So this is my first time on this site! And I decided to start off with The Avengers. Spoilers if you haven't watched the movie! Also, there's a reason why this is crack! Not really romance. I suck at romance lol.

Also, I just want to say this is NOT a self-insert. I wanted to explore the dynamic of an average civilian and a superhero and see where that would take me.

Clint Barton knew the moment he stepped onto this team he'd be walking into a minefield of trip-wire egos and passive aggressive.

So he watched. From a distance. He was good at this. He excelled at this. There was a reason why they called him Hawkeye. He was an observer, not an instigator. He'd much rather leave the petty insults and backhanded compliments to powerhouse industrialists like Tony Stark or old, sagacious wise men beyond their time like Steve Rogers—maybe even Thor. He was a god, after all. He was bound to be worldlier than the lot of them combined.

Naturally, Hawkeye knew this meant casualty.

But never once did he quite expect, in the midst of all the warfare, aliens, and bridges to other dimensions, for Tony Stark to throw a bone in his direction.

Correction: all two hundred and six of them.

Her landing was neither smooth nor graceful. And this was one civilian who ended up toppling him over into the rubble ground of the high roof. Had she been two inches off margin, Hawkeye's tooth surely would've made contact with the ledge, and he would've ended up with a chip.

"Sorry ol' boy. Damsel here was caught up half a block down. Alien snake started after me. And you just happened to be in the right place at the right time," Tony stated casually through the mic.

"Lucky me," Hawkeye deadpanned right back into the receiver.

"Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so sorry."

When he felt the weight lift off his back, Hawkeye managed push himself onto his knees, trying to smooth the kinks from his neck with his free hand. In an effort to avoid wasting time, he raised his bow, not even bothering to spare the girl next to him a glance as he stated monotonously, "It's fine," and with added gesture to make her realize that certain things couldn't be helped in a time like this, "it wasn't your fault."

A certain suit of armor, on the other hand…

But she didn't seem to register this as quick when she made a move forward, "Are you okay? I know I must've hit you hard. I was so high up in the air. I mean—I failed high school physics completely, but even I know that the higher you fall, the harder you hit. Oh my God, did I break something? I did—I know it. I felt something crack when I hit," and it was only here she sucked in a deep breath to continue, "oh my God, did I break you?"

Rambling. He resisted the urge to groan. This would happen to someone like him. He would get stuck with somebody like her. Now he could see why Stark dropped her off so fast.

This girl talked a million beats a second.

Hawkeye turned, pulled back his arrow and set his gaze on the girl standing in front of him.

She couldn't have been more than twenty. She was young, and her dress was in tatters.

She looked like hell.

And for a moment, he considered this; she was a common citizen of New York City standing in the middle of a very apparent war. A war she never asked for and a war she probably never would understand. For a moment, he considered the fact that she wasn't one of them. Not one of the Avengers. Helpless. No superpowers, no weapons, nothing.

She was human.

(but so was he)

She tensed up and froze. Mechanically, she raised her hands into the air in an act of surrender.

The arrow slipped and rammed into the face of a Chitauri who stood no more than a few feet behind her.

She squeaked when she felt a mass at her feet and reveled in the fact that it was an enemy.

"You need to get out of here," Hawkeye stated as-a-matter-of-factly. He could actually try out a little bit of warmth for the sake of humanity and empathizing but that'd never been his style and they were standing in the middle of a battlefield. This wasn't a game, and he couldn't afford to be nice for the sake of being nice. Beating around the bush was not his forte, and he was taught better than that. First priority was to get about saving lives before worrying about the emotional trauma that came afterward.

What was that thing Natasha said? This isn't anything we were ever trained for.

Besides, he was a master freaking assassin—not Captain America. If and when he put on the jumpsuit with red stripes wired over blue, maybe he'd consider being a little more pleasant (and patriotic).

He wasn't there for people to like him.

"Right!" she bowed slightly, "Thank you. I really appreciate it. Um—what's your name?"

He paused before answering, "Hawkeye," he answered tersely, for the sake of keeping his identity secret.

"That's really your name?" she asked, genuinely surprised.

He blanched at her question and resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "No, of course that's not really my name," he stated, the calm and patience in his reserve depleting at an alarming rate.

"Oh so what's your real name?" she asked curiously.

"None of your business," he replied starkly. How can one human being possibly be so annoying?

"...okay," she said dumbly after a moment's hesitation, "Hawkeye," she looked like she didn't like the taste in her mouth, "I'm Leia. But people call me Lee," not that he really cared.

Not that he would remember in the next T minus three minutes. He had a freaking war to worry about. But he could see from the corner of his eye that she was shaking. Jittery. Today, she was anxiety personified but he knew better than anybody that after this, Lee would probably be appreciating her life more than she could imagine.

Being on the edge of death could do that to people.

Him, on the other hand...he was already immune and desensitized to this kind of shit.

Hawkeye grimaced and made a gesture to the door with his head. This seemed to register to her quickly as the smile faded from her lips. She nodded, "Um, thanks. For this. And everything," and the words she never said aloud: for saving my life and all. She took off in the opposite direction while he turned around to see the status of the city at hand.

From this distance, he could see three Chitauri headed dangerously close to Natasha and the Captain, who already had their hands full with evacuating the citizens, still left standing. So he reached into the pack on his back and fished out a single explosive arrow.

He pulled and felt that bowstring stretch taut.

Three.

Two.

"Um, sorry to bother you again…but—the stairs are gone."

One.

And the string went slack as the arrow pierced the air. Even with the sudden distraction, it still made contact with the ankle of one of the Chitauri, blowing his two comrades into smithereens. Not quite how Hawkeye planned it out, but this unintentional little improvisation worked in this case.

He didn't think he'd be so lucky the next time. There wasn't much in archery that he could improvise on a whim.

And he wasn't the kind of guy to take risks.

Hawkeye rubbed furiously at his temple, and turned around, "What are you still doing here?"

Lee blushed furiously and gestured towards the exit he'd pointed out for her earlier, "The stairs. They're gone."

"What do you mean they're gone?"

She sucked in a deep breath, "Blown up. They aren't there anymore—they're—"

One Chitauri made his way up the side of the building behind her.

Clint raised his arrow.

"—um, decimated? Only half of them are left. And…you can't expect me to jump down, right? I'm jumping down a fifty story high building—"

Five more appeared behind Chitauri as they scaled from behind Lee.

Followed by another seven.

Suddenly, he lowered his bow.

Still blissfully unaware, Lee continued to ramble on, avoiding his gaze while she stared at the burning buildings in the backdrop, "—did I mention I have a mortifying fear of heights? Who doesn't! I mean, I will forever be indebted to Iron Man but oh my goodness had it not been for that fall, I surely would've died of mini-heart attack!"

She was panicking.

"I mean—isn't that just the craziest thing you've ever—"

Shit.

Hawkeye made a dash forward, grabbed her by the arm and dragged her towards the ledge.

Her eyes widened and the only thing she could make out was a "Oh, please God no, I'd rather be," and a mild (and subsequent failed) attempt at running back towards those Chitauri before he tucked her under her arm, pulled that arrow back, and fell backwards into a free-fall.

…that was until the arrow attached itself into the side of the building.

And then they went crashing into the glass.

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