Disclaimer: Dude I do not own twilight in any way, or the characters, or anything actually, BUT STEPHENIE MEYER DOSE!!
"Were on!" Dexter yelled out to everyone. "No really?" Ryan said smacking him on the back of the head. I giggled and stepped in front of them and grabbed a guitar. It felt so light and delicate. After 100 years I still haven't got used to my vampire strength. There was 4 other people in our band. One Dexter. He had dark curly hair, the normal golden eyes, pale skin, he wore a flannel button down and a faded concert t shirt underneath with classic dark blue jeans and checkered vans. He was skinny for a guy, but still muscular. Same with Ryan. He had more shorter hair, dark brown and flattened and styled he was wearing black skinny jeans, a old fashioned, almost Victorian, blouse with a not even tied bow tie around his neck. He had to be the only guy I have ever met who actually could pull of eye liner. Theres also Nick, he has pure black hair, its style like alex evens hair. But it fits better with Nick, his pure pale skin makes his eyes stand out, and his face has less baby fat then alex evens. He was wearing a purple hoodie dark blue skinny levies and converse. And last when Brendon, he also wore eye liner, but unlike with Ryan it didn't work for him. He had super dark brown hair it was short but no to short and was cut a messy, he was wearing white zipperd hoodie, underneath a blue t-shirt, and blue skinny jeans.
Then me, bella. If I said I hadn't change much since I was human…..Id be lying. I had gone through so much pain…with Edward….well leaving me… it was hard. But I wasn't worthy of him. He didn't love me. And no matter how much it hurt I had to move on. I know you must be curious on how I was change, too bad. Cause I don't want to tell you unless I have to. I look drop dead gorgeous. I had my hair my normal way (Like this .com/albums/z287/kimica42/kristen_ ) but it was far darker then when I was human it was more of a black red. My face was pale like paper, but my golden eyes stood out. My lips were pinker then when I was human. And I was more curvy then when I was human. More grown up. I was wearing a black hoodie with the hood up. My nails were painted white, I had on my chuck high tops and dark blue skinny jeans.
I now had my guitar and was in place on the stage. I was remembering how much pain Edward left me in. I sang and played guitar, I wrote all the lyrics. Ryan played guitar to, Dexter played bass, and Nick also played guitar, while Brendon play the drums. I smiled at them and the stage crew open the curtain. A bunch of people were screaming, but I smelt….vampires. But not my band members. Could it. No no no no. I searched the crowd and then found them. Pixie like girl, mother like, father like figures, crazy blond hair, bulky guy, a beautiful blond. I winced when I saw a Greek God. Hes eyes pleading with mine. I frowned. I turned to my band. They instantly knew who I was starring at. "Would you like us to take care of him" Dexter said eager for a fight, he growled. I walked over to dexter and hugged him. "Thanks but no thanks, Its not his fault he didn't love me" I frowned. But Dexter only nodded at me and returned the hug "But if you change your mind" Ryan cutted in with a grin. I lightly smacked him as I walked back to my spot on stage "Ha right Ryan," Brendon laughed "Says the vampire who wears eyeliner" We had this whole scene in only a matter of 10 seconds. No one even noticed us move except maybe the cullens. I cleared my throat, un needed yes but for effect " Okay guys, now," I said looking over at Nick, he was ressuring and always there for me, he nodded his head and smirked. I was scared cause mosto f the songs I sang. Were me being mad at Edward. Sad. Depressed. I turned back to the audience who were still screaming "Were going to start off with Famous last words" I smiled at the audience and began to play the guitar and I turned and leaned into the mike. Singing the song that haunted me so many years ago.
"Now I know
That I can't make you stay
But where's your heart
But where's your heart
But where's your
And I know
There's nothing I can say
To change that part
To change that part
To change
So many
Bright lights they cast a shadow
But can I speak
Well, is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A life that's so demanding
I get so weak
A love that's so demanding
I can't speak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home"
I choked out. If I could cry tears would be streaming down my face. But I was angrey now. Mad. I wasn't sure why but I contuined slamming on the stings on the guitar as I played the chords.
"Can you see?
