Smile for the Camera
Disclaimer: Nope not mine, not a one. =(
Rating: T
Spoilers: None
Summary: Gibbs' memories, a few snapshots into his life, life at NCIS and everything in between. KIBBS, eventually.
Author's Note: I've been swamped with work lately so really haven't written anything, haven't had the energy to write. But then I found the start of this as I was cleaning out my laptop and completely got into it again. Not really case centric, more people centric but the odd case or two will be mentioned to help the plot along. This will be multichap, some will be longer than others and the timeline will have gaps but I hope you stick with me through it. Hope you enjoy it!
Unbeta'd so please forgive me for any errors.
P.S. I promise promise I will update No Ordinary Thing by the summer. I know that yonkers away, but we all need goals, right?
1.
Kate Todd never seemed as unattainable as she had then, sitting with Abby down in the lab and blushingly repeating details of the proposal. Every time her hand caught the light, I could see it, glimmering and shining. A sign that she belonged to someone else.
I stood still for a moment, speechless, my insides twisting and turning, coming to the realisation that I was too late. Too late to tell her that she meant more to me than just an agent, that her naïve, child-like perception of the world kept me sane and gave me hope. That I hadn't felt so much for a woman in years, longer than I can remember.
I never thought much of her relationship with the man she is now destined to marry. I passed him off as just another one of those men that wandered in and out of her life. They never stayed long, ours is a profession that requires more effort and more time, most of them couldn't handle coming second to her job. But not this one, apparently.
She stopped talking when she noticed me. The sparkle of her eyes dimming as her lashes lowered.
Abby filled in the silence, excitedly telling me of Kate's engagement and upcoming marriage. I tried to be polite, I tried to look sincere as I congratulated her. But the words stuck in my throat. I was lying and she knew it.
She was transferred to another team a few weeks ago, the director said that it was because Agent Greer's team needed more experienced team members. Even though I am glad that the constant reminder of her unavailability is gone, I can't help but miss the interaction we had, but I guess that was gone long before she left. I still miss the way I towered over her. The way she didn't back away and the way her eyes glimmered with a silent challenge. I miss that Katie Todd.
So I hide myself away, more so than I had done in the past. I pretend that it doesn't bother me, that it doesn't matter that she's marrying someone else. Here, I can do that. My boat is a refuge for me, but there are a lot of people who don't understand why I can't just go out and buy the damn thing. Well, for one, I can't afford to buy a boat. The disadvantage of having three ex-wives is that after paying off the alimonies, there really isn't much left over.
So I build my boat. It takes my mind off things I'd rather not think about, it's my therapy, my little slice of the world that nothing can penetrate. That's where I am today, on the eve of her wedding. A glass of bourbon is by my side and the sander in my hands. But tonight, it isn't working. I guess my head is too full of her. Knowing that tomorrow, she'll be walking down the aisle to marry someone else is a thought that tears at my flesh and claws at my bones. I can't stop imagining it. Kate in a beautiful white dress. Her hair is up, her lips are painted. She is smiling as she walks away.
Her image fades and the rest of the night and the following day passes in a haze.