I wrote this at stupid o'clock in the morning after watching the last episode of Victorious and getting emotional. I hope you guys like it, a lot of effort went into this chapter so reviews will be much appreciated :)

I dedicate this story to all those who tragically lost their lives on the 22nd May 2017. And to Ariana Grande, who's beautiful colours have never shone brighter this year.

Chapter Song: Rivers and Roads—The Head and The Heart

Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, though if I did it would still be on the Nickelodeon today.

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RIVERS AND ROADS

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Chapter One

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Los Angeles CA

~Tori~

The nostalgia was overwhelming.

Tori remembered the last time she was here, backstage at the Platinum Music Awards, she was eighteen years old and still a student at Hollywood Arts. A time where school plays and getting stranded in a giant cupcake parade float in the middle of a shady neighbourhood were the only problems in her life. It was hard to believe graduation was almost five years ago.

If her eighteen-year-old self could see her now Tori was sure she would be wracked with joy at the prospect of being an international pop-star. It had been everything she'd ever dreamed of. But the present Tori, however, was beginning to change her mind.

Life as an international pop-star was no doubt amazing but it was no picnic. Thinking about the last time she'd stood here as a nervous and excited teenager had brought back that lonely feeling that often paid her unwelcome visits whenever she went to flashy events like these.

It was a stupid feeling, because just behind the velvet curtain in front of her were thousands of her fans, thousands of people she did not know when they most likely knew almost everything about her. Still, she missed seeing her family every day and being able to walk outside without having cameras shoved in her face. She missed her best friends and often considered calling one of them to see what they were up to these days but always decided not to be a bother. They weren't kids anymore and would most probably be busy with their own lives.

Tori took another sip of her water and stretched out her neck as she stood in the backstage gloominess, a monotonous voice spoke through her earpiece to let her know she had fifteen minutes before she was expected to step onstage. Sighing, She placed her water bottle down and took a seat on the chair before her bulbed mirror. Tonight marked the five-year anniversary of the last night she'd been a regular teenage girl, and the last night all of her friends had been together.

Tori stared at her glammed up reflection, drifting into a daydream with the booming vibrations of the music onstage.

May 19th, 2012.

As the audience burst into applause Tori squealed in elation as her friends hurried over to the edge of the stage, she bent down to be smothered with congratulatory hugs, she even got one from Jade, the so-called 'frenemy' who had originally supposed to be performing, she'd given it up for her though. Tori wasn't so sure what had compelled Jade to do something so nice and so...un Jade-like.

But whatever she'd seemed to have done to soften Jade up was obviously only temporary because she smirked at her once they broke apart and shouted over the racket of the audience, "meh, you were satisfactory...for an understudy."

Tori couldn't help but smile back.

Afterwards, she broke away from her friends, letting go of Cat's hand with a smile and left the stage as the lights dimmed into darkness. Her heart was beating fast in her chest and the grin on her face was beginning to make her jaw ache. She headed back to the dressing room that had originally been Jade's and made a bee-line to the couch where she subsequently collapsed, staring up at the ceiling.

She never wanted this feeling to go away.

A muffled pinging sound caught Tori's attention and she sat up to see that her bag had been moved into the dressing room during her performance and had been placed on far corner of the long couch. She inched towards it and retrieved her noisy Pearphone.

Notifications from Splashface and The Slap were popping up speedily on the screen. Tori furrowed her brow and tapped on The Slap icon. For a brief moment, she saw tweets after tweets from strangers plastered on her page all with her username on them followed by the hashtag #PMAs. She also noticed that her follower bar was climbing up at lightening speed.

And then her phone crashed.

Tori groaned and bashed the home button in an attempt to revive it but with no such luck. Abandoning her phone, she walked over to the refreshment table and looked inquisitively at the array of food. Rashly, she picked up the first thing she saw without reading the little white label in front of it. She placed the little cube of what she assumed was ordinary cheese in her mouth.

Her eyes bulged at the foul taste and it was only then that she decided to read the label.

At the request of Miss Ginger Fox,

We present,

'Casu Marzu.'

A delicacy cheese made with sheep's milk and stuffed with fly lava.

Maggot cheese. This was maggot cheese.