My eyes are shining bright
'Cause I'm out here on the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror
And I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding
I'm incomplete
A love that's so demanding
I get weak
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
These bright lights have always blinded me
These bright lights have always blinded me
I said
I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead"
I turned to look at the Cullens, all expression were the same. Guitly sad, depressed. But not Edward and Alice. Alice was almost beaming. Edward, looked like he was dying. How I wanted right then to comfort him. To drop on my knees and beg. I would do that for him. And only him. But I continued
"'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey, if you stay I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home"
The audience screamed and I smirked "Thanks guys!" I smiled and turned to Nick, he smiled at me, showing off his perfectly white teeth. "Now bella wrote this" He said nodding to me, I made a small smile "This is about a bad break up, someone leaving.." He looked over to me and I nodded "Lies, plays, leaving, pain, depression" I said adding on to it. I smirked mischievously as I sand the song. Edward. Edward. Edward. Edward. Was all I thought. Now he would know How I felt. No matter how much it tore me apart to see him there wincing as if he about to fall over and some jealousy. Yes I could tell. I choked out the lyrics
"Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
And after all this time that you still owe
You're still a good-for-nothing I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
I don't love you
Like I did yesterday
Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out
Is where you oughta stay
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
I don't love you
Like I did yesterday
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday
I don't love you
Like I loved you
Yesterday
I don't love you
Like I loved you yesterday"
"And you left, and you had the guts to say. You didn't love me like you loved me yesterday. No matter how much pain it cause me when you said it…….." I said slowly glaring at Edward. But I continued onto the next song, waiting for the intermission. But still shaken. What if they come and see me during the intermission. What do I say. I bit my lip and realized Ryan already introduced the next song. So I began to sing. I could feel confidence coming back as I sang
"Well, I know a thing about contrition
Because I got enough to spare
And I'll be granting your permission
'Cause you haven't got a prayer
Well, I said hey hey hallelujah
I'ma come on sing the praise
So let the spirit come on through ya
We got innocence for days
Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell
Everybody burn the house right down"
I winked at the audience as I said "Well I think Im gonna burn in hell" I saw a glimpse of Edward and now He looked so guilty and deprived.
"And say
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel
Take this to my grave
Tell me I'm a bad man
Kick me like a stray
Tell me I'm an angel
Take this to my grave"
I sang now with much intensity
"You play ring around the ambulance
Well like you never gave a care
So get the choirboys around you
It's a compliment I swear
And I said ashes to ashes we all fall down
I wanna hear you sing the praise
I said ashes to ashes we all fall down
We got innocence for days"
I was almost yelling and singing at the same time now. I went on
"Well I think I'm gonna burn in hell
Everybody burn the house right down"
I screamed into the microphone
"And say
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel
Take this to my grave
Tell me I'm a bad man
Kick me like a stray
Tell me I'm an angel
Take this to my grave
You better run like the devil 'cause they're
Never gonna leave you alone
You better hide up in the alley 'cause
They're never gonna find you a home
And as the blood runs down the walls
You see me creepin' up these halls"
Then the next part. I gave Edward a warning stare. For a minuted he almost looked happy, but shook it off as I sang
"I been a bad motherfucker
Tell your sister I'm another
GO! GO! GO!
And I said say
What I wanna say
Tell me I'm an angel
Take this to my grave
Tell me I'm a bad man
Kick me like a stray
Tell me I'm an angel
Take this to my grave
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man
Tell me I'm a bad, bad, bad, bad man
So get up
So get out
S-I-N
I
S-I-N"
Next song, last before the intermission. I guess you can say, I was having a little to much fun showing the Cullens my pain. I walked over to the piano and nodded to nick, ryan,brendon, and dexter. The walked off the stage, pushing each other off. I giggled at them and they finally walked off. I gave the audience and estatic look. I was almost beaming, my perfectly white teeth showing. I went on as I played the piano with much force
""Well they encourage your complete cooperation
Send you roses when they think you need to smile
I can't control myself because i dont know how
And they love me for it honestly
I'll be here for a while
So give them blood, blood
Gallons of the stuff
Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough
So give them blood, blood, blood
Grab a glass because theres going to be a flood
A celebrated man amongst the gurneys
They can fix me proper with a bit of luck
The doctors and the nurses they adore me so
But its really quite alarming
'Cause im such an awful fuck
(Why thank you!)
