A/N: Hey guys! I'm here with a deviation from my ongoing OUAT fic...I just had to write this. It's a rather long one shot, it has to be said! I recently discovered this band, and I've been obsessed with them ever since. The song I've used for this fic is one of my favourites and after I watched Last Rites, this came on shuffle while I was doing something and my brain started shooting Outlaw Queen moments at me. So I had to write this.
I realise this probably would have worked better as a video but I'm not too great at that sort of thing. I'm not really sure how much I like this fic, it didn't really turn out how I wanted, it was supposed to be shorter but I got too in to it and wrote too much detail and stuff. I got in to Regina's head as best I could and there we have it. I debated posting it, but seeing as I spent so long writing it I felt like I should!I had intended to just do quick flashes but oh well! There's one scene in here that I completely made up to suit my purposes!
So the song is Right Here by Ashes Remain...I hope you like it!
Regina was sitting in her kitchen when it happened. She'd just poured herself a glass of wine and she'd turned the radio on, hoping for some noise to drown out the oppressive silence. But then the song had come on. She didn't know why it had effected her so badly, she'd never even heard it before, let alone heard of the band. It had a melodious opening that had made her ears perk up, it's when the singer's voice kicked in that it had really grabbed her attention. The lyrics…they just rang true. And strangely enough…it reminded her of Robin and when they'd first met in the Enchanted Forest and he'd been determined to befriend her for whatever strange reason he'd had. Regina shut her eyes and just listened.
I can see every tear you've cried, like an ocean in your eyes.
All the pain and the scars have left you cold.
Regina had just returned her heart to her chest, and all the pain she felt over losing Henry had come flooding back, she'd been distracted, lost in her pain. Which is why she hadn't noticed that creature watching them. That's the only reason it had been able to attack. Next thing Regina knew she was on the ground and the creature was flying away. She had barely gotten over the shock of the attack, when an accented voice had said from behind "Milady" and she'd whipped around to find a callused hand moved in to her line of vision, offering to help her up. She'd winced as the action had alerted her to a pain in her side. "You're injured!" Gathering herself together Regina looked up….in to the most stunning blue eyes she had ever seen, before she could give anything away she looked back down. But she'd felt her eyes widen slightly as she'd taken in his face. It felt as if he'd seen in to her very soul, seen how broken her heart was, seen how much pain she was in. She couldn't allow anyone to get close to her, couldn't take any more pain, so she refused his offer and corrected his term of address, even though she was fairly certain he
She couldn't allow anyone to get close to her, not after everything she had lost, she couldn't take anymore pain, so she refused his offer and corrected his term of address, even though she was fairly certain he knew exactly who she was. "A simple thank you would suffice" his gaze had unsettled her, and it was instinct to lash out, "We didn't ask for your help" she retorted as she struggled to her feet with as much dignity as she could muster. But she couldn't stop herself from studying his face as he and Snow introduced themselves. She would never admit it out loud, but he was rather….handsome.
The memory faded away as another quickly took its place.
Robin had seen her vulnerable, seen her weak. He'd been trying to get close to her ever since. To befriend her or whatever it was he had in mind. She couldn't allow him to get close to her, to try to…care for her. Not with the threat of Zelena. Anyone she cared for would be taken from her with that witch around. She refused to show anymore vulnerability to the man. So every council meeting she baited him as much as she could, sneered at him, insulted him, to remind him who she really was. To remind him she was no wilting, heartbroken female. She was strong. She didn't need him and his comforting words. She wouldn't admit that she was trying to shove down her attraction to him at the same time by trying to make him hate her. If he hated her, the attraction would wither and die she hoped.
"Why are we even listening to him, he's a thief, which means he's not to be trusted' she had sneered. A Queen could not be allowed to consort with thieves and have…intimate moments with them. He'd pulled a face, and she knew he didn't buy the facade she was putting on, he never seemed to and she knew it was because of that moment of weakness. She knew, that he knew, that she was doing her damndest to keep him at arms length. They both knew it wasn't working. "What are you even still doing here?" what she really meant was 'why the hell won't you leave". "What I'm doing here is saving your ass" oh he did not just make a comment about my…he….damn thief.
