A/N: Did anyone else wonder about Spike and Buffy's conversations on the night between Fool for Love and Shadow? Well. I did. And, you know, as usual, I'm sure my opinion is right, but I'd love to argue with you, so please. PLEASE. PLEASE flame this if flaming is in order. I HATE nonstop compliments. "Oh, that was the best thing I've ever read!" doesn't help me become a better writer, 'kay? And now we've got that straight… Oh, and as for the part where they talk about Passions? I've never seen the show. All I know I've learned from the IMDB page.

The Better Part of Last Night

"So when are you planning on telling me what's wrong?" Spike asked, signaling the waitress to bring Buffy another beer.

"Never," Buffy replied, taking the bottle from the waitress. "Or when I'm drunk. Whichever comes first." She took a swig. "Thank God for small miracles."

"Small miracles? As in… "

"Alcohol. Evil vampire mortal enemies that buy me drinks. Thanks for this, by the way."

Spike smiled. "Welcome, love."

They were in a small restaurant off the town's beaten path. The Bronze was too crowded; too noisy. Not to mention the fact that they'd already caused enough of a scene earlier that evening. No, this was much better - quiet, without many people to hear what they were saying.

"Okay, fine, but only since you're being so nice to me." Buffy put her drink down on the table and looked away for a moment. When she looked back at him, she said, "My mom - she's in the hospital right now. They want her there overnight. She's getting some kind of brain scan-y thing. And - what if they find something? I can't stand thinking about it, but what if something happens to her? I'd have to take care of Dawn and there's this new big bad in town. What am I supposed to do?"

"I'll tell you what you're supposed to do, love," Spike said fiercely, looking at her. "You're supposed to keep on a positive, chippy face around your kid sister and your mum. You need to do everything that would be normal if Joyce just had the flu. And then, if you still feel like you need to cry, you find someone to cry with. I won't have you locking yourself in your room, away from the world and the people that care about you."

Tears came to Buffy's eyes. "But who cares about me? You've just eliminated Dawn and my mom. Willow has Tara and Xander has Anya. They're too - too into their own stuff to deal with mine, too. And Riley… he's so… I don't really feel comfortable telling him stuff. Angel's too far away. Who does that leave? It's not like you give a crap about me. You're just being nice to me because you have nothing else to do."

"Slayer," he began, then started over. "Buffy, that isn't true and I think you know that."

"Well, yeah, I know my friends care about me, but - "

"That, and I do care about you."

"No, you don't. Why would you?"

"Right," Spike said sarcastically. "Because I'm burning all of my hard-earned cash from teaching you how not to die on buying you drinks because I want to soften you up so that Harmony can kill you." He paused and thought that through. "Wait, that does sound like me."

Buffy cracked a smile. "Mhm, because you would never do that."

"You've got that wrong, love. I could, but I wouldn't. Tried to kill you before, didn't I? Didn't work. Learned my lesson, didn't I? Now I'm buying you drinks. What does that tell you?"

"That you do give a crap about me," Buffy said slowly. "But you don't. I know you don't."

"Wrong again, love. For someone with super-enhanced senses, you're not perceptive at all."

"Am so!" Buffy argued. "I… well, there was that one time when… with the… uh… I guess I'm not perceptive."

Spike laughed. "You hungry? I heard this place has good cheese fries."

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. I'm kind of numb as far as bodily senses go right now. I probably am hungry, though."

Spike shook his head. "Once you decide what you want… Oh, yeah," he said, flagging down the waitress again. "Large cheese fries."

"With bacon and onion?" the waitress asked in a bored tone.

"No onion." Spike replied.

Once she went away, Buffy asked in a hurt voice, "Why no onion? I like onion."

"I know you do, pet. But breath, you know."

"Ah, I see what you're getting at. Harmony wouldn't like it if she knew you were out drinking with me instead of doing… whatever it is you do with her," Buffy said with a shudder. "Creepies. And, yes, I know she's living in your crypt."

"Right. Knew you did. She thinks you're after her and that you're - quote - mortal enemies; end quote." Spike rolled his eyes.

Buffy snorted. "Wow. Harmony is just… wow. I'd be willing to keep her around just because she's such a great source of serious funnies."

"Anyway, though," Spike said, "that wasn't what I meant by breath."

Buffy snorted again but didn't respond.

"Just out of curiosity, what do you watch on the telly?" Spike asked. "I know a lot about you, but not that for some reason."

"Oh. Well, you know, the usual stuff. X-Files, Twilight Zone, All My Children." She muttered the last one under her breath, hoping he wouldn't hear it.

"All My Children; really? I watch that sometimes. Not very good. But if you like it, you should watch Passions."

"God, no. Giles watched it with you when you were living in his house and he said - "

"Oh, Watcher Says; my favorite game. Tell me; what did he say so that I can pick it apart and mock it to pieces."

"He said that it was horrible and that their description of witchcraft was worse than the children dressing as witches for Halloween."

"Well, yeah, that's true, but it's a good show."

"I'm sure it is, Spike."

A/N: I imagine their banter goes on longer than that, well into the morning, and then Spike gets stuck there so Buffy mocks him before she leaves for the hospital. :-D I HOPE YOU LIKED IT!