Author's Notes: This fic is equally Rodney and Carson centric, but contains the other Atlantis characters. Not Beta read, so please forgive any errors. Set after the episode Trinity.
"Rodney?!"
The scientist looked up towards the source of the voice.
"Carson?"
"Rodney, please...don't."
Rodney looked up at the doctor standing in the doorway. Carson dare not move, in fear of making Rodney do anything hasty. His breath hitched in his throat, his heart pounded so that the blood thudded audibly in his ears. Rodney looked sullen, and exhaled.
"You weren't supposed to see this..." he grumbled. "I didn't ... didn't want to ... make you watch."
Carson focused very hard on keeping his voice level and appearing calm, despite the panic attack he was having.
"Watch what, Rodney?"
The doctor didn't get a verbal response, just a sway and a look. He seemed to be drooping, loosing the ability to sit upright. This deeply concerned the doctor, whose eyes darted about the room frantically gathering information. There was the computer on the desk in front of Rodney, some empty wine bottles scattered about, but other than that there seemed nothing out of place. Rodney gave a smile, but it was an empty, wistful smile.
"I, er... left you ...a note."
Rodney's words stabbed Carson painfully in the chest. The Scot's blue eyes pleaded with Rodney.
"Rodney, please... let's talk, I can help."
"No, it's alright. Everything's alright now." Rodney said with the same empty smile. He glanced behind him towards the bed, only a few metres from the table he was seated at.
"Carson... I don't want you to...to see. Please go."
"Well that's not bloody happening." Carson retorted, more forcefully than intended. He was standing on eggshells, and one wrong move could break everything he held dear. Rodney looked at him with sad eyes. "I'm not leaving you Rodney. Just relax and let me come in. We'll talk this through... just don't do anything rash..."
"Do?" Rodney asked as he stood, wobbling and steadying himself on the table. He made a move to walk to his bed, but his body looked like it was going to fail him. Carson couldn't hold back the panic now, he was desperately trying not to hyperventilate but his mind wouldn't stop telling him that Rodney's behaviour said he was already too late.
"There's nothing to do... it's already done." Rodney straightened himself, ready to lay on the bed after just one more thing. "Goodbye, Carson."
Rodney then collapsed to the floor, unable to reach the bed. Carson dove towards his friend, tears now flowing down his cheeks.