Venture into the Unknown
Johnlock Fanfiction
Have you phoned Lestrade? He has a new case for you. – JW
What case? I just solved one for him. – SH
Well he needs your help on another. – JW
It baffles me how he even acquired the role chief inspector. He always seems to need my help. – SH
Lay off Lestrade. You are a consulting detective after all. And besides, not everyone is a genius like you. – JW
Unfortunate soles. I wonder what it's like being ordinary. Everything probably moves so slowly. – SH
Hey sod off! I'm ordinary and proud of it. So will you help Lestrade? He's assaulting me with texts and I need to answer him before I lose it. – JW
No. – SH
No? Why not? – JW
I'm busy. – SH
With what? Before I left you were complaining that there was nothing to do. – JW
Well I obviously found something to occupy my time. – SH
Another experiment? – JW
Not quite. – SH
Alright, well I'm almost home. I'm turning the corner to Speedy's now. – JW
An overwhelming feeling of panic ran through Sherlock's veins as he hurriedly shoved his notebook journal behind the bookshelf. He only recently began a personal journal, and with John on his way over, he couldn't risk writing entries in front of him. John would surely ask questions, and Sherlock wasn't prepared to answer just yet. What would be an appropriate response? 'Oh I'm just writing about my affectionate feelings toward you John. It's nothing really.' No, that wouldn't do. For the time being he would just have to stow it away for safe keeping.
His newly discovered feelings towards his flat mate were as much a shock to himself as they surely would be to John. That's half the reason why he kept a journal in the first place. Who could he consult with such an issue? Sherlock laughed at the irony of it all. A consulting detective requiring consultation, who would have thought? He couldn't tell Mycroft. They would surely just end up arguing. Lestrade would just babble about his past relationships, and Sherlock was in no mood to hear it. So he came to the reasonable conclusion that by writing his thoughts down on paper and reading them over would clarify the cause of how these feelings came to be. He figured the most capable person to decipher the meaning of all this would be himself.
Why was John so different? Sherlock never had such complications with anyone before. He never cared for relationships. They were tedious, consequential, and required effort – effort he wasn't willing to give to anyone but himself and his cases. But with John it wasn't the same. Sherlock was torn from his revere by the sound of creaking footsteps in the hallway. He slid the last of the books into place the moment the door came open. One upside to his height was being able to hide things out of John's reach. The top shelf was a regular hiding spot for items not intended for others to know about.
Hopping off his armchair onto the floor, he landed, to his surprise, in a staggered motion just inches away from John's face. "Oh ….. uh ….. Hello John."
"Hi … Sherlock. Are you alright?"
"Me? Yeah, fine. Why do you ask?" Of course, Sherlock new perfectly well why John had asked. It wasn't a usual habit for him to vault off his chair and stumble before John. He could almost feel the skepticism and concern radiating from John's face. "I'm just checking. You seemed a little …. eager is all." John shifted weight to one foot and spun on his heel toward the kitchen. Sherlock remained stationary as he watched John grab the kettle and start preparation for his favorite drink. "Tea, Sherlock?"
At that, Sherlock smiled. Before he knew John, tea was almost foreign to him. He never cared for it. It was just a distraction. Just a tedious process of preparation for one tiny kettle full of tea. But seeing how much John enjoyed tea, he grew very fond of it. "I'll take your silence as a no then?" Sherlock was so caught up by the thought of John, that he forgot to answer him. "Uh sure. I'll have some. Hey John?" John set the kettle aside and directed his attention to Sherlock. "What is it?"
Sherlock hesitated just a little before saying, "I missed you." The intensity in his eyes was enough to unnerve John slightly. "What do you mean? I was gone 10 minutes at the least."
"Yes you were, but that doesn't change the fact that I missed you. " John looked at Sherlock for almost a full minute. The detective was never one to express affection. At least, not to John's knowledge. The only time he came remotely close to showing feelings was when he nearly killed a man for hurting Mrs. Hudson. This was a side to Sherlock that John wasn't accustomed to. "I missed you too. I don't understand…..what is this about?"
Without consideration for his actions, Sherlock suddenly leaned forward, closing the gap between them with a kiss. John, who was shocked, hesitated just slightly but soon relaxed as he relished the feeling of soft lips moving in tandem with his own. He felt Sherlock's hand trace up the back of his neck and then settle in his hair. As if mimicking the detective, John raised his own hand and cupped Sherlock's cheek, slowly moving his thumb over his cheekbone. He felt a slight wetness and soon realized that there were tears sliding down Sherlock's cheeks, landing delicately on John's skin. He broke the kiss abruptly and gazed at Sherlock, but Sherlock kept his eyes closed, turning his head away from John.
"Sherlock…Sherlock, look at me. Why are you upset?" Red, puffy eyes opened in response. They were tired, conflicted eyes. Ones that looked tormented and confused. "I ….. uh …." It took Sherlock a moment to regain his composure, but John was patient. He waited quietly until Sherlock spoke in between gasps of air and sobs. "I've just dreamt of doing that for so long…and….I…I was." He cut off to take a gasp of air. "And … I was afraid." John was stricken silent. How long was a long time? Why was Sherlock so choked up? All John could do was stare, mouth slightly parted, his mind blank.
"Afraid? Why would you be afraid?"Sherlock looked intently at the floor, contemplating possible responses. He didn't know how to answer John. He himself had been struggling to find an answer for weeks on end. This whole situation was confusing and a little terrifying. Sherlock's lack of experience with relationships made everything difficult to comprehend. "I suppose I was afraid you wouldn't feel the same way I felt and reject me. I don't think I could ever live without you, and the thought of you ….. well … not being with me …. "
He broke off once more, trembling as he continued to stare at the floor. John had never before witnessed Sherlock in a state of such flustered emotion before. He felt overwhelmed, not knowing the best way to comfort his flat mate. All he could think of was to reach out to Sherlock and embrace him. He clung onto him with both arms pressed tightly around one another, as if to never let go. John rested a hand on the back of Sherlock's head, stroking his hair in slow, comforting motions. Sherlock came in closer, nuzzling his face into John's neck. The feeling was almost electric, with a mix of pity and sorrow.
John moved in closer as well. "Sherlock …. Don't think for one second that I would ever leave you. It may not surprise you, but, these feelings are reciprocated." Without a second to think, Sherlock was kissing John again, this time with more passion and force. But this time, John was prepared. He returned the kiss without hesitation.
John awoke from a deep sleep to the sound of his alarm clock. He reluctantly opened his eyes and reached an arm out to shut it off. Sherlock, who wasn't even stirred by the alarm, had his arms securely wrapped around John, his legs entangled with his. How could he leave for work when his current situation was far more pleasant? John leaned over and kissed Sherlock's forehead gently. The detective peaked his eyes open in response and smiled back at his flat mate. Without warning, Sherlock rolled John over and onto his stomach. He leaned forward and proceeded to kiss John with much enthusiasm. "Sherlock …. I have to get going. I can't miss work." "Who's preventing you from staying here with me?"
"Bills, payments. We haven't had a case in a while, and we need to get money somehow."
Sherlock smiled, then leaned forward once more, pausing an inch away from John's ear.
"You make a good point John … but perhaps I could persuade you otherwise."