Make Me Chocolate ~ An Akuroku Fanfic ~
Authors Note:
This Fanfic has a high use of profanity and sounds pretty damn stupid at times, but it's funny nonetheless. It circles around the adventures of a chocolate addict and his best friend/enemy. Enjoy.
Chapter One : First You Need The Sugar
Some people that grow up always fancy chocolate. Whether its candy, cookies, syrup, cake, frosting, or even the plain chocolate chips- everyone's been addicted to it at least once. But, the one thing which determines how addicted a person is to chocolate is just how far they'll go to get it.
Have you ever run into those weird fucks that are pushing around shopping carts and the only thing they have in it are chocolate products? I mean, literally, their whole cart is stacked with nothing but chocolate. No food, no drinks, not even any fruit man- just plain ass chocolate. You might say that they're buying all that shit for their kids, but in reality, they aren't. Half of them chocolate addicted bitches don't even have kids. But after dissing them, I guess it's about time I tell you the truth... I'm going to hell with those chocolate addicted bitches. Why? Well, in all honesty, it could be because of that one chick I fucked way back in high school when I had every sense of knowledge that she was several years younger than me, or it could be because of that one day in 5th grade when I nearly kidnapped this old lady's baby. In my defense though, that woman was so hideous I had no idea who would want to touch her wrinkly self enough to give her baby.
Anyway, the reason I was going to hell with those psycho fucks was because I was a chocolate addicted bitch who pretended I had kids too. Honestly, what else was I going to spend 200 dollars on? Okay, sure, I could've gotten that collection of manga I've been dying for, spent it all on strippers, or finally bought a ps3 out of my own pocket- but fuck man, I was an addict. When my brother offered me heroine or brownies, I went with the brownies. They were sober assed brownies too, because I, Axel Troy Sinclair, was the only straight edge motherfucker out there- except when it came to chocolate. Fuck man, I was addicted to that delicious shit and I would do anything to get my hands on it- even if it meant knocking some whiny bitch into a Doctor Who time machine all the way back to 1691. But seeing as how I was broke as fuck and there weren't any time machines around, there was only one thing to do. And that was…
"FUCK! I have no idea how the hell I'm going to get more chocolate!" The words burst through my mouth with both rage and stupidity; rage at the fact that, well, let's see… there was no fucking chocolate! And stupidity at the fact I didn't check the amount I had left before. Seriously, how dense could I be? Chocolate was my path of survival. I was going to go crazy and start biting off heads without it. But if that was going to happen, I would definitely be going after my brother first. That conceited asshole deserved it for all the shit he gave me over the years. Accusing me of stealing his pot, going after his girlfriend, pissing all over his room- how could I do all of that when I was too preoccupied with purchasing chocolate? True, I could always do both at the same time, but I didn't do any of that shit. Except for pissing all over his room- I have to live up to that; the whole thing was just too fucking funny. But instead of reliving the good ol' days when I actually had chocolate, I need to start thinking of ways to get those delicious fuckers!
"I repeat: How the HELL am I going to get more chocolate?"
"Calm the fuck down you little shit."
And now to introduce you to my obnoxious asshole of a brother… You ever see that one redheaded guy who always has an expression of absolute rage on his face, getting arrested for yet another crime concerning a woman who is about a century younger than them? Yup, that's my brother, Reno DeLuca Sinclair.
Reno DeLuca Sinclair is a 28 year old man who has been married to Mary Jane for years. You name it and he's had it. Ever since he was a kid in the early stages of middle school, the poor sap has had some type of drug in his system. Unlike the other people who started off easy, my bro started off hard-core with that shit ecstasy. He said that it was just a matter of time before he tried it, and that he might as well consume it while he had the chance. Back then I threw a bitch fit about it, but now I don't even have the mood to. Reno listens to no one, and I'm pretty sure it's always going to stay that way. But wait, did he just call me a little shit?
Turning around with as much false laughter as I could, I locked my eyes on him with my sharpest glare. Of course my glare didn't affect him at all, but apparently not even the fact that he was wearing YoGabbaGabba boxers was affecting this guy.