Tori's stomach lurched and she bolted to the en-suite door, wrenching it open and making it to the toilet just in the nick of time. She spat out the putrid cheese along with her dinner.

"Why...does that even exist?!" Tori gasped.

Flushing the toilet, she stumbled over to the sink, squirted some toothpaste into her mouth and swished it around. Upon finishing scouring her tongue with her fingers, she pulled out some paper towels from a nearby dispenser to wipe her mouth with. But when she went to the plastic trash can in the corner, she noticed something inside.

Tori did a double-take.

There was a pregnancy test staring up at her and on close inspection, she saw that it was positive.

Her mind was blank for a brief moment, and then it clicked when she remembered that Jade had been using this dressing room just a few hours ago.

There was a knock on the dressing room door and then a voice called out to her.

"Miss Vega, your friends have requested for you to join them in the audience."

Tori whirled around and walked out of the bathroom, "yeah, thanks, Simon I'm coming now."

Simon smiled and nodded and was just about to leave when Tori spoke up again.

"Can I ask you a quick question before you go?" She asked, her voice going high in a sarcastic tone.

"Of course, Miss Vega," Simon replied, adjusting his earpiece and leaning against the doorframe with his clipboard to his chest.

"Why are there disgusting maggoty cheese cubes in this dressing room?"

"We allow each performer to request any refreshment of their choice, the cheese was Miss Ginger Fox's request so we had it imported from Sardinia especially. It's actually illegal in this country but we made...arrangements." He explained.

"That woman is out of her mind," Tori frowned, turning up her nose and shivering in disgust.

"Unfortunately I cannot comment on Miss Fox's sanity but yes I agree, it's not a food I would personally enjoy," Said Simon. "Your performance was spectacular by the way."

Simon left and Tori gathered her bag jacket and left her dressing room. Her mind going back to that test. Her eyes had to have been playing tricks on her, Beck and Jade had broken up months ago so wouldn't it be obvious by now that she was pregnant?

Wait no, she was being an idiot. You don't need to be a couple to do the deed.

Suddenly Tori felt all the more guilty for that almost-kiss she'd shared with Beck that night, an occurrence she'd been trying to push to the back of her mind until now. It hadn't happened of course because she'd told him that she couldn't do something like that to a friend. Jade belonged with Beck, Tori had no doubt, and if she was right about that test being Jade's then that just confirmed the notion.

Adele was in the middle of belting out her song 'Set fire to the rain' when Tori made her way down the seating aisles and toward the front where her friends were seated. Andre was the first to notice her and motioned to the empty seat next to him, he smiled at her and her a back. Tori stole a glance at Jade who was sitting next to Beck watching the performance with both arms crossed over her stomach.

When the show finished, the gang piled into a black limo to attend the after party which was held at the hotel Dubois, the most pricey and prestigious hotel in Beverly Hills. The gang chatted and laughed amongst themselves and sipped from flutes of champagne while Andre went to look for Cat who'd disappeared not long after Tori's opening performance along with her Bibble-restrainer. When he returned, Oliver and Cat were following behind looking down at the sidewalk with guilt.

"I found them behind a dumpster, gorging themselves on bibble," Andre said.

"We're sorry!" Cried cat, stomping her foot childishly.

"Just get in the limo," Andre sighed.

She did as she was told and took the empty space beside Robbie which meant Oliver had to sit next to Tori.

"I can smell your shampoo, what it is it? Cherry? Raspberry?" Oliver whispered, leaning close.

"Uh, it's cherry."

Oliver clapped his hands hard, "ha! I knew it!" he exclaimed. Tori smiled awkwardly before turning her attention to her friends enjoying themselves, everyone except for Jade who sat right at the back, staring absently out of the tinted window. She'd refused the offer of champagne with a quiet shake of her head. Tori had half the mind to talk to her but didn't want to draw attention to the others.

The party was amazing and held in the vast hotel venue hall. Tori was immediately greeted and overwhelmed by the number of talented artists congratulating her on her performance. Even Taylor Swift in her gorgeous black and white Chanel dress had stopped to compliment Tori and say how much she loved her song.

Her friends hadn't seemed too disappointed either. Andre had almost knocked Justin Bieber flying in his rush to tell her about the giant champagne fountain in the gardens outside. Cat and Robbie were dancing adorably together to a Coldplay song that played throughout the hall. But she couldn't see Beck and Jade anywhere, she hoped they'd gone somewhere together to talk things out.

