My Cold Heart
By: The Nevermore Raven
The days of my bitter life are becoming longer and duller as many seasons pass. Though days go by and the world keeps turning, it keeps turning without me. I feel detached, for I am not of this world. I never have been part of the world. I am wandering through the city where the only people I know reside, for decades passed since I was forgotten and left in a storage room. The sky is bleak, a solid sheet of dark grey clouds that provides an incessant drizzle of rain, and yet it reflects my feelings. Many tall buildings tower into the sky, adding more to my sense of lowliness as my fur dampens from the assault of the sky.
Why, you might ask, am I so depressed? I am so melancholy for I am alone. I have no family that lifts my heart up each day. I have no friends to worry about me and let me know that I make their lives better for them. I have no family, therefore I have no home. Home is where the heart is, after all. My home is nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything; existent yet impossible; easy to find, yet lost forever in the ravages of time.
I am the miserable and the abandoned. The people I know stopped me in my tracks as I was about to bring the world to an untimely end. We waged battle among the stars far above the highest clouds in the sky. Something about this group stopped me; they were friends with each other, allies. The sidewalk I walk upon is poorly made, having countless cracks and potholes, caused by the endless barrage of sun, rain, ice, and time.
I walked through a large puddle, causing small splashes and ripples to flow along its surface and causing my shoes to become ever more soaked. My soaked fur was cold, causing my skin beneath to become numb as more water dripped from my nose, joining the many other drops that fell to the ground. As I stopped the very disaster I had started not long before, I had hope in my broken heart. They were friends with each other. Maybe then I could become friends with them. If only I knew.
As I continued to slowly walk forward, I heard a scream from someone ahead. My ears rose to focus on the noise as I looked onward across the faded black street, trying to see through the thin haze of raindrops. In the distance, a young girl was pinned to a wall by a large thug. They were in a secluded alley, away from the visible street. I rushed over to the man to get a better look at him and trained my eyes on him as I remained silent.
The poor girl was pressed on her back against the brick wall, and her captor held a large hand to her frail throat. She was lovely, with a fair, pleasant face, brown eyes, shining and neat brown hair, and a shapely body concealed by her grey raincoat. The man waited and stared at his victim as two more men appeared from the shadows of the alley. The girl's eyes widened as she saw them, and in an instant sprang into action, smashing her boot squarely into the large thug's crotch, releasing a pained grunt from his mouth as he let go of her and hugged his privates. She ran as fast as she could possibly go through the wet weather and escaped from the alley out to the sidewalk, and she kept going.
She sprinted by me as I hid myself behind a trashcan, with the three hoodlums racing after her with yells of anger, the largest one lagging behind as he staggered in pain. I let a quiet snort of disgust through my nose as they chased the poor girl and eventually caught her, the three of them holding her and pulling her into a second alley. I raced forward as tiny needles of cold rain pelted my fur and face. I wanted to save the girl from those bastards, and I was determined to do that as I glanced into the alley.
One of the men held a knife to the girl's throat, another removed her raincoat and raised her shirt, and the third massaged his genitals. Bastards. My heart filled with silent contempt as I formulated a plan. A faint blast of thunder rumbled in the distance as the steady sprinkle became a downpour, causing me to start shivering in attempt to get warm. My fur and quills were heavy, laden with the dripping water that fell from the heavens. I braced myself to attack the criminals and stood, spreading my feet apart to sprint.
The girl was exposed; her bra and shapely hips were revealed in the rain as the man proceeded to drop her pants, a malicious grin on his face as she watched him in fear and shame. In sync with a flash of blue lightning up above, I rocketed forward and charged into the man with his knife against the girl's throat. The girl gasped as I collided with the perpetrator, my impact sent the man flying over the ground to land with a thud meters away from the two others. I jumped into the air and rotated, sending my foot into the chest of the second man, downing him with one hit. "Hey!"
