A/N: YAY FOR LECTURE! I wrote this for her, because she supports PeinZet! I do not own these characters! I'm sorry, but I forgot a warning: HETEROSEXUALITY IMPLIED! Sorry yaoi fans! XD This is dedicated to Lecture, because she rules.

Pein growled, smashing a vase against the wall of his office. How dare she. How dare she. The memory flooded him against his will as he stared at the shattered pottery. 'Shattered like my heart…'

Pein eyed the ring, smiling to himself as he hid it behind his back and went to knock on the door to Konan's room. But before he could do so, a chance voice caught his attention. "More, Madara!" It was Konan's voice. Confused, Pein opened the door, finding Madara pinning down said blue haired ninja on her bed. He stared.

"Madara? Konan?" he asked. Both turned to look at him, and froze. Without another word Pein slammed the door and walked angrily to his office, where he summoned Zetsu. While waiting for his subordinate he had trashed anything he could find, except the ring, hiding that away in a secret drawer in his desk.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Pein took a deep breath, calming himself before walking over to the door and opening it. "Ah, Zetsu. Come in." Akatsuki was new. Zetsu was the youngest, just about sixteen, and most loyal out of Kakuzu, Kisame, Hidan, and Sasori, and one of the most unattractive. So it was him Pein needed to see.

The plant teen slowly entered the office, standing awkwardly near the door. Pein chuckled. "Please, Zetsu, I don't bite. Have a seat." Slowly, without taking his eyes from his leader, Zetsu sat across the desk as Pein sat behind it. "So, tell me, how have the missions been going?"

"Well…"

"No need to be shy."

"Hai, Sir Leader-sama." Zetsu looked down at his hands in his lap.

"I shouldn't be asking that," Pein admonished himself. "You're such a loyal little subject, I have no reason to ever doubt you would do anything for me." Zetsu nodded slowly. Pein got up from his chair, walking sultrily around the desk to stand beside Zetsu.

"What did you want?" Zetsu's dark side asked. Pein pursed his lips.

"You're a very loyal follower, one of my most loyal. You would do anything for me, correct?" Pein carefully placed his hand on Zetsu's dark shoulder. Zetsu stiffened, looking up into Pein's eyes. "Wouldn't you?" the leader said, leaning down so Zetsu could feel his breath. Hesitantly, Zetsu nodded.

"What do you want from us?" Zetsu's dark half asked. Pein placed his other hand on Zetsu's other shoulder, leaning even further down to let his lips brush ever so slightly against the shell of Zetsu's dark ear.

"Zetsu, are you a virgin?" Zetsu went completely rigid.

"I-I'm only sixteen-"

"And who do you suppose would have us?" Two very different answers, both leading to the same thing. There was a silence so tense you might be able to taste it. "You can't honestly say you are surprised," Zetsu's dark half said, bitterness evident. Pein leaned forward a bit, looking into his mismatching yellow eyes. In both of them he saw the circles of self-loathing he was accustomed to seeing in anyone who had a hard past like Zetsu's. The only difference was in the completely round eye, it was hidden behind anger and denial. In the slightly normal shaped one, it was hidden behind false pretenses of 'I'm fine, I'm fine.' This was going to be easier than he thought.

"I am, actually," Pein said smoothly. "Aren't teenagers raging with hormones?" Zetsu said nothing. "But that's not the point, actually. You would do anything for me, so…" Zetsu still hadn't relaxed, and now he fidgeted nervously in his lap. "Would you give me your virginity?" Zetsu blushed darkly, looking down at his lap. There was a long silence. Finally, though, he gave his answer.

"Yes."

"Right now?" Pein asked.

"…yes…" Pein smirked now, his only thoughts being 'I hope he hasn't eaten recently.' Heatedly, he captured Zetsu's lips in a passionate kiss. Zetsu didn't react, and Pein was glad for it; with those teeth, kissing could be a dangerous affair. But after a moment he pried Zetsu's lips open, slipping his tongue in. He removed his hands from Zetsu's shoulders, capturing the boy's wrists and holding them hostage against said member's chest. Carefully, Pein explored Zetsu's mouth, gingerly running his tongue over the boy's fangs. Mentally, Pein went through anyone else who he might've been able to exploit. Kisame would have only laughed and left, telling him to get a whore. Kakuzu might have done something for the right amount of money, but that wouldn't have been the point. Hidan would have surely called it blasphemy and tried to complete a ritual, and Pein wasn't even sure if Sasori had the necessary equipment.