"Do you have to keep looking at me like that?" He asked as he sat down, flicking his lighter so the flame sent a spark of life though his cigarette, "You look constipated."
"Well I'd rather look constipated than parade around in YoGabbaGabba boxers."
Hell, if anyone caught me wearing those boxers I would lose my dignity. I loathed YoGabbaGabba; it was the most pathetic show I've ever watched in my life. I mean, what kind of kid would actually want to watch a man in his mid-thirties parade around in an orange bodysuit, talking with aliens who are too tall for their ages? The same idiots who believe that Edward Cullen is a vampire, no doubt. I mean seriously, he's not even cool enough to be a vampire, the sparkly fuck.
"Well at least I'm not a 22 year old wearing superhero boxers. Which ones are you moving around in now, Robin the Boy Wonder?"
A smirk followed his question as he blew out some more of the nicotine infused air, his gaze resting on me with a satisfied look. But if he thinks that was enough to insult me, this fucker had another thing coming. Especially when I only rock the Robin boxers on Tuesdays.
"For your fucking information, you dumbass, I'm actually wearing my sweet ass Batman boxers today. Robin ain't got nothing on the Dark Knight," Sending my reply to the idiot who was currently sitting at the breakfast table, I decided to include my epic Batman impersonation, resulting in a dramatic roll of the eyes from Reno who sucked on his cigarette with a scowl.
"Hey, don't diss Batman just because your lazy ass doesn't have a kick ass theme song."
"What kick ass theme song is that?"
As if right on cue, the previously mentioned theme song started to fill the air, becoming even more louder when Reno's girlfriend, Kairi, stepped down from the long odyssey of stairs in nothing but an Iron Man T-shirt and Thor panties. God damn. How I loved her sexy ass. How could a dick like Reno get her of all people? But setting aside the 'Way of Reno,' I took the chance to join right in which made the whole house fill with the awesome instrumental noise.
In chant, we both moved closer to Reno as we got to the climax, positively sure it would annoy the living hell out of him. And it did because soon enough his hard ass was sliding back the chair until it crashed into the wall, resulting in the epic Avengers clock I had bought last week- out of my chocolate bitch money, no doubt- to fall on the tiled floor with a loud shatter that would send any whiney ass motherfucker running for the hills. I wasn't a whiny ass motherfucker though, but the minute that clock hit floor, I was ready to send his ass running for the hills. No one messes with the Avengers, no one. But since I was a nice guy, I decided to turn towards Kairi and inform her on my demon plans which would result in the death of her boyfriend.
"Hey, Kairi," I said as I nodded my head towards her with a grin, "You're looking pretty damn hot today. Now excuse me while I go murder that fucking boyfriend of your and help yourself to some Fruit Loops. But don't you fucking dare touch my Coco Puffs, you bitch."
"No fucking Coco Puffs only lame ass Fruit Loops. Understood, you fuckwad," She replied with a mock salute, not even bothering to comment on how I was going to kill her man whore.
That was another reason why I appreciated her being; she didn't give a single flying fuck who people went after as long as no one went after her. You go against Kairi, you go against the beast. And no one wants to go after the motherfucking beast.
Sending her my own salute, I stomped out of that kitchen like a boss and stepped out the front door, which led to our amazing ass porch, and towered over Reno like the motherfucker I was.
"You broke my Avengers clock, you bitch."
"I don't give a fuck about your stupid Avengers clock," His response carried with it a twinge of annoyance, but I was too pissed to care. He called my Avengers clock, the epic one I sacrificed my beloved chocolate for, stupid. No one with as much sense as a premature chimpanzee would ever insult the Avengers around me, and damn to fucking hell this asshole was in for it.
Pulling back my hand as my fingers balled into a fist, I was just about to punch this cocky fuck so hard he would never dare insult another Superhero again. And with Jesus as my witness, I did.
