Okay, this is a Human AU OC!Fem!Philippines/America with the soulmate AU where when you touch your soulmate's hand for the first time, you can see color. If you dislike straight relationships for whatever reason or dislike OCs, I suggest you leave, although there is clearly a warning in the summary saying that this is centered around an OC and her thoughts and yeah.

Umm, not much to say... Oh! If you follow Nostalgia, I am currently attempting to write the next chapter and it should be up soon! Thank you for reading, and maybe review after you're done?

WARNING: There is PruCan and Spamano mentioned in this if you dislike either ships.

Also, I do not own Hetalia in any way.

If you would like a general description of Tala (the Philippines) since I don't really explain her looks or much of her personality, feel free to PM me!

Thank you and enjoy!

I loved color.

I had always loved every color and shade, even though I couldn't see any.

Color was the thing you saw when you touched your soulmate's hand for the first time. I couldn't wait to meet my soulmate.

I had always been a romantic. I loved helping my friends with their relationships and reading about the things couples could do. I thought of what would happen when I met my soulmate. I had imagined dates on the beach, or sneaking out at night for a midnight stroll, or something equally as romantic. I imagined we would playfully fight, or have small debates on random topics. Not every day, but just every once in a while. I thought it wouldn't be perfect, but perfect enough.

Originally, I thought maybe Matthew was my soulmate. I had fallen for him once, in high school. One day I grabbed his hand without thinking in order to drag him off somewhere. He wasn't my soulmate. I was okay with that, when I eventually came to see him as a brother. I knew he would be happy with Gilbert when they found they were soulmates.

Then I thought that Lovino could be my soulmate. He was nice to me, but still got angry with me, which he would never do around other girls. He was someone who never wanted to meet his soulmate, so he wore gloves at all times. I caught him without gloves once and grabbed his hands. He had great nails and soft skin, but he wasn't my soulmate either. He was like an older brother to me, I came to realize. Matthew was too, but I always called him my younger brother despite him being older than me. Lovino ended up being the soulmate of Antonio. It took a while, but they were happy and very much in love.

I stopped assuming after that. I didn't think it would do me any good. I would meet my soulmate when it was meant to be.

In college, Matthew introduced me to someone. He looked a lot like him, but I could easily tell the difference. Matthew had longer, wavier hair, round glasses, and he had a long curl hanging in front of his face. The one he'd introduced me to had a cowlick, shorter hair, and square glasses. He was his brother who had lived in Britain for an exchange program up until then.

His name was Alfred, and as I got to know him, I came to find that he was blue.

I always thought of people in colors. I learned from people who found their soulmates what color was and so I always compared people to color.

Matthew was silver: pure, shining, but could be deadly in his own way. He was the perfect match for Gilbert, who was grey: a bit unsettling, mischievous, but just light enough to be comforting.

Lovino was red: angry, hotheaded, but also warm in his own way. In contrast, Antonio was green: soothing, comforting, but secretly dark and jealous sometimes.

Those were what the colors meant to me when people explained them to me. Matthew and Gilbert were clouds: freely drifting across the sky together, never needing to change for one another. Lovino and Antonio were nature: strong as they made sure that they could grow as people together.

And Alfred?

Alfred was blue.

I had been told that the water and the sky were blue, and that both turned dark at night. If that was so, then Alfred was the sky during the day: bright and cheerful. He was also the sky at night: dark and mysterious at times. He was the waters on a summer day: calm and relaxing. He could also be a stormy night at sea: raging and unpredictable.

I loved him. I really did. I loved his contradictions and his ways of making me happy. Even though he sometimes annoyed me with his antics, I did fall for him. I fell harder for him than I ever had for Matthew and Lovino. I never assumed though. I didn't want to be disappointed.

We were quite close. We spent a lot of time together, and it was almost like we were a couple, but I acted like I acted with Matthew and Lovino around him, so it was nothing new. I was a bit more affectionate in a romantic way, but he never noticed. He was oblivious to that.

He wore gloves a lot. I asked him about it once, and he said they just felt comfortable. He was perfectly fine with finding his soulmate, but he liked the gloves. I had nodded and we went on with our day.

He slept over once. I caught him attempting to make pancakes for me in the morning, much like Matthew did. He made a huge mess, and I laughed as I helped clean up while getting the story of how it had happened in the first place. It ended in a food fight, and I went to get changed and put my clothes in the wash before returning. I helped him clean up once I came back.

I touched his hand by accident, and suddenly there was a burst of colors in front of my very eyes. So much color and they were so much better than I could ever have imagined. I was so amazed as I looked around, and only snapped out of it when he waved his hand in his face.

"Hey, Tala, what are you staring at?" he asked. His hair was yellow-ish, I suppose, or blonde as it was called. His eyes were a beautiful light blue. I shook my head and looked at him curiously.

"Don't you see it?" I asked, a bit of awe in my voice. He blinked.

"See what?" he responded.

I learned what it felt to have my heart split in two that day.

Alfred had a friend named Kiku Honda, or Honda Kiku where he was from, which was Japan. They had known each other for a long time, and I happened to like Kiku too. We both loved anime and manga and yaoi and maybe yuri too. Kiku was very shy, but quite entertaining and very interesting once you got to know him.

I thought of him as black: mysterious and hiding more secrets than you could think.

Alfred came up to me one day with a large, goofy grin on his handsome face.

"What's with you?" I asked with an amused smile.

"Did you know that Kiku's eyes are like, black?" he said excitedly, his eyes shining as he spoke. "Or maybe just like, a really dark brown? I know his hair is black though! He blushes a really deep red too when you compliment him!" I froze, but I quickly put a smile back on my face.

"Oh, is that so?" I asked. "I suppose he's your soulmate then! Congratulations!"

"Thanks Tala!" he said. "I'm meeting up with him right now actually, so I have to jet! See you later! You'll find your soulmate one of these days!" He waved as he started jogging away. I waved back with a smile that dropped a bit once he was out of sight.

That day, my heart wasn't split in two. It was broken into a thousand pieces.

They got married after college. By that time, I had learned not to cry and I really was so, so happy for them. I hugged them both and talked with them with an easy smile on my face. I joked and danced and had fun. I reassured Matthew and Lovino that I was fine, really, and that even if I loved Alfred, I was happy that he found someone he could be totally and completely in love with.

They moved to California soon after the wedding. We stayed in touch and met up whenever they were in town, or when I was visiting with Matthew. I had a feeling that they got a bit disappointed whenever I told them that I hadn't found my soulmate. They wanted me to be happy with the person I loved, but I told them I didn't need one. I was perfectly fine on my own. I never told them how I could see colors because of the time I touched Alfred's hand.

I mended my heart. I sewed each piece back together on my own and moved on with life. I got a job as an author, and I had a decent salary. I could make my own and have fun with what I do. I love Alfred, but I had to let him go. He wasn't mine. I could go on with seeing color of a man who was my soulmate, but I wasn't his. It did no good being upset over a love that never was.

If I really do have a soulmate that I could love and would love me back, I wouldn't know. I have yet to meet him, her, or zir. I'm happy with life, although it would be nice to be able to fall in love and have it returned for once.

If I could meet someone like that, I would probably be a bit happier with knowing someone could love me in that way with the feelings being returning wholeheartedly, but for now, I live with my friend, Mei, in a nice apartment, and I feel no rush to change how things are.

Quick notice: "zir" is a gender neutral term in place of saying them for people who do not identify as a boy or girl and are not comfortable with being called by pronouns such as "he" or "her".