He was drawn from his musings as Zetsu wiggled slightly, shifting awkwardly. He drew back from the cannibal's mouth, looking down at him. Zetsu was blushing terribly now, and couldn't even make eye contact. "What is it, Zetsu?" Pein asked. He had hoped Zetsu would just be quiet and sit still.

"N-nothing…"

"Are you nervous?"

"No."

"A bit."

"The key is to relax," Pein said. "It's much easier if you just let your guard down."

"Easier said than done."

"He means it's rather difficult when we're nervous to relax. We ever rarely relax, but-"

"We're not nervous."

"Then relax." Pein chuckled. It was amusing to see him fight with himself. But in the end, they felt the same thing, they just took different paths. Pein stood back, offering his hand to Zetsu. Zetsu's white half tentatively accepted it, standing and following Pein around to the side of the desk. Pein slowly unbuttoned the teen's cloak, letting it fall to the ground at their feet. He fingered one of the fronds of the plant around Zetsu's head.

"Can you make this go away?" he asked. Zetsu nodded, performing a few hand signs and it retracted into his shoulders. Today he was wearing a tank-top because it allowed his shoulders to be bare. Pein slipped his hands under the garment, tweaking Zetsu's nipples. Zetsu shivered under his touch, leaning heavily on the desk. Pein leaned forward, circling his thumbs tantalizingly slow. Zetsu gasped, shivering at Pein's cold fingers. Pein placed his mouth next to Zetsu's ear. "Do you like that?" he asked huskily. Zetsu blushed even deeper, looking away while bracing himself by placing his hands on the top of the desk. Pein chuckled. A virgin he most definitely was, sensitive to every touch.

Pein kissed his lips lightly, before moving down his jaw line and to his ear. Zetsu squirmed once his shirt was removed, looking away awkwardly. Malnutrition had left him skinny and feminine, his hips and ribs accentuated by his thin flesh. Pein didn't take any notice, merely kissing along Zetsu's neck, biting here and there to roll the skin between his teeth. Occasionally he broke through, Zetsu's coppery blood staining his lips. Zetsu gasped lightly whenever he was punctured, but otherwise held his tongue. Pein was glad for this, as well as how still Zetsu kept, allowing himself to be manhandled.

Eventually Pein's mouth descended on Zetsu's nipples, first toying with the pale one before the darker one. Zetsu made small gasping, breathy noises Pein took to be hushed moans. But soon Pein tired of this, and stood back up to loom over his subordinate. There was one thing he needed to say. "Call me Pein," he said slowly. No matter how kinky it would be, he couldn't bear to hear a young teenager to call him Leader-sama while being fucked. Zetsu licked his lips.

"Just… Pein?"

"No honorific?"

"Yes, no honorific." Zetsu blushed, looking away. "But only here, only now, all right?" Zetsu nodded.

"Hai… Pein."

"Good," Pein sniffed. "Now get on your knees." Zetsu did as he was bid, slowly falling to his knees in front of his leader. "I suppose you've never even done this, have you?"

"We…"

"We've never even been touched by another person. Ever." Pein nodded.

"You'll have to watch your teeth, all right? Be very, very careful." Slowly, he undid the clasp to his pants, letting his penis fall out. Zetsu licked his lips, looking innocently up at Pein.

"Is this… that is…"

"What about Konan-sama?" Pein had backhanded Zetsu faster than he could even think, and before he knew it he was staring into Zetsu's confused eyes, a red mark beginning to show in the teen's pale cheek.

"Don't say her name in here," he growled. "Ever again. Never. I never want to hear it again." Zetsu nodded, looking away. Pein sighed, thrusting his hips ever so slightly. Zetsu took the mushroom shaped tip past his lips, licking around the slit. Pein sighed slightly, petting his hair to let him know it was all right. Slowly he watched his length disappear all the way into Zetsu's wet mouth. Of course he would be able to do that, he was used to consuming human flesh in rather large chunks. Although Pein was gifted where it counted, it wouldn't faze Zetsu in this act, though it might later on.