The bones of my knuckles met his skull with as much force as a fat lady colliding against Luke Skywalker's light saber, the energy pushing him back until his chair hit the ground and his met with the solid wood. I knew with every one of my smart ass brain cells that he would be returning the same amount of force right when he stood back up until blood shot out of my ears, but for some reason, the only thing I could do was stand in shock as I watched his hands caress his nose in agony, shooting out all the profanity he possibly could. I had punched the fuck out of Reno before, but it had never resulted in this mess, and damn did it feel good.
"What the fucking hell, Axel?! What the fuck was that for?!" He was still caressing his nose as he muttered more curses under his breath, the movement interrupting me from my reverie of satisfaction. I was aware of two things right at that moment:
Reno was going to kick my fucking ass.
And
I didn't give a shit about it.
No one touches my Avengers clock and breaks it, and no living human being has the permission to insult it. I swear to damn Lucifer myself that whoever comments on anything that has to do with Superheroes with an insult is going to live a fucking eternity in hell. And badass Reno DeLuca Sinclair was going to be the first one to go there.
"You insulted the Avengers, you dumbass. You never fucking insult the Avengers in front of me you fucking asshole," The words left my mouth with a sharp tone, my eyes watching as his own emeralds met mine in a heated stare. It was a showdown between brothers concerning which one of us was going to survive, and for the sake of all the beloved chocolate in the world, I was going to win. Because even though this motherfucking dick was my brother, that didn't mean I would stand aside and let him beat the shit out of me. When it came to chocolate, I would do anything- and nothing was going to get in my way.
"Hey Axel, you're out of chocolate."
Of course, right in the middle of a match to the death, the little bitch has to come outside. She had such terrible timing, and even though I had the fucking urge to slap that sexy face, I knew that touching Kairi would make this situation even worse. So, deciding that Reno would get the message, I slouched back into my usual position and turned to face her, a satisfied look decorating my face at the sight of her long legs. Kairi had the body of a damn Goddess, and just like every horny bitch out there, I wanted to nail her into the nearest fucking mattress. Fuck, I would settle for the floor, but due to a pass experience I had a few months back, the floor wasn't looking too good.
"No shit bitch; you think my chocolafied self hasn't realized that?"
"Well," She paused as she brought the silver spoon which was decorated with chocolate puffs to her mouth, "Sometimes you forget to check. Shit, I mean, all you have that's even partially chocolate are these Coco Puffs."
Hold the motherfucking phone. That slutty ass bitch wasn't eating Fruit Loops; she was munching on my god damn Coco Puffs. Did I not warn her sexy ass that the Coco Puffs were mine? I'm pretty sure I did, and here she was eating those delicious fucks right in front of me- out of my Spider Man bowl no less.
"Are those my Coco Puffs?" I asked, my voice remaining as calm as I could keep it. I was about to send her whiny ass running for the hills, and I'm pretty sure she was fully aware of that.
Watching as her eyes slowly drifted to the bowl she held in her hand, a look of pure innocence appeared on her face, "Nope."
OH NO SHE DIDN'T. That little bitch did not just lie to me. Does she have any idea who I am? I am Axel motherfucking Troy Sinclair, the only chocolate addicted bitch in the whole world who owns a time machine, and she just lied to my fucking face. At this point, I didn't care if she had the best tits in the world like Shane from The L Word; I was going to pound her face in. No one messes with my Coco Puffs.
"You triple-D fucking big titted bitch, you did not just lie to me." At this moment, I didn't care if she was Reno's sexy ass girlfriend either, she had made her move by stealing my god damn Coco Puffs, and now she was just like every other person out there: A motherfucking dumbass who chose to stay on the Light side rather than the Dark and reject those delicious cookies. So what if Darth Vader could only offer something that gave any bitch 300 extra calories? At least they proved that the fucker could bake while all Luke Skywalker could do was prove that incest was real. But instead of starting yet another fucking war among the stupid ass morons who fucking worship Star Wars, I decided to focus my attention on Kairi and her huge ass boobs as her chewing slowly came to a stop. Holy fucking shit. She was pissed.
