Thank you for the sweet reviews on my first fic He Was This Guy
I hope you like this one.
Things I've Miss
The air is cool, the trees are bare, and the streets are covered with white snow splashed with the usual New York filth from people passing by. Christmas is coming up and Robin got her holiday vacation from her hectic travelling. The plane she's in just landed JFK airport and she is excited to finally see the gang again especially, of course, her ex husband.
She immediately pick up her phone and texted him.
R: Just landed. Be there in 30mins. Gonna drop my things first
His reply came when she's already at the hotel where she's staying before going back to work again.
B: Great.
R: And I have good news for you! Can't wait to see your proud face!
Again no reply.
After another cab ride, she finally knocks on his apartment door. A guy wearing a well-fitted suit, with red bull in hand, opened it.
She wears a huge smile and enters her once home and gives him an embrace, the one where she puts both her arms behind his neck. He reciprocates the gesture and pulls her into a tight hug, his arms wrap around her waist. It's their usual way to show they've miss each other.
"Wow. I've missed you so much Barney" They were still hugging.
"I've missed you too"
He guides her in towards the counter where food is served. They sit side by side.
"I know you might be starving so I ordered Chinese for dinner. You probably miss New York food by now."
"And so you ordered Chinese?" She raises her eyebrows. "You do know I was in China 3 weeks ago right?"
"Yah. Chinese food in New York. It's different. It's New York food!" He insists. She laughs a little.
They continue with their small talks as they eat and drink and have fun. It's amazing how the simple act of eating brings so much joy on both of them at the moment.
They finish their food and together they clean the table and throw boxes in the trash. Just like old times. And it feels comfortable. It feels home.
They settle in on the couch and she starts to talk.
"So guess what" She says excitingly. "Remember when I asked my boss to send me to the UN summit as a researcher and he turned me down?"
"Yeah?"
"Well this time they asked me to do the coverage. To be the lead reporter to it." She's still overwhelmed. "I mean I just wanted to be a researcher or a writer to it but now, now I'm the freaking lead!"
He smiles at her doing nothing to cross the boundary of their established friendship. "Congratulations. You deserve it"
"Thank you. I wanted to tell you immediately but I just needed to see your reaction."
"You made the right call"
"What do you mean?" She's still smiling.
"You know. The divorce…Look where you are now."
And her smile gone.
She can't agree to what he is saying but he made a good point.
She patiently waits to see the proud face of Barney but nothing. She knows it is his 'congratulations' smile but not the 'I'm so proud of you' one. She starts to get a real feel of the place. It is only then that she knows he is hiding something.
She mentally counts how many cans of red bull he already had since she got there. Four.
She stands and walks towards the fridge. She opens it and see about 3 dozens of booze. She takes a can of red bull, opens it, and drinks it while she returns to the couch.
"Tell me what's wrong" She sounds serious.
"Nothing" He takes a swig and empties his 4th can.
"How stupid do you think I am?" Her voice calm. "Tell me. Please"
He inhales deep then sighs.
"Uhm…" He looks at her and then looks down. "It's Ellie"
I didn't even remember that Barney is now a father. She nods to encourage him to continue.
"She's not mine" His voice chokes.
"You're off the hook then!" Maybe we still have a chance after all
She sounds inappropriately happy. He finally looks at her again.
"I knew you'd say that. You hate kids, even if you know it's my kid" He gave her a 'how could you' look.
"I'm sorry Barney. That one is my fault." She puts her one hand on his knee. "Please continue"
He hesitates for a while but she keeps her encouragements up.
"There's something you don't know. I've been visiting a doctor at FamCo. I started to go there the day we had a lovely walk at Central Park and you found the baby in the carriage cute. They specialize in surrogacy there. I wanted to talk to you about it but then we got divorce the month after. I got back there and told the doctor to just quit it because I lost my wife. He suggested that I could still go through with it if I really wanted to. And I really wanted to. And so he got me an egg donor for it"
He really wants a kid.
"Everything was fine. I had an egg donor and a surrogate mother to carry my child. I waited. I visited the facility for months and then I got my baby but now they tell me she is not mine"
"Are they sure?" She asks.
"Yeah" He sighs. "Turns out FamCo was being sued by one of its scientists for using her egg without permission. She is the biological mother of Ellie. I mean, I've paid $15,000 for the whole process! That's why I filed a case against the company too. And also a custody case for my child. I lost on both cases. The cash I paid them was justified as a payment to the service that I legally signed. And the mom got Ellie because she was a victim too and also I learned that they 'mistakenly' disposed of my sperm and 'mistakenly' used another."
"I'm so sorry" She sincerely says. She could see his eyes, his blue eyes, that always tell her what he's feeling. And she sees that that blue eyes are near to tear.
"I'm the guy with an unsuccessful marriage. Now add this. I'm now also the guy who is so desperate to have a family." He covers his face with both hands trying to hide embarrassment.
"Barney it's not something you should be embarrass about." She rubs his back in comfort.
It turns like this for a moment: He pouring his emotions and she trying to make him feel good again.
"Uhm. Can I ask you something? Why did you have to lie about Ellie being from a random lay?"
"You know" He pauses. "It's more like me"
She knows the opposite. She knows Barney. She knows that he is a man who gives the best to people he loves. She knows that she was the happiest person when she was with him. She knows him well that she could tell he's a mess right now.
She looks him in the eyes upon his answer. She wants to ease his pain for a moment, to share with his burden. It's my fault. Having a family should be easy, it should. But I'm infertile and I left my husband, now he is miserable because he is left with nothing of his dream family.
She hugs him again. "No you're not" She says while still hugging him.
She broke the hug after an awkward amount of time.
"You should just have nailed a random chick. It's easier" She jokes.
He laughs lightly. "So much easier" He agreed jokingly.
"Thank you though." He adds afterwards.
"For what?"
"For being here. You're just the person I need right now." He smiles at her.
"Anytime" She smiles back.
Anytime.