Zetsu sucked slowly, mindful of his teeth, and ran his tongue sensually along the bottom from base to tip. Pein shivered, grabbing Zetsu's hair. Startled, the teen turned his eyes up to his leader, wondering if he had done something wrong. "Keep going," Pein said, attempting to keep his voice even. "For God's sake, keep going." Zetsu lowered his eyes again, bobbing his head up and down, gradually getting faster. He grazed his teeth along the edges, gingerly so as not to cause pain, and the man above him gasped. Zetsu stopped again, wondering if he had hurt him. "I said keep going, Zetsu," Pein snarled, bucking his hips back up. Damn. Since Konan had been mentioned, he couldn't forget her first time doing this to him. She had choked, and couldn't get much past the tip. That was nothing compared to what Zetsu was able to do. "Zetsu…"

"Hm?" The small hum sent shivers down Pein's spine.

"Stop." Zetsu instantly slid his mouth from the erect member before him, looking up into Pein's stormy eyes. "No, you were doing fine. Too good, in fact, and I have further plans for myself. Here, stand up." Zetsu got to his feet, standing awkwardly before his leader. Pein's hands flew to Zetsu's pants and soon had them pooling around his ankles, along with his boxers. The teen's eyes widened and he blushed a deep crimson, hunching over, covering himself, and averting his eyes. Pein sighed. He almost just said 'I don't care how ugly you are, Zetsu, that's partly the point', but stopped himself. That wouldn't be good to scare him off just now.

Pein removed Zetsu's hands from his nether regions, letting them fall to his sides. It wasn't as bad as he had expected. There was actually very little pubic hair, and the two colors weren't exactly a turn-off, as it extended all the way down his penis and his legs. Zetsu blushed, opening his mouth to say something, before closing it tightly and just looking down. He already had a raging hard on. Pein placed one hand on Zetsu's dark hip, and with his other he began to pump his erect penis. Zetsu cried out, squirming and writhing. Pein couldn't tell if he liked it or was trying to get away. "Zetsu, please stay still," Pein ordered.

"S-s-sorry," Zetsu stuttered, trying to keep himself still. He had never even touched himself there, never having much of a need to do so. If, by chance, got an erection, he would either just go back to sleep or bathe in a river. Because of near starvation at an early age and malnutrition, he had hit puberty at an older age. The feeling of Pein's cold finger on him was slightly uncomfortable, but intensely pleasurable. His left hand snaked up to grab Pein's shoulder, lightly, merely for a hold on something. His right side was a little too proud to resort to such things, but might.

Pein didn't spend much time on giving Zetsu a hand job, and soon he had removed his hand, looking down at his underling. "Turn around and bend over the desk," he whispered huskily. Zetsu, ashamedly, did so, resting his forearms on the smooth wood of the desk and leaning forward, closing his eyes. Pein sucked on his fingers for a moment before inserting one forcefully into Zetsu's entrance. The teen wiggled a bit but made no sound. Pein added another finger and moved them apart vigorously. Zetsu hung his head, his erection twitching. Soon Pein had three fingers in him, and had found his prostate. This made Zetsu gasp, Pein's name slipping from his lips in both voices. Pein smirked. He always did enjoy having complete and utter power over people.

After a few more thrusts with his fingers he removed them, spitting into his palm and adding it to his member, which still had Zetsu's saliva on it. Slowly he eased between Zetsu's cheeks, embedding his head deep inside the tight heat. He moaned deeply, shoving the rest of himself in while biting on Zetsu's shoulder. Zetsu whimpered, writhing a bit before settling down. "Are you done?" Pein asked, nipping at his ear. Zetsu licked his lips, breathing shaky.

"May I have… a moment?"

"Of course." Pein entertained himself with kissing along Zetsu's shoulder and neck, leaving a hickey here and there.

"It's… it's ok, now. You can move," Zetsu whispered. "But…"

"Be gentle?"

"All right," Pein consented, pulling out and thrusting gently back in. Zetsu shuddered, whimpering pitifully. "Did that feel good?" Pein asked silkily. Zetsu gulped.

"Y-yes, Pein," he said, wanting to use that name as much as possible before this all ended. Pein repeated the action, only harder. Zetsu made a sound close to a whimper and a moan, and Pein knew he had him under his spell. He quickly began up a pace, aiming for the spot that made Zetsu shudder and whimper. Zetsu was tight as a vice on him, and Pein thanked the fates for presenting him with such a virginally tight body that hugged his own and was so obediently quiet.

