I confess at being a young awkward DBZ fan (maybe even a pitiful and nervous nerd) and this is my attempt at a viable Piccolo/Gohan Romance/Family/Friendship/Supernatural tale somewhat laced with angst and horror—one in which Goku does not return the seven years after Cell. It starts with flashbacks I hope aren't too confusing, but will eventually lead to the main setting of this story. Hopefully it won't be too terrible; with how scrambled I feel sometimes, I don't know. I identify with Gohan and Piccolo. In many ways they are the odd ones of the Z Senshi, and I have never felt I belonged anywhere. Chichi also gets a bad rap, so I will give her a lesbian relationship with an OC, and I will probably include multiple Z member relationships of different kinds throughout. But the story is mostly for Gohan and Piccolo. So, give it a try if you want. This free writing was a suggestion from my therapist after my family suddenly moved us and things have just been pretty hard in multiple areas since. Please be gentle if you review. Thank you for reading. I hope this story will come to touch at least some other awkward persons in positive ways as it will be a type of catharsis for me as I continue this new journey of writing it.
(Un)Requited
1
"Piccolo san?"
"What brat?"
"Do you… Do you think we have a chance against the Saiyajin coming?"
The stern tall green caped man peered down hard at the small child he had been training for some months; his stomach turning as on some level he knew the hard truth without knowing. But he also knew they had no choice but to try.
"Would I waste time training you if we did not?"
The small dark-haired child frowned and then sighed audibly.
"I guess not Piccolo san. You are a very smart and amazing person. I do not think you would waste time on a weakling like me if there was no hope at all."
Something in Piccolo did twinge painfully at the child's choice of words. The kid was anything but a weakling. And quite honestly, he ought not to have to fight any war so young. Though his face remained painfully stoic, the kid was beginning to touch things inside of him, breaking barriers he never wished broken; deeply conflicting him.
"Flattery will get you nowhere kid. Just get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be another long day."
"Yes Piccolo san. Goodnight."
"I missed you so much Piccolo san! I'm so glad we're back on Earth together. I fought with my all to make sure you were brought back to life… Are… Are you proud of me?"
Piccolo's chest warmed, feeling peculiarly full, unnerving him slightly. Yet he would relinquish such a feeling for nothing in the world, keeping his face trained as usual.
"You did alright brat. Just do not slack off. Knowing your father, he is sure to attract some other cosmic asshole once he finally returns from training in space."
"Gohan?"
"I just never heard you curse before. It was surprising is all," answered Gohan with large unblinking eyes.
"Words are merely segments of communication Gohan. Just like people, words are not bad until cowardly and atrocious people force badness into them. Sometimes only bad words can effectively and accurately communicate what is needed."
"Yeah. I guess you're right Piccolo san." Who put such badness in you Piccolo san? Such sadness? Will you ever really let me in? Can we be…?
"Your mother is probably worried sick kid. Go home."
"Piccolo san… Thank you for training me, for being my Master and best friend. I am so glad you were born. This world would not be so great without you," offered Gohan sincerely, his large innocent shimmering black eyes gazing the long way up into Piccolo's.
Piccolo eyes burned, his chest tightening unbearably, much to his chagrin, but he kept his trained face and patted the kid on the head, looking outwards at nothing in particular as he fought to control the profound emotions he did not wish to acknowledge he had.
"The same could be said of you Gohan." This world… my world would certainly not be the same without you. "Now go home for supper before your mother snaps both our necks."
Gohan grinned once Piccolo finally looked back down at him. Something warm, something profound he did not fully understand yet was growing inside him. And he was happy it was, was happy he wasn't alone anymore; grinning the whole flight home.
"Kid, you know what you're doing is not healthy."
"I'm fine Piccolo san. Just leave me alone."
"Gohan, it is not your fault he is not returning this time. He—,"
"All I had to do was kill Cell when I first had the chance. That's all! But no, I had to get all high and mighty like some evil asshole jerkwad instead of just getting the job done."
"Gohan!"
"It's true isn't it?!" screamed Gohan dejectedly, angrily, tears he could no longer hide streaming out his eyes and down his young face.
Piccolo's brows crinkled and his fingers twitched. In the next instant, the boy he had somewhere along the line come to care for more than his own life was wrapped protectively with his powerful arms; neither saying anything more for a long moment, as words would only ruin it.