I gave you blood, blood
Gallons of the stuff
I gave you all that you could drink and it has never been enough
I gave you blood, blood, blood
Im the kinda human wreckage that you love""
I finshed slaming the last keys of the song. Everyone was cheering except the Cullen's. Even Alice had a frown on her face. I walked off the stage after saying there would be a 15 minute intermission.
Dexter and Ryan were waiting for me off stage, there were hilarious together. I smiled at them,Then Dexter and Ryan were at bother sides of me. "So bells Im your favorite right?" Dexter said circirling as Ryan then said to "Pishh Poshh Dex, Im so her favorite right Izzy?". I Let out a short "HA!" As Ryan and Dexter continued to circle around me at vampire speed. "You guys know I don't choose favorites" I said smirking at them. "But if I had to" I said putting my pointer finger to my chin "I'd choose Ryan!" Dexter pouted and I laughed Ryan stopped pacing and kissed my cheek. I smiled up at him. I heard a growl and someone clearing there throat. I turned a little to fast and Ryan, Dexter, Nick, and Bredon were all behind me. I finally realized why. The Cullens were standing there. It was Edward who growled. "Bella…." He said slowly looking up at me with innocent eyes. Alice pushed pass Edward and jumped on me hugging me I smiled and kissed her spiky hair "IVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH BELLLA!" I smirked and said "Ive missed you too Alice" My band/ family members, relaxed. Emmett walked over to me and nodded at Dexter and Ryan "Im sorry but Im afraid that Im her fave" He said snapping at them with his fingers. I laughed and Emmett grabbed me in a bear hug. Now Ryan and Dexter were pouting. I giggled then said "Um…Emmett….owwww!" I screeched he let me down and I beamed at him "Yes your right, you are my favorite." Then surprisingly Rosalie hugged me tight "I'm sorry Bella" I frowned and looked at her "There's no reason for you to be, it's not your fault…he didn't……want me anymore" I choked out and she looked at me stunned I frowned but Edward looked choked up then said "Who. Did. This. to. You" Between clenched teeth. I looked at him. But then noticed he looked almost a mess. His bronze hair was all messed up and it looked like he hasn't token a shower in atleast 4 days. I take that back. I know he hasn't. But right then Nick perked up. He walked over to me put his arm around my waist and said "Me". I tensed up. Would Edward be mad. But he didn't know why Nick did it yet. So there should be no reason. Ryan walked over to Nick and put his elbow on his arm. "Yep this fella's guilty as charged." Next was Dexter who then put his elbow on Ryan's arm "Just give me some hand cuffs and lock him up" Then lastly Brendon came up and made it worse "Just don't forget to hide the key Eddie" I growled at them. Gosh they could be over protective and so annoying. Edward looked pissed but I ran up to him at vampire speed to fast, and dexter,nick,ryan, and Brendon all fell down like dominos. I stuck my tongue out at them. This added them to start rolling on the floor laughing. But I continued to walk towards Edward. I didn't care if he didn't love me. He look like a angry wreck and I could take it. I wrapped my arms around his waist and put my hands in his back pockets and kissed his chin, mainly cause it was all I could reach. Edward tensed and I backed up, My hood now falling off my head. I bit my lip and if I could cry I would. He didn't love me. I ran at vampire speed into the backstage room nick following behind me. I slammed the door but Nick got in before It even hit the door frame. I frowned and locked the door. Nick was enough. I fell on the couch and buried my face in a pillow. Nick sat down next to me and folded a piece of my hair behind my ear and rubbed my back trying to make me calm. I was sobbing now. "How could I be so stupid?!" I screamed flipping over and jumping off the couch. "He made it clear when he left, he didn't want me" I clasped onto the floor and a second later I was in Nicks arms, His head was resting on my head saying "Your not stupid bells, he has no clue what he missed out on" I sighed and kissed Nicks cheek. He smirked and kissed mine "Come on bells, we still have a show to do remember?" I nodded my head and he put his hand around my shoulder and led me to the stage. Edward growled at Nick and said "Please Bella we need to talk" I walked over to Edward, Nick was now leaning against the wall waiting to go on stage "Edward," I sighed "Im sorry, I shouldn't have acted that way" I said not looking at him but at his shoes, I was making my way up when in the middle of my next sentaced I saw a engagement ring on his finger "I know you don't want me…and I shouldn't have act- Im just so stu- OH MY GOD, EDWARD ANTHONY MASEN CULLEN" I screamed I was pissed. I was starring at the ring now "You..you.." I turned to Nick, Edward tried to grab my arm but Nick, And now Dexter too, growled at him. Edward sighed "Please bella, can we talk later?" He was pleading and I would have stood stong but I sighed and dared to look into his eyes "Wy Edward? So you can tell me even more about how much you don't love me. How you hate me? Well know whats Eddie?" I asked extreamly pissed off "theres no need to, I already know" I snapped and walked away from him and went back on stage. I rushed to the microphone and said "Okay guys, Im ready, Im mad, this is I never told you what I do for a living"