The third man pulled out a gun, but I was swiftly in the process of snatching the pistol from him, and in rage I lined up and fired. POW! The first man fell as he clutched his chest. POW! The second man, who was rising onto his feet, returned back to the wet cement below him. POW! The third man, who recovered from my impact, simply fell as blood rushed out of his forehead. I dropped the gun to the ground as the girl started to sob in panic, thunder violently crashed above and rattled the cold and damp air.
I grabbed her shirt, giving her the impression that I was going to rape her. She sobbed louder and closed her eyes, inducing my pity. I gently lowered her shirt, pulled her pants up, and handed her the grey raincoat off the ground. I then waited for her. "Shhhh. I will not hurt you. Get your coat back on." More water dripped from my quills as she watched me for a moment and her breathing slowed and calmed down. I turned to leave her and continue wandering through the city. I heard her gentle voice sound out behind me as I was at the end of the alley and returning to the sidewalk.
"Wait! Don't leave, please!" I stood there, staring at a grey building before me, or at least its darkened shape against the storming sky. A pair of arms startled me with an embrace, forcing a gasp from my lips. The arms turned me towards the girl, and she planted a kiss on my wet cheek. I was soaked to the skin and cold, but I could feel heat defiantly rush up my neck and reveal itself in a pink blush on my face, and the girl laughed softly upon seeing my reaction to her caress. She was in her raincoat again, bundled up to keep herself and her head dry. She stood at the same height that I do, which is about five and a half feet tall, or one hundred seventy centimeters tall.
"What are you doing out here?" I asked with my smooth voice once I recovered my composure. I wandered down the sidewalk by broken windows and boarded up doors of abandoned stores as the fair maiden followed. "I am lost. I was trying to find my aunt's place," she replied honestly. I turned and eyed her with my rubies. "Where does your aunt live?" The girl thought for a moment as I endured the constant hassle of the now moderate rainfall.
"She lives near Crabapple Park." Crabapple Park? She must be lost! That place is six kilometers north of here! "I know where that is. I will take you there," I said as I dashed behind her and lifted her in my arms. She let out a yelp as I sprinted forward across the streets. "Wow. You are pretty strong!" I managed a small grin as I ran. I dashed by two people in coats and we continued talking.
"Stay away from there. There are thugs and rapists running loose." I scolded her as wind and raindrops rushed by and the wind further chilled my drenched fur. The girl looked down in shame. "I will now. Thank you for helping! You saved my life!" Her words of gratitude warmed my heart. "You are welcome, miss. I will not let someone be raped by a bunch of scumbags." We ran into a clearing of the concrete jungle and before us stood a grassy area with dozens of trees that boasted natural and earthy colors among the bleak grey shades of the city.
"My aunt lives near this park. She is at the other side," the girl stated. The grass underfoot was mushy and slick and the trees around us had fat drops plopping under their numerous branches. We were under a stately oak tree and I put the girl down. The oak was relatively dry, as the rain rolled off the leaves away from the stout trunk. "Why did you kill those gangsters?" The girl asked as I watched her brown eyes, a large dome of rich green sheltering us from the rain. I remained silent as more stray drops pattered against the damp earth.
"I hate rapists. I hate them. I care not who they are or why they do it, I simply hate them," I said directly. "You did not need to kill them!" She said back. I became angry and dropped my favorite mask that revealed no emotion. I shouted and I clenched my fist in rage. "I hate them! They..." I trailed off, not wishing to remember what they have done to me. I let a shuddering sigh rip through my chest as my eyes burned with life and I stared into hers. "They raped me."
My voice once filled with violent anger was now soft and bitter as my eyes closed and I bowed my head in a moment of silence. I was trying to find where to begin my morbid explanation. "A man that babysat me years ago kidnapped me, beat me and violated me after I started to trust him. I used to hate him, but now that hate dissolved into indifference. My hate remains for others that do that. I am glad I killed them. They may not have raped you, but they would have raped someone else," I finished as thunder pounded the air violently, drowning the steady ambience of rain in its rumbles of rage.