"For your fucking information Axel," She calmly said, her eyes shooting daggers at me, "My boobs are not fucking watermelons. They. Are. Canta-fucking-loupes!"
Now that was enough to cool off my rage, but right when I blinked my nearly blind eyes and my ears fucking popped like motherfucking dynamite. I could only focus on those tiny sphere like chocolate circles and damn me to hell I remembered that this bitch was eating my babies!
"I don't give two fucks about your perfectly round shaped cantaloupes. I want you to explain why the hell you're eating my Coco Puffs when I said to eat the damn Fruit Loops. I'm pretty sure I made that clear, you sexy ass fucker."
"Well if you must know Sir Fuck-A-Duck," Slowly, she swallowed five more of my delicious babies, "There were no more fucking Fruit Loops for this sexy ass fucker to eat."
Well if an Oompa Loompa didn't just run in and bite me in the ass. There were no more Fruit Loops. And I could've sworn that I bought a whole fucking Family Size box of those fruit fucks yesterday.
Looking at her with no emotion at all, I quietly stood there as I studied her features. Sure, it was possible that the shit head brother of mine could have ate them all with his big ass mouth, but fucking hell man, it should have taken at least two hours, and he was asleep half the time. What else was a pot head going to do? Well, yeah, he could've gotten high again and experienced yet another munchies phase, but a whole bunch of fucking Fruit Loops? No way. I didn't believe this bitch.
"Yo, Reno," I said, my eyes still fixed on Kairi, "Did you get the munchies today?"
"Why the hell do you want to know that?" He snapped back, the quirky sound in his voice telling me that he was still holding his nose. He sounded like a Teletubby, and that annoyed the living shit out of me.
"Because I fucking asked you, dipshit. Now answer me asshole."
"I don't need to answer shit to you, you son of a-" Before he could even finish the insult, I had pulled my foot forward and jammed it right back to where his limp body lay on the floor, a whole bunch of profanity escaping his mouth at the new surge of pain. Fuck yeah, I held the advantage now and if he didn't answer my question I was about to kick his face in. This was serious; my god damn Coco Puffs were on the line.
"Fuck Axel, fuck-"
"Just answer the question Reno," I interrupted, slowly turning my attention away from the short bitch that was STILL eating my Coco Puffs! to look at the redhead with as much as a stern expression as I could. Our eyes met then, and for a short minute I thought he was going to get off his lazy ass and fight like a real man, but instead he surprised me by looking away, a sign that he had given up. And Reno DeLuca Sinclair never gives up.
"Yeah, I did get the munchies," He admitted with a wistful sigh, "But I didn't touch my fucking Fruit Loops."
Well, well, well, the sexy ass bitch had lied. Moving my attention back to Kairi, I proceeded to narrow my eyes. She had lied to me, Axel motherfucking Troy Sinclair, and she will pay.
Deciding against asking her what she did to the shitty Fruit Loops, I walked pass her with my hands on my hips and went into my fancy ass kitchen. The kitchen was so fucking epic that the table even had the full Teen Titan cast- one of my guilty pleasures- printed right on top and by the holy mother of God, it was sexy. It was so sexy that I even begin to compare it to the Young Justice trashcan I had- and holy fucking pineapples there was the box of Fruit Loops.
Quickly walking over and grabbing the box, I nearly slapped the big titted bitch in the face. The Fruit Loops were under the box on top of all the garbage from yesterday, having been poured out of the bag and sacrificed to the confined abyss. She had literally sprinkled them everywhere, like flinging ashes into the ocean water. But fucking hell man, fucking hell. The little shits were everywhere. Did she fall into a mad ass rage and imagine she was killing someone? Or is that just how the anorexic bitch pours her cereal? Either way, I was about to shit on someone with my mad dog face.
"Kairi Lea Hart, what the fuck is sitting right there in that trashcan?"
