make me smile
by
Bethany Ten
To Hakkai, Sanzo is the problem-solver, a problem-stealer, a god in his own right. Sanzo is brilliant and clinical and everything Hakkai admires but does not want to be.
To Goku, Sanzo is the sun—brighter than the sun, a hair-trigger temper, shuttered eyes that reveal nothing of the beauty past the purple-tinged window. Everything.
To Sanzo, Sanzo is the failure, the imperfect disciple of the perfect priest, the trophy, the puppet. The only expectations he lives up to are the ones he doesn't realize existed until the last possible moment, when he is met with approving smiles and warm eyes, and he wonders if every "good deed" he has performed in his life essentially culminates into one fat cosmic accident. What the fuck he's done right. What the fuck he's done wrong.
Then Gojyo looks at him.
Just looks, as though he sees some rust amidst all the blinding gold.
Then Gojyo opens his mouth, that stupid, sensual mouth, and says, You are also human.
Get off your high horse. You're just you.
And then Sanzo clasps his hand to his mouth under the pretense of tending to a cigarette, just to hide his aching smile and stinging eyes.