(I don't own Final Fantasy or its characters.)
"Hey stop it! You're spilling corn everywhere!" Zell complained.
"What? Am I?" Seifer asked while lifting the newly opened industrial sized can of corn niblets over his head. A few more pieces of corn rained down onto the formerly pristine floor of the Garden cafeteria kitchen.
Seifer dropped the heavy can down onto the stainless steel worktop with a massive thud that rattled nearby bowls and utensils. He picked out a few kernels from the top of the can and flicked them towards Zell's face. He was delighted to see that one of the corn niblets stuck to him. That had been his goal, but he honestly hadn't expected it to work. Maybe Zell's face was intrinsically sticky. He filed that knowledge away for further pranks.
Zell let out an angry growl while his face reddened. He turned his head and bared his teeth at Seifer while making a fist. He wanted to look like the sort of person that even Seifer wouldn't mess with, but he usually fell short. Actually, he always fell short. Five foot five inches short. And anyways, wearing disposable plastic gloves made his fist look much less menacing than usual. He didn't even have a chance today. He should just give up and be quiet. Or should he? No.
"You're making a mess Almasy!" he spat out in a rage before turning back to his cutting board. He was angry, but the food wasn't going to prep itself. He was forced to be in the kitchen for a reason. A stupid one.
"Don't worry Chickenwuss, I'm sure you can just peck up these kernels from the floor when we're done," Seifer responded while trying to run his fingers through his hair.
Seifer frowned momentarily when he remembered that an unattractive black string hairnet confined his dark blond hair. Minus 10 points on the handsomeness scale. It ruined his image and was an affront to his dignity, but he'd tried to take it off before and a cafeteria lady had screamed shrilly at him. He wasn't afraid of those ladies, but he didn't want to damage his hearing further. Fujin's speech style and his gunblade's explosions did that enough.
"Why do you keep calling me that?" Zell asked while decidedly not looking up from the pile of onions he was chopping furiously. The onion bits leapt into the air at each strike of the chef's knife.
Seifer leaned his hips heavily against the counter and pretended to think for several moments.
"Well, the wuss part should be explanatory. And the chicken part... hmmm... let's see... you have easily ruffled feathers and I don't know... your hairstyle looks like a CHICKEN'S BUTT!"
Zell turned to glare at him again, knife in hand.
"I mean I understand that you want to extend your hair to give the allusion of height, but don't you think that it's too much? Very obvious. If you wanted to look taller, why not wear some platform shoes or high heels? Those options would be much less noticeable," Seifer teased while narrowing his eyes to focus even greater scrutiny on Zell's appearance. "Although right now with that hairnet, it looks more like a chicken trapped in a wire cage. Do ya think so too Leonhart?" Seifer addressed to Squall, who was at the far back of the kitchen.
Squall continued to ignore Seifer and Zell's squabbles while chopping carrots. He still had two hours left of this punishment and he wanted it to go as quickly and smoothly as possible. If he could get by without having to talk with Seifer, Zell, or a cafeteria lady, he'd almost be content. Then he could go back to his dorm room and avoid people until classes the next day. The methodical sound of carrots being chopped was the only response Seifer got.
Seifer was used to Squall's silence and didn't pay it any attention. He was confident be able to get a reaction out of Squall eventually. He had a few more hours to work with.
"Just don't waste any more food," Zell said. "Don't you know that's wrong? My ma always said that there are tons of hungry people in the world, maybe even in Balamb too and..."
"I doubt your mom has ever gone hungry Dincht," Seifer said.
The kitchen went quiet, except for the sound of Squall's steady chopping. Chop. Chop. Chop.
"What'd you say about my ma!" Zell exploded. This time he was seriously angry. He could take teasing about himself. Actually he couldn't, but he thought that he could and he wouldn't stand for anybody mocking his beloved ma. That woman had given birth to him!
Seifer looked over and noticed Zell's eyes were red rimmed and he looked on the brink of tears.