But, as virgins go, Zetsu was ready to explode. He panted, knowing his release was close. As Pein struck his prostate once more he shuddered, gasping as he released his seed, splattering his own abdomen. Wheezing and sweating Zetsu collapsed onto the desk, face pressed to the dark wood. Pein seemed to barely notice, and merely used the change of angle to go deeper into that heated wetness.

Zetsu merely waited for Pein to finish as the ginger-haired man continued to pound into him. It took a while longer, but soon Pein was losing all sense of rhythm, eyes scrunched closed in fierce pleasure as he panted and sweat above the teen below him. And finally he released, biting deeply into Zetsu's shoulder as he did so. Zetsu shivered at the feeling of having Pein's fluids in him. After a moment of rest, Pein pulled out of him, his semen and sperm gushing forth in his wake, along with a dribble of blood. Shakily, Zetsu turned around, averting his eyes. Pein sighed, running a hand through his sweaty hair. Suddenly, Zetsu looked up.

"I l-"

"I-" Zetsu licked his lips.

"I-"

"Do I have a mission?" It must be terrible when your two sides disagree. Pein leaned forward, kissing Zetsu's forehead and caressing his cheek.

"Get dressed and go clean yourself up. You may spend the rest of your free week as you wish." Zetsu nodded, quickly pulling his pants and underwear up, slipping on his shirt before having his fly trap grow around him again, hiding his face as he hurriedly left the office. Pein zipped up his own pants, sitting down at his desk, looking around at the wreckage.

"You were going to tell him."

"So?"

"That's not very bright. You know we are just the closest thing to fuck."

"Please don't say that."

"Your tender, teenage heart needs breaking sometime." Zetsu sighed, dunking his head under the water once more before clambering onto the banks of the river.

"I know we're just a replacement for Konan-sama. And you shouldn't have mentioned her, it hurt."

"At least we now know he is left handed."

"That's not funny, I got hit for something you said."

"So? I saved you from confessing to him and getting both of us hit, or worse." Zetsu sighed, wrapping a towel around himself.

"I'm glad he was gentle, though. His office was completely trashed. I'd be afraid to disobey anything."

"But we really did like it, didn't we? I know I did."

"I… liked it… but it was a bit… weird. We've never been touched before, well, asides from being hit and such. I suppose it's just an awkward thing."

"I suppose so. And if we had to lose it to someone, he is a very good person to give it to. We follow him, and we now have given him everything: our allegiance, our loyalty, our future, our work, our talents, and now our virginity. Makes sense."

"Yes. But you forgot out love…" Zetsu bent over and toweled off his hair.

"Love has to be returned to be recognized."

"We recognise it. Isn't that enough?"

"No. He will go back tomorrow and propose to Konan like he would have today, while forcing her to apologise and rubbing in her face that he's gone and defiled the ugliest Akatsuki member."

"That's saying a lot, considering Kisame and Kakuzu. Are we uglier than them?"

"Yes. Kakuzu knows how to hide himself, and stitches are not particularly unsightly. Kisame looks like a fish, at least he looks like something. What are we? A checker board? An Oreo? A molding Oreo, more like, with the green around us."

"Is that… is that really all that bad?"

"Oh yes. Not to mention we talk to ourselves and eat human flesh."

"You don't have to be mean about it. I consider our eating tastes to be a necessity. After all, we get everything else from photosynthesis. So meat is logical. No one back… there… was going to feed us meet, so what were we to do?"

"Of course, of course, don't get upset. But you have to admit, it isn't exactly attractive." Zetsu had dressed again and was now heading towards his little cave for the night.

"It's just… we love him… and we've given him everything-"

"You can't possibly suggest he owes us anything. We are still in his debt for allowing us some place warm and dry to sleep, real, consistent meals, and a good job where we don't need to be anything but ourselves. What more could we possibly ask from the man?" Zetsu hung his head as he ducked into the cave, sitting against the back wall next to his pile of wood.

"Why does Leader-sama keep us lonely? I wish we had a partner."

"Idiot. We're partners."

"But we're only one body. Why does he think we need to be lonely? I know we're a good ninja…but…"

"Because he's afraid we'll eat them. It's the same reason Kakuzu is paired with someone who won't die."

"Oh." Zetsu sat in silence for a long moment. "But it gets awfully lonely."

"Get used to it."

"Maybe we should start spelling our name with an X."

"Why?"

"To tell people not to fucking mess with us."