Taking forever like the slow bitch I knew she was, I patiently stood there with my right hand wrapped around the box and my left pointing at the Fruit Loops in the trash like a mother getting ready to scold her child. Hell, if I was her mother I would have bitch slapped this bitch all the way to motherfucking Jamaica. Not just for eating my chocolate, but for also becoming this slutty ass whore who doesn't even wear pants around her boyfriend's brother. Does she think I'm capable enough to keep it in my pants? Fuck man, I'd probably pull it out on a big titted zombie if I had the chance. But instead of talking about my lack of action for the Zombie Apocalypse, let's get back to the case of the shitty Fruit Loops which the slutty ass bitch sprinkled all over my fucking kitchen.
"Kairi Lea Hart, get your ass-"
"Calm the fuck down, you menopause bitch. I'm right fucking here."
Well someone just checked themselves right into a fucking grave. Did she really call me a menopause bitch? Or are my ears deceiving me? Her sexy ass self better hope that my ears deceived me, because I was about to prove to her just how much of a menopause bitch I was.
Already in the position to pop this smartass bitch right where she was, I was just inches away from her face until I realized that a redheaded ball of fury- which had a face of pure annoyance- stood idly behind Slutty McSlutSlut. Of fucking course, the bitch had convinced Reno to be her bodyguard. But I knew just how to put the odds in my favor.
Calmly, without even one second of hesitance, I looked Reno directly in the eyes with all the seriousness I could manage, "This bitch murdered your delicious fucking Fruit Loops."
"What the hell are you talking about?" DeLuca replied with a nervous laugh, looking at Kairi and me in a puzzled way. Did he not see the empty box in my hand, or did the punch to his nose do a number to his brain damage? Wait, what the fuck am I talking about? My brother was such a dumbass that all the doctors in the world of Narnia couldn't even find a single piece of brain pellet in his huge ass skull. So, of course, I was going to have to point out the crime myself.
"Check the fucking trashcan," I told him, my eyes showing that I wasn't kidding around. Do I kid around? No, this fucker doesn't kid around.
Bracing himself with mock confidence that I was wrong, the dumbass slowly strolled over to the Young Justice trashcan sitting in the corner. He started to laugh nervously as he stood in front of it, shaking his head as he proceeded to look in.
"You dumbass, there's nothing- Oh mu fucking god!"
Bingo. Now he believes me. Deciding not to be a douche and start laughing, I gently patted my asshole of a brother on the back. Sure, it would be the perfect time to prove to him just how much of a bitch baby he was, and pick on him about how his girlfriend had completely killed his 'babies' would give me the most humorous reaction ever, but I couldn't. Especially since his girlfriend had murdered my babies too. The bitch; eating my Coco Puffs right in front of me. Did she want me to go Megatron on her or something? Because that fucking bitch was asking for it.
Resisting the urge to growl as she slipped more of those chocolately fucks in her huge gallon of a mouth, I rapidly continued to pat Reno on the back for comfort. It was the least I could do, what with all the murders going on and shit.
"It's okay Reno, we'll just go steal some more from the pit of the giant ass store when I get my next paycheck."
"But you're not working anymore, remember?"
Oh shit, I fucking forgot. I wasn't working anymore all because of that one prissy ass bitch I ended up fucking after closing hours. See, I used to be the most epic fucking ice cream maker ever. That's right; I was the guy making all the magic happen. Yeah, I wasn't the guy who was making ice cream for the whole world, the lucky fuck, but I was the guy who worked at Dairy Queen during my junior year of high school. But wait, why the hell would he be talking about that?
"Reno, you dumbfuck. I got fired from that job years ago."
"Then what the fuck do you mean, 'next paycheck?'"
I rolled my eyes. Was he that much an idiot? See, I have a pretty damn good. It pays a lot, and that means more chocolate bitch money for me. I know, I'm an addict; but how the hell else was I going to fuel my sugar rush? I needed that chocolate man, so becoming an awesome ass employee at NobodyCorps was all worth it. Cause fuck man, it's all about the chocolate.
"My new job, dipshit. I go back to work in a week."