"...You will not believe it Tori, I'm tellin' you now, you will not believe it!" Andre was saying in awe as he took Tori's hand and led her outside.

A refreshing breeze hit her face and the loud music from inside turned to low booming vibrations as the door shut behind them. The gardens were huge and gorgeous, stone steps lead down to a neatly cut lawn decorated with variously shaped topiaries and sure enough, a large fountain stood in the middle spurting out champagne. Tori had to take a moment to relish in the beauty before she and Andre descended the steps and started towards it.

Andre took two flutes from the fountain's edge and filled both with the bubbly, "here you go milady," he said as he handed one to Tori.

"Thank you," she smiled and they clunked their flukes together, "such a gentleman."

"Always," He chuckled, tugging on his tie with pride.

Tori laughed.

"Listen, you really were amazing tonight Tor," Andre told her seriously.

"Thanks Andre, that means a lot."

Tori wasn't sure but she thought she caught him blushing.

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something—"

But at that moment, Jade had appeared from behind one of the impressive topiaries and was traipsing their way, her damp face glistening in the moonlight as she wiped at the smudged mascara with her hand. Beck was hurrying after her and shouting her name.

"Jade why are you being like this? Please just slow down!" He begged.

Jade stopped in her tracks and whirled around to face him, "I saw you!"

A look of confusion flashed across Beck's features and Tori saw him open his mouth to ask what she meant when Jade stopped him, "I saw you with..." She glanced Tori's way causing her heart to skip a beat, "I saw you with Tori."

Almost everyone in the gardens was staring now as Beck, Tori and Andre stood speechless.

"How did you—?" Beck began, his face falling.

"You didn't end your video call with Cat...I saw and heard everything."

He glanced at a stunned Tori, "Jade we—"

"We? You mean you, Beck. How dare you ask to get back together with the knowledge that you tried to kiss another girl the exact same night!" Jade hissed, "you're selfish, all you ever seem to think about is yourself!"

That seemed to strike one of Beck's nerves because Tori saw something flash across his features and he lashed out, "oh, I'm the selfish one am I? You have the rudest, self-centred and jealous attitude I have ever seen and," he poked himself hard in the chest "...I'm the selfish one?"

What happened next was very unexpected. Instead of saying something back Jade closed her eyes, forcing a tear to go shooting down her cheek. And then, she turned to Tori and said, "I'm sorry..."

Tori tried to gather her words, but they got stuck in her throat.

"...I'm sorry for every mean thing I've ever said or done to you," Jade's voice was wavering as she spoke and it made Tori want to hug her, but her shocked state kept her glued to the spot.

"Just...sorry Vega."

Then she turned back to Beck,

"How was that for wicked witch West?"

End of flashback

Jade hadn't even turned up to graduation, she just took off somewhere without telling a soul where she was going. Not even Cat who everyone knew Jade was extremely close to.

However, nobody was affected more than Beck who's personality seemed to die a little causing him to drift away from everyone. The last Tori heard of Beck was when he called everyone to say his audition for a TV series which later turned out to become very popular had been successful and he'd been cast for a major role. Cat had been accepted into Julliard which was a prestigious performing arts college in New York, Robbie had followed her so as not to be separated from her.

And as for Tori herself, following PMAs she began to be bombarded with record deal after record deal and then even concert tours. These were opportunities she simply couldn't turn down.

That just left Andre. He never did end up telling her what he'd started to say at the PMA after party. Instead, he'd just wished her luck and assured her that it had been nothing important.

"Knock em' dead pop-star!" He'd said to her, smiling as she left to board a plane that would later take her on her first tour.

Tori would never forget the look on his face though when she'd turned around to catch one last glance at her last remaining friend. It wasn't the big smile he'd sent her off with, but a gloomy, lost expression that Tori would never get out of her mind.

Each day she hoped against hope that every one of her friends was doing well for themselves and that they were happy because she had so much love for them all.

"Tori, you're up." Said the voice through her earpiece, bringing her out of her reverie.

