Summary: Based on an old challenge at WIKTT. The Sorting Hat decides that in light of the upcoming war, the entirety of Hogwarts will be re-sorted, causing all sorts of lovely drama! What happens when the Golden Trio is separated and one of their own ends up in Slytherin?

A/N: This looks to be shaping up as an interesting if some what wild and unbelievable story. Obviously it's AU, and some of the characters may seem OOC to you, but in my mind, they're not, so please, don't bother to bring it up!
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. I am, however, Betty Crocker, and I've got the papers to prove it! Sorry, it's something dumb I said to my mother once. But it makes a good disclaimer! Where I Belong

Chapter 1: Little Lioness

Hermione Granger stared out the window of the thestral-drawn carriage and gazed and the huge, dark castle looming before her. Hogwarts, her home for the last six years. And now, as she approached her seventh and final year within its walls, she was filled with a sudden sense of foreboding. She couldn't explain what was wrong, exactly; just that something big was going to happen and soon. She couldn't tell if it was a good big or a bad big, but it was BIG. She was pulled out of her silent reverie by her companions in the carriage—Neville Longbottom, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter—her closest friends. But, being her closest friends didn't keep them from getting on her final, fraying nerve. "Hermione! Earth to Hermione! Come on, Head Girl, get our head out of the clouds!" The rest of the carriage laughed at Ron's pathetic attempt at a pun.

How pathetic, she thought, and he wonders why I won't date him! In all these years I've known them, none of them have really changed. They haven't grown or matured or gained any insight or wisdom. Why in Merlin's name do I continue to put up with them? And this group went to the Department of Mysteries our fifth year? It's a wonder only Sirius was lost! But of course, she scolded herself for that last thought. She didn't want to speak ill of the dead. And none of them were really at fault. It was a fatal accident that could have been prevented by clear thinking, not rash actions. "Well, excuse me! I was thinking, you know that thing that higher life forms do in attempt to gain insight and knowledge? You might try it sometime!" They looked at her in shell-shocked silence for a moment before Ginny finally muttered, "Merlin 'Mione! What crawled up your ass and died? You sounded like Malfoy, or worse Snape!" "It's Professor Snape, and what's wrong with sounding like him? Or Malfoy? At least they both possess a reasonable amount of intelligence. Their use of sarcasm shows that clearly, it is, after all, the higher form of humor. I'm sure they both are capable of pleasant conversation on topics other than homework, Quidditch, the opposite sex and the latest Hogwarts gossip! And don't call me 'Mione! I hate it! It's only one bloody syllable more to say Hermione!" She sighed and continued looking out the window. "Now, what was it you wanted to say?" she asked without looking at them. The group traded glances. They'd wanted her opinion on the upcoming Quidditch season. "Never mind," she heard Harry mutter. Before she could turn and berate them for interrupting her musing for nothing, the carriage came to a halt. The other occupants scrambled out, leaving Hermione to bring up the rear.

Not that she minded. It gave her some more time to think before she entered the great hall with all its noisy and crammed house tables. What's happened to me? I never use to speak to anyone like that. Think it, perhaps, but never actually say it! Have I really changed that much? Is it possible? Should I get new friends? Sometimes I wonder why I'm still friends with them any way. They're just holding me back. She looked over a her friends as she settled down at the Gryffindor Table across from Ron and Harry—her Official Place for the last six years—and thought I love them. I could never not be friends with them! I just have to accept their faults and move on. I'll just have to watch what I say around them. I don't want to alienate myself, not with the conflict with Voldemort looming on the horizon. They'll need me now more than ever. We'll need each other. Even if they frustrated her, she was loyal to her friends to a fault.

The doors to the Great Hall swung open and McGonagall walked in followed by the first years. Flitwick hurried to the front of the head table to place the three-legged stool with the ancient hat atop it. Hermione had to laugh at the looks of horror on the faces of the first years. She remembered those days so well, back when she'd spouted off her knowledge to anyone who would listen, before she realized it made you more enemies than friends and it was never a good idea to reveal all you know anyway. And she knew a lot. Most people hadn't even scratched the surface of Hermione's knowledge.

The entire Hall's attention was on the decrepit hat. The rip in the brim opened suddenly and it burst into song with no further preamble.

Summer, winter,

Spring and fall

Seasons change

As do we all.

Day to night

And night to day

Listen closely

To what I say:

War is coming

To our hallowed hall.

Heed this warning

Or we all will fall.

The lines are drawn

Now make your stand.

You need my help,

I'll lend a hand.

When you were young

Fresh and untried

Through your heads

I shifted and pried

Until I found a home

Befitting to your mind.