I looked back up at her as tears burned my eyes. "The bastards would not stop there. They would keep on raping people to feel powerful and crush hearts in the process. My own heart already is crushed. The wounds I must bear are deep, and even after the years have passed, the wounds still have not healed, not even healing into something as gruesome as a scar." Tears left from my eyes, and the girl watched me in shock, holding her hand over her mouth in surprise. My tears added more drops of water to the moist leaves on which I stood. I was finished showing her the skeleton in my closet. "Please leave me here. I want to be in peace," I said finally with a sigh of forlorn pain. My fur and quills were weighted with rain, and now my heart was weighted with anguish. I turned to leave, vanishing behind the nearby trees to angst by myself.
The shade of the trees around me concealed my form from view. I once again settled on waiting for something to happen. Once I was found again by Sonic and his pals, I have wandered aimlessly throughout this city, attempting in vain to determine the direction in which I should send my cold heart. I learned several things that I now wish I did not know such as how Sonic does not like me. The blue hedgehog does not care about me; he casts me aside as some lost thought for someone else to worry upon. I really like the fox, Tails, but the blue hero found some way to keep him away from me. Rouge and Amy are the only decent friends that I know. Rouge is dating Knuckles, and Amy is chasing... still... after her Sonic. I was in the middle of these thoughts when a familiar voice called out nearby. "Hey! I am taking you inside! You look so lonely." The brown eyed girl placed her hands on my cheeks and shirked in surprise. "You are soaking wet! Come with me," the girl ordered. I had not noticed beforehand, but I was actually shivering. The soaked fur that I have and the wind are getting to me.
I found no reason to not go, but as if my conclusion was not satisfying enough, the girl grabbed my hand and pulled me to an apartment. We were climbing up several steps to a raised porch and waited as the girl pushed a doorbell, sending a resonant chime briefly through the air. My muscles continued to quiver as I shivered with more intensity. It is interesting that I am too cold, for I am the Ultimate Life Form, but then again water has good conducting qualities.
My teeth faintly rattled in my mouth as the door before us opened to reveal a woman somewhat shorter than me who was middle aged, wearing a turtleneck shirt and corduroy pants. She had brown hair with slight strands of aged grey in it, and worried, amber eyes. Upon finding her niece, she laughed and threw her arms around the girl and the girl hugged her back. The rain continued to splatter on the ground, sending small droplets into the air. The aunt then noticed me. Her eyes widened in alarm and she spoke softly into the girl's ear. "Jenny, who is that?" Jenny turned to me briefly, and then she faced her aunt again.
"I am sorry auntie. I was lost." The aunt scolded the young girl. Now that I think of it, Jenny looked my age. "You know better than to talk to strangers." I nodded to the aunt in agreement and turned to leave. "Wait! You are freezing and wet! I owe you something!" Jenny protested as I stopped at the top of the stairs. "I a-am f-fine. D-don't w-worry about m-m-me," I replied as my teeth clattered violently.
Jenny turned to her guardian. "Auntie, can we please let him inside? He stopped some crazy men from hurting me! He helped me find Crabapple Park after I had gotten lost! He is cold and miserable, just look at him!" I could feel excess rain flow down my numbed skin as I shivered. The aunt nodded and Jenny went inside, the older woman lent me a hand. "Th-thank y-you-u," I said softly as I entered the house. The door closed behind me and I crossed my arms in an attempt to return warmth to my waterlogged body. "Would you like to take a shower?" The aunt offered. "Yes I would. Thank you so m-much!" I tried to grin through clenched teeth.
"The bathroom is down the hall and to the left." I dashed with a burst of speed to the bathroom and closed the door. "That is the darndest thing I have seen. He was going a mile a minute!" The aunt said with surprise in her voice. Jenny giggled softly and boasted. "He carried me home, and we were miles from here!" I was in a full bathroom with a toilet and shower. I removed my shoes and gloves and set them next to the door against the wall and slipped into the shower. My fur was dripping relentlessly and my shivering did not subside even slightly. The drafts of the outside were gone, so I had some degree of new and much welcomed comfort.
