Driving Lessons
(Or Something
Like that)
Disclaimer: I own nothing but what you see here. A fun little thing that I thought up and then discussed with Alexiablackbriar13. Takes place during early season 1. Also, special thanks to OllieLovesDinah for their wonderful reviews on 'Canary's Company' and 'What Happens In Russia, Is Really None Of Your Business'. I'm happy to know those two fics were really something you enjoyed. You're also kind of making me want to go and read some GA/BC comics despite the fact I haven't ever done that before.
If there was one thing Thea Queen wanted to do, it would be finally learning how to properly drive! And no one she knew, which included Quentin 'Grumpy Ass' Lance would teach her after they all had given her just one lesson. As apparently it was just too nerve wracking to teach her. Something she thought was complete bull since they refused to explain why. So sometime after her big brother had returned from the dead, Thea got the bright idea to ask him to help teach her how to drive. The fact he readily agreed made her not only surprised, but also rather happy at that! Especially since it would be a great way to bond as siblings since not a lot of that had happened unfortunately since he had been back. Something she'd hated and wished would improve sooner rather then later but knew it was going to take time regardless of what she wanted. The fact he seemed very calm and quite agreeable with just about anything never even registered in her mind as a problem due to how happy she was at getting a chance to drive. Once they were in the garage and in her choice of vehicle, she let out an excited squeal, causing Oliver to look over and give his baby sister a dopey grin. "Alright Speedy, let's start her up and get to drivin'. Maybe even cruise for a burger or two."
"Don't have to tell me twice!"
Slightly remembering what she'd been told from the last time someone had been tutoring her in driving lessons, she started up the car and put it in the position needed to get going. But instead of going forward, they went backwards. Hitting the wall behind them and knocking over quite a few things! "Oh no!" Cried Thea with a moan.
"Hey, hey, its okay. Just was excited as all. Just remember to actually make sure you're looking at what you're doing in the future. That kind of thing could help stop an angry Australian in the future."
"Umm… Right. Okay. Let's, let's do this." Checking to make sure of what she was doing, which actually helped to ensure they were going forward this time.
She hit the gas and ended up breaking right through the garage door. Wincing at the damage that had caused. "Accidents happen when excited. Nothing to worry about."
"You sure?"
"I'm the surest." Assured her brother.
Nodding at that, Thea hoped he would be right and proceeded to drive onwards. The fact she was driving pretty fast while Oliver was on about moderation being key to a good driving experience and being completely oblivious to the speeding his sister was doing would be a rather alarming thing to anybody else. While this was going on, a slight case of panic was happening over at ARGUS. Namely the fact that Amanda Waller had been informed that one Oliver Queen had been taking some experimental medications for his issues that he'd apparently gotten from them. "HOW THE HELL DID HE MANAGE TO GET HIS HANDS ON THEM!?" Screamed out the woman in irritation.
As there was a reason those medications hadn't been approved of just yet damnit! A nervous looking man in a lab coat came forward, causing her to eye him critically. "Umm… That, that would be my fault. Ma'am."
"How is that exactly Dr. Jenler?"
Gulping at the icyness in her tone, the man pressed on. "Uhh, well… You see… Agent Queen kind of, you see, he… He strong armed me. After I, after I mentioned what the medications did when we last saw one another for a check up."
"Strong armed you?" Asked Waller with a raised eyebrow.
"Ye-Yes ma'am."
"In what way did he strong arm you?" As Queen did have a rather interesting repertoire for strong arming people.
Jenler gulped again. "He tw-twisted mu-my arm. S-Said tha-that he would br-break b-both arms a-and l-legs. If I, you know." God how he hoped he wouldn't get fired for this!
Waller sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I damn well wish I hadn't gotten out of bed. Thank you for your information Dr. Jenler. You may return to what you were doing. But for the record, NEVER let this kind of thing happen again."
A rapid nod came from him before he took off like the Devil himself was after him. "AGENT MICHAELS!"
"YES MA'AM!" Yelled Lyla Michaels as she came running.
"See to it that transportation for Starling City is ready ten minutes ago."
Saluting to her superior, Lyla immediately went off to do just that and idly wondered if she might see Johnny while there. As she knew he was doing some bodyguard work for the Queens at the moment. While Waller waited on that, she would get some Non-Disclosure Agreements ready as who knows what the Hell Queen had said while under the influence of those damned medications!
Three Hours Later At Starling General
Thea and Oliver would find themselves in the hospital after driving directly into a ditch. Naturally, this only happened after a bit of property damage and a few near misses of pedestrians and animals as she drive like a wild person under her brother's 'helpful' instructions. Neither was thankfully serious hurt this time but Moira and Walter were still decidedly very unhappy over the recent events! "Just what on Earth were you two thinking!? Were you even thinking!?" Yelled the frantic mother of two in fear and anger.