"Stay out of the light
Or the photograph that I gave you
You can say a prayer if you need to
Or just get in line and I'll grieve you
Can I meet you, alone
Another night and I'll see you
Another night and I'll be you
Some other way to continue
To hide my face
[Chorus:]
Another knife in my hands
A stain that never comes off the sheets
Clean me off
I'm so dirty babe
The kind of dirty where the water never cleans off the clothes
I keep a book of the names and those
Only go so far 'til you bury them
So deep and down we go
Touched by angels, though I fall out of grace
I did it all so maybe I'd live this every day
[Chorus:]
Another knife in my hands
A stain that never comes off the sheets
Clean me off
I'm so dirty babe
It ain't the money and it sure as hell ain't just for the fame
It's for the bodies I claim and lose
Only go so far 'til you bury them
So deep and down we go
Down
And down we go
And down we go
And down we go
And we all fall down
I tried
I tried
And we'll all dance alone to the tune of your death
We'll love again, we'll laugh again
And it's better off this way
And never again, and never again
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we're all dead now.
Well never again, and never again
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we're all dead now.
Well I tried
One more night
One more night
well I'm laughin' out, cryin' out, laughin' out loud
I tried, well I tried, well I tried,
'Cause I tried, but I lied
I lied
I tried
I tried
I tried, well
And we'll love again, we'll laugh again
We'll cry again and we'll dance again
And it's better off this way
So much better off this way
I can't clean the blood off the sheets in my bed
And never again, and never again
They gave us two shots to the back of the head
And we're all dead now"
I sang, this had something to do with my death as a human. I sighed and went over to the piano
"Okay guys this is a different song, not like the others, " I said slowly "This is called
"The fly" I said slowly as I touched the keys and sang
"When I pull the wings off of the fly
The fly never wonders why I did it
When I pull the wings off of the fly
The fly never wonders why I did
You know they didn't ever
Have to love me
No, no, no
And no one ever will ever
Love them now
Oh, oh, but they
They always wanted somehow
To save me
Why, oh, why
For pit's sake, they should've saved themselves
Oh, oh, but you
You always said I never missed a note
I only ever wanted to be with you
I only wanted someone to play
Play, play, play
When I pull the wings off the fly
The fly never wonders why
You know they never really ever had to love me
No, no, no
But no one will ever love them now
Oh, oh, but they
They always thought that somehow they could save me
But why oh why
For pity's sake me, they should've saved themselves
but you
you always said I never missed a note
and nobody ever knew me like you do, you do
You always said it's gonna be ok, ok
I only ever really wanted to be with you
I only wanted someone to play, play, play, play
When I pull the wings off of the fly
The fly never wonders why I did it"
"Okay guys last song….here it goes"
"You were young but so am I
And this is wrong but who am I to judge
I feel like heaven when we touch
I guess for me this is enough
Were one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.
You were young and I was scared
You're wise beyond your years, but I don't care
And I can feel your heart beat
You know exactly where to take me
Were one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.
Ooh ooh. ooh ooh.
You remember me
You asked as I leave
Remember what I said
Oh how could I, oh how could I forget?
Were one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.
Were one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.
Were one mistake from being together
But let's not ask why it's not right
You won't be seventeen forever
And we can get away with this tonight.
Ooh ooh. Ooh ooh.
Ooh ooh. Ooh ooh.
Ooh ooh. Ooh ooh."
"How ironic" I frowned and put the guitar down and stormed off stage, Dexter then said "Ooh um ignore her, she a little moody at this time of the month if you catch my drift" Ryan was rolling on the floor now and I could even hear Emmett laughing. I sighed
_to be contuined if people actually read it lol