She sulked for the rest of the council meeting, only speaking to rather childishly say "Not more deadly than my magic", after all, everyone seemed to be forgetting that she had powerful magic and knew how to use it. They didn't need to trust this…thief. She wouldn't trust him . She'd scowled when Snow insisted on him coming along and he'd smirked, she just couldn't get away from him. He rubbed her up the wrong way. That was all. She'd ignored him for the rest of the day and when they'd reached Rumple's castle it wasn't long before the thief was trying to tell her what to do. Caring about her. She couldn't stand for it, refused to trust him so she ignored him and reached for the door handle, an arrow whizzed past her head and thunked in to the door sending up gouts of flame. Damn him for being right, "That arrow almost took off my head" she'd whirled, voicing her anger, albeit for a different reason. "That door almost took off your arm, where I come from a simple thank you would suffice" there was nothing she hated more than this man, trying to get under her skin. Why wouldn't he leave her alone? Leave her to deny the attraction she felt in peace, leave her to mourn Henry in peace. What was it going to take to push him away? "Where you come from people bathe in the river and use pinecones for money" she'd sneered. She'd seen his reaction, and it had made her feel terrible. If he would just stop trying to get close to her, she wouldn't have to be so….Evil Queenish with him.
I can see all the fears you face, through a storm that never goes away.
"He's just….lost to me forever" Regina said, feeling the pain well up inside her. Unable to look at the thief, unable to let him see the pain in her eyes. The fear that she would never see Henry again. Of course she hoped, she couldn't not after spending so much time with Snow but at the same time….she feared she would never see her little boy again. Never see him smile. Never see him laugh. Never hold him again. It was easier to say he was lost to her forever, to shut down the spark of hope.
Regina had been dwelling on what The Dark One….Emma…had said to her. She'd been lost in her own thoughts so she hadn't heard Robin calling to her at first. Even then she couldn't entirely focus on he here and now. She took a deep breath before telling him what was wrong, some small part of her expecting him to agree. The part that longed to return to Evil. "She said…nobody believes I can protect this town" she swallowed as the words hit her again. Robin was quick to defend her telling her it wasn't true and that everyone knew how far she'd come, but …..she couldn't shake the thought now that Emma had planted. She had been the Evil Queen for so long, she wasn't used to leading people, not the way the heroes did. She wasn't the Evil Queen anymore but she felt like…the magical backup. She knew they still didn't entirely trust her. Robin had looked at her with such a heartbroken expression, she knew it was because he hated that she didn't see herself with more worth. He'd held her and while the doubts had still been there clawing at her mind….they where muffled.
She'd wanted some peace and quiet while she read the letter, and she'd wanted nothing more than to be left alone when she'd read it and understood it's meaning but Robin had ruined her plans. She couldn't bring herself to be rude to him so she made conversation with him as best she could, hoping he'd go away. But she hadn't expected him to ask her about the letter. Had he been watching her? For how long? She hadn't heard him. She couldn't believe it when he picked her pocket to take the letter from her. How dare he!? She couldn't deny he was right though, much as she wanted to be left alone, she did want to talk about it. No she didn't want…she needed to talk about it, get things out of her system otherwise she'd be distracted and off her game when she faced Zelena. She just…had wanted more time to wallow, she supposed. She allowed him to read the letter. The words washed over her. She felt the tears fill her eyes as she told him all about what the letter had meant to her. But it hadn't been about her. She was…inadequate. Compared to her sister. Wasn't as strong as her. All this time she had thought she'd been special, but maybe she wasn't as special as she had thought. Rumple had been like a father to her in many ways, and to see how highly he thought of Regina…she remembered all the times she'd struggled when he taught her magic. Those words had comforted her, and gotten her through some of her darkest times…but they where all lies. Robin….seemed to understand. She'd told him there was no way she could win the fight but…he seemed to understand beyond that, what was causing her so much pain, and they sat in comfortable silence while she mulled over her options.
Don't believe all the lies that you've been told.
Regina didn't think as she ran to the boy as best she could in her stupidly inappropriate shoes, she would not allow this creature to harm a child. She grabbed the boy, holding him close to her as she pulled him out of the way. Putting him on his feet and whirling to poof the monkey in to a considerably less scary stuffed animal, a way to try to comfort the child. It was only as she picked it up that she saw that it had poofed in to a stuffed monkey that was incredibly similar to a toy Henry had loved as a child. She shook off the thoughts, pasted a smile on her face and handed the toy to the child. Hoping it would lessen his fear. The thief had looked at her with such gratitude, gratitude she had never seen before. He'd meant it with all his heart when he thanked her, and she thought she detected surprise in his eyes.
