Title: More Than What You Think You Are
A/N: I was trying some new writing styles, and some new ideas with this one. Not sure where this one came from. I have ideas for more, so if you like it, let me know, and I will make more, if not, then I wont ^_^
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When I was twenty-two I met the love of my life. He was a kind, sweet and gentle lover and a lover was all I was to him. I was his mistress, his secret love and despite all his words of love he said to me, he never made any promises to leave his wife. I was always fine with it when we started the relationship, But as time when on, I wanted something more. I knew that he would never leave his wife but after a night of passion and the words of love where spoken, he would leave to go back to his loveless marriage and I was left feeling like nothing more than a common whore. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
I met him in a tavern. Of course I did, that was always the sort of setting for these kinds of sordid affairs. I was there to drink, to celebrate, and to forget. I had just kicked my current boyfriend to the curb. A tough son of a bitch who thought it was ok to use me as his punching bag. He was a mistake; too bad it took me several frightened nights and several black eyes to figure that one out. I had a thing for the bad boys, but he was a little too bad for my taste.
I was currently nursing my drink as well as my fresh black eye. I wasn't looking for anything that night except for oblivion that could only be found in a drunken stupor. I ordered another drink and when I tried to pay for it, the bartender just waved me off, saying that the man across the way had taken care of me. I had noticed the man there earlier, he looked just as miserable as me, and I had a feeling that he was looking to maybe to change his luck. Normally I would just have taken the drink, and ignored that bastard but I wasn't in the mood for the cold shoulder treatment tonight. I looked down at the drink before I reached for my coat and started to walk to the door but of course I had to walk right pass him to leave. As I did, I heard him speak, soft and low but still loud enough for my ears to hear.
"I didn't mean to upset you. You looked like you where having a rough night. I didn't mean anything by it," he said, staring at the glass in front of him, never once looking at me. I held back rolling my eyes.
"I highly doubt that," I said. He turned to me then, giving me a sad look. When I saw his eyes, they took my breath away. I have never seen anyone with eyes that color. Gray. They where strikingly beautiful and I felt like that could peer into my soul.
"I really didn't, but if you want to leave, I understand but don't do it on my account. I promise to ignore you properly if you choose to stay," he said with a smile. This caused me to let out a small laugh, before I let myself roll my eyes this time. It was only a drink and I could always leave if he tried something again.
"Thank you," I said softly before I walked back to my drink on the other side of the bar. He kept his promise and ignored me, which kind of depressed me. There was just something about his eyes, and that smile. I looked up at him, flashing him a smile and he returned it. I felt my heart flutter, the blush and suddenly my drink was the most important thing for me to focus on. Not sure why I was acting like a schoolgirl, but it most likely had to do with the six drinks I had in me.
I decided to look up one more time and my blood ran cold. He was here. He must have wanted to track me down. Well that's what happens when you change the locks and shove all his shit to the curb. I hoped he would just take the hint, but I guess the bastard was persistent.
I grabbed my jacket and hope that I could sneak away before he noticed me but he spotted me quickly in the small, nearly empty tavern. I cursed under my breath and then I saw the concern coming from those grays. If I weren't in such a hurry to get the fuck away I would have been touched by that look. He was on me before I knew it.
"What's going on, all my stuff was in the yard and I couldn't get in. Did you change the locks?" he said slight anger in his words. I really didn't want to hear this.
"I figured it would be obvious, even for you." I snapped at him and I moved to leave. I felt his hand on my arm, in a bruising force. I looked back and I could see the rage within his eyes, but I was pissed at him myself. I yank my arm from his grip before I turn around, slapping him across his face.
"Don't you ever touch me again. I want your stuff off my property by tomorrow and if I ever see you again, I'm calling the police," I said loudly before I left in a rage. If I had been thinking a little more clearly, I would have thought twice about that move, for in the tavern there was a bit more of protection from him. But you can't change the past, can you.
I wasn't even a few blocks away from the tavern when I felt the hands on my arms, pulling me from the street into an alleyway. He shoved me hard against a wall, and I felt the breath getting knocked from me. When I tried to take a breath, I felt I couldn't, as he wrapped his hand around my throat.
"How dare you speak to me like that, bitch!" I heard him say as the hand hit my cheek hard. I'm sure he said more but he shoved me back against the wall, which cause my head to hit it hard. The world spun and I couldn't focus. I was sure it was the end. Then I collapsed to the ground and found that I could breathe again. After a moment, my eyes began to focus and I saw him, on the ground, beaten up properly. I turned and saw them. Those gray eyes, looking down at me, concerned as I coughed.
"Ma'am? Are you ok?" the gray-eyed beauty said and I tried to speak, but my throat still hurt, so I just nodded. He helped me to my feet and the world spun again. He held me, making sure I didn't fall again. "Do you need me to help you home?" he asked me. I shook my head at that, not trusting my voice still and I took one step away from him, and nearly hit the ground again. He caught me, and I was in his arms again. They were nice.
