Title: Baby, Can You See Through The Tears?
Summary: On the sixth anniversary of Tara's departure Jax comes across Tara working in a strip club to pay her way through medical school. Chaos ensues.
Couples: Tara/Jax
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. Everything is Kurt Sutter's. and the lyrics and title are Lana Del Ray
Author's Note: Here is my second Tara/Jax fic! I hope you guys like it! Please review and let me know what you think! It's pretty straightforward. Jax finds Tara in a strip club and of course chaos ensues. The fic is kinda dark, but there's a happy ending at the end. Not sure how long the story will be it depends on you guys!
Warning: Swearing
Enjoy!
You went out every night
And baby that's alright
I told you that no matter what you did I'd be by your side
Cause Imma ride or die
Whether you fail or fly
Well shit at least you tried.
But when you walked out that door, a piece of me died
I told you I wanted more, but that's not what I had in mind
I just want it like before
We were dancing all night
Then they took you away, stole you out of my life
You just need to remember...
I will love you 'til the end of time
I would wait a million years
Promise you'll remember that you're mine
Baby can you see through the tears
Love you more
Than those bitches before
Say you'll remember, oh baby, say you'll remember, oh baby ooh
I will love you 'til the end of time
Blue Jeans By Lana Del Ray
Chapter 1 Dancing All Night
Tara Knowles's felt as if her head was full of pressure and her stomach was filled with anxiety. She didn't know what was wrong with her, but her heart was hammering a mile of minute, like she was waiting for something to happen. She knew she was being silly. Everything was fine. It was just a normal Tuesday night.
She didn't know why she felt so nervous all of a sudden or why tonight seemed to be different than any other night.
Nothing was supposed to happen, she came in to work at six at the Gold Club, but that was it. It was already ten o'clock and she'd been on stage for two dances already and nothing out of the ordinary had happened.
Her summer was slipping by and the knowledge of the encroaching start of the school year loomed in the air. She was due to begin her second year at Stanford Medical School in a week.
She let her mind play back the last few weeks and besides a weird run in with some guy at the club nothing interesting had happened.
So why was she more nervous tonight than she had ever been dancing at the Gold Club? She was more nervous than her first night at work.
She rolled her shoulders and tried to get her head in the game before she went on stage. She didn't want to take her issues with her on stage. When she was dancing she had to block out the rest of the world. If she didn't the reality of her situation would come crashing down on her and she'd just be Little Tara Knowles from Charming, California. She seriously didn't need that.
Tara was quiet, pretty, an introvert, not what a stripper needed to be.
When she was on stage she couldn't be Tara she needed to be O, her alter ego.
O was everything Tara wasn't. She was flirty, fun, and hot, everything a stripper needed to be.
She had chosen the name on a whim. It was short for Ophelia. The General Manager, Pauley had asked what she wanted her stage name to be and the first thing that had popped into her head was Ophelia. She wasn't sure why, maybe it was because she had just read Hamlet recently or maybe because she liked the name despite the head-case of the female character in Shakespeare's tragedy.
Regardless, O, was her alter ego that allowed her to get on stage topless and dance. It also allowed her to flirt with patrons and provide dances for them so that she could walk out with enough money to pay for her medical degree.
She had come across dancing while searching for a job in the Classified section after her roommate ran away after stealing Tara's shit to pay for her Heroin addiction. She had stuck her with the insane rent, so Tara being the survivor she was sought out a way to pay for an apartment in Palo Alto near Stanford. Thus leading her to the Gold Club in San Francisco. She didn't think anyone would ever know her there, or find her. She had made sure that it was a good ways away from anyone she knew or who would recognize her.
It didn't matter though if they did, since no one would ever believe that Little Sweet Tara Knowles would ever take her clothes off for money. Then again, no one would ever believe she would date someone in SAMCRO.
People as she was beginning to learn at twenty-four were full of the worst surprises.
"O, you're up." Jade a pretty Asian girl said coming into the dressing room. She was wrapping her body in a black silk robe as she began to get ready for her next set.
Tara nodded and looked at her reflection in the vanity mirror before she got off the stool.
Her eyes were smoky, the lipstick was too bright against her pale skin, but she had recently run out of her favorite color and had to make do until she could buy some more. Her hair was tucked in a black bob wig she liked to wear to keep her identity hidden. She looked down her body at the black thong and the black sequined bikini top, making sure everything that needed to be in place was.