"Well, no one else wanted to teach me so I asked Ollie!" Replied Thea a bit petulantly as she rubbed on the cast they placed on her forearm.
"Yeah! I don't see what the big deal is! Nobody got hurt!"
"You're lucky nobody did considerin' all the near misses you two had." Remarked Lance a bit crossly.
"Were you two drinking? And can you blame us for not wanting to teach you? You're kind of scary at the wheel." Tommy said and not even wincing from the glare Thea gave him.
"Well someone had too! None of you were stepping up cause you were all too scared to do it!"
Everyone present minus Oliver looked away at that, as they all knew she had a point there. "If Slade was alive, he wouldn't be scared at all. Sure, he might be grouchy but he wouldn't be scared." Informed Oliver happily before frowning to himself.
Causing him to miss the looks he was getting from those present as one Dr. Lamb made his way in with a clip board in hand. "We've got back the results and I have to say, its a bit worrisome."
"Alcohol worrisome?" Wondered Lance.
"I wasn't drinking!"
"I'm not talkin' about you kid. Meanin' more your brother for lettin' what happened happen."
"Oh. Okay." Yeah, that made total sense actually.
As heck, even old Ollie wouldn't have let that kind of thing go on! Lamb shook his head at the man's question and causing Moira to wonder just what could be so worrisome. "Continue on Doctor." Suggested Walter calmly and the mother of two could have kissed him then and there for that.
"We found what is basically a cocktail of drugs in Oliver's system. Drugs we quite frankly aren't familiar with."
"Their supposed to help with my, uhh, you know. My things." Added Oliver helpfully with a wave of his hand.
"Your PTSD you mean?"
"Yeah, that. And other stuff."
Thea, Moira, Walter, Tommy, and even Lance were seriously surprised by that as they had no idea! Lance then could be seen nodding as if that explained things. Hell, he knew about the scars at it is and there's no way the Punk wouldn't have some kind of issues from that. "Are you self medicating son?" Asked Walter and wondering if he really even wanted to know the answer.
"Yep!" Answered the man brightly.
Causing the group to wince as that was usually never a good thing! "I just didn't wanna say anything cause then I would have to explain stuff. And I don't wanna explain stuff cause then it meant you guys knowing that stuff."
"And based on your results, I would hazard a guess that your body ended up having a strange reaction to these unknown medications."
Oliver just shrugged. "Probably, I don't know. Doc guy said somethin' about it but I wasn't paying too much attention at the time."
Moira felt a little alarmed by that, and she wasn't the only one either! "What uhh, what drugs is he takin' exactly?"
"And who is this 'Doc' person you spoke of sweetie?"
"From what the results told us, a variety of different anti-anxiety pills and antidepressants. None of you were aware of this?"
"NO! NO WE WERE NOT!" Screamed Moira shrilly as damnit all!
"MOM! Calm down! Gonna give a guy a headache! And uhh... Doc's Doc. You know?"
His mother glared at him. "No, son, I DON'T know!"
Leaning over to Walter, Thea asked if this meant that she would be getting a different driving instructor. Causing the man to sigh. "We'd have to search for one who had nerves of steel to do so."
"Hey! I'm a great driving instructor! And besides, screaming 'left turn' when going right is a very valid instruction."
Lance snorted at that. "I think I can speak for all of us that its not. And only a nut would think so and trust me, I know a nut when I see a nut."
Looking up at the man with that dopey smile on his face from earlier, Oliver replied. "Well, they are round and kind of brown sometimes. So it would be easy to know a nut when you see a nut. And nuts can think? I thought they couldn't? Or is that a new thing that was learned while I was gone for 5 years?"
A whimper escaped Moira as she was NOT liking this whole thing at all. "I feel a headache coming on." Moaned the woman and it wasn't just because of the PR problems they were no doubt going to have after this debacle!
Oh no, it was primarily because of how her son was being at the moment! "Aww, mom. If you need something. I'm sure ARGUS could provide it if Lamby Pamby can't. I mean, ARGUS has a great plan for its employees. Especially the ones who are part of things that help stop really, and I mean really bad people from doing bad things."
"You uhh… You work for ARGUS?" Asked Lance in disbelief.
"Isn't that the Government group that deals with terrorists and stuff?" Wondered Thea curiously.
"One of 'em."
"Oh. Is anyone else wondering HOW that happened? Cause I would REALLY like to know."