"Whoa, calm down there mama's boy. Don't embarrass me by crying. I gotta be stuck in this detention for several more hours with you. Let's not make this any more uncomfortable than it already is," Seifer said while pretending to not enjoy this particular detention.
"I'm not crying, I'm chopping onions!"
"Sure, sure," Seifer said while yawning and picking up a knife to peel a potato.
"I'm chopping a giant pile of onions! Enough onions for the entire Garden!" Zell said while slamming his knuckles into a stainless steel bowl. The bowl skittered across the work surface and bounced into the wall.
"Is that going to be your new go-to excuse for everything?" Seifer asked while peeling a potato with a knife. He'd managed to peel the entire potato with only making one long peel. Then he threw the newly peeled potato into a large bowl to be chopped later. "Instructor Aki," he said in a higher pitched voice, "I did badly on my exam because of the onions. It's the onions' fault. The onions made me do it."
"Just shut up Almasy," Zell said. "Why are you always so annoying? What are you so miffed about?"
"Oh I don't know. The fact that I have to spend the afternoon with you two. I could have been having a relaxing afternoon being adored by several of my lovely lady fans instead of doing dinner prep as a punishment with you sweaty guys."
"Pfft," Zell responded, "I don't think Raijin would classify as a lovely lady."
Seifer's mouth compressed into a tight line at the mention of his loyal friend.
"Fujin either," Squall said quietly, but not quietly enough.
"You keep your mouth shut about Fu!" Seifer retorted while spinning around and pointing his knife menacingly in the direction of Squall. "One of these days I'm going to slice that blank look off of your pretty boy face!"
"Yea right," Squall muttered while continuing to chop carrots unhurriedly, "even you wouldn't do that." He didn't appear to be going quickly, but his giant steel bowl was almost completely filled with neatly chopped carrot cubes.
Seifer slashed at the air a few times before turning back towards his work space. He drummed his fingers on the stainless steel countertop while trying to remember what he'd been doing, other than bothering his fellow classmates/detention sufferers. Something boring with potatoes.
The sounds of chopping continued while he thought.
"So... you... think... Squall is pretty?" Zell asked without stopping cutting onions, trying to irritate Seifer.
"No, but I'm sure you do," Seifer said in a calm tone.
"Shut UP!" Zell yelled while slamming his knife down onto the cutting board.
"No, you shut up Dincht," Seifer responded.
"I wish you'd BOTH shut up," Squall said loudly enough for them to hear. He reached out to grab his bowl of carrots when Seifer quickly turned to slap it out of his hands. It went flying across the kitchen and landed on the smooth tile floor with a loud metallic clang.
My carrots!
Squall's eyes lifted to meet Seifer's.
"Oh, that got your attention did it Leonhart?" Seifer asked. He reached out and flicked his chef's knife in Squall's direction with a sneer.
Squall peeled his plastic food prep gloves off carefully before flipping them onto the counter. He then whipped off his hairnet with one smooth motion before cracking his knuckles. He threw the hairnet down with force, but it floated delicately down like a feather. Not as dramatic as he'd hoped, but his intentions were clear.
"Finally," Seifer said.
"Hey, stop it!" Zell yelled while trying to grab at Seifer's apron strings.
"I don't need your help," Squall said in Zell's direction.
"Yea, he doesn't need your help. And stop trying to hang on my apron strings baby. I'm not your mama," Seifer said.
Had they both gone nuts? What were they even going to do? Zell didn't know. They were in the Garden kitchen making soup!
"This whole punishment is your fault Leonhart," Seifer said. "You instigated our fight, for once. I didn't think you had it in you. I'm actually kind of proud."
"My foot slipped," Squall said.
"Yea right, and my elbow slipped... into your face... repeatedly," Seifer said. "It would have been a classic hallway fight if Dincht hadn't ruined it. How'd he trip over us and get involved anyways? He's a martial artist and he can't even watch his own feet. Sad."
"Hey, I'm a great martial artist!" Zell spoke up. Zell mimicked doing a roundhouse in Seifer's direction. "And my foot is about to slip too. Why don'tcha get back to work guys," Zell said to them.
