"Look at them," Hungary whispered conspiratorially. "They're totally in love."

"You know, Hungary, just because two people smile at eac-"

Austria's spiel was cut short by Hungary holding a finger to his lips, "look at the way the blonde one is looking at the brunette. That can't be anything but love."

Austria opened his mouth to protest, but sighed in resignation as he realized talking would not get through to the perverted blonde woman. He chose to sit in silence and listen to Hungary talk about how person A was in love with person B.

This was part of their daily routine.

This wasn't half of Austria's problems with Hungary, though. This barely scratched the surface. Hungary sitting on the couch and watching T.V. shows about gay angels and hunters didn't really bother him much. It was the fact that the woman had a penchant for meddling in his own affairs, and harassing him about every man he talked to. Whether Austria clearly hated the other country with all his might or not, Hungary would find a way to prove that he was in love.

This distressed Austria greatly.

It was a sunny August morning and Austria sat on his deck, leisurely sipping a cup of tea and praying that Hungary would sleep in.

Prussia was coming over to his house to discuss business.

Even though they fought like cats and dogs, and their meetings usually ended in extreme conflict, Hungary believed it was just "sexual tensions".

Austria begged to differ.

He feared that if she came out while they were speaking, she would bring out the story he had seen her writing about them.

His face blanched at the memory.

"Hey, El-cheapo, sorry I'm late."

The familiar nasally voice of Prussia rang from behind him, and before he could even set his tea down, he felt an arm wrap around his throat from behind. He wanted to curse, but being a person who consistently took the moral high-ground, he chose to quash his anger with a snide insult. "Even being the cheap person you call me out to be, I have better clothes, music, and food than you." Austria laughed, "it's quite pathetic, actually."

Ok, so maybe Austria didn't always take the direct route to the moral high-ground. He may have made a habit of wandering off of it occasionally.

Prussia only chuffed in response, having grown used to Austria's rude comebacks. "So what am I here for today, my liege," Prussia, as sarcastic and rude as ever, took a seat and spread his legs almost obscenely.

"Good Lord, you could at least have some decency, Prussia."

Prussia looked down at himself, "only women cross their legs, Austria, I feel no need to act like a lady."

"You certainly fight like one," Austria mumbled under his breath, using his forefinger to push his glasses up his nose.

Prussia glowered, "what did you just say, four eyes?"

Austria smiled condescendingly at Prussia, "I said you act like a lady, Prussia."

This is the point where everything fell apart, and to Austria's dismay, everything played out into Hungary's waiting hands.

It was all Austria's fault, at that.

Just as Hungary opened the door to the balcony - cup of tea in hand - Prussia stood up, readying himself to attack Austria. Only Prussia didn't even make it halfway to Austria, as one of his pant legs got caught it a loose nail and he tripped, head over heels, right into Austria.

Under normal circumstances, Austria would have laughed out loud at Prussia's failure to initiate a fight, but this wasn't a normal circumstance.

When Prussia fell and slammed his face, he didn't slam his face into the balcony like Austria hoped he would have.

Prussia fell right into Austria's lap, face first into Austria's crotch, with Hungary watching.

That night, Austria sat by Hungary's side in the hospital, which she had been rushed to due to massive blood loss.

Austria wanted to sink into the floor.