Shifter of Time: Yay! I finally got it up!
Konan: Oh, be quiet, Shifter. Yes, you got it up. You & Weaver must have been on crack when you wrote this.
Weaver: We were bored. This is what happens when we get bored. We make funny crack Naruto stories.
Tobi: Don't you have to make Deidara-Sempai say something, Shifter?
Shifter of Time: Oh yeah! Thanks for reminding me, Tobi. Say it Deidara.
Deidara: Ugh, fine. She owns nothing in this story except for the words.
Shifter of Time: Thank you, Dei-dei-kun. ^_^
Deidara: -_-' Tobi, why did you have to remind her, un? *thinks to self- Why did Sasori give me that nickname?*
Tobi: Because Tobi is a good boy.
Hidan: Just let them read the fuckin' story, Jashin damn it!
Fears of the Akatsuki
Characters
Pein
Tobi
Konan
Kisame
Orochimaru
Itachi
Zetsu
Hidan
Sasori
Deidara(explosions)
Kakuzu
Sasuke
Sasuke: I'm bored!
Itachi: So am I.
*Everyone else agrees with them*
Tobi: I have an idea.
All but Tobi: -sigh-............What?
Tobi: What's your worst fear, Konan?
Konan: Water.
Kisame: Why?
Konan: Because water causes my paper to become useless. Duh! Why else?
Tobi: How 'bout you, Orochimaru?
Orochimaru: Michael Jack*hiss*on.
Konan: But isn't that your dad?
Orochimaru: He i*hiss* not my dad, damn it!
*Orochimaru & Konan start arguing*
Zetsu: I wouldn't hurt her if I were you, Orochimaru. She is Pein's girlfriend, after all.
Orochimaru: I won't hurt her.
Tobi: Hey, Kakuzu, what are you afraid of?
Kakuzu: Frankenstein.
Hidan: What the hell? You are fuckin' modeled after him, for Jashin's sake!
*Kakuzu glares at his partner while wishing he could kill the imortal*
Sasori: Pinocchio scares me.
Deidara: How does Pinocchio scare you, Sasori no Danna, un?
Sasori: The nose GROWS. It's just not natural. Plus, he wants to be a real boy. Why the fuck does he want to be a real boy? No one in their right fucking mind would want to be a real person! Being a puppet is way cooler.
*About ten minutes later- Konan won the argument with Orochimaru*
Orochimaru: Hey Sa*hiss*uke, what are you afraid of?
Sasuke: Chickens.
Hidan: Why in the name of Jashin would you be afraid of a fucking chicken? Hell, your hair looks like one!
Sasuke: My hair does not look like a damn chicken!!!!!
Itachi: I know why. *smirks*
Sasuke: DON'T YOU DARE, ITACHI!!!!! YOU MAY BE MY BROTHER, BUT I WILL KILL YOU!!!!
Itachi: You can't kill me and you know it. Pein forbid you to do so when you first joined.
*Sasuke glares at Itachi*
Pein: That is true. Well, tell us, Itachi. I want to hear this story.
*All but Sasuke agree with Pein*
Itachi: It was back when I was 13 and Sasuke was 9. I was bored one day, so I decided to dare him to go pet the neighbors' chickens. They were the meanest chickens I have ever seen. Trying to not look like a scaredy-cat, he foolishly agreed.
Sasori: Well, what happened to him?
Itachi: He got mercilessly pecked by them while I laughed my ass off. Mother and Father were pissed when they found out. It was worth it though.
*All in Akatsuki laugh except for Sasuke, who is glaring at his brother.*
Sasuke: I still haven't forgiven you for that, nii-san!
Itachi: *smirk* Get over it.
Tobi: Tobi wonders what Leader-Sama's worst fear is....
Pein: Me? Afraid of something? Why would you think that? I'm not afraid of anything.
Konan: Oh, really?
Pein: Yes, really.
Konan: Bull shit, Pein. You're afraid of-
Pein: DON'T YOU DARE, KONAN!!!!
Konan: -needles.
Everyone else: .............
Pein: I TOLD YOU NOT TO SAY IT!!!!
Konan: Since when have I ever listened to you?
Pein: Good question....
Sasori: What the hell?! But you have 26 peircings
Itachi: Actually, he has 38
Konan: Well, he actually has 46
Pein: What about that one-
Konan: Scratch that. 47.
*Tobi is confused. The rest of them look disturbed/scared.*
Kisame: How do you- Oh, I know. Never mind.
Pein: What are you afraid of, Tobi?
Tobi: Tobi is afraid of lollypops.
*Itachi licks Tobi's mask. Tobi is mortified.*
Itachi: I KNEW IT! (A/N: I do not own this idea. I was searching for Akatsuki pics and randomly found it.)
Konan: What did you know?
Itachi: HIS MASK DOES TASTE LIKE A LOLLYPOP!
All others: -_-'
Konan: What are you afraid of, Zetsu?
*Argues with self over whether bees or moths were scarrier for five minutes before coming to an agreement*
Zetsu: Tobi.
Tobi: Why are you afraid of Tobi? Tobi a good boy!
Zetsu: That's why.
Sasuke: *smirk* I know what Itachi's afraid of.
Itachi: *shrugs* It's only fair. I'm afraid of weasels.
Pein: Why? Out of everything you could be afraid of, why weasels?
Hidan: Yeah. Doesn't your name fuckin' translate to 'weasel'?
Itachi: Yeah, it does, Hidan, and I'm afraid of them because I got bit by one when I was younger. What are you afraid of, Hidan?
Hidan: None of your fucking buisiness, Itachi.
Kakuzu: He's afraid of something called Barney.
Hidan: He's a big, gay, purple fuckin' dinosaur. Who wouldn't be afraid of him?
All others: ????????
Itachi: Kisame's afraid of fishing poles.
*All in Akatsuki laugh*
Kisame: I have a good reason. You'd be afraid of them too if you'd almost been killed by one.
*All agree*
Konan: There's only one other person who hasn't shared thier fear. Deidara, what are you araid of?
Deidara: Explosions, un.
Sasori: What the hell? But you blow stuff up all the time!
Deidara: I never said I was afraid of making explosions. The only time I'm afraid of them is when I don't control them, un.
Pein: It's getting late and all of you have to set out on missions tomorrow.
Konan: True. Time for bed.
*All but Konan and Pein groan in protest but go to bed anyways*
Pein: Shall we?
Konan: *smiles* We shall.
*Both go to thier room & do God knows what*
Shifter: Well, that's all for this story. I'm tired & gunna go to bed now. Thanks for reading! 'Night!