerous times by numerous enemies, has been burned, caught in bear traps, impaled, thrown around, grabbed by giant hands, shot, chased by countless nightmarish creatures, set alight and yet he is all in one piece. He looks at himself and expects blood to spurt forth but it doesn't. There is nothing. He knows he should feel happy about this but he feels nothing. Just numb.
As Kiera continued to check Seb over, she could see that there was something wrong. Something deeper inside him that was haunting him. Who knew what he had seen and experienced in the hospital in the duration of time he had been inside? His eyes were what unsettled her the most – there was no light, no spark in them. Just empty, grey pits inside his head. As she finished checking his blood pressure she looked him once over for what must've been for the fifth time. No visible injuries to be seen, but Kiera knew that injuries didn't have to be visible to be fatal. She just hoped this dark haired Detective would start speaking soon or she would get more scared of him than she already was.
Few things were running through Seb's mind as he sat in the back of that ambulance. There were many things fighting to be at the forefront of his mind but the one thought that prevailed over all was the aching sadness over the absence of Joseph and Julie. Well, he should refer to her as Kidman as that is what she preferred but in his mind she was no longer Kidman as she was most likely dead. His mind drifted back to Joseph and what could've happened to him, but no answers sprang forth. All that resulted was a deep, aching feeling that made him feel sick to his stomach. How could he continue without Joseph? It was him who had stuck with him after Myra and Lily, after he had drowned himself countless times in a bottle of whiskey – even when he had reported him to IA Joseph still tried to care. It wasn't his fault that Sebastian hadn't let him in again. All Seb had done was throw up a huge wall that every time Joseph tried to climb over, Seb made it higher.
And now Joseph was gone, most likely dead as well. Sebastian's world had truly collapsed around him. He processed all this silently, no expression on his face, no giveaway of the mental anguish he was going through. His mind kept on going back to that incident in the park, of that stray bullet that could've hit Sebastian but Joseph had jumped in front of it. For him. Why? All Seb could see was the crimson liquid bursting forth from Joseph's chest as he landed on the ground. The water was rising inside Seb, and no matter how he tried the dam couldn't hold it back. While Kiera was checking his pulse he erupted into tears and let out a heart wrenching sob that shook Seb to his very core. As the tears began to stream down his face he became aware of the EMT holding his head to her chest, stroking his head and telling him he was safe now. But none of that mattered, not to Seb. All he could think of was his partner and his wife and child, and they were the only three words he would say between sobs.
"Joseph… Myra… Lily…Why?!" He repeated, all the while clutching Kiera so tightly he was in danger of giving her a bear hug unlike any other she had received before. As his fingers dug into Kiera's back he squeezed her tightly, afraid of what would happen if he let go. Eventually, the flood subsided and Seb stopped crying for a moment. He let go of Kiera and looked down at his feet sheeplishly, wiping his eyes with the backs of his hands.
"I'm so sorry about that… Kiera,is that your name? I'm sorry for that display, I dunno what came over me."
Kiera looked at Seb with caring eyes and didn't say anything back. Just held out her arms and let him rest his head against her chest again.
"It's okay, I understand. I don't know what you've been through but judging from the way things are out here it's not nice at all in there. To be honest I am surprised you're as unharmed as you are, you're very lucky to not have more serious injuries!"
"I suppose I just got lucky…"
Seb's reply was muffled due to it being spoken through Kiera's jacket, but he made no effort to move his head. He was just too damn tired. The events of the past however long had finally sunk in, and the fact that he was such a stoic individual meant that any display of emotion would tire him out, let alone something of that magnitude. He normally would be embarrassed at such an event but right now he couldn't care less. He just wanted to sleep and sleep heavily. A bottle of single malt would see to that, Seb was sure of it. He just needed to get home.
Home. His shitty apartment that he had moved into after the fire, after he had lost his family. He had never thought that he would be so excited at the prospect of the place, of the warm shower and comfortable bed. With a great effort, he stood himself up.
"Thank you for that Kiera, I have to admit I feel slightly better now".
She laughed out loud and looked at the Detective as he stood – shakily - in front of her. He was slightly good looking, especially for someone who had obviously been through some kind of hell. His eyes weren't grey any more, which made her feel better.
"It's no problem, this isn't my first rodeo – but I have to say it's the first time I've had a Detective break down on me! Now that I've checked you over, you might want to go and speak to the chief for a debrief."
She indicated over to the right, in front of the hospital at the foot of the steps and sure enough there was the Chief Inspector Nick Jackman. After the disappearance of the previous CI Brown, his replacement had been pulled in from the ranks. Jackman had been in the force for as long as Seb could remember, and his grey hair and sunken eyes attested to that fact. He had only been promoted to CI because of his experience – he didn't want the job, he had made that clear and was only taking on the role until they could find a more suitable permanent replacement from another force. It seemed that all of the good offices in KCPD were dead or missing and that there weren't enough replacements to fill in the gaps. On seeing Seb look in his direction, Jackman dismissed the uniformed officer that was talking to him and walked over. Seb met him halfway so that they were alone – he could tell that the CI didn't have good news.