Manhattan NYC

~Cat~

Cat plunged the key into the door, wrenched it open and slammed it shut. A picture of herself and Robbie went sliding off a nearby wall and shattered to pieces on the floor. She made a high throaty sound and stumbled over to the table, placing both hands on top to maintain balance.

Tears pelted the glossy wood as her chest contacted with a harsh yet silent string of sobs. Cat inhaled sharply and threw herself down onto a chair. Screaming in despair she clamped her hands down on fistfuls of her mousy brown hair.

He was gone.

Dizzying thoughts spun like an angry tornado inside of her mind. If she'd have flown back to Cali the moment she'd heard he was back in the hospital could she have prevented it? Maybe talked him out of it? She and Chris had always been close, what if her moving away had been too much for him?

Well, whatever it was it hardly mattered now. He was gone forever and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her mom had called her in the middle of rehearsal and Cat was just asking for her to call back in an hour when she'd heard her mom's stifled sob.

"What's wrong mommy? Are you okay?" Cat asked in alarm after stepping out of rehearsal.

"Oh my sweet baby, it's Christopher..." Mrs Valentine explained, "he...he...oh God!"

She didn't need to go on anymore for Cat to understand. she couldn't hear the music from inside the studio any longer, only her mom's heart-wrenching cries. Stunned to the bone, Cat raised a shaking hand to her mouth and shook her head, "no," She whispered weakly.

Mrs Valentine took in a breath, "there wasn't anything they could do to save him baby girl, he...the cuts, they were too deep. He severed a major artery."

She couldn't remember how she'd gotten there but Cat was on the floor now, eyes clenched shut in crippling bereavement. Slowly, she opened her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. A hot wave of anger suddenly washed over her and she tightened the grip on her phone, "I thought he was supposed to be in a secure unit! How did he even manage to access a weapon?! Are they stupid? It's their job to look after people like Chris!"

"I know Cat, I know. B-but he'd been stable and showing signs of progress so they gave him a job working in the kitchen, a way to keep his mind active I suppose. They took their eyes off of him for a second..."

Cat was yelling now, though she wasn't aware of it, "they shouldn't have taken their eyes off of him at all! They're stupid! Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!"

"I'm so sorry sweetheart. I-I really am."

"I don't understand. I-I talked to him on the phone the other day, he was happy. At least I thought he was," Cat said, clutching at her shirt tightly.

"I don't understand either, nor do I think I'll ever understand. I'm sorry baby but I'm going to have to go now, the police are here and they're asking for a statement. I'll call you again as soon as I get the chance, I love you to the moon and back. Never forget," Mrs Valentine said with one last sob.

Cat threw her phone at the opposite wall with a fatal force.

She didn't remember telling her friend Jessica about what had happened but the next thing she knew, she was getting shot and tears all over her jacket and then she was sitting in the passenger seat of her car being driven home.

Now, as she entered the bedroom. She grabbed a bin containing her old school work and placed it before the wardrobe. It gave her a boost up so she could retrieve from on top a fluffy pink photo album that her mom had kept over the years.

Cat got comfortable on the bed, flicked to the first page and stared at the first photo which was of herself as a tiny baby and Chris at around age five. She was bundled up in a white hospital blanket and Chris was holding her in his arms, supported by a pillow. Her little pink hand was wrapped around his index finger. Tears fell onto the protective cellophane which covered it.

"It's official, we wrapped on season one!" Came a familiar enthusiastic voice.

Cat heard the jingle of his keys as he dropped them on the side and the thump of his shoes as he kicked them off his feet. She stayed where she was, not wanting to take her eyes off the picture in front of her.

"Kitty, where are you?" Robbie called out.

And then he was walking toward their bedroom. Even when he opened the door, Cat didn't acknowledge him.

"Kitty?" He said, his voice a lot softer now. Robbie moved to sit next to her on the bed and took her hand in his, she still didn't look at him though.

"It's my brother," she managed, "he's dead."

Belfast Ireland

~Beck~

"And...ACTION!"

"Look at me Anya, what do you see?" Beck said, placing his hands on his co-star's arms and staring into her eyes.

"I see an idiot," said Holly, coldly.

"Of course you do. An idiot bastard born to a milkmaid and nothing more," Beck responded through a British accent, "but when I look at you I see Princess Anya, daughter of a King. You are of Noble blood, it's past time you acted like it."