Some girls went with themes and others had rolls they liked to play, but Tara liked to mix it up. Some days she was a naughty nurse, other days she kept it simple with a black bikini. Other days she wore corsets and boy shorts.
Today was a bikini day.
She'd splurged on a new pair of black and silver seven-inch heels and she knew they would look awesome with the black top and thong. She had decided last minute to put on a pair of fishnets, since Pauley had decided to crank the AC and it wasn't as if she could put a sweater on.
She took a deep breath looked herself over one more time and then strutted over to the stage.
She closed her eyes, rolled her shoulders again and waited for the opening beats of the song she had chosen for this set. The opening beats of the hip hop song came through the speakers and she glided on stage making sure to swing her hips as much as possible. She began to zone out and listen only to the music as she began to move her body to the beats.
She got to the pole in the middle of the stage and began to swing around and around forgetting the people watching her intently on the floor of the strip club.
She swung up and slid down the poll, hanging upside down and using her upper body strength she'd developed from a year of stripping. She slid down the poll and heard a few people cry out and cheer her on. Turning around she began to shake her ass to the beat. She bent over and flipped her hair around as she continued to get lost in the music. Swinging around the pole again she made sure to open her legs wide enough to show her flexibility. When she slid down the pole again she did a little flip and slid into the splits as the crowd cheered her on.
When she came out of the splits she turned around and began her ass shaking once again as she untied the strings of her bikini. Turning around as the second half of the song played she concentrated on dancing around stage and against the poll trying to make eye contact with guys sitting at the bar.
She didn't concentrate on one person specifically, she tried to keep a smile on her face and look at everyone.
When she had started stripping she was too shy to look at anyone, but the older woman told her she needed to smile and make eye contact to bring in the big dollars.
The ending notes of the song played and some guys began to throw money on the stage for her to collect when she heard a loud noise. She looked up just in time to see a blonde man attack the most recent person who had put money on stage. Wanting to avoid bodily harm she stepped back surprised after grabbing the last of the bills.
Security was called almost immediately and as Crispin the bodyguard –
who was usually a teddy bear – grabbed the blonde man to control him she saw with an instant sinking feeling his face. Angry blue eyes met hers and a wild murderous look she'd seen on a few occasions seemed to alter his face, but there was no mistaking it.
Jackson Teller was at the Gold Club. Jackson Teller was here. Jackson Teller was at the Gold Club. Jackson Teller was here. And judging by his reaction he had most definitely seen her performance.
"Holy Shit." She exclaimed.
It had been six years and now she was staring down at her ex-boyfriend struggling with the bodyguard and an innocent bystander who had given her money. Six years gone and now she was staring at him half naked.
She watched as Jax began to struggle in Crispin's arms and then suddenly Opie, Clay, Bobby, and Tig seemed to pounce on Jax, the guy he had been fighting with, and Crispin.
As if snapping back to life she turned as quickly as possible and stumbled off the stage needing a moment to understand what the fuck had just happened. But all her mind could think about was that Jackson Teller was here at the Gold Club. Jackson Teller was here. What the serious fuck. She really needed a minute. Or thirty to come to terms with that.
What the fuck had just happened?
Jackson Teller was having a bad day. There was no doubt about it. Although in all honesty he knew that it was about to be not a very good day when he woke up. Today was the sixth anniversary of Her leaving him for San Diego. And of course like the last few years on this painful day he was determined to get shit faced and burry himself in a few blondes. Unfortunately that was not the plan for today.
Instead he was required to make a run with Clay and the other guys. He had wanted to get out of it, but there was no way he could get out of going to San Francisco with Clay and the others. So he strapped up, got on his bike in the afternoon and they made their way to San Francisco to meet with one of their clients.
They had finished with business and of course the client had asked if they wanted to go let loose. He told them of a club he owned called the Gold Club and asked whether they were interested in coming by and having a few drinks.
"Do you even have to ask, Johnny?" Clay asked laughing and clapping the man on his back.
Johnny chortled and downed the rest of his whiskey before standing up. "You guys will love this place. I own it of course so you know it's the shit. Only the best girls they are tight as fuck. The booze is overflowing and everything is free for you guys." He said winking at them.