"Okay, so it seems that whoever is responsible for this shit show is nowhere to be seen, they have well and truly vanished into thin air. I've got seven officers dead and counting, more mental patients dead than you can imagine, another missing, on top of that two detectives are missing and we aren't finished yet. Please give me some good news Seb; tell me that you know what happened to Oda and Kidman!"
Jackman looked at Seb, expecting an answer. But what answer could Seb give? He last saw Joseph when they entered Beacon, last saw Kidman in what could've well been a dream state with all those shady suits around, for all he knew that was all part of the STEM and Kidman hadn't even gone into the hospital in the first place – after all Seb had told her to wait outside! He racked his brain to try and think of an answer he could give Jackman but none came. Eventually, he spoke.
"Honestly Nick, I haven't the faintest idea. They could still be in there or a thousand miles away. Neither of them were there when I woke up, truth be told I'm not sure of what happened in there and if they came out before me you would've found them right? If I knew anything you know I would tell you but I don't."
The lie hurt Seb, because he knew what had probably happened. Those people in suits had taken them – that is if they were real - or Ruvik had taken them someplace else while Seb was still attached to the STEM. All Seb knew was that there were so many questions he had, and no answers to them. He knew that things weren't over, that they had only just begun. He would find his partners and the truth if it was the last thing he did. He also had this feeling that everything was connected, that maybe Myra was still out there too. The thought of Myra being alive made Seb happy, because if he could find all three and get the truth behind the fire then he wouldn't have any reason to ever sink back into a bottle again, would he? Or maybe he would. Seb didn't need an excuse, not anymore.
As these thoughts raced through his head, Jackman walked back to the officer he had been speaking to previously. He then walked back to Seb clutching something in his arms.
"Hey, when the SWAT unit was clearing the lobby they found this in the Security room, figured you'd like to be reunited with it. It's got something wicked on it but I think a wash will get it out. Go home Seb, we will call you when we need you for questioning."
With that, he placed the bundle into Seb's hands and walked up the steps into Beacon Mental Hospital, leaving Seb standing in the cold evening air clutching his trenchcoat. It had been a gift from Myra some time ago, and since events had started Seb hadn't given it a second thought. But nevertheless he was comforted by its smell, by the feel of it on his body as he put it on and wrapped himself inside it. He walked over to a waiting patrol car that had its passenger door open – he knew that this was his lift home. He sank into the passenger seat and had his eyes shut before the door was closed behind him. Despite the fact he was tired, Seb didn't sleep. His closed eyes hid a raging battle that was going on inside his head – the questions he had, the anger he had at Ruvik, Jimenez and whoever else was behind the events at Beacon – it all ran around inside his head and refused to let him rest. He was damn sure that he would get to the bottom of this if it was the last thing he ever did. After a short while the car stopped, and Seb knew he was home. Getting out of the patrol car and grunting his thanks to the officer driving, he retreated into the lobby of his apartment building.
His place was on the second floor, and he always hid a spare key on top of the doorframe out of sight. Tonight he had no need for that though, as he had his keys in the inside pocket of his trenchcoat. Unlocking the door, Seb walked into his home and shut the door behind him. After everything that had happened, Seb just stood on the mat for what felt like ages – it all seemed so fucked up, to go through things like that, experience that level of fear and terror to come home alive and unharmed at the end of it. He was half expecting the apartment to start attacking him, to have a barbed wire wrapped maniac run out of the bathroom screaming clutching a sickle, but nothing happened. Eventually he worked up the courage to step off the mat and get himself sorted. Hanging his coat on the hook by the door, he took his shoes off and kicked them to the side unceremoniously. He walked straight to the bathroom, stripping off as he went. He stank like shit, probably hadn't showered in a while. He stripped completely naked and went to the sink. He looked in the mirror and the face that looked back wasn't one he recognised as his own.
The eyes were sunken and tired, with none of their usual shine that indicated any sign of life or love. His skin looked stretched tight across his skull, making his face look sharper and older than usual. Not that Seb was getting any younger, but the fact he looked so old nearly made him chuckle. But then he remembered who else looked like that.
His face was all burnt up, so his skin was stretched across his skull tightly. His eyes looked devoid of life, but they had an evil shine to them that could cut through glass. Seb began to feel himself sweat at the thought of that man's face, reminding him of the things he had put Seb through. He looked down to wipe his face, and when he looked back in the mirror it wasn't his face he saw.
Ruvik was staring back at him, no jacket on so his burns and scars were all the more visible, as was his glass side of his skull. And he was smiling. He looked Seb right in the eye with that cold, evil look and smiled at him. Seb jumped back, landing against the wall behind him and hitting his head. He clutched his head in agony and looked up in the mirror again – but Ruvik was gone, and all Seb could see was his own ghostly pale face, with a look of pure horror etched on its features. He looked at himself a while longer, expecting Ruvik to appear again but he didn't. Once he was satisfied that Ruvik wasn't going to be back to steal his face, he stepped into his walk in shower and turned up the heat as far as he could take it and put up the power as high as it would go.