"He's a fool Gohan. If he can't see how important, how immensely more precious some things are than fighting, then he doesn't deserve them," averred Piccolo harshly, wrapping Gohan within his cape, hating Goku more than ever for causing his dear young friend and pupil pain. All the overpowered fool had to do was come home to his family, but training was ever more important! Bastard.
It was quiet for a prolonged moment, and Piccolo wasn't sure if he hadn't overstepped his boundaries or not. But he couldn't help it. Son Goku always frustrated the hell out of him, in so many ways. But making Gohan hurt was unforgivable.
Gohan sniffed and wrapped his arms around Piccolo's neck, making the Super Namekkuseijin's eyes widen.
"He's not a bad person, Piccolo san. He doesn't mean to hurt anyone: I think I get that now. He just doesn't see things the way everyone else does… I guess he wouldn't be him if he did. I guess I'll get stronger, even without him here."
Piccolo felt increasingly awkward. The boy was getting too big to be latching onto him so closely like that. He was no longer the tiny child he would let steal hugs sometimes, when no one else was looking. Yet, the warmth they shared in that uncanny moment, the warmth he had somehow become dangerously accustomed to the longer he allowed the kid to be around him, he did not wish to let go of; allowing Gohan to decide when their strange evolved hug would cease.
"Well, I better get back home to Mother. It seems it's not going to be just us anymore, so I must help out a lot more."
"What do you mean?"
"Seems Father left Mother with a new bundle of joy. Mother's pregnant so I'm going to be a big brother soon."
Ah-ha. So that was part of the boy's sudden breakdown. "If you or your Mother need anything, you can always come to me, Dende or—,"
Piccolo's words caught in his throat as the boy suddenly kissed his cheek for the first time, hugging him a little tighter before jumping out of his arms.
"Thank you so much Piccolo san. I feel a lot better now. Can we spar tomorrow?"
"Sure kid. Can't have you getting soft," answered Piccolo, though a lot more unsure than he had ever been.
"See ya then Piccolo san!"
"Chichi."
"Piccolo."
"Could—,"
"He's not here. Gohan is not here right now. And no, I don't know where, but he always comes back before dark. He's been needing his space, growin' up and all. I understand. He's still the wonderful young man I'm proud to be mother of. But I can tell somethin' is wearing on him. He won't talk to me except overly polite greetings. I don't want to burden him too much. So much shouldn't be on his young shoulders…"
"Do you or Goten need anything?"
"What?"
"Anything at all?"
"Well, Gohan's already chopped the firewood, done all the outdoor chores for me. Could ya watch Goten for a little while I go out?"
"Sure."
"Thank you, Piccolo."
And with that Chichi hurriedly dressed in her room, kissing her seven-month-old Goten before rushing out, hopping into the hovercraft Bulma gifted her after Goku was gone for good; causing Piccolo's brows to rise. She had never left either of her children in his care so easily before. It was always a battle just to train with Gohan.
"So, I guess it's just you and me brat. I don't suppose you know what your brother's up to?"
Little Goten grasped his tiny onesie covered feet and giggled, his little tail curling around Piccolo's wrist.
"I guess I've lost my touch if I can't even scare an infant."
Goten squealed then loud enough to make Piccolo's ears hurt, tugging on his wrist with his tail tighter because he wanted to play.
"Alright, you win kid. Just no more squealing. Understand?"
Oddly enough, Goten quieted then, sitting up on his little yellow blanket easier than most children his age and peering up at Piccolo expectantly.
"Well, just what is it that infants do all day? And don't you dare squeal at me again."
Goten pouted cutely then, reminding Piccolo too painfully of the man whose looks the tyke got as the tiny child grunted and pointed to a bookshelf in the corner of the room.
"You're kidding, right? You want me to read to you. And what do I receive as payment for my troubles?"
Goten determinedly crawled up Piccolo's grand form then, striving to get his little arms around Piccolo's neck once at the summit but failing with a defeated grunt. He was just too little still.
Warmth bloomed in Piccolo's cheeks at the innocent affection, but he kept his face stern.
"Fine brat. I'll read you a story."
