A/N: I originally posted this on Tumblr for Femslash February and decided to finally move it over. It occurred to me right about the time I was posting the first time that this has likely been done before, so, um. Here's my take on it.
...

"Now, close your eyes and think of something joyful."

Before this night, that wasn't something Raven could allow herself to do. It's… weird, this freedom to feel her own feelings— weird, kind of scary and kind of painful. Because after this night, if all goes right, it won't be something she can allow herself again.

Knowing that, she gropes greedily through her mind in search of every happy thought she couldn't have before and must lock away again later. Though it's selfish to consider her own satisfaction when the others' well-being rests on her shoulders, she wants this to count. She wants the thoughts that lift her off her feet to be worthy of the grand opening and grand finale that they will be.

There are dozens upon dozens of possibilities to choose from— the thrill of battle, the pride of heroics, the rush of celebrity, the contentment of being part of a family— and they flash by in fractions of seconds. None of them, no matter how treasured, can lure her past the barriers that she's spent her life constructing around her heart. She's too accustomed to tamping them down. Raven's stomach clenches in despair, but then she takes a deep breath and the answer washes over her in the form of Starfire's scent.

In her mind's eye, she sees Starfire smiling at her. She sees Starfire looking at her and only her, eyes shining with happiness and affection. She sees bright color blur as Starfire moves closer, closer. Then she feels lips on hers, so warm and so right and so— joyful.

A gasp, soft and delighted, breaks into her thoughts and she welcomes it. She holds tight to Starfire's hand— to her own hand, but she's holding it with Starfire's hand— and feels the answering squeeze. She basks in the mix of fantasy and reality, lets it carry them both through the air and onto the roof.

When she's landed them safely, she allows a small smile. The warmth of the thought is still wrapped around her like a blanket, warm and soft and protective. It's pulled away without ceremony by Starfire asking after what her imagination had conjured.

"You don't wanna know," Raven says honestly, guiltily; she's thinking again of the look Starfire had worn in her daydream, but this time it is in a memory of Starfire and Robin.

"Oh, but I do!" Starfire insists. "Please, tell me— what did you imagine?"

It aches to see her so curious and earnest when Raven knows that Starfire wouldn't welcome the thought once knowing it. It aches more because that smile, unquestionably Starfire's smile even on Raven's face, makes Raven want to answer honestly.

"You…" loving me, holding me, kissing me, "not talking."

The smile wilts, though Starfire is clearly doing her utmost to keep it alive as she claims to be glad to have been helpful. It stings to know that expression and false happiness are likely better than could expected in return for the truth.