I twisted the knob of the bathtub with my matted, furry hand and the faucet threw out cold drops of water with a sputter. "C-c-cold!" I whined as I turned the knob up. Medium-hot is how I like my showers. The water heated up significantly, and soon steam was flowing around the shower as I sighed in relief. "Ahhh! Hot." I soaked the heat in and brushed my fur, squeezing the cold moisture out of my pelt. I contented myself with standing there and absorbing the heat. My spasmodic muscles were silenced, and my pelt was warm in a matter of minutes. I turned the shower off and squeezed my quills and tuft to remove the excess water. Brushing myself with a plush and thick towel, I was finished with this heated luxury and noticed a hair dryer on the counter. "Hmm," I thought aloud. I picked up the device and clicked a switch, the dryer came to life as it hummed and heat soon flowed out of it. I used the dryer to dry my shoes and gloves and only minutes passed when I was done.
I opened the door, quickly noticing how cool the hallway felt to me after my hot soaking. I was soon at the front door, but as I was about to leave, Jenny stopped me. "Don't leave yet! Come over here and sit down," Jenny insisted as her eyes seemed aglow with warmth. Jenny guided me over to a couch and I sat down. The aunt was sitting in a chair across from me.
"Thank you, ma'am, for your hospitality," I said sincerely as I watched the woman. "You are quite welcome, sweetheart," the aunt said as she smiled softly. "Thank you for taking care of Jenny! I was worried sick." Jenny returned to the room with a cup of hot chocolate, and to my surprise, she handed it to me. The simple act of kindness freed a smile from my heart, and I could feel it shining briefly on my lips. "Thank you, Jenny." The aroma of cocoa filled the air and steam idly floated into the air from my mug. Jenny sat down after she brought two more mugs and sat next to me.
"Where were you, Jenny? I was about to call your uncle!" Jenny grinned sheepishly. "Well, I was lost. I was wandering down the street, trying to get here, but out of nowhere, some man grabbed me and trapped me against a wall." The woman paused as shock etched itself across her face. "What!" I gulped down a small sip of my cocoa, to avoid boiling my tongue. "I was scared. Then two other guys came up to me and watched me. I kicked the guy that was holding me in his crotch, and he let go of me, so I ran." I let a chuckle out as she said that, because the guy deserved it!
"These criminals caught up to me and pinned me against the wall again. I was afraid of what they would do to me, and my fears were confirmed as one of them removed my coat and pulled my shirt up." "Oh my god!" The aunt covered her mouth with one hand and her eyes were the size of saucers. Jenny's eyes were showing nothing but honesty. "The men were removing my pants when he showed up." Jenny looked at me with gratitude. "He knocked all of them down and I was screaming. He then pulled my shirt down and handed my raincoat back. He did not stop there; he carried me all the way home." Jenny smiled at me when her smile disappeared. "Wait a minute! What is your name?" I sipped more cocoa and answered. "I am Shadow. Shadow the Hedgehog." I set my mug down, and Jenny suddenly glomped me, and I could feel her warmth and soft body.
A hot blush sprouted across my cheeks and I stared at the aunt in front of me. "Thank you, Shadow!" Jenny said with a sigh. The aunt laughed and I smiled back, hugging Jenny. "You are welcome, Jenny." My cruel heart filled with warmth. Jenny was warm, but her beautiful body was not heating my heart. The cocoa was hot, but it was not heating my cold heart, either. My heart was being warmed by love. Jenny released me and I drank more cocoa. I finished my beverage and got up to leave.
"Shadow?" A gentle voice called behind me. "Yes, Jenny?" I answered back. A slick cloth was dropped in my arms. "Take my raincoat! It will keep you warm! It is also thick." I smiled softly. "Thank you." Another article of clothing was dropped on top of my new coat; a pair of black jeans. "These are my uncle's but he says they are a little too small for him." I slipped the pants on, and they were a little too big for me. "Take this," Jenny offered as she handed me a belt. I left with a warm heart, a warm coat, a new pair of pants, and a smile on my face. I found a new friend...
The End