And Piccolo picked up a book with a green, yellow and brown dinosaur on the cover, picking up little Goten and setting him on his lap after sitting on the couch, beginning to read to the young child, not entirely displeased to do so, though he would admit that to no one.
"Shinrin san, you've been very kind to me. I always feel better after talking with you. I don't know why you felt the need to call out to me that day, but I'm grateful you did. Did I really look so pathetic?"
"No. You are a very strong and beautiful woman Chichi san, and I honestly could not bear seeing you suffer so."
"That obvious? I'm truly pathetic."
"No, and no you're not. I am just more… shall we say sensitive to certain things than most. I feel things most try to hide just to survive another day." At seeing Chichi's look of horror, she elaborated. "I don't read thoughts, but I am a bit empathic. And I felt you were too decent of a soul to let you hurt alone.
"Have you thought about my proposition? I was not joking. I would be honored to begin a real intimate relationship with you."
Chichi actually blushed, a very deep vivid red.
"I-I have never been with anyone like that other than my husband. And he is…dead," whispered Chichi painfully. He won't return this time. Maybe it's my fault… Because of me he didn't wish to come home, would rather stay away training than have to deal with me at all…
"Chichi, anyone who would take you for granted did not deserve you in the first place."
"But I was mean and insensitive to him—so much of the time, now that I think of it. I guess I thought he was too strong and thickheaded to get hurt after a while, and he always frustrated me so without trying to, so I took him for granted. I kept hanging on to my dream of having a happy healthy normal family, yet I was just as much to blame for it being so, so…"
"We all have regrets Chichi. But we can move forward for a better future. The past does not have to define us, and our present is ours to choose to the best of our ability."
The kind young Japanese woman placed a comforting hand on Chichi's shoulder then.
"We can become better with each moment, as long as we do not give up and be diligent in following the best parts of our hearts."
A short and painful gasp squeezed out of Chichi then. In the next instant, the oddly very tall, lithe and lovely Japanese woman with long flowing jet black tresses and dressed in clean black slacks and blazer took Chichi into her longer arms, and held her fondly, rubbing her back consolingly as the distraught young widow began purging herself of many longtime coming tears.
"P-Piccolo san!" screamed Gohan at the apex of his self-love session, jerking rigid until the last wave ebbed off. Tears immediately followed. While his mother had been immensely understanding of his new need to have private "self-time", he could not help but feel hollow and somewhat guilty. While already quite the scholar, he knew very well what his body was beginning to go through and why, even before his mother had had that awkward talk with him and had him watch those embarrassing films. Though young, he also knew who he wanted to be with, no doubt in his mind. But the overwhelming fear of losing the precious friendship it had taken so very much to build terrified him. He would truly be lost if Piccolo ever hated him, ever shunned him away or ever eyed him in disgust. He could not take it! Yet, being without him hurt almost more than he could take too, so enduring alone painfully was all he could hope for now; cherishing their friendship and hoping Piccolo would begin to see more than a pitiful over-powerful but awkward brat when he looked at him.
After cleaning himself off in the river, Gohan began to fly home, breathing a quiet sigh to the wind.
"Piccolo san!" cried Gohan without meaning to, truly stunned at his presence inside the house. He was so off in his own world, he failed to feel out the ki signatures in or around like he should have.
"Shh," shushed Piccolo with a bit of peeve. "Gohan? What's the matter?" queried Piccolo austerely as usual, gently tucking the slumbering Goten into his bassinet.
Gohan ran a nervous hand through his hair.
"Nothing. Um, where is Mother?"
"I do not know. She seemed strange and stressed so I did not question it. If she wished to say something more, she would have."
"So, dinner—,"
"It's in the grand crockpot. It's a one-dish stew and should be ready in the hour. You can serve yourself. And since you're here, I'll probably—,"
"Piccolo san? Would you stay and watch a movie with me?"
Piccolo's brows actually rose and his ears twitched, moving closer to his skull. He and Gohan had shared many times together over the years—training, fighting, and even the once and a while watching of a sunset or some other natural phenomenon most people took for granted—but this was the first time he asked him to stay and view Earthling cinema with him. He was not sure what to feel. Battle, meditation and the outside world he knew well. And though he knew Gohan had that perplexing Earthling affection for him, he did not understand the purpose of just sitting and watching poorly made Earthling films—not that he'd ever seen a full feature to be able to judge—but he knew Earthlings and their petty thoughts only too well. Few ever rose above to reach the higher points of consciousness. It seemed too idle of a thing. He never just sat and did nothing. There was always a purpose: for every move, breath, pose and…
"Forget it Piccolo san. I'll watch over Goten until my mother returns. I'm sure you've better things to do," answered Gohan as stalwartly as possible, though Piccolo easily caught the nuances of hurt and disappointment in his voice.