Robin had insisted on coming with her. Obviously knowing she would refuse an outright offer, he had followed her and sprung himself upon her when she would have no choice but to allow him to come. He'd looked surprised momentarily when she'd asked why he owed her a debt, she didn't consider saving the life of a child, something someone should owe her for, and even if she did, no-one had ever thanked her or 'owed her a debt' before so why start now. They'd each surprised the other, looking in to each others eyes it was hard to miss the sincerity in his. "Who knew a thief had honour?"
"Who knew the Evil Queen had a soft spot for children?" they stared in to each other's eyes, lost in the moment. He may smell like forest, but he really was very handsome. Then she remembered what she was planning to do. Looking away she replaced her mask. "Don't get in my way".
Seeing her mother's intended resting place shook her again, as she remembered all that had transpired with her mother, the good and the bad. She still missed her. Despite everything. In her own twisted way she had cared about her. "Like you I've lost people I care about, more than I'd like to admit" she waited to see how he would react to that, refusing to look at him until he moved. To see if he'd make some comment about all the loved ones people had lost because ofher. His next words surprised her.
"Including a child?"
"What do you know about that?" How could he possibly know about Henry? Had someone told him about Henry, was this the part when he told her that she deserved it? After everything she'd done maybe he'd be right. But he surprised her again with his words and gentle tone.
"I saw how you grabbed Roland back there. Clearly have the touch of a mother" so the thief was perceptive. But then she supposed he'd have to be.
I'll be right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down.
Snow's pep talk had gotten to her. Robin was her soul mate. Here he was, her second chance at happiness and Snow was right..she couldn't let anything hold her back heart or no. Who knew what might happen next? She had to take the chance while she could. He was sitting by a fire, and her eyes where drawn to the tattoo on his arm as he was stirring the fire with a stick. Her soul mate. Just do it, she thought. She knew he still felt guilty about what had happened, even though she'd said it was okay, said she'd do the same thing. She lost herself staring in to his eyes, psyching herself up as he apologised again. To her. No-one apologised to her. No-one made promises to her. To help her. He was so sincere. He knew who she was, and yet…he didn't treat her like everyone else did. When he seemed to be finished talking Regina switched off her thoughts, grabbed him and kissed him. Fast, hard. When they pulled back she looked at him, unsure how he'd react. She tried to throw the doubt aside, but she didn't need to as he initiated the second kiss. She felt….whole. Safe, as he wrapped his arms around her. Time seemed to stop.
Regina felt like a teenager. A teenager in love for the first time. She and Robin had seen each other at the Diner and as she'd slipped past him on her way to meet with the others, he had followed her in to the hallway. It hadn't been long before good mornings, had turned in to kisses. They couldn't get enough of each other. She knew how she felt, but she also knew that Robin knew who she was, or…who she had been. She had to know, "What do you see in me?" "Hopefully the same thing you see in me. A second chance….and you're quite a good kisser" they where so alike. Both had made mistakes, both had lost their true loves. They understood each other.
"Just wait until I get my heart back" she couldn't keep the smile from forming on her face. She hadn't smiled this much in a long time.
"What is that like? I mean can you.."
"Feel? Yes I can, just not fully, it's difficult to explain" she swallowed, worried he would think her feelings weren't….real or as strong as his may be. Worried he was about to question everything….question them.
"Then don't" he took her hand and placed it over his heart, holding it there "Use mine for the both of us" and she fell a little bit more in love with him in that moment.
I will always be the one that took your place.
Regina had been enjoying herself dancing with Robin, showing off the moves David had taught her and she'd been loathe to let him go, but she couldn't refuse Arthur's knight. Her good humour failed as he told her a story. A story that was clearly about her and her deeds in the Enchanted Forest when she was the Evil Queen. As he told her that he hadn't informed anyone else, she'd felt relief, right before she wondered what it was he could want. She didn't have to wait long to find out. He drew his sword and she jumped back. Robin who'd clearly been keeping an eye on her, came at them out of nowhere, tackling the knight to the ground. She heard a grunt of pain but couldn't tell who it had come from. The two grappled on the ground for the sword, the Knight gripping Robin by the neck and raising the reclaimed sword until David came to the rescue. It was only after the knight had fallen to the ground that she could see Robin had been stabbed. By the sword meant for her.