Opie smirked at Jax who offered up a smug expression of his own.
"Come on man, this is just the thing you need." Opie said quietly nudging Jax.
He nodded thoughtfully, "yeah I know."
"You were only going to do the same thing in Charming anyway." Opie added.
Jax tugged out a cigarette from his pack and light it up as Johnny and Clay continued talking.
"Yeah, I know. I'm just…today always…I hate today." Jax grumbled dragging on his cigarette.
"Well today's almost done. So we'll go to the club, find some chicks, drink some booze, and I'll probably carry you out of there around dawn tomorrow." Opie joked.
Jax gave him a smug smile and tried to ignore the constant pain in his heart that had been there, since She had left him.
"Yeah, man. Sounds like exactly what I need." Jax said quietly.
"Good. Then let's roll out." Opie said as Clay and Johnny finished their conversation.
Jax opened his mouth to respond when Clay came over to them and clapped a hand on both of their shoulders.
"We're going to this Gold Club. Figure we could blow off some steam." Clay said giving Jax a lingering look.
He nodded and took another drag on his cigarette. "Sounds good."
Clay smiled at him and moved on to Bobby and Tig who had been talking quietly in the corner.
Jax finished up his cigarette and then walked out with the rest of the SONS to head to this Gold Club their client had been going on about.
They parked out front with the rest of the vehicles and they made their way into the club with Johnny leading. Jax took in the bar taking stock of the busy strip club and the scantily clad girls. He immediately headed to the bar as Johnny continued taking the others over to a VIP area.
He scanned the bar intrigued with the variety of girls that were walking around. A long limbed and busty blonde caught his eyes and he smirked to himself already seeking out his entertainment for the night.
"Some selection." Opie commented standing beside him.
"Johnny said it was the best." Jax said chuckling when the bartender finally came over.
He ordered a shot and a beer then waited for Opie to order what he wanted. When they had gotten their drinks they headed toward the VIP area where the other SONS were seated.
"Nice selection." Tig said over the music as they settled into their seats and looked at the stage.
"More than nice." Jax muttered his eyes trained on the busty blonde giving a lap dance to a guy in an expensive looking suit.
He was snapped out of his staring when Johnny came back over to them some waitresses standing behind him with a tray of drinks.
"For your entertainment." Johnny announced waving the waitresses toward them.
"You'll love the lineup. The next girl is a big hit. Has an ass like a fucking peach. And the prettiest green eyes too, moves her body like a fucking serpent. She's one of our hotter girls. I don't know what it is about her, but she's like a fucking mystery waiting to be unwrapped." Johnny mused as the DJ announced the next dancer up was named O.
"What the fuck type of name is O?" Tig yelled over the opening beats of the hip-hop song.
"It's from Hamlet." Jax blurted out coolly.
"How the fuck do you know that? You never even graduated high school." Tig asked frowning at him.
Jax shrugged and chose not to answer instead concentrating on the waitress who was setting a drink down in front of him.
"Hey darling, what's your name?" Jax greeted giving her his charming smile.
She giggled, "Charity."
"Charity?" he asked raising an eyebrow and looking over at Opie who was concentrating on the stage an odd look on his face. He tried to nudge his friend, but Opie was staring at the stage as if hypnotized. He turned toward the stage, but was unable to see anything except a black bob of hair, since Charity was in his way.
"What kind of name is Charity?" he asked turning away from Opie when he couldn't get his attention.
"I picked it myself." She said in a ditzy tone.
"Well Charity do you do dances?" Jax purred leaning closer.
Charity frowned and blinked at his question. "Well, like I'm a waitress. Not, like a dancer."
He frowned momentarily wondering whether she was really this dumb or just pretending to be.
"Listen, babe—" Jax began, but was interrupted by Clay's voice.
"Holy Shit!" Clay exclaimed his own eyes trained on the stage.
Jax frowned looking at all the other guys around the VIP section to find they were staring at the stage transfixed. His frown deepened wondering what the hell the girl on stage could do that was so fucking amazing. He'd seen plenty of strippers before and not one had made him look as mesmerized as any of the guys looked. He wondered if maybe she could do some weird thing with her vagina, like those girls in Asia and then he shook his head remembering that this was only a topless bar. He turned toward the stage trying to see around Charity who he just realized was still talking.