I placed you with others

Of your own kind.

But now you've changed

Matured and grown

You'll soon embark

Making choices of your own

But one last choice

I'll make for you,

One final chance

At the right thing to do.

Every student is sorted once

To that house that fits them true.

But now, let me speak with you again

A second chance I'll give to you.

Hufflepuff loyal, Ravenclaw wise,

Gryffindor bold and Slytherin sly,

You've one more chance

So, give it a try!

"Bloody Hell!" Hermione exclaimed. "Merlin's balls, are you fucking kidding me?" Ginny was worried. Hermione was cursing. That usually meant serious trouble. "Hermione, what is the Hat talking about?" Hermione looked at the table in shock and said, rather loudly, "That bloody hat wants to re-sort us!"

The entire Hall heard her comments in the silence that had followed the Hat's odd, mournful song. Her outburst caused a commotion amongst the tables. Dumbledore stood, looking as shell-shocked as the students did. Apparently he had no idea what the Sorting Hat was up to or why. "Quiet, please students, quiet!" The chatter slowed than stopped. "Thank you. I'm afraid Miss Granger's outburst is completely correct. Hogwarts School in its entirety will be re-sorted into one of the four Houses. However, I'm not sure how we are to proceed. I suppose we should…" Before he could finish, everyone saw that Hat prepare to speak again. "Atticus Albertson" A first year in line squeaked in surprise, but didn't move. "Well boy, come on! We don't want to be here all night! Come, try me on!" The boy hurried up to the stool and set the Hat upon his head. He sat for a long moment and appeared to be speaking with the Hat, if the look on his face were anything to judge on. Finally the Hat opened its brim and said,

"You're heart is brave and true,

GRYFFINDOR'S the House for you!"

The Gryffindors tried to cheer, but it was hard to be happy for someone in the House that you may no longer be a member of.

Slowly the Hat made it through the first, second, and third years, taking plenty of time with each person before assigning them to their new Houses. Plenty remained where they were, but still many were being rearranged. As Hermione proceeded to track the placement of the students, she noticed that more students were being removed from Slytherin than were being placed in. Interesting. Very interesting, Hermione mused. In fact, thus far, only first years have been sorted into Slytherin. I wonder why? She'd have to work out he reasoning behind it later. She watched as Dennis Creevey, the last of the fourth years and a Gryffindor get sorted into Hufflepuff. Hermione continued to ponder the Sorting Hat's strange actions through the fifth years and most of the sixth years. She managed to look up in enough time to see Luna Lovegood sitting there as the Hat said,

" A lion's heart is in your soul

GRYFFINDOR will help you reach your goal!"

"Ginerva Weasley" Ginny walked up to the Hat as Luna moved to the Gryffindor table.

Ginny was practically shaking when she sat the Hat on her head. She feared being placed in another House, away from her family legacy. Oh, what would her mum say? "Child, do not worry so. I will put you where you belong. Your family will understand that, legacy or no. Now the real question is, where do you belong?" Ginny felt the Hat sift through her mind, reading her thoughts and watching her memories Finally the Hat spoke out loud,

"GRYFFINDOR will do you good,

For you have courage, as you should."

Ginny breathed a sigh of relief and walked back to her spot at the Gryffindor table.

Now it was the moment the school was dreading most. The Hat had reached the seventh years. Never had a more volatile class existed at Hogwarts. Who knew what madness this re-sorting would cause?

"Pansy Parkinson," the Hat called. The pug-faced girl got up from her place at the Slytherin table and coolly placed the Hat on her head. After a few brief moments the at called out,

"Hard Working and true

HUFFLEPUFF'S the one for you!"

"WHAT!" Pansy shrieked. Then she fainted. Madam Pompfrey came down from her spot at the head table and brought her around, leading her to the Hufflepuff Table where she was soon joined by both Crabbe and Goyle. That leaves Malfoy alone for the moment. This just gets curiouser and curiouser.

Hermione tracked the placement of the seventh years in her head. Of the original Slytherins, Millicent Bulstrode, Blaise Zabini, Tracey Davis, Theodore Nott and Malfoy remained. The Hat had actually spent a great deal of time with Malfoy. Surprisingly, Daphne Greengrass had been placed in Gryffindor. That will be interesting. No one had been added at all, save the first years. Well, Slytherin will be a small House this year! Hufflepuff now consisted of not only Crabbe, Goyle and Parkinson, but also Hannah Abbot, Ernie Macmillan and Lavender Brown. Ravenclaw was now made up of Susan Bones, Terry Boot, Mandy Brocklehurst, Anthony Goldstein, Zacharius Smith, Dean Thomas, and Seamus Finnegan. Padma Patil had joined her twin in Gryffindor, along with her fellow former Ravenclaw Michael Corner. Neville had remained in Gryffindor and Justin Finch-Fletchly had joined the group. All that was left to be sorted was the Golden Trio themselves.