"Here, let me help you home," He said, throwing my arm over his shoulder, which was the only thing keeping me upright at the moment, but I wasn't going to admit that. I told him the directions to my place, for it was not too far from the tavern. I told him it was the one with all the shit out in front, and sure enough, it was. He laughed; mumbling something about hell hath no fury. I would have slapped him it if had the strength, or was not enjoying being that close to him.
He walked me to the door and when I fumbled with my keys, he took them from me, opening my door. He helped me in.
"Let's get you to bed," he said. My cheeks blush a little at that.
"How about the couch," I said softly. He nodded before helping me sit on the couch. I lean back and as soon as my head hits the back of it, I wince. He's behind me in a second, looking at the back of my head.
"He gave you quite a bump on that head of yours," he said, flashing me a smile.
"It's fine. It takes more than that to crack my hard head," I said, feeling like a dork as soon as it left my lips. He just chuckled lightly as he left the room, for the kitchen. I was confused for a moment until I heard him getting the ice from the freezer. He came back with two dishtowels full of Ice. He handed one to me and I placed it on the bump on my head. He took the other one, placing it on my cheek. I winced at that, not noticed how much it hurt until then.
"I'm sorry. Just trying to keep it from swelling more than it already has," he said softly as he held the ice to my cheek. His other hand traced lightly under my eye, the blacked one.
"Did he give you that as well?" he asked. I sighed lightly at that.
"Yes, that was why I kicked him out. I was tired of dealing with his shit, should have known that he was going to find me," I frowned at that.
"Why would anyone ever want to hurt a woman as pretty as you, I can never understand that," he said. I could tell the blush was back on my face at that.
"I'm nothing special," I said. I truly believed that at the time. But it was hard not to when your last boyfriend was an abusive asshole. He laughed at that again. A sweet laugh, that made me nearly smile.
"You really don't see it do you? Well I'm not going to sit here and argue you with you, for we are both hardheaded and it will not do any good." He said with a wink. My heart jumped at that.
"Well I think it's time I ask you a question," I said softly and he just nodded his head. "What is the name of my rescuer?" He let out another laugh. Gods I love that laugh.
"Yes, I did forget to tell you that in all the excitement, didn't I. My name is Adrian, Adrian Zero. You?" Adrian asked.
"Oh me, I'm Sarafina Mitchell, but most people just call me Sara."
"Sarafina, that's a unique name. Does it have any special meaning?" I blushed at that, not wanting to answer him. I did anyway.
"It means angel," I said softly. He smiled wider at that.
"How appropriate," he said with a smile, and I knew I blushed more. My eyes looked at those lips, they were so inviting. I lean in slowly and when our lips brush, it was like a shock was sent throughout my entire body, and I can tell he felt it too. It wouldn't have been the first time I had a one-night stand, but it would be the last. He broke the kiss soon after that.
"I don't want to be some guy that took advantage of you." He said softly. His concern was touching, to bad I didn't wanted concern, I wanted to fuck.
"You're already my knight in shining armor, and I want you, so I will not think any less of you if you take me to my bed and fuck me senseless," I said. His eyes danced with desire at my words. Oh yeah, he wanted me too. He flashed me a smile, and he nodded, before pulling me into his arms, bridal style, and carried me to my bedroom, before gently laying me on the bed. More gently then I ever deserved or wanted. I knew what I was doing. I couldn't mistake the ring on his finger, but I didn't care. I wanted him, like the whore I was.
He kissed me gently and I whimpered when he prevented me from deepening the kiss. He slowly removed my clothes; kissing every inch of flesh, till I was begging for him. He removed his shirt, and I gasped. He was perfect. Lightly sculpted, and I rubbed my hand over his chest. He smiled at me at that as he moved over my body again. Playing me like an instrument till I sung my notes of ecstasy. He spent the time to learn my body, and had me gasping and panting long before he removed his pants. I thought he was finally going to give me what I wanted when he smiled, moving lower.
It had been a while since any man had done that to me, and he looked like he was enjoying himself as I screamed out in ecstasy, coming for the first time that night. He moved back up me, and kissed me. I could taste myself on him and it just excited me more. When I felt him brush my entrance, I was pleading for it. I had never been treated this kindly. It was new, and when he slowly pushed himself into me, I was damn near in tears. I never deserved such kindness, but that was all he was offering me.
He slowly worked me back up, pushing into me with such kindness. He kissed away the tears that I didn't even know I had shed and it just caused me to spill more as I came again. He was far from done with me. He brought me up, more times than I could remember, pushing me over and over, tell I was hot, sweaty and spent before he allowed himself his own release. I was lost at that, and just cried as he held me in his arms. I felt childish, and at the same time special. I never wanted to let him go after that.