"I didn't say 'no' kid. Hell, your mother even left a note saying I could have some of that stew, once you've had your share of course, as she was probably going to get something while out."
Gohan's brows cinched then. His mother was behaving more and more strangely, ever since two weeks ago. She was far more lenient and off in her own world sometimes. He hoped she was okay, and then felt guilty. He was kind of off in his own world lately too. Was it his fault? Was she alright?
"Gohan? Are you going to get the movie ready?"
"Oh! Yeah. Of course. Just make yourself comfortable."
"Yeah, about as comfortable as a 226 cm. tall alien can be in here," Piccolo quipped with rare playfulness and a half smirk, sitting his grand form on the couch, the only piece of furniture that wouldn't cringe under his presence.
Gohan couldn't help but smile then. If only Piccolo could see how wonderful he really was. Who cares what the small minds of the world might think. Piccolo was beautiful, masterful, extraordinary. There was no other person Gohan felt so strongly for, and he could only hope his dear masking sensei felt at least somewhat the same; that he would one day have the courage to tell him the truth and make him feel just how much he truly adored him.
The movie was half through by the time the food was done; Gohan pausing it to scoop he and Piccolo their own bowls, both eased little Goten was still sleeping soundly.
After sitting down on the couch, Gohan ate hungrily at his meal, Piccolo ingesting much more slowly, committing each bite and flavor to memory while trying to watch the strange film Gohan had put in for them. Piccolo was only half through with his own when Gohan was through with all his five bowls; his movements halting and eyes widening at what he viewed on the screen.
"Gohan. I… I don't think your mother would like you watching this."
"Actually, this is one of the movies Mother picked out just for me. She knows I'm awkward about things, mostly social, and said it would help me understand some things about myself, since I'm growing up…" Gohan bit his lip then, grasping hold of his courage as he turned toward Piccolo, gazing at him earnestly. "I have already had these type feelings for someone I care about very much… Mother made me promise not to ever do it with someone I did not truly love and only safely and only when I am truly ready and it's mutual with the one I really care for. And I'll keep that promise."
Gohan bit his lip then, terrified of continuing. Yet his heart would not allow him to remain silent.
"I could tell she wanted to make me promise to wait until marriage, but she held back for some reason, her eyes becoming sad… Have you ever wanted to do this with someone you love Piccolo san?"
Piccolo felt very out of his element, putting his bowl aside. While the movie Gohan had them watch wasn't porn, it was a very deep romance following multiple young adult couples, a coming of age story utilizing people and settings from all walks of life as it told each character's unique tale of triumph and tribulation. And it was quite obvious what couples were doing during intimate scenes; even if it was so dark one could only see silhouettes every time. Chichi certainly was acting strange then. Whoa.
"And your mother had you watch this?"
Gohan flushed then a very vivid blush.
"Yeah, and she got me many educational books with detailed diagrams she never had before. After she caught me…"
"Caught you what Gohan?" asked Piccolo with a bit of dread.
"S-she caught me… touching myse—masturbating for the first time," whispered Gohan with his head down, shame and fear filling his person.
Piccolo let out a relieved sigh then. The boy just needed affirmation from a male figure he trusted. He could do that. He'd witnessed the sad passing lives of many Earthlings as Kami and Daimao; had read many books about various types of Earthling relationships and knew from observing why so many of them ended on sour notes. While uncomfortable with the subject, for he lacked some certain experience, he wasn't uneducated and would help the kid any way he could, at least be there for him. As his friend and mentor, he could do that much.
"That's nothing to be ashamed of Gohan, which is probably why your mother tried to educate you instead of yelling at you. In fact, masturbation is safer and more honorable than what most people do. I agree with your mother on that. Now that your sex-drive has begun, do not ever use someone just for sex. Only feeble and cowardly minds do that. In fact, wait as long as you possibly can to have sex with another person, until you've found the right one and you're both ready together, and be safe. Neither sex nor power makes you a man: that is a very false and destructive fallacy perpetuated throughout too much of Earthling culture. It's what you choose that might make you one; that will have or lack merit. Live honorably in all that you do as the wonderful person I am proud to know, and you should be alright kid."