"I don't give a fuck," He said as he shoved my hand off his back in annoyance, a snarl escaping hips lips as he looked at Kairi, "You murdered my motherfucking Fruit Loops, you bitch."
"Not my fault, you fucker. You know I don't like Fruit Loops just as much as you don't like being sober," She replied, looking at my dumbass brother as she continued to much on my Coco Puffs. She had been eating them for at least an hour now, and she still wasn't done. Hell, did she pour the whole fucking box into that small ass pint sized bowl? Sure, it was a Spider Man bowl, but shit bitch, it wasn't a cereal castle. But enough wondering about how the hell she managed to fit 1 million of those chocolately fucks in a bowl- she had purposely murdered the two boxes of cereal I bought just so she could suck on my chocolately balls! Soaked in milk, no less!
"You fucking slutty ass bitch, you better stop munching on my chocolate balls right this motherfucking minute or else I'm gonna make you choke on them. Those are the only chocolate things I have and I'll be damned by the black Jesus if I let you eat all those little fucks."
Now it was her turn to stare, her mouth hanging open as her eyes flickered from me to the chocolately balls sitting on the spoon. I bet I scared her with my choice of words- calling the cereal 'my chocolately balls' and I'll be burned in hell if I said that right at the moment I wanted her to drop the spoon in disgust. Honestly, I wanted her to slip that spoon in her mouth and curl that tongue of hers around them like there was no tomorrow, but that would be the worse shit ever. It would be give me a hard-on and let me know that she was sexually attracted to me, yeah, but god damn- Reno would kill me right on the spot for it. Kairi was everything to him, and I knew for a fact that if anything came in the way of fucking her like he always does, he wouldn't just shit bricks in despair- he would throw those bricks at any motherfucker who tried to get close to her. But if it was me, he would shove those motherfucking bricks down my throat until my whole body impaled and bled.
So with intense fear and a curious expression that could kill, I stood there with my eyes locked on the spoon as if it was an asteroid about the hit the planet. I expected her to act in seconds without hesitation, but for some reason her arm just stayed there, holding the spoon of chocolately fucks as she contemplated between eating them or throwing them back in the wet abyss where she found them. Fuck, I even figured she would drop the bowl and spill the white cow piss and Coco Puffs all over the floor, but hopefully she didn't because I would rather kill myself than watch those sweet ass things fall to the floor. I mean, it would be a fucking World War III going on if that happened, and I swear by every chocolate loving bitch baby out there that I would beat the shit out of her until I heard her bones snap myself- and since I'm pretty deaf it would be the most fucking painful shit in the universe. And I mean it.
Slowly, ever so slowly, I watched as the sexy ass slut started to move the spoon, her mouth opening as the spoon dotted with mini chocolate circles moved towards it. She was actually going to eat them, after I even said that they were my motherfucking balls. I didn't know whether to dance around like an idiot or to just knock the bitch flat on her ass. What was she thinking? Obviously, she was thinking something like, 'Axel is so fucking hawt,' but seriously, this wasn't a Sims game- I could be murdered by my own brother. Was she that fucking stupid, or was she-
"Keep your fucking balls."
Yup. She was just being a bitch. Now when I say that, I mean it. She had fucking flung those tiny balls o' mine right the fuck at me so they stuck to my shirt like chocolate nipples, and I'll be shitting myself if I didn't admit that the force of milk hitting my skin stung like a bitch. But of course, the fact that it had hit my hair made me want to lose all sense of reason and jam my fist right through her skull, but I wouldn't do that. Why? Because the motherfucking bitch had been polite enough to give me back my cereal- even if she did throw a spoonful at me. Either way, chocolate was fucking chocolate, so I took the initiative and popped those suckers off my shirt and threw them right in my mouth. And by God, did they taste god.
"You know," Reno said as he turned around, carrying the now wet and empty box of Fruit Loops with him, "That was the strangest shit I've ever seen in my life, and I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that."
