DISCLAIMER: This story is for entertainment purposes only, for my comrades in Fanfic to enjoy. No profit will be made from it, and all things Star Wars belong to the powers that be, and certainly not me
This is not a love story. There are no bright eyes and bushy tails, no declarations of affection, no selfless sacrifices. This story is backstabbing, lust, greed, manipulation, self doubt, and shows of strength. And as I lay here on this cobbled stone floor, my crimson blood pooling around me, seemingly approaching an untimely end, I find myself reflecting back on where it all went wrong. In order to do that though, we have to go back, back ten years ago when I made my first bad decision…
At first glance, my small stature and fair features may deceive a passerby into thinking I would make some Officer a fine, obedient, and trophy of a wife. I give the appearance of an angelic child but I am certainly no angel. I grew up on Dantooine with a farming family seemingly indifferent to galactic politics as long as they didn't affect the farm. From a young age, I learned the value of a hard day's work and to appreciate it, and the roughness of my small "delicate" hands proved the point. A typical family: my mother passive and kind, and my father tempestuous and stern. He always taught me to set the bar high for myself, to strive for perfection and never settle for less.
His high expectations proved to be the catalyst in my life. My force sensitivity as a youngling went mostly by blind eyes, although it had a bad habit of revealing itself when my temper flared. A few unfortunate bullies had the pleasure of finding surrounding objects hurled decidedly at them when they pushed me, usually followed by some sort of retort from my sharp tongue. Throughout my childhood and adolescence, I often felt as though I did not fit in with the others. Although I could get along with most of them, I never felt much of a connection to anyone or anything, striving for something that seemed to be just out of grasp, an understanding no one seemed to comprehend. I buried myself into my studies, not naturally the most brilliant, but hardworking enough to close the gaps and set me at the top of my class.
It wasn't long into my 18th year, that I was tapped by the First Order. Sure I had heard the whispers and idle gossip of how the First Order was secretly building up its forces through the rubble, beginning to ruthlessly tear through the galaxy, undermining the Republic wherever possible, and pummeling through anything that got in the way. But again, I had never been one for politics, so I ignored the rumblings and let myself be captivated by their promises of travel, adventure, and a quick path to leadership and responsibility within the officer ranks. My parents supported my decision and encouraged my search for success, and as we had never had a particularly close relationship, leaving seemed to be a natural next step devoid of much emotional distraught. The terms of the agreement were that everything had to be kept confidential for fear of any involvement from the New Republic, so to everyone else, I was simply off to Coruscant to attend University. Looking back, my ignorance to the ways of the galaxy and the First Order were by far my first grand mistake.
After several connecting spaceflights, clad only with my most essential belongings, I finally arrived at the secret location I had been provided to train at the First Order Academy. The last flight I was on contained only newly admitted officers in training like myself, and the anxiety of all aboard was palpable, sitting buckled in and packed like sardines, trying a great deal to avoid eye contact with any of the others. We had already been fitted and were donning the standard uniform of black tunic, pants, and cap. The material was stiff to maintain its perfectly pressed appearance, and it had a bit of an itch to it, but the silhouette and color came across surprisingly flattering, and at the end of the day if they would be laundering it I was not about to complain. My long blonde hair was slicked back into the tightest bun I could muster and had started to give me a headache, only adding to the discomfort and anxiety.
Relief overpowered me as I finally set foot on the ground again, my two large sacks carried unceremoniously over my shoulders. Their sheer size nearly matched mine, and I found myself smiling at the thought of what I must look like to those that I passed. As my standard issue boots gently clicked across the floor of the hanger, I rounded a corner and saw the largest ship I had ever set my eyes upon. Without thinking I dropped my bags to the ground and stood with my mouth open wide enough to catch insects. My trance was abruptly halted when I heard a loud chuckle from beside me.
"I take it you must be from the Outer Rim?" a red headed officer next to me commented with an amused and somewhat condescending expression.
"Dantooine." He smirked when I looked at him like he was amused at something I was missing.