After the tears stopped flowing, we talked; me about my ex and him about his wife. He told he about how found out that she was having an affair. I should have known better after the night he just gave me, but I figured I was some revenge sex. Make the poor girl feel good before returning to his wife.
I was wrong. He showed up after that. Several times, and I let him in each time. I didn't care and each time he was gentle and sweet. But each time he left for home. I was scared to ask him to stay, because I was scared he would never come back. I was pathetic I knew, but I didn't want to risk losing him.
We always ended our session with talk about our lives. I found out he was a Tin Man, which didn't surprise me at all. I found out about his love for fishing, and his strained relationship with his partner, Wyatt Cain. It was more than just the sex with him. I became someone for him to confide in, to tell all his deepest, darkest secrets to. And I would listen, wanting to know everything about this man.
I know I had fallen for him, and fallen hard, but who wouldn't. He was just, perfect. After about six months of this, I was getting fed up. I wanted more, so much more. But when he showed up, I let him back into my bed. After the sex, and then after the conversation ran dry, he tried to leave. I held on tight, not wanting to let go. I cried, and he held me. I told him I wanted him to stay, forever. I couldn't share him anymore. I didn't want to be his whore anymore. He just listened to me, holding me close. Once the words stopped, I was scared. I was sure he was going to leave and never return.
But he didn't. He held me. Held me close and I fell asleep, listening to his heartbeat. I awake right before dawn, when I felt the kiss on my cheek before he left. I smiled brightly as he walked from my room. He stayed. But would he return? That was what I was scared of.
I broke down, I called into work sick, and I just lay in bed and cried. I should have never let him into my bed, for now he was in my heart. And I was about to lose him, I was sure. I had never been so wrapped up with a man before. I had always been so independent, when did that change? Every fiber in my body wanted that man and his touch, and I just held his pillow closer to me as I breathed in his scent.
I stayed in bed for what seemed like forever. I finally pulled myself from the bed, to find it was only noon. I pulled on a robe, not carry that a still smelled like sweat and sex, for his scent still lingered and I would not wash it until I absolutely had to. I fixed myself some food, not because I was hungry, but because I knew I had to eat. I choked it down, without even tasting it.
After that I just sat on the couch, lost in thought. I knew I had to get my life in order. I couldn't waste my life pining away for this guy. I was stronger than this, I knew. But still, I wanted him. I wanted him here, forever. I curled myself in a ball on the couch and cried myself to sleep.
The knock on the door woke me. I was up in a flash. I went to the door, and looked though the peephole and he was behind it. My breath caught and I debated on letting him in. I wasn't sure I could take another night of this. I did and he was looking at me, nervously. I watched him twirl is wedding ring, a habit he did when he was anxious and then I saw the explanation at his feet. There was a duffle bag. My eyes went wide.
"I thought over what you said and I did it. I told her I knew about everything. And… and I left her," he said softly. He was scared, and I was not sure why. He was always so confident before. I just stared at him blankly, not sure what to make of this new information. He kept getting nervous and that was what he was worried about, rejection from me. I could see it in his eyes. I moved from the door, allowing him to bring his stuff into my home.
"How did she take it?" I heard slip from my lips, not even sure why I asked. I really didn't care how she took it.
"Surprisingly well, she only throw me out," he said with a laugh and a sad smile. I wanted to make it better. I never wanted to see that sad smile again. And then the thought entered my mind. He was mine. No more sharing, no more leaving, I was no longer his mistress, but his girlfriend. Someone to be proud, despite the fact I wrecked his marriage. But that was damaged before I even came along. I had this overwhelming joy fill me and then I pounced. And he caught me, pulling me him to his arms as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I kissed him, long and hard and he laughed.
"Now that was what I was expecting. You scared me there for a moment." He said before pulling me back into another kiss. It was so passionate and desperate at the same time. This was new from him, but I didn't mind one bit. He carried me back to my bedroom, laying me upon it. He smiled down at me.
"I love you Sarafina, I think I have since the moment I met you. I was just always scared to tell you." He said, looking so vulnerable at that moment as his eyes filled with tears. My heart soared at the confession.
"You, scared, I never would have imagined that possible," I said softly to him. He laughed again.
"I was terrified, scared that if I said anything that I would lose you. But last night made me realize that by doing nothing, I was losing you, and I couldn't let that happen." I smiled widely at him, tears within my own eyes.
"We are both stupid. I was scared myself. I just, I just couldn't stand it anymore and…," was all I could say, before the tears flowed freely, this time in happiness. He held me, speaking words of love, comfort, and I knew I was his. We fell asleep together, not even having sex, for we knew, there was no rush. He held me, and I loved it more than anything he ever done before. He was mine and I slept more soundly then I think I ever had that night.