When the rain falls, I won't let go, I'll be right here.
She wouldn't let the thief interrupt her plans. This was her one chance to gather everything together, her one chance to use the potion, because if she failed she wouldn't get another chance. Snow would make sure of that. She had thought she and the thief had come to an understanding but evidently not.
"Then who do you plan to use it on?"
"Don't worry. No-one you'll miss. No-one anyone will miss" Regina was focused on her task. She didn't want to be in a world that didn't have Henry in it. Until then….she would sleep.
"This is about your son isn't it?" she ignored him. She didn't need to answer him. "I can't let you do this!" did he honestly think he could stop her? Under normal circumstances she would find that hilarious.
"Then it's a good thing you don't have a say in the matter" she barely looked at him as she stuck his feet to the floor. Honestly. Did he forget about her magic? She was entirely focused on her potion, on Henry, as he began to speak again.
Telling her about his wife, and how his son got him through her death and not wanting to go on anymore. She was right, he had no idea how she felt. He still had his soon. She had lost Henry. Lost him, and there was little chance she'd find him again. She couldn't handle the pain, the grief, the memories. If she had to live without Henry she didn't want to be awake for it.
"That doesn't mean you won't find a new reason. We all get a second chance Regina" Why was he arguing with her? Why did he care? She was the Evil Queen. Why wouldn't the thief just….let her go. Let it go. She assumed it was because he was worried she wouldn't do what she'd promised, and although he didn't argue with her anymore….she could hear him struggling to get himself free as she walked away.
They where having an impromptu picnic in Regina's living room. Having her heart back….it made her feelings even stronger. It was like everything before had been grey and muted and now everything was in technicolour. She was so happy she felt like her heart could burst, and as she pulled back from their kiss, she couldn't help but study his face. The happiness reflected on it as tears gathered in her eyes. She had never thought she would have this again after Daniel died. As Robin told her about his wife, and how she'd died. How it had made him feel. She felt the similarities between them. They had both lost their first loves, they had both never thought they would experience love again. They both felt guilt for what happened to their true loves. Now was the right time to finally tell him about Daniel. "My first love, Daniel, was killed because of me. Because he loved me" But she was surprised at how much Robin understood her when he said, "and that's why you never wanted to open yourself up again" he got her. He really did. They really where…soul mates. She had to tell him.
"Tinkerbell told me it was possible, I could love again. She led me to this tavern, to a man who she said I was destined to be with. I never saw his face. But…" Robin was smiling at her, looking adorably confused at the same time. She couldn't keep the smile off her face as she reached for his forearm.
"I did see his tattoo" she pushed his sleeve further down, running her fingers over the tattoo.
"It was me?" she took a breath, not sure how he would react. If he'd be angry for her actions, Tinkerbell did say that she had ruined his life…so far he looked surprised and…delighted?
"Yes." she smiled with him. "I was just too scared to approach you." she tried to explain but she didn't need to.
"Well maybe things work out when they're supposed to. Maybe it's all about timing" they smiled at each other before he pulled her in for another kiss.
I will show you the way back home, never leave you all alone. I will stay until the morning comes.
She knew Tinkerbell would react like this. "Well right now I have better things to do than gossip about boys" Henry had just lost his father after all. Besides, Tinkerbell would end up persuading her to do…something. As much as she may want to, she couldn't. Now wasn't the right time. Her crazy sister was running about hell bent on her destruction, if she found out about Robin it would end the way it always does when she loves someone. Losing them. Their whispering was interrupted when the man himself came sauntering over. She panicked. She hadn't been expecting him to come over after she'd run away from him yesterday. Couldn't he leave her be for 5 minutes?
"Care for a drink?" Regina kept her hands firmly clasped, so she wouldn't reach for the proffered glass. When it became apparent she wasn't going to take it, Tinkerbell did. Looking between the two the entire time.
"I do hope I didn't upset you yesterday" he sounded so…concerned. But she couldn't do this with him. She couldn't tell him what he was to her. Couldn't allow herself to let anything happen between them. Not now. So she took the easy way out and instead of replying to him, she hurriedly introduced Tinkerbell before making her excuses. Excuses she was fairly certain he didn't buy. She had a feeling he wasn't going to be easy to shake. She didn't have time to dwell before Tinkerbell started her lecture.
