Once in the long-lost blue moon, a little filly, lovingly named Twittle, was running through the woods, in a desperate attempt to find her home. Not being very talented in the art of magic, she had no idea how to teleport herself back to her home. She was just an average musician for the Canterlot Orchestra, specifically the first chair Euphonium. Being a musician requires only that you know advanced levitation, of which does not involve teleportation in any way, shape, or form.
As she hurried through the dark woods outside of east Ponyville, she bumped into something. At first, she thought it was a tree, but when she shone her horn, she realized it was a tall, quite handsome stallion.
"H-hello there, mister," she said, her voice shaking with every word.
"Hello there, fair lady," a booming voice replied.
"W-what's your n-name?" she replied
The stallion simply replied; "They call me the Terror of the Night, Hero of the Yaks, Slayer of-"
"Blah, blah, blah, what's your fucking name?" Twittle replied, in a shockingly pissed off tone.
"Oh, uh, they call me Dusk," he replied.
"Ok, Mr. Dusk, help me find my way home." Twittle said, still pissed off.
"But-"
"NOW!"
Dusk led the still pissed-off mare back the route he had taken, and they soon arrived near the cottage of a certain yellow pony. They walked past it, straight to a melon stand, as it was nearing breakfast time and they were both famished.
"This melon reminds me of one of my friends back in Canterlot…" Twittle said.
"Oh, that sounds nice," Dusk replied
"No, it isn't. She was a colossal bitch!" she said right before she stabbed her 6" knife into the melon, destroying it.
After that melon catastrophe, they decided to continue onwards. Soon enough, they reached the cottage of Dusk, which he had agreed to let her stay for a little while. While she was settling in, Dusk attempted to make small talk with this… thing.
"So, how are things back in Canterlot?"
"Fine, I guess."
"Wow, why are you being so crabby?"
"Do you think I fucking know? Well, I don't. I'm going into town. See you later, asshole."
Twittle left the home, slamming the door with her magic.
"Wow, what a bitch," Dusk thought to himself.
Twittle walked into town. It was Saturday, also known as market day. She hated it back in Canterlot, so she hurried through the mazes of stalls, looking for one selling instruments of some form. She saw one, where this tan pony was selling pictures of butts. What a perv, she thought to herself. She was galloping as fast as she could to the music stand. She saw others; one was just selling pictures of Fluttershy, another with pictures of Rarity. She finally reached the music stand.
"Hello there, fair lady, what can I ge-"
"I WANT ALL YOUR FUCKING FLUTES!"
"Uh... ok then... That'll be 450 bits, miss."
She threw a sack of bits on the table, "SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!"
"That seems like it'll do," the salespony said as he handed her the flutes, "Anything els-"
"THANKYOUGOODBYEHAVEANICEDAY!" she said, storming off into the distance.
Back at the house, Dusk was cooking dinner, when he heard the door slowly open. Oh lord, here we go, he thought to himself, but when he turned around, all he saw was a giant ball of fur with a head barely sticking out.
"Who the he-"
"I AM THE GREAT AND POWER FLUFFY, BOW DOWN TO ME LESS-ENDOWED PEASANT."
"Jesus Christ, why this..." Dusk mumbled under his breath.
"Why aren't you bowing?" Kind Fluffy asked.
"Because that would make me stoop down to the levels of Christians, believing that somebody has all the power in the world over one little trait."
"Oh... I never thought of it like that..."
"Well, now you do. So get the fuck out of my house, you fluffy freak."
-Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest-
"It's ready, Madame." Twittle said, ominously.
"Wait, what the fuck did I make again?"
"You made something that can transfer the power of music all across Equestria, remember?" Twittle said.
"Oh, yeah."
-Back to our regularly scheduled Ponyville-
"Twittle? Twittle? TWITTLEEEEEEE!" Dusk shouted loudly into his hoof.
"Dude, this isn't fucking Metal Gear Solid." Fluffy said
"The only reason I brought you along was because you said you knew this area well, not to tell me how to live my life."
"Fine."
They continued their hunt for Twittle, which has not been going successful. They searched nearly everywhere; the town square, the mayor's office, even Pinkie Pie's house, which they later regretted.
"So far, this is becoming a huge waste of our time." Fluffy said, covered in confetti and cake after the visit to Pinkie's.
"Yeah, we should just give up here..."
Right after he said that, he bumped into a small mare, who looked like she had just crawled out of hell.
"Who the- oh hi Twittle."
"How'd you know?"
"You look like shit."
"Thanks."
"Let's go back to-"
"What's the fluffy thing?"
"He calls himself "King Fluffy," but I call him Fuzzball."
"Ok. Let's go back to your place."
"If you say so..."
When they reached Dusk's cottage, they all settled in for the night. Dusk had a bed set up for Twittle, but Flu- I mean Fuzzball was so fluffy that he just slept on the floor.
"Well, goodnight, bitches!" Twittle shouted, before blaring some awful music on a flute.
"What the- WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GET A FUCKING FLUTE?!"
"Oh, I bought it while I was out. Pretty cool, huh?"
"WELL GET THAT AWAY FROM ME!"
"No."
Dusk proceeded to grab the flute and smash it with his bare hooves.
"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, BITCH!"
Twittle just stood there, shocked at how this... this thing could break a solid steel flute that easily. She started sobbing when she realized what he did.
Dusk arose and said, "Sorry, I get angry really easy. I'll go buy you-" He was interrupted by Twittle punching his nose, breaking it.
"WELL FUCK YOU TOO!" he said as Twittle ran out.
Dusk stood there, trying to stop the bleeding, when all of a sudden, he heard out of the corner of the room;
"Wanna fuck?"
-END OF CHAPTER 1