"Go get me a drink." He demanded waving her away and she teetered away on her heels to allow him to see the stage.
He stared at the stage and watched as the girl twirled around the poll too quickly to get a glimpse of her face. What he did see was a tramp stamp, but she was moving too quickly for him to make it out.
"What's so great about her?" he asked finishing off his beer in two gulps before setting it down loudly on the table.
The guys turned to him with varying looks of…some emotion he couldn't quite place. Clay looked alarmed, Tig looked as if he were trying not to laugh, Bobby looked uncomfortable, and Opie was looking at him as if he was about to break some terrible secret to him.
"Jax…does she look familiar?" Clay hedged out.
Jax turned back to the stage just as the girl came off the poll and slide into the splits. He blinked concentrating on her face, but he could only make out the profile since some of her hair was blocking her face. All he could make out was her nose and even though the small part of her looked vaguely familiar he couldn't place her.
"I can't see her face." He stated looking back at Clay with a furrowed brow.
"Jax…" Opie began his face filled with pain for whatever he was about to say.
"What?" Jax snapped sharply tired of all of the weirdness that seemed to surround them. What was there problem? Why was everyone looking so fucking oddly at him? Why did Opie look like he was about to tell him that he killed his mother? He light up a cigarette tired of all the uncomfortable tension.
He looked back at the stage just in time to see Her turn around and begin to shake Her ass. He felt the cigarette fall from his lips as his eyes zeroed in on the tattoo on Her lower back. He could clearly make out Her tramp stamp now, and it was one he remembered very vividly. He may even remember Her getting it more than he remembered getting his own reaper. He had been there when She'd gotten it from Happy after all.
The crow with his name ribboned below it was staring him right in the face and as he let his eyes move lower he took in the ass he knew just as well. God, he loved that ass. He used to dream about that ass. In all honesty he still did. He missed running his hands over it, smacking it while she gave him head or made love to him.
He watched in shocked horror as She began to undo the ties of Her bikini and let it fall as She turned back around. He gulped as She faced front and allowed a room full of half drunk men see Her topless. He felt white-hot sharp anger curl around his gut and flow through his veins. His vision blurred around the edges and he felt jealousy like he'd never felt before.
He had never been much of a jealous man, except when it came to Her. Every time She even talked to another guy he was filled with jealousy and possessiveness, but now as he took in the sight of Her baring those glorious breasts that used to be for his eyes only to a room full of people he felt his blood boil. His vision darkened momentarily and he could hear his heart pounding in his ears. Everything seemed to be moving too slow and the noise around him seemed to dull to a white noise.
He watched as She made eye contact with someone giving them a seductive smile. And the heat seemed to increase ten fold if possible. He could literally hear his blood boiling in his ears.
She wasn't allowed to give anyone a seductive smile that wasn't him. She was his. Only ever his. She had the tattoo to prove it.
Suddenly he heard his name and someone was shaking his arm trying to get his attention.
"Jax! Jax! Jackson! You're pants! You dropped your cigarette, man." Opie said trying to bring him back to reality.
Jax looked down and saw that the cigarette he had dropped had burned a hole through his jeans.
"Trying to burn your dick off, man?" Opie said.
Jax looked up at him slowly only taking in every other word his friend was saying. It sounded like Opie was talking underwater. Nothing sounded right. There was a loud thudding in his ears and he felt like he couldn't breath.
"Jax? Jax? Are you okay, man?" Opie asked putting a hand on his shoulder.
Jax felt himself nod and then he turned back to Her on the stage. She seemed to be finishing up Her set as the end of the song began to play out. Suddenly as in slow motion he got off the chair he had been occupying and made his way to the stage.
He heard someone call his name, but he ignored it, instead beginning to push people and things out of the way needing to get to the stage.
He felt as if his feet were too clumsy for his body and as he drew closer to the stagehe saw Her give a few little shakes of Her ass as some men near the stage hollered at Her and through money onto the stage.
That seemed to be his breaking point.
He watched as the last guy through money onto the stage and lick his lips hungrily. Something in Jax seemed to snap and his vision blurred with red. He felt a rage blackout coming on, but he ignored that needing to make the man closest to him pay for looking at his girl. His last coherent thought before he attacked the guy was, so this is what a rage blackout feels like.
(A/n: What do you think? Please review!)