She had told him to forget her. They where only causing each other pain…she shouldn't have let it happen but it did. She'd woken up wrapped in Robins arms, that familiar combination of warmth and safety blanketing her. She felt…like she as home. Waking up in the morning to Robins arms, his body curled around hers…she wished she could do it every day.
The buzzing of her phone had alerted her to the amount of missed calls and texts she had, and once she'd dealt with her phone she heard him approach, still yawning as he bid her good morning.
"Well look who's finally woken up" she teased.
"I apologise but that was the best….sleep I've had in a long time" she had to smile at that. Cheeky as always. "How would you like to come back to my camp, and let me cook you breakfast?" her heart soared at the offer, right before it came crashing back down to Earth.
"We both know we can't do that" he had publicly stayed with his wife….he may have come to her last night, but they both knew he shouldn't have, no matter how much they had enjoyed themselves. But it was nice to have been close to him again, nice to spend a night in each others arms.
"You're probably right, Little John is a bit of a gossip" she wanted to berate him for not taking this seriously, but had an uncanny ability to make her laugh when no-one but Henry could.
"There it is! There's that elusive but satisfying smile I think about every time I close my eyes!" she couldn't shake the smile from her face and her heart swelled with the thought, reminding her it was still there. Still whole…thanks to him.
I'll show you how to live again, and heal the brokenness within.
Regina caught the arrow as it came whizzing to her. She wished she could say that it was the first time this had happened. Who could possibly want to kill her now?
"Apologies milady! I thought you where the wicked witch" so he had the wrong witch. Or did he?
"And I thought you where a flying monkey" she thought he smiled as he looked down, making his way toward her.
"I do hope the mistake hasn't cost me my head. Your Majesty" He bowed his head slightly. So he did know who she was…but he meant her any harm.
"So you know who I am?" she played with the arrow in her hand, unsure of this handsome stranger. She didn't feel threatened, despite what had just happened. She thought she'd caught a glimmer of something…
"Your reputation in the Enchanted Forest precedes you" he didn't appear to be scared, or intimidated in the least. He just kept coming towards her, a smile hovering around his lips.
"I didn't catch your name"
"Robin of Locksley at your service" she dropped the arrow in to his waiting palm. She knew who he was, she'd sent her guards after him multiple times after all. He'd been on wanted posters everywhere. "The thief"
"Well, as we're tossing labels around…aren't you technically known as the Evil Queen?" he said. She just stared at him. No-one had ever spoken to her like this before….or…had they? This all felt somehow familiar.
"I prefer Regina" he was actually smiling. Smiling. At her. After baiting her. Surely he knew he was walking a fine line if he thought he was talking to the Evil Queen. Regina couldn't seem to stop talking to him, to walk away. As it turned out, their mission had been the same and it wasn't long before the thief had decided to join her. "Just…don't get in my way"
"I wouldn't dream of it" she definitely felt something tugging at her memory that time. This felt…familiar. She couldn't stop herself from asking, "Have we met before?"
"I doubt I'd ever forget meeting you" Regina was surprised by his sincerity, and the smile that followed the statement.
The pair headed in to the cabin together, Regina immediately started looking for anything magical, talking to Robin as she did so.
"You know I've heard many stories about the great and terrible Evil Queen, but from this angle, the Evil moniker seems somewhat of an overstatement. Bold and audacious perhaps, but not evil" Regina had to smile, here was someone who knew who she was. Had heard all of the stories…but could see that she had changed. There was no fear or distrust. He knew she was different. Even the townspeople still didn't always see that.
Regina nearly told him. Zelena's comment about not realising what she had in front of her had hit its mark, but not the one she head meant. This man had protected her heart. Knowing she had been the Evil Queen…he had protected it from harm. He was her soul mate, and she had a feeling they had met in the missing year. She felt such a strong connection to him. Despite what he knew about her, he wasn't like the others. She had opened her mouth to tell him…then changed her mind at the last minute. She couldn't. Not with Zelana running around. She couldn't even keep her heart safe…but there was a person who could. Who was standing right in front of her. Who had done so already, and who Zelena knew nothing about. She should be wary, but she trusted him. He was her soul mate, but it was more than that. She just trusted him. So she asked him. "Would you mind holding on to this for a bit longer?"