"I never asked to be a princess and I don't want to be one! My father has said it many times himself, I am not fit to be his daughter. And he's always loved my sister more because she didn't kill our mother. If anything, he'd likely be glad to be rid of me!" She took hold of Beck's face, "so run away with me Dominic and stop being so downright stubborn!"

Beck moved away and ran a hand through his greased up hair, "and what if someone were to recognise you? We will have targets on our backs for the rest of our lives."

"I don't care! I'll kill anyone who dares get in our way!" Holly seethed.

Beck chuckled, "I do not doubt your skill with a sword but could you face an army? I think not."

"Bleeding hearts Dominic!" She grabbed the front of his filthy tunic and pulled him closer, "you are coming with me even if I have to knock you out and carry you!" She howled, shoving him backwards.

"Oh you will, will you?" He smirked, eying her skinny frame.

"Shut up! Just, please...Dominic, I beg of you," She pleaded, adding desperation to her tone.

Beck looked taken aback and his smirk disappeared, "you know that I can not, princess."

And then he began to shout for the guards, grabbing their attention.

"What are you doing! Stop it Dom, stop it now!" Holly cried.

"It's for your own good, Anya. I hope you can forgive me," Beck said.

The actors dressed in heavy guard armour marched over at once and Holly's character's features twisted in anger and tears filled her eyes as she shrieked at Beck's character.

"How dare you upset the princess, peasant!" Roared one of the guards, he reached for his sword but Holly raised a hand to stop him.

"No, that's quite all right," she said, breathless from all the yelling, "leave him be and just escort me back to the castle if you'd be so kind."

"Anya wait—" Beck frowned solemnly.

"No, you got your wish."

Holly turned and a camera-man moved in close to Beck to get a good shot of his heartbroken expression.

"And...CUT!" Yelled the director from his megaphone, "fantastic, fantastic! You all did great. That's a wrap for today."

Beck was relieved to hear those words after shooting for eight hours straight. He could almost hear his bed calling for him all the way from his trailer. Just as he was about to head there though, Holly stopped him.

"Beck, do you wanna come back and hang with the rest of us in my trailer? Dustin brought Dunkin' Donuts?"

Dustin played Alexander who was Princess Anya's brother in the show.

"No thanks, Today has totally wiped me out. I need to wash all this fake dirt off and then I think I'm gonna crash for a while."

"Well okay, I'll try and save you a donut then?"

Beck chuckled, "you can try, you know how much Dustin loves the things."

"You got that right." Holly smiled.

Upon reaching his trailer Beck climbed in and locked the door behind him. He tore off his costume and scoured the faux dirt from his skin and the grease from his hair using his favourite sandalwood shampoo. Then he hopped out and dried himself off before putting on some fresh underwear and tying up his damp hair. He would have to get it cut after shooting ends, he wouldn't get much taken off though. He'd thought seriously about cutting all of it off before, but his mind would always wander back to the days when his ex-girlfriend used to threaten to never speak to him again if he cut his hair.

His mind always wandered to her no matter what he did though. Simple things such as using a pair of scissors or drinking a cup of coffee often proved to be a task and a half for Beck.

Jade had now invaded his mind, and an invisible force was pushing his hand toward the bedside drawer which he pulled open and rummaged through all of the car magazines and other junk until he found the little black box. He took it out and opened it up. Inside was the little gold 'J' necklace he'd always wear since freshman year of high school. Beck wondered if she'd kept hers too. Not likely though, considering how she'd taken off so rashly and suddenly Beck wouldn't be so surprised if she'd thrown it off a cliff or tossed it into the ocean.

He missed her each day and wished that he could somehow turn back the clock. He'd tried so hard to move on from Jade and at one point had even tried to get back in the saddle and meet someone again, but every girl he'd tried to date he found bored him to a stupor. And he was just begging to think he'd never meet anyone he liked when he realized that he'd been looking for Jade all this time.

It was Jade he wanted, and it always would be.

He took the necklace from out of the box and placed it gently around his neck, turning over on his side he held the small J between his fingers and let sleep drag him away hoping she would at least come back to him in his dreams.

Leave a review if you fancy chapter two!

—PeachesPapaya