Seifer took a step backwards and bumped into the counter. A large can of stewed tomatoes tipped over and the juice spilled all over the floor, making it slick. It pooled around Seifer's feet as he tried to sidestep it. His foot slipped in the juice and his arm flailed out while trying to regain balance and struck Zell in the face.
Droplets of blood appeared under Zell's nose. He touched his hand to his face to see what the wet sensation was. When he pulled his hand away he saw a small red smear.
"Did you just give me a bloody nose Almasy?!" Zell yelled in disbelief.
Even Seifer looked surprised. He had many scenarios in his mind for this detention, and this wasn't in one of them. Oh well, blood had been drawn and there was no option to back out now, at least not according to his 17-year- old reasoning abilities. Time to run with it.
"That's right, I did," he said while straightening to his full height. He took a step closer to tower over Zell. "What are you going to do about it Chickenwuss?" He reached out to mess with Zell's hair, but he was deflected by a swift arm block. Zell pushed him backwards, causing him to smash into Squall.
"Get off me," Squall said while shoving Seifer away. "And what's your problem? You think you're too important to make food? You'll eat it, but you won't make it? Or you just can't focus on anything without talking and causing trouble? Do you ever think anything you don't say, loudly?"
"Do you ever think anything at all Squall? I know you don't talk," Seifer said. "And is this soup so important to you?" Seifer asked while grabbing a huge stainless steel stock pot, the contents sloshed around. He was going to take it up a notch.
When Zell saw their afternoon's work being threatened, he wished he could just go back in time and stop the trouble that was brewing. Why couldn't he control his temper and just be quiet?! This wasn't the place for horsing around.
"Hey, we've been working on that. Don't ruin it!" Zell complained. "Can't we go fight outside later? I'm game. Let's go do that. Later!"
Seifer lifted the pot higher. Zell took a step towards him with his hands in the air. Maybe he could guide the pot back down to the countertop. That would have been great if he hadn't stepped in the puddle on the floor and slid into Seifer. The highly lifted pot tipped to the side and spilled over onto Squall's head.
Yelling. Screaming. Splashing.
The stock pot fell to the floor with a colossal clang that reverberated throughout the cafeteria. Soup had sloshed all over the floor. Nearly all their afternoon's work was ruined.
They looked down at their white aprons. They'd been splattered and stained with tomato juice. It looked like blood.
A cafeteria lady's head popped around the corner to see what was going on. More screaming.
Seifer turned and elbowed Zell in the stomach. Squall shoved Seifer. More shoving. More yelling. More slipping and sliding.
With all the commotion going on, it didn't take long for the cafeteria ladies to call for backup. Within minutes, they'd called for help and gotten a response from the nearest available authority figure.
Instructor Aki stormed into the back of the kitchen. His nostrils flared and his face reddened with exertion and anger. He couldn't believe the mess he was seeing. He expected better from these students. They all had such great potential. They might even make SeeD someday.
"That's it! Since you three couldn't handle this detention, I'm making you report for another detention tomorrow. This time you'll be shoveling T-Rexaur dung in the Training Center!" Instructor Aki yelled. He gave them all stern glances before turning to leave in disgust.
Squall, Seifer, and Zell stood in silence for a minute. They looked over the chaos they'd caused. Zell felt remorse at his temper, but he figured they'd all agree to behave for the remaining time and clean up the kitchen together. At least that's what he thought. Seifer was the first to speak.
"See ya tomorrow boys," Seifer said as threw his stained apron on the floor and strolled out of the kitchen. To Zell's amazement, Squall followed him out without a word.
"HEY! We have an hour and a half of detention left!" Zell yelled. "Guys, seriously? GET BACK HERE AND HELP ME AND CLEAN UP THIS MESS!"
The End.
Author's Notes: Siobhane wanted writing prompts, so I suggested a few. This was one of them. It sounded like fun so ending up doing one of my own suggestions. It was silly and fun. I hope you liked it. R &R. (Siobhane's one is called Article 313. Go check it out if you want.)