"Harry Potter," the Hat called out. Harry made his way up to the Hat amid whispers. Everyone wanted to know where the Boy-Who-Lived would be placed. As if I need further attention or trouble! No doubt that bloody Hat is going to try to put me in Slytherin again! Trying to suppress his rage, Harry placed the Hat on his head. "No need to worry about gong into to Slytherin my boy. The time for that has passed. Though I still say, you could have been even greater…but I digress! Now, to what House do you belong?" Harry felt the Hat sort through his mind before crying out,

"Lion's heart to the core,

You belong in GRYFFINDOR!"

Harry returned to his seat as the Hat called out, "Ronald Weasley."

Ron walked nervously up to the Hat. Please, please, please, Merlin put me in Gryffindor! He heard the Hat laugh. "Oh my boy! Even Merlin can't help you now!" Ron sat stiffly as the Hat sifted though his head. Finally, the Hat sighed and said, "Well my boy, I'll make you a deal. I SHOULD put you in Hufflepuff, where you belong, but I won't. I'll place you back in Gryffindor, on one condition: CLEAN UP YOUR ACT BOY! And I'll know if you don't and you'll be booted straight into Hufflepuff! Now,

"If GRYFFINDOR'S the house for you

Prove your heart is brave and true!"

Ron walked sedately back to the Gryffindor Table where he sat sullenly sulking. How dare the Hat say such things! He'd show that stupid piece of cloth.

Harry leaned over to Hermione and said, "Well, who's left?" Hermione ran through the list in her head, then replied, "Just me." "Well, one student left. She's knows who she is. Come now, Head Girl, don't make me call you up here!"

Hermione made her way up to the Hat gracefully and unhurried. While every eye in the Hall followed her tall, tan, curvaceous frame, she had particularly captivated two, a pair of piercing gray and a pair of fathomless obsidian. They watched her from opposite sides of the Hall. She walked slowly and deliberately, her long chocolate curls streaming down her back, her hazel eyes glowing in anticipation of a challenge. No one in the school could deny Hermione Granger had become a beautiful woman, nor did she try to hide what she had become in shapeless clothing. She left her long black school robe open, revealing a light cotton camisole in vibrant crimson and a black and white abstract printed skirt that fell to her knee. While there was nothing overtly sexual about her apparel, her very being overflowed with sensuality. She was a woman who knew how to work her assets to her advantage and it was this attitude, more than her looks, that captivated the two men. She sat down primly on the stool and placed the Hat on her head.

Are you going to be speaking in rhyme here as well? She felt—rather than heard—the Hat laugh. "Ah! So you noticed that did you, little lioness? I thought I was being rather clever!" Hermione smiled mentally. You just don't have anything better to do but sit around and make up rhymes. She felt the Hat prickle "Well you try being a Hat—even a magical one. It's bloody boring! Sitting around on a shelf all year! But I digress! Now, onto your House! I must tell you, I've been waiting to get my hands on you again." Hermione laughed. Figuratively I presume. "Behave! As you can see, I've saved the best for last! Now, where do you belong, hmmmm? Gryffindor?" Hermione smirked. Let me guess, Ravenclaw? "Could be, could be. But tell me little lioness, where do you want to be?" Since when does it matter what I want? What does my head tell you? What do you see when you look at me? A brain, just like everyone else? A Mudblood? The brainy, bookworm sidekick to the great Harry Potter? Or something else? You tell me, where do I belong? This is your job after all. "Too true too true! Well now, I suppose we've talked long enough. Let's get you sorted, little lioness." She felt the Hat pick through her head. She didn't try to stop it, though she knew she was capable. It seemed to stop and focus on the most random memories: her lying to McGonagall her first year after the troll attack, making the illegal potion in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and being turned into a cat, her use of the Time-Turner her third year, her discovery of Remus Lupin's lycanthropy and the night Sirius escaped, helping Harry in the Triwizard Tournament, her time spent with Victor, her creation of Dumbledore's Army, her ridding Hogwarts of Umbridge and so many more that Hermione could barely keep up with it. Find what you were looking for? "Well now, that is interesting. Yes, yes, yes, that will work out nicely." Have you got a proper rhyme thought up for me? The Hat sniffed "Just for that, you get no rhyme!" Oh, I'm wounded to the core. However shall I go on? "All right that's enough of your cheek, little lioness. Let's tell the world, you now belong in…

SLYTHERIN!"