"Yes, that explains it then. Well, that is what we call a Star Destroyer, the finest that will have ever been built," he almost had a twinkle in his eyes as he went over it. I noticed he seemed to be wearing a rather dashing overcoat about his shoulders, and found myself wondering if it meant something or was merely standard issue that all of us would receive in time.
"The Finalizer right? At least that's what I hope it is because that's around where I'm supposed to be." A fleeting thought crossed my mind that perhaps there had been some mistake in my flight schedule and I had turned up at the wrong location at the other end of the galaxy, I glanced in the distance hoping to see some sort of signage indicating a registration office.
"Then you're in the right place. You must be a new outside recruit for the Academy?"
"Yes, that's right."
"Impressive," my cheeks felt warm and I became a bit flushed, the look he gave me started to wander lower than my eyes and turn from amusement and condescension to something…more complex.
"Armitage Hux," the man said as he extended his gloved hand my direction.
"Sonia Viggers," I kept on my smile and shook his hand. We exchanged light conversation as he led the way towards the registration office, and in the process I discovered his father had been quite an important Commandant, and he had trained at the Arkanis Academy. I found myself somewhat drawn to him, he seemed determined, regal, and decisive about what he wanted, which were all qualities I admired a great deal. Several we walked past seemed to scurry off in an opposing direction and look over out of the corner of their eyes. With concern I kept looking over my uniform, afraid something must be out of place.
When we reached the registration office, all those inside immediately stood to their feet, and suddenly I realized what all the looks must have been about.
"General Hux, sir." The woman seated at the front desk greeted him with reverence as we approached.
"General? I'm sorry I didn't know…" I looked down at my feet and tried my best to mirror the salute the others were giving him.
"Don't worry, your ignorance is actually quite amusing." He chuckled a little to himself.
"At ease, please see Ms. Viggers is set up appropriately."
"Yes sir."
"Well Sonia, perhaps our paths will cross again at some point." He gave me a half smile and marched away.
The next year had come and gone quite quickly, filled with long nights of studying and practicing combat moves over and over again, doing whatever I had to in order to succeed. It once again served me well and I developed a reputation for my hard work ethic and attention to detail, however with it also my tendency to question and speak up when others felt it was not appropriate.
There was one particular incident that occurred after another mandatory viewing of one of Hux's loquacious propaganda films, this time reaffirming how the New Republic must be quickly eradicated. Ever since my first meeting with him, I was somewhat perplexed by the frightening demeanor in his speeches, very contradictory towards my firsthand experience. While he had a severity about him, he hadn't seemed terrifying.
"I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand. Wouldn't it make more sense to collaborate with the Republic and come to a mutually beneficial compromise?" I knew the response based on the color the supervising Major's face was turning, and rather than dignify me with a response, he immediately smacked me in the back of the head with a riding crop and sent me to "Reconditioning".
"Reconditioning" essentially consisted of being made to watch holovid after holovid of Hux's speeches whilst a superior officer prevented you from sleeping for at least two days. After each holovid was finished, he or she would ask you questions about the First Order's M.O. and if you waited too long to respond or had the incorrect answer, you were rewarded with a beating. I didn't find it too terrible; because once I got bored with it I would simply give them the rehearsed answers until I was released. It seemed to be a small price to pay to offer up the voice of reason on occasion. Nevertheless, I contained myself better over time, and never presented anything in a way that hindered my ability to succeed.
That wasn't the only thing my classmates had started talking about either. One benefit to being in the officer program was that we were not forced to share a bunk with a roommate. While the rooms were still modestly sized, they afforded some privacy and solitude imperative to studying. I was working on an assignment where a case study was provided and we had to outline proper disciplinary measures as a result. Page after page was typed out, but each time I read through my sentences I was less and less pleased with them, second guessing every conclusion I had previous written with conviction.
