It was totally Valentine's day in skyrim. I am hildreannaleena the dovahkiin. I wos gonna go on a totes valentines date with my totes bf Farkas.

It was gonna be at the Winking Skeever, the expensev restaurant in Solitude. My totes friend Odahviing had like, recommended it to me. I arrived there wearing a designer dress, it wos blue and sparkely. I ahd bort it wen I went dress shopping with odahviing, who is a crossdresser dragon. Any totes way… SUMFING WAS WRONG!

Why do fings always have to go wrong for me!? In the restauarent there wos a…. totally eval GIANT in the restaurna.t he wos rely tall becos he was a totally giant so he kept breaking things like the roof. He had a giant club and was wacking ppl on the head, including the bard Lisette who was trying to sing the Tail of Tongues wich wos a song about me, the dragoborn! I cudent believe the giant was insolent enough to interrupt a song about me! I fus ro dah'ed at him but it dident do much becos he wos so big. I reached for my designer sword, Dawn totes breaker. But it wosent there! I realised I hadn't brought it becos it wudent look fashionable with my dress. Oh totes no, I cudent fite! I was abot to run away but I ran into someone, it wos… my totes bf Farkas!

"help theres a giant attacking!"

"I know I can see it. Don't totes worry!" then he… TURNT INTO A WEREWOLF!

I gasped. I had forgotten that he was a totally were totes wolf. He howled becos he was a wolf and sprinted up to the giant and ran into it so fast that it fell totes over! Then he nrly killed it, but then it hit him wif its club! I wos like nooo, my poor totes werewolf boyfiend was bleeding to death! I remembered that I could do magic which I totally lernt at the college of winter totes hold. I burnt the giant to death, it died. But there wos a giant smelly giant in the tavern! This wos a problem. But before I cud complain about how the smell was overpowering my designer perfume that cost 500 gold from Angeline's aromatics, in sopitude, a guard totally ran in. someone had put a bucket on his head but he took it off.

"being a werewolf is totes illeegs! He shouted at Farkas." Im arresting you!

"Noo!" I shputed. "he is my totes bf and he saved the inn and even all of solitude from a super evil gian.' I pointed at the giant lying on the floor.

"I don't care! Hes going to jail for totes ever!"

"but it's not even his fawlt that hes a werewolf!'

'actually I decided to become a werewolf,' he totally admitted. "but still I saved everyone!'

'STILL TOTALLY ILLEGAL!' shouted the uard. Then he arrested Farkas and put him in the totally dunegons!

Oh my totally nein devines, this was the worst valentines day like totes ever. I couldn't believe the fancy restoreant had been destroyed by a giant, my bf had been arrested even tho he did nothing totes wrong and to top it all off there was blood on my designer dress! I had to get changed into some designer leather sneak gear. I was going to break Farkas out! I knew some sneaking because im hildreannaleena, the dovahkiin and I can do anything. I snuck stealthy into the dungeon, past the totally guard who was asleep anyway. I snuck into the totally dungeon.

I saw Farkas, he looked sad and dejected in the dungeon. But his silver werewolf eyes looked happy again when they saw me. "don't totes worry farcas, ill break you out. Wait, then youll still have a totally bounty on your head!'

'a bounty? Like the chocolate bar?"

"Nooo," he wos so stupid sometimes but I loved him anyway, "like when you have to pay your bounty."

"Oh yeah."

"wait, I jus tremembered that im really rich, that's how I can afford all these designer clothes!" I totally ran up to the guard.

'excuse me I'd like to pay farkas bounty'

'STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!'

"oh em totes gee, that's oblivion guards who say that and youre a skyrim guard get it right!"

"oh oops lol, ok."

Yay, Farkas' bounty wos paid! We could continue our date, but we had to go somewhere totes else.

We decided to have it at the totes companions hall becos all the pther companions were out. Omg it was so romantic and atmosphere!

Happy valentines everybody. Omnd (oh my nine divines, skyrim totes reference lol) i missed writing about Hildreannaleena!