"You're really going to entrust something so valuable to a common thief like me?"
"You can't steal something that's been given to you" she said, meaning every word. They stared in to each others eyes as the meaning of her words sank again, but Regina turned away after a minute or two. Unable to believe she'd actually said that out loud and feeling like a complete idiot. She started to walk away but stopped at his voice, "You still owe me that drink" She smiled. If her heart had been in her chest, she was sure it would have swelled and started pounding.
Regina smiled at the memories, tears falling down her face, she could faintly hear Robins voice as he shouted, "it didn't work because I'm in love with someone else". He had healed her. Twice actually. Once in the Enchanted Forest and then in Storybrooke before they got their memories back. He'd shown her she wasn't as broken as she thought, shown her it was okay to love again, to take that second chance. There had been more laughter in her life with Robin in it,even more joy with he and Henry. He had helped her so much, she couldn't even recall every exact moment, every little thing. There where that many. That many times he'd said or done something that had healed her heart, or brought her that little more to life. Made her that little bit more like her old self. She wiped her cheeks before continuing to listen to the song.
Let me love you when you come undone.
Today was Henry's birthday. The first one she wasn't with him for, he was with Emma and she was here….stuck in her castle full of old and painful memories. Every time she walked down a corridor or in to a room all of them hit her, all awful. She'd been strong all day, held it together. Everyone had noticed she was in a foul mood but only Snow and Charming really knew why and they had been as understanding as they could be. But she had wanted to be alone. It was at dinner that she had lost her self control. Granny had remembered. She had baked a birthday cake so that they could celebrate with Henry in spirit. Regina had forced a smile and received her piece of cake. She'd tried to eat it but she just couldn't taste it and then she'd seen the thief's little boy, so much like Henry. Too much. She'd excused herself, Snow and Charming giving her worried but understanding looks and walked out of the dining room at a brisk pace. She'd made it a good distance but not far enough, and she wasn't anywhere near her rooms when the tears started to slide down her face. She couldn't fight them off any longer, it was like the floodgates had opened, and she quickly ducked down a dark corridor, she put her back to the wall. Trying to take deep breaths. She slowly slid down the wall. The tears came faster and faster, she was struggling to breathe. Choking on her sobs. Then she felt strong arms around her, holding her. She smelled forest. The thief had already seen her vulnerable once, she couldn't bear the fact that he was seeing it again. She tried so damn hard to push him away, to keep him at arms length because for some reason he'd decided he was going to keep an eye out for her, care about her, try to befriend her or whatever. While she found him attractive, she couldn't allow him to get close to her. She couldn't, and yet she couldn't bring herself to push him away. She hated him seeing her like this again but….his arms where so warm. So safe. She was still sobbing, but she felt her breaths coming easier as he slowly rubbed her back, pulling her on to his lap. To hell with it she decided, and brought her face to rest in the gap between his shoulder and his neck. She didn't know how long she cried on him, but he just sat there, rubbing her back, his arms around her and his head resting against hers. Not saying a word.
"I can't just fall back in love with Marian, not when you're in my life" he said. She supposed it was supposed to be a compliment, show how much he cared about her, but this was torture. She'd told him so not 5 minutes ago and yet he still carried on. He decided to stay with his wife and she understood why, but he couldn't stay away from her, he couldn't stop telling her all about his feelings for her. She had failed to unfreeze his wife. Because he was in love with her. That's why true loves kiss hadn't worked and it was her fault that Roland was without his mother. Robin without his wife, the woman he said he'd have gone to hell and back for.
"Which is why I can't be in your life!" she'd been trying to avoid him but he was making it so hard.
"You're right" she felt a stab of pain in her heart. "But that doesn't change the fact that I don't know what to do" she hated seeing him like this, and it was her fault. Yet he still loved her and she still loved him.
"You need to forget about me, and start thinking about her" she managed to get out as she felt her heartbreak a little bit more.
I'll be right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down.