"Not good enough, not nearly good enough." I spouted as I slammed my fist against the table and threw my datapad towards the bed. My mind and my heart were racing, if I couldn't ace this assignment I would be further down the class ranking list and less likely to get a superior bid at graduation. What would they say about me if I failed, just a pretty face who hadn't gotten through with merit? Surely she doesn't have what it takes, just here to find a husband. They already whispered it; I couldn't just give them more of a reason to believe it was true. I buried my head in my hands and rocked myself back and forth but I still felt as though I might explode, until suddenly with a yell I felt the anxiety leave me and heard shattering in the corridor. Voices gathered outside and I slowly exited my room to find the overhead lighting had all shattered and left darkness in its path.
"Are you okay?" The brown haired man across the hall whispered. His name was Drax, he had showed me some friendliness from time to time while still maintaining appropriate distance, except for a few nights after hours when we had a little too much Corellian whiskey and I ended up in his bed.
"Yeah, I'm fine…just frustrated about this assignment."
"Well, for your sake, you might want to…contain yourself…a little more, if you know what I mean. I heard if they find out you have force abilities they run tests on you and then hand you over to Snoke for him to break." There had been rumors about the faceless entity that was Snoke, a being of great power who was ruthless and held the reigns to The First Order but was never seen or heard. The stories people had didn't make me want to meet him anytime soon.
"Right, thanks." At that point I had a clear enough head to finish the assignment, after several additional hours of writing and re-writing until I could no longer find any faults with it.
As far as friends were concerned, I did not have many, aside from those like Drax who I would sit with during meals and engage in light conversation, but none that really forged any kind of close relationship. A good half of my school mates loathed me for being competition or for what they felt were my "completely inappropriate" comments, and it certainly didn't help that the training program essentially pitted us against one another as we were forced into combat leaving the best man standing.
Nevertheless, graduation quickly approached, and I eagerly anticipated what my assigned station would be. While there were bases and ships all over the galaxy, my heart was on the Finalizer which would be commissioned very shortly as construction had just recently been completed. Out of everything, the Finalizer was the crème de la crème, and my ambition led me to seek out what would put me closest to the highest of ranks. There was even talk that Hux himself would be stationed on the Finalizer.
On graduation day I had my nicest dress uniform on, my boots shined until I could see my reflection in them, and even saved up some credits to have my hair done in a more formal updo that there was no way I could have managed of my own doing. Family wasn't allowed to attend unless they were also in the Order, but my parents still sent along their words of congratulations. When I received the certificate, I delicately ran my hands over the coarse shiny paper, having never worked so hard for anything in my life.
After the commendation, there was a small celebration following, and I shared some green champagne with a few of my more friendly colleagues, Drax and Kira. I felt someone approach and saw my colleagues turn white in the face as they saluted, and I turned to find Hux with a slew of troopers at his heels. With only a moment's hesitation to process, I followed suit and gave a salute of my own.
"Officer Viggers…at ease... I have been following your career closely, it seems you have earned quite the reputation for being one of the up and comers of the New Order. Congratulations on your graduation."
"You honor me a great deal General." My voice was a bit more subservient than our first meeting, now that I had a much better understanding of who he was and what he was capable of, however I tried to assert myself by maintaining eye contact with him rather than darting my eyes towards the floor where they so desperately wanted to go.
"It also appears that you'll be stationed on my ship The Finalizer, what a…coincidence." I could not hide my excitement and happiness at this news, and I'm sure it beamed off of me. The Finalizer had been my dream since the day I first laid eyes on it, and to know that my hard work had paid off was validating in every sense of the word.
"I do not believe in coincidence sir, and if any of it was your doing than I owe you a great debt of gratitude." He nodded and curled up his lip slightly.
"No debt of gratitude, just as any General, I wish to have the best of the best working directly with me." He nodded and turned on his heels to leave, the flank of storm troopers scurrying behind him, but he hesitated a moment and turned back.
"And Officer, I sincerely hope that your Reconditioning sessions will become much less frequent now…For your sake," I gulped and nodded. If that wasn't a threat then I didn't know what was. From across the room I heard one of my biggest critics comment about how I must be sleeping my way to the top, but the words no sooner left his lips that he began coughing and gasping as I smiled slightly and brought the bubbly green liquid up to my lips.