The Ol' Switcheroo

Kyle Broflovski sat on the faux leather couch, furiously mashing the buttons on his Xbox controller. He felt the tears brimming in his eyelids, but he blinked them away, focusing instead on making his avatar pummel a certain raven-haired avatar into the dirt.

Kenny walked out of his bedroom and jumped over the back of the couch, landing right next to Kyle. He was wearing nothing but his ancient orange hoodie and a pair of purple lacey panties. Kyle ignored him. He'd obviously just emerged from several hours of passionate and exciting sex with his boyfriend, and the red head didn't want to think about it.

Out of the corner of his eye, Kyle saw Kenny pick up the spare controller from the coffee table.

"Player 2 has entered the game."

Kyle watched as Kenny's avatar magically appeared in the middle of his battle and proceeded to beat the virtual crap out of his character.

"Player 2 wins!"

"Jesus Christ Kenny!" Kyle yelled, throwing his controller to the ground. "What the fuck did you have to do that for?"

Kenny blinked. "Woah, sorry dude!" he said, cautiously. "I just thought you might not wanna play alone is all."

"Yeah, well, maybe I wanted to play by myself for once, huh? Did you ever think of that?" The tears were back again, and Kyle quickly hid his face in his elbow.

"Geez, dude, I'm sorry!" Kenny said, hugging the red head. "Don't cry, Kyle, I'm sorry!"

"I'm not crying cause of you, dumb ass!" Kyle mumbled into his sleeve.

"Ohhh, is it cause of that huge fight that you and Stan just had?" the blonde ventured.

Kyle sniffed. "You heard that, huh?"

"Hon, I think the entire dorm building heard you." Kenny patted him on the back comfortingly.

Kyle sat up. Not two minutes ago Stan had stormed out the front door after yelling himself hoarse, mumbling something about the grocery store.

"What were you two fighting about anyways?" Kenny asked, offering Kyle a tissue from the table.

"I don't even know," he said. "One minute we're sitting on the couch together, playing video games, and the next we're screaming at each other about dinner reservations or something. I don't know what's wrong with us. We used to be so… so perfect, you know? And now… We seem to be at each other's throats every other day. I'm… I'm afraid I'm losing him…"

He looked to the blonde sitting next to him. He was smiling. "What the hell are you smiling at?"

Kenny's smile got bigger. "I know what's wrong between you guys."

Kyle's eyes widened. "You do?"

"Yep. And I know how to fix it!" The boy beamed.

"Seriously, Kenny?" Kyle asked. "Or are you just shitting me, cause if you are that's a pretty—"

"I'm serious!" Kenny interrupted. "Lemme ask you something, Kyle, when you two have sex—,"

"Kenny!"

"Let me finish! When you two have sex, are you always on bottom?"

Kyle looked at the floor, embarrassed. "Who said that I was bottom?"

Kenny looked at him with raised eyebrows. "Come on hon, it's a little obvious. So anyways, answer my question."

Kyle sighed. "Yes, I'm always on the bottom."

"I knew it!" Kenny said, pleased with his intuition.

"So how does that have anything to do with our fights?"

"Because, you're sexually bored." Kenny explained. "You've gotten tired of the same thing over and over again, and your brains need a little jolt in the other direction!"

Kyle stared at him. "What are you trying to say, Kenny?"

"I mean, pull the ol' switcheroo!" Kenny whispered the phrase, as if he were afraid of the walls listening in on their conversation.

"The wha'?"

Kenny rolled his eyes. "You know, switch things around! Play top for once!"

Kyle's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No way dude! I – I mean, I can't… It wouldn't work with... I'm not… not that sort of… I can't do that!"

Kenny put his hand on Kyle's shoulder. "Sure you can! That's one of the beauties about being gay! Our parts are interchangeable!"

The red head kept shaking his head. "Dude, I don't even know if Stan would go for something like that… He's just… He's the dominant one in the relationship, ya know?"

"Well so is Eric!" Kenny said. "But I top him all the time!"

"I-I don't know, Kenny… What if he doesn't like to… you know… be…"

"Dominated?" Kenny finished for him. "Look, there's an easy test. Do you ever ride him?"

Kyle was amazed at how completely open Kenny was about sex. Although, now that he thought about it, Kenny had always been that way. He sighed again, hiding his embarrassment. "Yeah, sometimes. I mean, not every single time, but yeah."

Kenny nodded knowingly. "Well there you go! He likes being your bitch!"

"How do you figure?" Kyle asked, slightly taken aback.

"You riding him is a classic compromise. He likes being bottom sometimes, but he knows you don't like being Dom. So, he compromises, putting you on top, but still controlling the situation."

Somehow, that made perfect sense to Kyle. "But… I don't really know how to be… controlling…"

Kenny shrugged. "Just try it, and if it doesn't happen naturally, then maybe it's not the right choice. But if you ask me, your relationship is in serious need of a change-up."

Kyle stared at his feet. Dominate Stan? He didn't even know where to start. But he supposed it was worth a try. After all, if there was anyone in the world Kyle would want sex advice from, it'd be Kenny.

"KENNY! STOP TALKING TO THE JEW AND GET YOUR SKINNY ASS BACK IN HERE!" Eric Cartman's voice suddenly belted from the bedroom.

Kenny sighed and stood up off the couch. "Oh well, duty calls!" He said to Kyle before turning and walking toward the door. "Oh, and trust me, the ol' switcheroo can work wonders on a struggling relationship," he said over his shoulder as he was halfway in the room. "Just look what it did for me!" And with a smile and a wink, Kenny disappeared into his bedroom.

Kyle sat on the couch, alone again, contemplating the new advice he'd just been given. What was he going to do? If he sucked it up and tried to play top, he might freak Stan out and scare him away. But odds were if he did nothing at all, Stan would leave him anyway.

Luckily, he didn't have to decide, because at that exact moment, the front door opened and there stood Stan, head bent down and feet shuffling sheepishly. Kyle stood.

"I'm uh… I'm… sorry I yelled at you, Ky…" he mumbled. Kyle took a few steps toward him.

"It's ok… I know why we fought…" he said.

Stan looked up, surprised, and was about to say something like "You do?", but his actions were immediately cut off by Kyle forcing him up against the wall and slamming their lips together.

When they broke apart, Stan stared confusedly at him. Kyle grinned devilishly.

"Come to the bedroom," he said. "I want to try something…"

The End