"I know I am." Grumbled Tommy sourly.
Oliver shook his head. "Sorry, can't. Not even supposed to talk about working for ARGUS and the plan I'm on that they have cause I've done assassin stuff before. So shhh! Don't tell anyone else! You guys are fine though cause I haven't really said anything. So they can't be angry about it. Especially Waller. Meanie head." Pouted the man at the mere thought of that lady.
Several paled over the 'assassin' bit and even wondered if the drugs in his system was just making him talk crazy. Moira certainly hoped so! "I think I need a drink." Muttered Walter and that was a sentiment the others could definitely agree with!
"OOH! I got just the thing at home if you want! Russian Vodka, really, really, and I mean REALLY strong stuff. Got it as a gift from the Russian Mob cause 'Toly likes me."
"HOW THE HELL DO YOU KNOW THE HEAD OF THE RUSSIAN MOB!?" Screamed out Thea before anybody else could do it!"
Oliver winced. "Not so loud baby sis! Gosh! And for one, I saved his life from Ivo. And two, I gave him a really old Submarine."
"Yeah, that settles it. He's batshit crazy." Muttered Lance.
A shake of the head came from the questionably insane man. "Nope, not me! I've met batshit crazy though. Her name's Harley and she likes to carry a mallet around."
"I'm not even gonna ask if you're talkin' about who I think you're talkin' about."
"Why? Harley's actually kinda nice when she's not trying to get into your head and do things to your brains."
"Aww for cryin' out loud!"
A thought occurred to Tommy just then, one that would be had by Thea as well. Causing both to ask at the same time on just how Oliver had gotten a Submarine to begin with! "Oh, well, it crashed on Lian Yu back during World War 2. Stupid Ivo… Coulda been living peacefully with Shado and Slade, but NOOO! He just had to show up! Jerk!"
Everyone looked at one another and Moira desperately hoped her son stopped talking. As she wasn't sure she could handle more! Just then, several people burst into the room. One of those being a dark skinned woman in a charcoal business dress suit and her hair done up. "Whoa, its Waller! I think someone's in trouble!"
"Ohh yes, Agent Queen. Someone IS in trouble."
"Ooh, who!? Can I help!?"
Waller just shook her head at him with a slight glare on her face. Causing him to pout. Getting back to business, she nodded to her men. "In these briefcases are Non-Disclosure Agreements. You are all to sign them and then never discuss whatever was heard in this room today. Or face jail time if you do so."
"Let me guess, you're his ARGUS employer who supposedly made him an assassin?" Asked Lance with his arms crossed and making Moira glare heatedly at the woman.
"Oh for goodness sake, that was roughly two years ago! Man really needs to let that go!"
"Considering I coulda been going home instead of doing all that, I won't ever let it go! I mean… Yeah, Shrieve really needed to go but still!"
"Even in death, you don't like workin'. So I can see why he won't let it go lady."
Moira looked to him with that glare still in place. Making for Tommy and Thea to hope they didn't get that in their direction! Cause that was just really scary! "Really Quentin? Must you be insulting towards my son while I am around?"
Looking at her for a moment in silence, he then spoke. "You wanna leave the room so I can do it while you're not in it then?"
"What!? NO!"
The man just grinned at her much to her annoyance. Annoyance that furthered when she realized how she had pretty much brought that on herself. Deciding to get things back on track, or as much as possible anyway, Waller began to speak up as she handed an NDA to Agent Queen's mother. "The drugs in his system are of ARGUS property. Unfortunately they are also in the experimental stage and it is highly recommended Agent Queen go through a thorough detox in order to remove the drugs from his system so that he is able to return to some sort of normalcy for him."
"And I would suggest Mr. Queen be placed on normal medications that would be safe for him to take." Added in Dr. Lamb.
"What makes you think I won't sue you and yours for everything you have?" Asked Moira archly.
Waller looked at her for a moment, not even feeling the slightest bit intimidated by the other woman. As she had dealt with far worse then an irate mother. "Because, we're the Government Mrs. Queen. We know things you don't want others knowing. Plus, this is more your son's fault then ours anyway."
"Nothing's my fault!"
"What about that time in Cancun?"
"Nope!"
"What about that time you peed on that cop?"
"That was the Alcohol. Not me. So totally not my fault."
A sigh escaped the unfortunate mother of two as she signed the NDA form and hoped like Hell she could get her son back to a decent form of normalcy. Even if said normalcy involved medications that didn't cause him to act so strangely!
Author's Notes: Heh, just a bit of random sillyness to be seen here. Definitely fun in writing it and I hope those of you who read it will have enjoyed!