A/N: I've decided to do a rewrite ( sort of ) of the infamous My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie. I've also censored all the cussing to make it suitable for pretty much everyone. Enjoy!
Chapter 1
The Coming of the Sue
A woman in a crisp suit cast her gaze around the auditorium.
She sighed. This was the third attempt at hosting this class, but no one came, and Sues continued to decimate the forces of the Original Characters and Canon Nation alike.
The woman – Ariana Peverall, cleared her throat.
"Good evening, class," what class? She thought.
"Today we are going to discuss something that is absolutely vital to the war effort – how to turn a Mary Sue into an Original Character/Canon Character. A Mary Sue, for lack of a better word, is perfect. She is often a Dark creature known as a Self Insert, which are sometimes considered creatures fouler by far than even Dementors. Sometimes the Sue is a member of the Canon Nation, who has caught the deadly disease of Marisuitis, but, whatever the origin of the Sue in question, it is vital that we know how to stop Self Inserts and find a cure for Marisuitis. Only then can peace be restored to the Harry Potter Fandom."
She broke off, shuffling her papers and attempting to remember what she had been about to say.
"We shall begin by tackling the root of all Sues, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, also known as the Mother of the Sue Nation, or the Founder of the Sue Armies. In this class we shall learn how to rewrite Ebony and turn her into a proper Original Character. Only when you are able to do this seemingly impossible task can you consider yourself a fully trained soldier in the Sue War. I have divided each chapter into three parts. The Author's Notes, which are so terrible that the merit a section of their own, the Plot, and, finally, the chapter rewrite. We shall begin, of course, with chapter one's AN."
Ariana fiddled with the projector for a few minutes before getting chapter one up on screen.
Chapter 1.
AN: Special fangz (get it coz Im goffic) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
"Now we shall correct the grammar and spelling, and eliminate unnecessary information, giving us this."
Chapter 1
A/N: Special thanks to my friend, Raven, bloodytearz666, for helping me with the story. You rock! Justin, you're the love of my life, you rock too!
Ariana turned back to the class.
"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" she asked. "Moving on, we come to the plot of the first chapter. In the original the main plot points were: one, introducing Ebony, and two, establishing the second main character, Draco Malfoy. As you will see in this chapter, the author includes quite a bit of completely unnecessary information."
Several minutes of fiddling later, the first chapter was projected onto the screen.
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Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major******* hottie. I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell). And I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I but all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace all around it and a black leather mini skirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eyeshadow. I was walking outside of Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends calling me so I had to go away.
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AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!
"We shall do as before, perhaps explaining more about the circumstances, editing and eliminating unnecessary information, which gives us this:"
I walked down the steps, enjoying the feeling of the raindrops against my pale skin. It had begun raining earlier, gradually thickening until the sun could not be seen. I loved being outside, but, being a vampire, I rarely got the opportunity to venture outside during the day, unless it was very overcast, as it was today.
My name is Ebony Way, but don't you dare ask about my middle names. I would die of embarrassment if anyone ever found out about them. I have long black hair with purple highlights that reaches my mid-back, icy blue eyes, and, of course, very pale skin. It was Saturday, so I was wearing a black tank top, skinny jeans, and black rubber boots. Some people were staring at me, wondering why I was wearing no coat, as it was very cold, but being a vampire, that didn't bother me.
I was wondering how long my best friend, Willow, would let me put off my homework this weekend, when someone caught my attention.
"Hey Ebony!"
When I saw who it was, I nearly swore. Draco Malfoy, king of ferrets, had chosen this time to come bother me.
Despite being in the same house, Draco and I had never really talked, so I was very surprised.
"…Hey," I said, not feeling enthusiastic at all. I hadn't been able to go outside during the day for several weeks, and I didn't want King Ponce to ruin the precious few hours I had outside.
"Nothing…" he said.
I almost fell over. That was it, no snarky comment, no disparaging utterance of 'mudblood', no racist vampire slurs? Heaven knows I had gotten enough hostility from the other houses, and from some within my own.
Maybe ferret should go see Madam Pomfrey, as he obviously wasn't feeling himself.
A/N: Is it good? Please tell me, thanks!
"Thank you for your attention. Class dismissed."
Ariana fled, knocking over the stack of papers as she went, not sparing a glance at the still empty auditorium.
A/N: So not continuing until I get at least one review!