"Touché, Reno, touché," Kairi agreed, her eyes locked on me as she slowly and seductively licked her lips. She was just so fucking fine, and as I watched that sweet little tongue of hers trace across those ruby red lips, I just wanted to push her against a wall and feel the inside of the warm area myself. But damnit, I couldn't. in some ways, Kairi was just another sexy ass bitch my brother happened to pick up, but in other ways, she was like my sister and ruining that was not something I wanted to do. So instead of watching her swirl her tongue around, I decided to take the initiative and break the silence. I needed a shower, and this cow piss was ruining my spikes.
"I'm gonna go take a shower," I said abruptly, my eyes dropping to the floor as I moved pass her. She didn't say anything though, just stood there as she clucked her tongue and nodded. It wasn't until I reached the top arch leading to the stairs that I heard her feet across the floor, and even then I could tell we were both tense.
"Hey fuckwad," I heard her say as my feet paused on the third step, "How are you going to get more chocolate anyway? I miss stealing your stash."
I rolled my eyes at this, a small smile decorating my face as I let out a chuckle. She had totally admitted to stealing it, and damn if I wasn't soaked I probably would have slapped her right across her face and kicked her in her vagina right then and there because fuck me, she was stealing my damn chocolate! But unfortunately, I didn't even feel like returning her smartass comment with one of my own, and that was saying a lot.
Shaking my head, I slowly turned around and looked at her with a serene expression. I was wet, I was tense and shit man, I had no chocolate. What was I supposed to do with my life?
"I don't know Kai, I guess maybe I'll just wait until I go back to work next week."
"But you won't even be you if it takes that long," She argued, "You'll be like a depressed zombie who doesn't even feel like eating brains for breakfast."
"Well how else am I supposed to get any?" I asked, my voice showing that I was annoyed at the conversation. It's not that I hated being reminded that I didn't have any chocolate- oh wait, I did- but I was annoyed at the fact that she wasn't offering any ideas. I mean seriously, if you're gonna argue you should at least have an idea of what to do instead. If not, then you better shut the fuck up before I go all Donkey Kong on you and pound your face in the ground. Honestly, don't those idiot fucks know any better?
Anyway, I searched Kairi's face, expecting an answer of epic proportions, but instead all I got was a confused face and the sound of crickets flowing through the air. It was like a scene from Spider Man when Mary Jane stood there as Peter Parker said they couldn't be together. But this wasn't a love scene concerning the people themselves, no, it was a scene concerning my love for chocolate and me. So as I let my eyes flicker across her frozen face, I slowly came to realize that she didn't have any idea of any other possible solution; she had just argued based on instinct.
Frowning at this realization, I decided to turn around and continue climbing the stairs. I was already too annoyed and impatient to care that my pants were falling, and even though I silently wished the Batman boxers I wore were enough to break her from her reverie.
"I'll see you after I shower Kai, thanks for-"
"I got it!" She shouted enthusiastically as she climbed the stairs two steps at a time, her face lit with a smile of pure happiness. She then grabbed my shoulders and pushed me down so I was on the same level as her, not even caring that the milk which still fucked with my hair sprayed all over her T-shirt.
"Got what?"
"You can make chocolate! All you need are the ingredients."
Now it was my turn to be confused. The thought of making the sweet and sugary fucks never once crossed my mind, and I could honestly say I didn't know shit about making chocolate. I mean seriously, do I look like I belong in the kitchen? Okay, sure, I was a total Martha Stewart when it came to baking since Reno always wants every fucking sweet to make the joys of pot more exhilarating, and I was a motherfucking beast at cooking, but making chocolate? The shit never crossed my mind. But hey, it was worth a fucking shot.
"Okay," I said with a quirked eyebrow, "What's the first ingredient I need?"
"Well," Kairi thought, her cheeks showing surprise as she tried to stifle a laugh at my stupidity, "First you need the sugar."
~ End of Chapter One ~
Now, I know, kind of a 'Dafuq?' Fanfic right? I mean, superheroes, cereal, chocolate. . . And then there's the Reno and Kairi thing. But anyway, leave a review and tell me what you think. Second Chapter will be up sometime during next week.