Gohan's face was deep garnet. And though he felt more comfortable speaking with Piccolo about it now, there was still incredible fear. If he told him the truth of how he felt for him…
"Piccolo san, have you ever felt that way towards anyone?" asked Gohan as quiet and politely as possible.
Piccolo's elven-like ears pinned back on his head, purple climbing them and deepening his cheeks.
"Sex is not love Gohan. It's a part of nature. And no matter how much some people try to play God, no one has the power to fully and absolutely control nature: it isn't right to. But like any act, love can be put into sex so it isn't vain, Gohan. As a creature with volition, you can choose when or if you do it and how: no matter what urges you have, you always have a choice. And it is sad so many people take it for granted. I know you won't."
Piccolo paused and sighed deeply, feeling the boy's eyes and insecurities continue to bear into him as he tried to finish answering.
"I do not have a sex-drive, if that's what you mean. But I do possess hermaphrodite genitalia—should I ever wish to mate with a partner—as do all Namekkuseijin… I don't think I've ever felt romance, or even know what that is supposed to feel like.
"But you are the one person in the universe I could never hate kid. Take it as a compliment."
A bit more purple stained Piccolo's cheeks as he realized just how easy the boy had gotten so many personal truths out him he never would have told before. He was really losing his touch. Perhaps he ought to spend some time away.
"I'm going to go now, alright? If you or your mother needs anything, let me know. And stop worrying about things. You're growing up just fine kid. I am proud of you and to know you. Keep your head up. And know that I told you about Namekkuseijin, about myself in confidence, as my friend. I don't want to hear other Z Senshi talking about it, ever," Piccolo finished seriously, very much feeling the need to leave, hoping his frankness had helped the boy the way he needed.
"I know Piccolo san. Thank you for trusting me," offered Gohan with a sad smile.
With that Piccolo sighed, rubbing a hand through Gohan's thick Saiyajin hair to comfort the poor kid. He could tell something was still off in him, but he was feeling too uncomfortable himself to be of much more help in that moment.
Gohan yearned to take that hand, bring it to his mouth and kiss the palm; to breathe Piccolo in as deeply as possible until his scent was seared into his brain and kiss his full Namekku lips until they were amazingly plump. But he held back. Piccolo didn't want him yet, cared for him, but did not desire him. But perhaps it wasn't impossible. He could be patient. He loved him that much. And now that he knew it was possible. He felt some hope; waving after Piccolo as he flew off into the sunset.
When Chichi finally returned, she felt guilty. It was pretty late, but it was so easy to lose track of time with Shinrin. She had never felt so understood and cherished before. While she was needed by her precious family, which she loved with all her heart, she never felt quite… Though, she was startled as Piccolo suddenly appeared in front her before the door.
"You are later than I expected Chichi. But the boys are fine. Both have been fed, bathed and are sleeping now."
Chichi sighed uncomfortably.
"Thank you. I apologize. It uh… It won't happen again," she spoke awkwardly, moving a loose lock of hair behind her ear.
"I do not mind watching after them. Just be sure I know how long you'll be gone, please, and where you'll be just in case if there is an emergency."
He did not tell her he had left for a while, thinking she'd for sure be back soon. Though after a moment, he had to ask.
"Chichi, are you alright?"
She bit her lip and looked away, the moonlight playing on her raven hair.
"I am getting to the point where I will be. Thank you for helping and protecting my family Piccolo; I mean it," she expressed with shimmering eyes, actually looking up into Piccolo's for once without malice or disgust. It was truly ironic that this grand imposing green man was now a trusted ally instead of a feared enemy.
"Hn. Goodnight."
And with that Piccolo flew off for the last time that night, many contemplations running through his vast mind.
Inside Gohan watched him go from his window once more, a longing growing within him with each moment.
To Be Continued…
Was that too terrible for a first chapter? Well I at least know where I want this to go, but it will take time building story to get to certain points. Anyway, thanks for reading. Hopefully this wasn't too pathetic.