The curse was coming, they didn't have much time and Robin wasn't making this easy. Didn't he understand? When the curse hit she would become the Evil Queen again, the Queen who delighted in causing others misery, the Queen who would no doubt want revenge for everything that had happened with Marian. There was no doubt in her mind that if she got given the chance, the Queen would try to kill Marian, no matter who stood in her way. Things might be better between her and Robin, but the curse could bring everything up to the surface. All the pain she had felt when he had chosen Marian, all the things she'd thought but never said aloud. With the Queen in charge…..it wouldn't just be words that where exchanged. "Regina…I'm not afraid of you" and he really wasn't, she could see it in his eyes. He knew who she was, who the Evil Queen was, he'd heard stories. Why wasn't he afraid of her? He may love her, but he'd never met the Evil Queen, the Queen she was in the missing year didn't come close to who she had really been. He was either confusing the missing year Queen with the Evil Queen…or he really had that much faith in her, that she'd be able to fight the Queen or…or…the Queen wouldn't hurt him or whatever. Unfortunately….she didn't have that faith in herself. In her old self. "But you really….really should be" her voice trembled as she spoke, backing away from him. She had to go now. The last thing she saw was the pained expression on his face.
"So…you don't want me writing…anything?" The Author's voice brought her out of her reverie. She had found her happiness, found her happy ending. Robin was a part of that, but thanks to this whole….Zelena situation…she found what her happiness truly was, what it meant. She just hadn't expected to make such discoveries in a dingy asylum cell. The memory of the potion she had taken did remind her that she would have to have a conversation with Robin, a painful one, but she knew he would understand. He wouldn't think less of her. They would work through it. She took a breath as she pulled her eyes from Robin's, "No", she felt the smile starting to form as she looked back at him, "I have everything I need". She felt Robin's arms wrap around her, holding her, as they shared a kiss.
I will always be the one that took your place.
Regina whipped her head around as Robin started to tell Hades that it was all his idea, to let Regina go and kill him instead. She couldn't live in a world without Robin, she couldn't let him do this. But before she could argue with him, draw Hades fire, Hades was already firing up the cursed thing. "Ladies first" he smirked. Blue light erupted. She heard Robin yell "No" and then he was suddenly in front of her. His tall body shielding her small one perfectly. The blue light was everywhere filling her vision, then it….stopped. Stopped because it had hit Robin. But he was fine…he was still standing…maybe it didn't work. He turned slowly to face her, but she could see from his face that it had worked. It had. He fell to his knees. She was frozen. Couldn't move, could barely breathe. Tears filled her eyes. This couldn't be happening, not again. Another man she loved with all her heart….dead….because of her. For loving her. Why did he always have to protect her, she could protect herself. Why did he always have to take her place? Why? Why did she always have to lose every single person she loved. His body fell to the floor, a shining blue spectre of Robin was all that remained as he reached up to touch her face. He smiled at her….and then he was gone. Gone forever. She would never see him again, never hear his voice, never be held by him. She broke.
When the rain falls, I won't let go, I'll be right here.
Crazy as what the kid had said was, she trusted him, and deep down she believed him. She may not remember being his mother, may only remember being a bandit but she couldn't let that man kill him. So instead of walking in to the Church, she had turned back around and saved the boy. Her….son. From her position lying on the ground she could hear the church bells start to peal out, could hear the doors opening and people spilling out. Then she heard his voice. Calling her name. The next thing she knew he was kneeling next to her. "It's okay, you're going to be alright" he said, smiling at her as he supported her head, cradling it with one hand.
"No. I'm not" she breathed.
"No" he agreed as he placed his hand on hers. She could feel the warmth of it, even through the glove he was wearing. "but at least I can promise you, you won't die alone" they smiled at each other, staring in to each others eyes, thinking of all the things that could have been, if only she'd walked in to that church. Robin moving his hand from hers to stroke her hair, her face. Perhaps….dying would be okay, if he was here with her.
When daybreak seems so far away, reach for my hand.
Monster. She had called her monster and as Marian had made her little comment, instinct had Regina curling her hand, ready to loose a fireball at her. But she pulled herself back seconds later. She was not that person anymore. And Robin…he just stood there. With his hand out, reaching for her. It was the last thing she saw before she turned and walked away. And he didn't stop her. Didn't come after her.
The curse on the town line meant that Robin couldn't come back. Ever. Rumple's goodbye had surprised her, his attempt at comforting her or….pep talking her or whatever had her momentarily staring through that windshield, contemplating all the ways she could just take what she wanted, shove Marian over that town line, stop Robin from going…she shook it off. She couldn't do that to him. She loved him too much, she had to let him go. It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do, letting him go, not screaming at him to stay. Keeping it together because one of them had to. One last kiss, she savoured every second and then…then he was leaving….she held his hand as he backed across the town line, everything slowed down, their arms stretching out between them until her hand bumped against the barrier and she had to let go.
