It was a day just like any other day. I woke up and smacked my lips a couple of times. Good lord, morning breath is just something that I will NEVER get used to. After laying around for 40 minutes, slipping in and out of a restless and perpetually awake cycle of lying to myself as to when sleep was going to finally come, I finally realized what I realize every morning. I, like many others, will never fall back to sleep once I wake up in the morning. So once again I lugged my body out of my bed and into the bathroom. I brushed away that dreaded morning breath and shuffled downstairs. Mom had left for work and wouldn't be home until late. Dad had left for the grave and wouldn't be home until never. Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my weapon of choice, combating the endless enemy troops of hunger. Pitter-patter went the war drums and the troops shook the foundation of my digestive system with their rhythmic marching.
After a good bowl and a half I felt satisfied. As satisfied as a hungry mouse that had eaten a king size Halloween bag of mini bites fun size Snicker bars with extra nuts because then that would be more filling and because I am a mouse and not a human it would be really super filling because even a human couldn't eat that many snickers even if they were mini and the nuts are also the most filling part of the Snicker bar, these Snickers would be really hard to eat. I was really full. I decided to have a seat on the living room couch and see if my favorite show, Chowder, was on. Technically it is always on because I have a series recording set. I put on my purple, tumescent, dual horned hat. This wasn't my first time dressing up as the grey, divine little guy. I've been to Anime Con in San Fran 3 times. I get weird looks but whatever. You have your favorite anime and I have mine. If you love Bleach so much why don't you go drink it. That's how I got kicked out last time but shucks it was worth it.
Well that was off topic. I am here for one reason. I am here to tell you about why I am more of a Misadventures of Flapjack guy than a Chowder guy from here on out. New episodes of Chowder hadn't been in production since August 7th, 2010. So imagine my surprise when an episode is labeled as brand new with the first air date being today. July 5th 2016. No. Way. I was excited but skeptical, as any die hard fan would be. This felt like something of Endive's doing. I quickly had to remind myself once again that, no matter how real all of these characters felt, they don't actually exist. Panini is just a better Judy Hopps, not that anybody is asking. If Judy can be real then Panini should be too. Whatever. This isn't Chowder General this is my story. I hit the OK button and hear the oh so Familiar "You Take the Moon and You Take the Sun!" After the intro was over I was locked in. I sang along with the intro, as I always do and my Chowder time had ensued. Shortly after the beginning credits and episode intro were over, the screen went black.
"Weird" I thought.
I had never seen that before. Regardless, I forged on, ready for what was definitely my final ride on this wild ride. This is when it gets REALLY WEIRD. Like, Gorgonzola weird. The intro just kinda... started again. This time the actual cartoon animations continued and the episode played as usual, but Mung Daal's voice was caught in an endless loop of "YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON" Need I explain more?
I have watched Chowder on mute before. Sometimes my mom gets the shakes. Any audio makes her wail and scream. So I put Chowder on mute and I memorize the dialogue. I wanna kiss the guy that invented subtitles. This time was no different. I flicked on the subtitles button, grabbed some peanut butter from the cabinet and started buttering up my mouth while watching my favorite facetious show. Mung's obsession with the Moon was evident throughout the course of this 23 minute special. Mung never stopped chanting. Over and over I heard his words.
"AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON AND YOU TAKE THE MOON"
I figured that it must be an issue with my soundbar. While I did love those 23 minutes of Chowder, something tells me that the only audio going on the entire time wasn't supposed to be Mung droning on about the equanimous Moon. I watched the episode again, fulsome in my observant vigilance. Nope, same result. I payed close attention to the subtitles. The episode was as normal as any Chowder episode. Chowder had to round up 5 key ingredients from around the city. Unfortunately, the invidious Endive got to every ingredient before our hero Chowder. Everytime Chowder confronted Endive on her dastardly deeds, he said her name. Naturally, her name showed up in the subtitles. My hair stood up on my histrionic spine. The subtitles didn't say "Endive". They said "Endie". That's right, EnDIE. This wasn't a normal episode of Chowder. This episode was a mystery. And like every great mystery, a hero is recruited to unravel the spinning and woven web of the jocular and mendacious details and hints that are put together and linked like a family tree filled with adultery and incest, so that the tree frequently doubles back and makes confusing paths that are hard to follow, much like a genuine mystery, or a famous Dick Tracy novel, Sherlock Holmes levels of mystery, I was the hero for the job, the Sherlock Holmes of my own mysterious mystery family tree novel of woven mystery.
At this point I was convinced that Mung's constant chanting was the first clue to my mysterious fate. Endie was clearly going to make an appearance later on in my journey. As of now I needed to confront the turgid clue sitting in front of me. I looked to all instances of Chowder interacting with the Moon God in Marzipan. This was truly shocking. Every single time the Moon God was supposed to shift times of the day or appear on screen to offer assistance, nothing was there. The actions were still completed and the plot progressed as usual. But, no Moon God. Suddenly, the horizon outside shifted. The Day to Night cycles in Chowder are immediate. A god of either cycle drops down and pulls the Horizon upward. I looked outside and I... I witnessed just that. The Moon God from my beloved TV Show was changing reality's backdrop, while I stood as helpless to it's effects as I was to my father's death, helplessly.
At this point one thing had become evident. Mung Daal wasn't in the show. He had taken on a metaphysical, personified, manifestation, version of himself and put it into a real manifestation of the true world that we live in. Mung had lived up to his words. In his riveting 23 minute rhetoric he had taken the Moon. His swift collection of our dependent and personified, yet entitled and given but necessary moon led me to believe that after he was to possess this symbol of the ocean, it's tides and all that we hold dear to us when pertaining to the shape of pressure and the lunar tides, he had done one thing. Mung Daal had taken the Moon, and he was about to take the Sun.