"Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as the wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire." ~Francois, Duc de la Rochefoucauld.
"Please don't go," she cried as she clung desperately to his shirt, "Please."
It hurt him to see her so distraught, but he couldn't do what she was asking of him. He knew what was happening to the families that tried to escape, and he refused to put her at risk like that. "Kagome," he said softly as he held her to him.
She pulled away enough to look into his eyes with watery blue orbs. "I don't care about the risk. " She whispered, well aware of the fact that people willing to turn them in for disloyalty surrounded them. "I don't care. I'd rather die with you than have to keep living if something happens to you." Her voice shook with emotion, making the ache in his chest intensify.
"How can you say something like that? Especially now?" He asked her sternly, bringing one of the arms that rested on her back around to rest softly on the swell of her stomach. "What about her?" He knew he was making headway when her gaze shifted from reckless determination to a stricken, horrified look. He was sure she was just panicking over his imminent departure and that she'd never put their daughter at risk. "It's not about us anymore, Kagome," he told her gently, "She needs to come first. I need to do this, I need to go, to keep both of you safe."
"What if you don't come back?" she whispered despondently, searching his gaze with so much despair in her eyes that he almost couldn't bear to meet them. "What if you die and we're left alone? What then?"
"I will come back," he assured her firmly. "I will come back for you, for both of you. Once my service is over, we'll be free. Free to go or to stay or to do whatever, without anyone trying to lock us up for treason. Don't you trust me?" He questioned, knowing it was a low blow to question her absolute faith in him, but knowing it was necessary to get her to let him go.
"Of course I do!" She cried. "It's not that I don't trust you. You know it's not that." She continued, unable to keep the tears from falling. He saw her resistance crumble as she fell into him once again, shaking from the force of her silent sobs. "I'm so sorry!" She said softly. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I know you have to go, I know that." She told him. "But I just don't know how I can be without you. I don't know if I'm strong enough to have her without you there."
"You are." He assured her. "Kagome," he said, moving back to take her tear-streaked face between his hands. "You are. You have to be. Our baby needs you to be strong, to be a fighter even if I'm not there. Just remember that I'll be back soon."
"And if you're not?"
He knew what she was really saying. She wasn't talking about the possibility of his tour being extended. "I will be back." He affirmed again. "Do you think I'd let some dirty scumbag kill me when I have you and her to come home to?"
"Don't brush me off like that and answer my question. If you die, how am I supposed to live?" She asked in a tormented whisper.
If she had asked him the same question, he wouldn't know how to answer her. The truth was that he wouldn't live without her. If she died, he was certain he'd die too. Whether by his own hand or because of the despair he'd surely succumb to was irrelevant. But he couldn't tell her that. He needed her to be strong. "If I die, then you need to keep going, you hear me? She needs a mother, a family, even if I'm not here. You'll live and raise her and watch her grow for many, many years before you die a happy old woman in your own bed. Promise me."
"Inuyasha…" she whimpered.
"Promise me!" He repeated. She nodded weakly before once again reaching for him. They didn't speak anymore; they just stood there. He tried to memorize the feel of her changing body against his, the way her hair felt, the perfect way her eyelashes feathered upon her cheeks when he eyes were closed. He held her as tightly as he dared, praying desperately to whatever Kami could hear him to allow him to come home to her. He wanted to meet his daughter. He wanted to live his whole life with Kagome, grow old with her. He was destined to be with her, not to die in a filthy trench.
"Soldiers!" Came the booming voice through the intercom. "Gather your equipment and board the train! Three minutes till departure!"
Three minutes. Their last three minutes together before they'd spend at least a year apart. The magnitude of their separation truly set in as the knot in his chest tightened. He felt tears prick his eyes but he blinked them away, determined to not say goodbye. This was only a "so long". "Write to me?" He asked her.
"Every day." She assured him. She reached up one hand and traced the features of his face gently: the curve of his lips, the straight, elegant line of his nose, his brows, his cheekbones, and finally his eyes. The perfect, honey-colored eyes that had enchanted her at first sight were now shining with so much emotion she could hardly breathe as she looked into them. "I love you." She breathed, letting her hand rest on his cheek. "I'll wait for you. I'll always wait."
His lips found her palm and planted a soft, heartfelt kiss on the soft flesh. He wanted to say more, but the whistle of the train behind him told him that his time had run out. There was no time for lofty words and promises, only for truth. "I love you, too," He assured her, "and I swear I'll come back to you." He vowed before leaning forward and capturing her lips in a soul searing, frantic kiss he hoped told her all that he could not.
He pulled away from her and grabbed his duffle bag before turning and boarding the train that would take him from her and his unborn baby. He tried to keep from looking back at her, hoping he could leave without dragging out the hurt for either of them, but when he felt the train vibrate below him and begin to crawl out of the station, he couldn't. His eyes met hers for the final time and he mouthed one more "I love you" through the bars of his window. She repeated the gesture before bringing the brining the back of her hand to her lips and squeezing her eyes closed in a futile effort to staunch her tears.
She couldn't. Her shoulders continued to shake and she continued to weep despondently when her eyes once again found his. The crushing weight of his departure bore down mercilessly upon both of them as they struggled to hold on to these last few moments.
She was in the midst of other wives, veteran wives, who knew what it was like to send off their husbands. He couldn't hear what they were saying to her, but he knew they were probably offering up words of support and encouragement, and he was grateful. His gaze held hers for another few moments before the train turned out of the station and there was nothing but countryside before his eyes.
I hope you've enjoyed this little piece. The idea has been in my head for a while now and I finally decided to write it out. I'm quite pleased with the outcome and I hope you are too. Right now, I intend for this to stay a oneshot, but perhaps in the future I may come back and revisit this universe with a proper, multi-chaptered work.
Feedback is always much appreciated, so let me know what you think.