He scrubbed himself hard, turning his skin pink with the effort of trying to wash away the recent events. He got shampoo in his eye when he was washing his hair but after the discomforts of Beacon it didn't seem to bother him that much. He must've stood under the shower for a long time because the water stopped feeling hot to his skin. Eventually he turned off the shower and stepped out, drying himself with the nearest towel available to him. As he was drying his hair he caught a faint smell from the towel.
This must've been the towel he used to clean up the drink he split on the bathroom floor last week. He'd decided to have a bath and have a whiskey while he was at it – but his hands had been wet so he had dropped the glass, breaking it and spilling its amber contents all over the floor. Funny how he remembered that. Since the whole drama with Joseph and IA Seb had really, really tried to cut down on the drink. For his sake as much as Josephs and the force. Truthfully, for the most part it had worked but he did like a glass or four of an evening. Then again who didn't? That's how Seb justified it in his head anyway. He debated whether or not to go and pour himself a glass now, or maybe just grab the bottle – but he was so tired that he didn't see the point in wasting the energy going to get a bottle that was basically empty anyway – for a half full one maybe he could stretch to it but nothing less. He got into some slacks and an old baggy motorhead t-shirt from his gym pile and pulled it on. He sank into bed within seconds, his body almost in shock from the sudden comfort and gentle touch of his bed compared to the treatment it had been used to of late. He was so tired… but sleep wouldn't come.
In the back of his mind Seb was still panicking about the darkness, what loomed there and what could jump out at him at any second. He wasn't usually someone to be scared of shadows but the events at Beacon had really fucked with his head. Twisting reality, being inside someone else's mind while connected up with other people… None of it made any fucking sense. What had happened to Joseph and Kidman? Had he killed Connelly in the STEM or had he been caught by Ruvik at a later date? Why did the 'organisation' cut Ruvik up and let him be the virtual god of their machine anyway? Surely they could tell he was a fucking lunatic? All of this and more was spinning round in Seb's head but he wasn't any closer to finding any answers. Not here lying in bed he wasn't anyway.
Between all of the questions he had and all of the vivid flashbacks that were looping in front of his eyes, he knew sleep wouldn't come anytime soon.
'Might as well use the time to process what the fuck actually happened then, huh?' Seb muttered to himself.
Reaching into his bedside drawer, he got out a notebook and pen and just began writing. Everything that he could remember about Ruvik, what had happened inside the STEM and to who, all of his theories why were jotted down in this notebook. His hand was flying across the paper, writing so quickly he was getting ink stains all over his palm but he didn't stop. He just wrote and wrote and wrote until his hand cramped up so badly that he had to stop. He used the time to review what he had written. One word kept on repeating itself over and over again, especially where Ruvik was concerned. Mansion. Mansion. Mansion mansion mansion. Everything about Ruvik that he knew could all be linked back to the mansion and its surrounding area. And Seb knew that the best place for him to get answers from about everything else would likely be there too, as Ruvik probably had hidden his files someplace deep inside the bowels of the place. As he had suspected that he was going to be betrayed by Jimenez it only made sense for him to store some kind of bailout or failsafe in a secret place. What place more secret than his family home? Seb hesitated for a moment - Beacon also would be the perfect place to store said items – but the thought of going back in there made Seb's hair stand on end, let alone the fact that by now the Feds would be all over it, plus whoever or whatever the organisation was would probably be keeping an eye on him. Seb smelt a deep, dark web of conspiracy and corruption and he was going to make sure he wasn't caught in it. If he wanted his answers then he would have to do this one off the books, on his own time and in secret. He knew deep down that Myra was the fire were linked somehow, to someone. They had to be! The thought of finally getting some closure on the events surrounding Myra's disappearance and the fire that had claimed his daughter gave Seb some hope.
Something that he hadn't felt for a long time, since long before Beacon and the STEM and the fire. It felt like a lifetime ago but in reality it was no more than three or four years since Seb had held Lily in his arms and fallen asleep next to Myra in their wonderful home. Three or four years since he had a normal life. The memories than began to wash over Seb were too much for him to bear at the moment, so he made a conscious effort to shut them out so he could focus on thinking about the here and now. He began to write again, detailing what he would do and when. He would go to the mansion first thing tomorrow? No, too soon after Beacon to be going around asking questions. Surely it would be being watched and if some shady ass guy turns up in Elk River asking about the burned out family mansion alarm bells will ring for someone somewhere. And that means attention. Attention is the last thing Seb would want attached to him right now. When the media shit hits the fan he would get enough attention to last a fucking lifetime! Plus, he was feeling pretty rough right now. The voice of reason told Seb to take a few days to rest and get his shit together before he did anything else. Now THAT was advice he could take. Satisfied with himself, he stopped writing and got more comfortable in bed.
'What is this shitstorm you are walking into, Castellanos?' he asked the empty air -`as if he expected an answer. After listening to the silence for a few moments, Seb began to genuinely feel sleepy. Tomorrow he would figure out more. Tomorrow he would take his first steps in taking back control of his life. He shut his eyes and straightaway fell asleep, still clutching the pen and notebook in his hands.