It had hurt when Robin hadn't believed her, said it was all madness and given her that look. Shouted at her. Reminded her that he was with Marian. Not her. But not as much as it hurt, standing there holding her hand out to him and seeing the look crossing his face. She detected guilt, among other things and as he kept shaking his head, repeating that he couldn't leave with her…she knew something was very, very wrong. She had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach and she knew that whatever he said next…she wasn't going to like it. But still she stood there, hand stretched out to him, begging him with her eyes to take it. Take her hand and leave with her. Leave while things could still be fixed, leave before whatever he said next broke her. Broke them.
When hope and peace begin to fray, still I will stand. Right here now, to hold you when the sky falls down.
She should have known that out of everyone standing there on the street, the darkness would have picked her. The Evil Queen may be gone from the world, but she was still with Regina, a tiny kernel of darkness nestled within her. Within her heart. Like calls to like, she thought as she saw the darkness shoot towards her, heard Robin call her name as the darkness started to swirl around her, sucking out everything good. She could feel it draining out of her. She could see flashes of Robin through the swirling darkness, but she didn't have time to focus on him. She had to focus on fighting this, whatever it was, she couldn't let it win, she'd worked too hard to win. She felt the Evil Queen's thoughts start to swirl around inside her head, could feel her mouth tilting in to her signature smirk. She rolled her neck trying to shake it off. As soon as she got rid of those thoughts, every single bad thought she had ever had, every sad moment in her life came rushing at her all at once. Every negative thought, they all started to consume her. Through the swirling darkness she saw Robin as he ran to attack it. He would always try to protect her. Always try to save her. He would never leave her.
I will always be the one that took your place
Regina could feel the tears slipping down her face faster and faster, memories whirling around her. Every single time Robin had saved her at his own cost. She couldn't get the image of Robin, reaching out to touch her face one last time, out of her head. She kept seeing it. Flashes of blue light, Robin going rigid. Turning to her. That spark of hope that flared right before he turned around and she could see his face. She kept seeing Robin's body fall. His spectral self disintegrate. She thought she'd lost him in Camelot. Thought that had been it, but Emma had saved him and then she had saved him from the creature that came to collect its price. But she couldn't save him this time. She had just stood there, frozen as he jumped in front of her, and then it was too late. Her mothers words rang in her ears, "Love is weakness Regina" She could feel herself slipping, feel the darkness starting to creep up on her. But the song wasn't finished it yet and it had one last memory for her.
When the rain falls, I won't let go, when the rain falls, I won't let go, I'll be right here.
Regina was bursting with happiness. Here she was, wearing a stunning dress, with everyone looking to her for help, to save them. They all thought she was the Saviour and she…..she liked the feeling. She had never been expected to save people before, not in this way. She hadn't worn a dress like this, in this kind of colour since she was a teenager. Before the King and Daniel. She felt like her old self, she felt happy, light. People had clapped for her, cheered for her and Robin had stood there amidst them smiling at her, the look on his face suggesting she deserved every single bit of it. She had come such a long way, she'd done so much for others, and it felt like this…this was all in recognition of that. They thought she was the Saviour, she wasn't, but she would still try to save them. But for now..this applause, this happiness directed at her, this trust….she would appreciate every moment of it. But that wasn't the only reason for her happiness, no, a large part of that happiness was dancing with her right now. She never thought she'd ever thank Charming for anything, but if he hadn't taught her how to dance…she wouldn't be able to share this moment with him. They gazed in to each other's eyes as they danced, save for when the dance required eye contact to be broken, something they where loathe to do. Regina couldn't stop smiling, no matter how much her cheeks hurt. She was having the time of her life, she had never been one for balls, never enjoyed them much and certainly never gotten to do dance at one, and she was here with her soul mate, enjoying the experience for the first time. Robin spun her, and then pulled her to him tightly, leaning in to kiss her mid dance, not caring who saw. As they broke apart, they took a moment to tear their eyes from each other. When they did it became apparent they where behind on the dance, and they quickly grabbed each others hands and tried their best to catch back up, laughing as they did so. She couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life with this man, have more moments like this….this and more.